#its a nice solution for 'i dont want this in monotone but i ALSO dont want to color'

[humanmorph]

therapy, huh

[dbssh]

*PLEASE* tell me more about Daniel...

OH MAN i dont know a lot about what to say im just!!!! thinking about him so much. i said that i wouldnt go too in-depth with him because hes supposed to be just for funsies but im stupid so! ive been sketching out something of a plot for him & fifteen nd them Bonding and Escaping The Evil Laboratory Together and ive just been thinking about them like. living together after its all over n trying to live a normal life even when theyre all like. fucked up. idk but!!! because im rambling im gonna go into a list of random facts so i can try to stay a lil organized.

for a bit, Daniel just has the big mouth on his face and he can't really speak with it for a lot of reasons, so Fifteen teaches him sign! at first he just learns fingerspelling and spells out every word, and thats fine for a bit! but once theyre out daniel prefers to use sign in public because he tries to cover his face and neck as much as possible, and speech just doesnt... feel all that natural or comfortable with the second mouth anyways, so they both end up learning a lot more!

after they get out, daniel very impulsively rips off his number, which is a peice of cloth (or something? idk) the doctor actually like, sewed onto his skin, so that was probably not a smart move on his part. but later he gets a tattoo around the scar. i havent decided what of yet, but yeah.

fifteen actually leaves hers on! shes okay with her name being a number because like, shes never had any other name and she doesnt really like. give a shit what people call her. so for her its just a fun little name tag!

before everything happened, Daniel used to play guitar! he gets back into it after they get out as a sort of stress relief/distraction. he's not great but thats not really what matters.

he gets back into fishing, too! he doesnt hunt anymore, and he never keeps the fish he catches, he just finds it calming. sometimes he just doesnt put any bait on the hook and he'll just sit there for like. hours. just chillin. being by the water is nice, too.

they tried living in an apartment in the city for a bit but the noise and all the people around was just. so overwhelming for daniel. he spent most of his time inside and didnt ever go anywhere or do anything unless he absolutely had to. so as soon as they had the money to they got a place further into the countryside, near a smaller town. i still havent really decided like, where the fuck they are but dont worry about it. maybe like the midwest or the south or something. idk

fifteen gets into puzzles and video games! she finds an old console and absolutely slams through all the games she can get her hands on. she loves turn-based strategy games and also minecraft :D. she also eventually learns about online shooter games like overwatch and tf2 and. she is so fucking good at them. gamer gf.

fifteen is also super hyped to learn about fashion!!! she didnt wear clothes in the facility because she didnt have any and didnt see the need for any because she doesnt have like, boobs or anything. but when she learns that clothes can just be worn because theyre colourful and fun? she goes ham. she loves big long skirts and colourful t-shirts and anything brightly coloured. never shoes tho, she doesnt like them.

that said her fashion isnt like. good persay. yknow that post about how femmes all dress like miss frizzle? she does that but with slightly less coordination.

daniel doesnt have good fashion sense either sjdbdhdh hes a redneck butch at heart. genuinely owns at least one pair of camo cowboy boots, 90% of his wardrobe is denim.

their house is very sparsely decorated but at the same time very odd. like the few things they have are all things that they really, really liked and since neither of them have Normal or Good taste, they have some very uh. questionable decorations. basically just scroll thru shiftythrifting for a while and u will understand the vibe.

neither of them have cell phones. not for any real reason just. they dont have anyone to call. they dont need or want social media. if they really need something they can use the computer or the landline.

fifteen is very monotone with a pretty non-expressive face and she mostly just looks kinda o_o all the time.

daniel on the other hand is expressive to the point where he's embarrased about it, even when its harder to tell with his weird face. he's usually just like. in a state of mild crankiness but when its just him and fives he actually like. idk shes very calming for him in a way that is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

their home is usually very quiet! daniel doesnt speak a ton and fifteen is okay with that, and neither of them are really that big on music, preferring just to let it be quiet. its especially nice once they live near the river.

daniel has a lot of issues with chronic pain from his teeth, which just kind of. keep growing, all the time. once they get to the point where its like, he cant close his mouth anymore, then it becomes a problem that they actually have to like, Do Something about. (the doctors solution was to just rip out all his teeth every few years. obviously he's not too keen on that.) they end up just filing them down which still sucks and is difficult and annoying but. u gotta do what u gotta do yknow

i still dont know how but they do figure out a way to kiss that is good and comfortable for both of them. theyre not like, super outwardly fluffy and affectionate all the time but. they do still have their moments of softness

