#its raining and windy and liek just a bit TOO windy to be a good breeze but not so windy that its super unpeasent
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the weight of everything bad in my life has decided to crush me on this nice night
#the bin#its raining and windy and liek just a bit TOO windy to be a good breeze but not so windy that its super unpeasent#just windy enough to make me feel more alive in this weird headspace im stuck inside.#i want to get better. i wanna make friends. i need to have control over my own life#taking everything i have not to cut all my hair off right now#im so close to having a mental breakdown man. i just wanna have a car and live alone and feel like a have actual freedom#i think having a job wpuodnt feel so bad if i actually felt the the time i wasnt working was mine but i dont#i dont know why im having such a hard time today. i havent felt this bad in quite awhile or even like ever tbh#i dont know. i want to make frineds but even that sounds unappealing if it means ill have even less free time to myself#at the same time tho i wanna party. i am a party bitch at heart. but alas i was stuck in the middle of the woods with no contact with#other people for 7 years so. and ofc most places are 21+ so its hard. i want to be able to just go somewhere on a whim but noooo#well. my life will find joy again one day. i hope i can get one if these jobs and be less miserable.
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