#its a little funny putting this and zacks one next to each other zacks outfit feels lackluster now My bad

[avanchnzel]

cloud strife pkmn partner mimikyu. real and true? hes a fairy type trainer because the idea of that is very funny to me

[imaginedeux]

On Your Left! Zack Merrick AU Part 9

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ‘

Trigger Warnings: Tattoos, Tattoo Needles, Self Image Issues

-Weeks Later; (Y/N)’s POV-

“Okay, I'm going to start, this is the last time you have to back out.” The tattoo artist said wiping at my ankle. I nodded before I looked away from him.

“You’re going to be okay, it’s smaller compared to the ones the rest of the crew have.” Zack said from next to me, his hand over mine, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, trying to calm me down.

“Defiantly smaller than the one Rian has.” I said taking in a sharp breath feeling the needle come in contact with my ankle. “Yup, shit place for a tattoo.” I mumbled before Zack laughed.

“I told you to get it on your arm, but nooooo Pikachu knows everything.” Zack mocked as I flinched as the needle got closer to the bone.

“Yeah, this next part might suck, so Zack, can you make sure she doesn't move her leg.” The tattoo artist asked wiping the extra ink getting more to continue the line he was on. I turned to see Zack nod and place his other hand on my shin.

“You’re doing awesome (Y/N), just a little it more.” Zack whispered leaning his head against the side of my head. We had only gotten closer and closer after that night on the roof of the bus, it started with secret smiles, hand holding when no one was around, and most recent was cuddling with each other when we watched moves in the living room. “Hey, think about it, you’re the first one in the group to have a different kind of tattoo from everyone else.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to have an exact same one...” I smiled thinking back to when I designed the small skull with cross bones. It wasn’t that amazing of a design, it was simple, a couple of lines, no filling, it was different but it still looked like skull and cross bones the guys had.

“There you go, you’re all done.” The tattoo artist said putting a liquid onto the tattoo before wiping it away. I looked down at the quarter sized tattoo and smiled, it was exactly the way you had designed it.

“Thank you! Its exactly the way I wanted it!” I said happily giving the man a hug. “It looks like I'm officially a part of the All Time Low family.” I smiled at Zack who still had his hand on mine as the guy wrapped my ankle up.

“Babe, you’ve been a part of the family since the day you stepped onto the bus.” Zack chuckled lacing his fingers with mine helping me up from the tattoo chair. I  blushed at the pet name, I still wasn't use to the pet names and the PDA we showed each other out in the open. After paying for the tattoo, hand in hand Zack and I stepped out of the cold shop into the warm air of Hawaii. About a week after tour ended, I temporarily moved in with Zack while we planned our adventures for after Christmas, where we’d spend it here on the island with a group of friends I was going to meet tonight. “So what do you want to do? We still have a couple of hours until we have to meet with my friends until the get together.”

“Not to sound like a total girl from a movie or something, but I still kinda need an outfit for tonight. Most of the clothing I brought with me from home fit a bit big on me.” I confessed blushing. The whole buying actual clothing was still new to me, in college I spent most of my time in jeans and band tees, and now I was in basketball shorts and old shirts.

“Thats nothing to be ashamed of (Y/N), we can go shopping for an outfit, and its not a fancy get together so you don't have to worry about that. Look there’s a store, we can start there and if you don't like anything we can go to another one.” Zack knew very well I was still kind of insecure with my body, and there were still shirts and pants that didn't fit me that well, so he knew that shopping for clothing was a scary thing to me. Luckily for me I was able to find a cute and comfortable outfit and some pretty sandals to go along with it within 30 minutes which gave us enough time to get to Zack’s place and get ready at a calm pace.

Getting to the house I quickly undid the dutch braids my hair were in since last night when I did them after my shower. This allowed my hair to become fake cork screw curls and gave me more time to do make up, which still took me life to do even if it was simple. 

“Babe, you ready?” Zack asked knocking on the bathroom door I were behind applying some liquid eye liner for the millionth time.

“Yeah, sorry still getting the hang of liquid eyeliner!” I yelled ripping open door to find Zack putting on one of his snapbacks. “I should have asked at the store but does this look okay?” I asked looking down at my outfit, it was a loose light blue blouse that had a couple of buttons at the collar, one of which I left undone, some form fitting dark capri jeans, and some nice sandals, I left my tattoo wrapped not exactly sure where we would be heading throughout the night. I honestly felt like a mom on vacation, but I still felt comfortable.

“U-uh, y-yeah. You look incredible (Y/N).” Zack blushed looking at my outfit. He had a fit black tee on, some dark jeans and his usual Supras. “Wow.” 

“Um, thanks. You look good yourself there Merrick.” I smiled walking past him to the room we’d been sharing since we got to the island, to grab my wallet and my cellphone. “Did your friends ask us to take anything?” I asked looking into the mirror one last time just to make sure I didn't look like a total fool.