[funnysnake2019]

depression, suffering, existential dread is the true 'default' state of being. only by subsuming our awareness or consciousness can we be happy. there is no difference between what you might call 'happiness' and 'contentment': both exist only as the consequence of blunting our awareness of the world and ourselves.

how else can it be explained that satisfying one need can simultaneously satisfy another? how can good food, for example, bring us contentment beyond the mere satiation of hunger? it is only by blunting our awareness of our pain across an area, as a broad spectrum antibiotic does, that it can effect this circumstance.

some of these 'antidolorics' are strong enough to depress our entire sense of self, thereby 'dislocating' pain and thus not senseable.

another piece of evidence is the need for distraction. like how you keep yourself busy when you are cold so that you do not have to be cognisant of it, people keep themselves busy not to think of killing themselves. but when do you ever hear someone say they had to distract themselves from being happy? when you do nothing for a long enough time, you will eventually become sad, so happiness is the unnatural, abnormal, state of being, and sadness, despair, etc., is the 'default' steady state from which you need to perturbed.

of course we do perturb, but not for any rational reason, or the bizarre idea that these ideas might be more delusional than the ideas we entertain when we are happy, which are magical and megalomaniacal. no, we perturb because it feels bad to feel bad. that is simply it.

this is why people have children. as you become older, you slowly (or quickly, viz. depressed teenagers) realise that there is no transcendental 'purpose' to your life beyond what you (arbitrarily) decide. the solution? simply shift your responsibility of making meaning to someone else! "oh geez, now i have to take care of this problem i caused myself to have! that'll keep my mind from thinking these thoughts haha :)"

this is also how you can have these ridiculous, mystical, or more often just dim-witted responses to nihilism. nihilism simply says that there is no such thing as ontologically real meaning in the world. those who reject nihilism say one of a few things: - that we should reject it, without comment. - that we should choose an alternative that actually does not reject nihilism (usually hedonism) - that we must create our own meaning, but this is already implicit in nihilism, so that cannot be a retort. - that we should simply adopt a standard mode, such as "be nice to people", which doesn't addresss the problem of transcendental meaning. of course we all know mundane meaning is achievable. - that this way of thinking is fatalistic and counterproductive. this is just true, but this response is silent on why that's bad (when asked why it's bad, this person will repeat themselves) - that it's a sign of ill mental health to think this way, which might be the most troubling response. the argument usually implies one's circumstances (partly) determine one's disposition. this is true, but fails to differentiate happiness and sadness on the basis of 'sound mental health'. after all, one can be (and most people are, most of the time) delusionally happy. this is rarely seen as a sign of dysfunction, however, because of the pro-vitalistic bias in mass morality and psychiatry.

as a fun diversion, here are some assorted comments rejecting nihilism, in descending order of popularity (and, antecedently, verbosity), presented with the type of rejection:

There's no point to do anything. But there's also no point to not do anything.

This is saying nothing. Type 1.

Nihilists don't realise that even though existence is meaningless in the eye of the infinite, experience is infinite in meaning to us.

We create our own meaning. Type 3.

Death is inevitable so I might as well live the life I want and be good to others. The only thing that matters is my own experience of life itself in its rawest form, I might never be famous or rich but I will have lived a damn good life rich of experiences and self realization. There never was no grand narrative to begin with and people still did epic shit.

This actually doesn't reject nihilism. Type 2.

You almost could say, if art cures nihilism.... then our purpose is art

Looks like a more subtle version of Type 3, but could be Type 4 if "[making] art" were replaced with 'having kids' or 'being accepted by society'.

Everyone has moments of existential crisis, and ive decided to believe life has no grand meaning, and it doesnt need one, however i dont think human beings are nihilistic and suicidal because they realize life has no meaning, its that they can't make a meaningful one for themselves, and trying to live forcing happiness when you live in a loop is like constantly punching yourself in the face, if everyone had freedom instead of monotonous structure, and false or superficial value in things instead of actual living beings, life would be much better enjoyed and appreciated.

If they aren't depressed because life has no meaning, then it's not an existentialist crisis. They're just feeling bad because their life feels bad.

Sense and meaning are only realized by a connection to others. Everything we do in life, serves the ultimate purpose, to connect with someone. Even existentialistic and nihilistic philosophers didn't write books just for themselves. They wanted to reach out to someone, if only throughout their readers. If you're having problem finding sense in life, you're not taking the life of others seriously.

Easy. Type 4, adopting the standard mode of "be nice to others". Misunderstands the concept of transcendental meaning.