#it's the underlying attempt to convince yourself you don't need it that leads to losing it
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Thinking of how not saving my hentai is a metaphor for my abandonment issues
#it's the not knowing you love something quickly enough to hold on to it#it's the underlying attempt to convince yourself you don't need it that leads to losing it#it's the cycle of repeating it again and again out of refusal to admit your enjoyment#it's the self-flagellation you put yourself through and the pride that makes you do it over and over again#it's the grief you feel because you were afraid to be honest#but honesty is what would have earned you something that lasted a long time#if you were only brave enough and kind enough to yourself to realize#if you were only brave enough to let them know#honestly I'm once again just upset about the best smut fanfics I lost when I was 15#and I didn't realize emailing the author was an option (bad at tech + shy) so I lost it forever#aND RECENTLY MY DUMBASS LOST AN ENGLISH SMUT YRANSLATION ON PIXIV FUCK#ON PIXIV!!!#THE COMICS ARE RARELY IN ENGLISH
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