“Um, yeah, I got it done while you got ready.” Zack explained coming up next to me as I messed with my hair a bit more. “Hey, you already look perfect, no need to worry.” He said grabbing my hand stopping it for messing with my hair more. “Come on, lets take a picture.” He smiled this time putting his arm around my shoulders.

“You really want to take a picture?” I asked looking up at him as he took his phone out and put it in selfie mode. “Hah! For once I actually look tiny next to you!” I laughed looking up at the camera, Zack taking a couple of shots while I laughed. “I wasn't ready!”

“You still look perfect (Y/N), but here we can take some on your accord.” He laughed handing me his phone.

“Yes, let the professional photographer take the pictures, now stand behind me.” I ordered him laughing. He stood behind me as pointed the camera at the two of us. He laughed seeing that he would have to bend down so his face could come out in frame. “Alright, one two three!” I said smiling while I took the pictures, Zack quickly kissed my cheek as I took the last photo.

“I think thats going to be my favorite.” Zack said grabbing the phone from my hands and ran out the room to the dining room. “Come on (Y/N), we need to leave!” Fifteen minutes later the two of us had arrived to the get together, food in tow.

“Liam!” Zack yelled seeing the man who was just as buff as Zack, open the front for the two of us.

“Zack! Long time no see, good to have you back on the island.” Liam said bringing Zack in for a huge hug. “And this must be the ever so popular (Y/N). When we would talk while you all were on tour, he couldn't shut up about you. Its nice to put a face to a name.” Liam said bringing me in for a hug, that wasn't as tight as the one received. “Come in, come in, were only missing a couple of people before we can really get this party started.” He yelled happily before grabbing onto the dish of food I was holding.

“You didn't tell me there were going to be this many people.” I whispered before most of the people in the house yelled for Zack.

“I didn't think there would be this many people either. Everything will be fine, if you need to out of here for a bit, just squeeze my hand twice and well find a quiet place to chill for a bit.” Zack whispered back holding my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. For the next 30 minutes Zack took me around introducing me to all of his friends, all of them, thankfully, were nice. Until we hit the last bunch of people.

“Hey Malia, Jess, Rick, nice to see you all again!”

“Nice to see you again man, long time no see. How you been?” Rick asked giving Zack a ‘bro hug’. “Who is this?” He asked gesturing towards me.

“This is my- um (Y/N). She’s our photographer and graphic designer for tour. We’re going to be traveling a bit after we celebrate Christmas here. So I thought it was a good idea to introduce her to everyone before Christmas in a couple of weeks.” Zack explained, gripping onto my hand a bit tighter. We never really talked about what we were with each other, we weren't in a relationship yet, but we were most defiantly not just friends.

“So you're sleeping with the help?” The red head questioned giving me a nasty once over. I suddenly felt as if I was taking up a lot more room than I should be.

“Jess, what the hell?” The blonde next to her yelled. “Im sorry (Y/N), Jess can be a bit, salty.”

“I’ll fight for whats mine Malia.” Hers? Wait was Zack in a relationship? Am I the other woman? I slowly let go of Zack’s hand stepping away from the group.

“Wait, no, I was never yours Jess! We went to lunch once, and we agreed nothing was going to happen between us.” Zack argued before looking back at me, trying to keep me near him. “Nothing ever happened between us Babe, I promise you.”

“Pet names already? Its funny how i’ve never seen Zack mention you once or even posted about you on Twitter or Instagram.” She shot back, the venom dripping in her voice.

“Because she asked me not to.” Zack retaliated, he was right, I had asked all the guys and Tom not to post any photos of me on any social media after the incident when Tom took a photo of Kellin, Zack and I, and Zack had his arm around my shoulders. Most of the comments were targeted at my weight, which was my main source of insecurity so I though I would make it easier on myself if there weren't any photos of me.

“Or maybe she realized that she’d never be good enough for you Zachary.” Jess said, throwing the finishing blow to my gut. I squeezed Zack’s hand twice, and ran.

[mattyslittleworld]

