#its about the unfair expectations and the ideology of strength and normality even in the memory of your child | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

martyrbat · 8 months ago

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monstrilio – gerardo sámano córdova

[TEXT: Our son died before the dogwood pushed out its first flower, a bloom so simple with four white petals and a burst of yellow-green in the center—a beginner’s flower. I believed that flower was my son reincarnated. One believes the stupidest things in grief. I spoke to the flower and called it my son. And then I laughed because how ridiculous—how cruel, really—it would have been if my son was reincarnated as something so ephemeral, frail, and beautiful. I killed that first bloom with one swoop of my hand. Dead again, my son could become something else: the shell of a tortoise, strong and ancient, or a hideous fanged creature deep in the sea where he’d see wonders even he could’ve never imagined.]

#its about grief and the way we act in grief #its about the unfair expectations and the ideology of strength and normality even in the memory of your child #your son is not allowed to be fragile and gentle even in death because then he'll always be that fragile in your memory #which twists the tragedy of his death into something that was inevitable and lessens the weight of that loss #and how that pressure of views is reflected upon M's life. going from free and themselves while feeling loved loved #to hiding within themselves to not be a disappointment before they remember who you truly are (an imposter unworthy of love)#which causes M to flee so they can exist without the restraint of whats socially expected which will kill you before you are deemed normal #but okay okay im done. for now.....#Monstrilio #Gerardo Sámano Córdova #cryptcites

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