party in the bush

I’m sitting in the 9th street path station. I walked around the city, as I tend to do, listening to mixes and masters and writing. I get so inspired seeing groups of friends running around the village with excitement. I really get a kick out of seeing people get caught up in their little moments and their path. Even like arguments and frustration. It really reminds you of empathy and that all the people around you have lives with a lot of emotional shit going on. Tonight it feels like Autumn and that’s a really weird feeling for me. Growing up there was a 2-3 year time period where every autumn I lost a close friend due to some reckless stupid shit, most of them died from car accidents and over doses, some I lost through incarceration. But my point is that it was always in October. As soon as the air starts to get cold I immediately get brought back to those times of just adapting to how brutal the world can be. I also have fond beautiful memories of my friend group coming together to heal each other’s wounds over our constant losses and grow as a community. We would all just camp out for years on end at Kait McCarthy’s house in EK by Mcmahon Park and never sleep or eat or have any idea what the future held. I remember I was in love with this girl who id do anything for. I wrote about her a lot on the Jailbirds album that’s about to come out. I wrote about her on the songs “Navesink River Road”, and “Meet Me In December”. I would just sit in Kaits house with my friends and dream about getting out of this shitty town and making dreams come true. Fast forward Danny Clinch actually sings “from Kaits house of abandoned romantics we slept like the dead lord we dearly missed” - on a song called Jeralyn that I wrote about that era of my life. Pure reckless abandoned love and beauty and pain. How ironic that ended up being. To have that man all these years later sing those words about Kaits house and the death of our best friend Dana Centanni. Damn I remember that like it was yesterday. I miss her so much. I wonder who she’d be now. So successful and beautiful and I’d still be chasing her. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if she came home from the mall that day. Would we have started dating? She said we’d hangout that night and the next time I saw her was in a casket on 115. That’s where most people I love ended up. I must have written 8 million songs about her and that tragedy. As soon as the leaves fall I feel that shit in my soul. I also remember our friend Pat died. I was always scared of Pat. He had long hair and was super badass. One night at the st Leo’s fair in Lincroft, a mob of no less than 50 of us left the fair and were walking down the street to go have a brawl behind the elementary school. There were so many of us. I was walking with him and 3 grown men from Asbury walked up to him and asked his name and the second it was given one uppercutted him to the ground in front of me and 3 other friends and they stomped him out in front of us and we were so young and just frozen. It was just so far beyond the scrapping we were used to. Pat got up like a champ, the men walked away, apparently it was for beating up their friend in RB a week prior, and like nothing happened he wiped blood off his face and we went behind the school and everybody went wild. Well weeks later at Kunkel Park in Leonardo, NJ (the hockey rink) we’d all hangout I’d watch everyone do drugs and we’d skate and fight and meet up with girls...me and Pat tried to burn the hockey rink to the ground starting with the wooden penalty box. It was so funny. The hole is still there to this day amongst all the horrible memories of sex drugs and whatever else happens in that movie KIDS. Not long after Pat ended up getting into a car accident. I heard his ribs pierced his lung. He died and it shook the town, and you can still feel it. You can STILLLL feel the legend in the wind in the fall. Amongst Dana. I remember my cousin and our friend Zack got drunk before school in honor of him and came in hearing about some senior saying he was glad Pat died so my cousin drunkenly tried to square up with him. I walked over in a 2xl parka with the hood up and got him out of there, chipped the senior up, turned myself in and that was the end of Highschool North (weeks prior I pulled a box cutter on a kid at Tindall Park and he snitched and somehow Tom Sasso got in trouble?). Onto South Visions where the fun began with all my new friends. I specifically remember being really into bands like Thursday, FATA, Underoath, and all that vibe. I had long emotional hair, kinda like I do now, but for some reason the wave was looking like a girl. Tight jeans, bracelets, the whole thing. So everyone would like blow dry their hair and shit and rock circa survive Merch (when they were a small band) and it was cool I promise. So one morning, I wake up, I pick out an outfit that I think is CUTE and I blow dry my hair and do the thing....go to visions and BOOM its a class trip day. AND THE CLASS TRIP IS TO THE FREEHOLD COUNTY JAIL. Because we were the bad kids. So we get boarded onto this bus, and off to jail we go. I literally got dressed up, blow dried my fucking hair, wore my best shit....to go to county. The inmates were fucking with me so much but for some fucked up reason the way I am I was ready, I wasn't scared, I was like yo fuck this let me at em!!!! which isn't cool. My best friend standing next to me the whole time while we navigated through the system for the day told me “Yeah I just did a week here last month, I don't know why im on this trip. im actually in the system” - he's still a close friend of mine and went on to do time there again for assault with a deadly weapon and somehow my name was in the middle of it and im glad I wasn't there. I remember when Dana died I felt crippled. I couldn’t get out of bed and my teacher Dallessio noticed I wasn’t in class and came to my house and personally woke me up and drove me to school. He cared that much. That changed my life. He was already at school saw me NOT THERE, LEFT THE CLASS, drove all the way to Middletown knocked on my door walked up my stairs and got me into his car drove back like nothing happened. If you’re out there, thank you man. Eternally. That put me on the right path. Damn the cold weather brings so much back. Like my whole class erupting in a brawl and a desk flying through the dry wall into another class room. Or having to have security bring you to the bathroom because you’re a threat to mainstream students. Came along way. From that to Sold out shows all across the world with my hero’s and being able to make records and tour and to take my terrible decisions and Fucked up past and dress it up as wisdom to guide the youth the best I can. Now that I’m in this weirdo folk rock Americana world, I don’t think a lot of these people understand where I come from or who I am. I stay low. But like YG says - STAY DANGEROUS!