#ive been tryin to draw them for weeks. i think my problem was that i was trying to be too detailed

[eyefocusing]

i <3 guys that r birds

[mrpinchy]

It's been probably 10 years since I got really excited about a new fandom, and idk if im just genuinely not interested in what ive seen around or if it's The Depression nullifying everything, could be both I guess overwatch might count because I was excited before people knew what it was, but then once the fandom surged up from the depths of hell I withdrew because holy shit tbh I don't remember fandoms being as openly, intentionally nasty as they are nowadays? maybe fandoms themselves are the reason I don't have the energy to get into new stuff lol anyway I usually get a dose of whatever the New Thing is from my discord channels, good or bad I just don't care about anything lately. sucks because some people around me hyperfixate very suddenly on a new thing and I'm just sitting there like "? ? ?" and then I gotta wait around a couple weeks for their fandom high to pass before I can engage them at all because their interest is 100% New Thing and nothing else. exhausts me just thinking about it because it feels like I'm ALWAYS tryin to catch up to those friends and i just end up being that loser who doesn't understand. I've come to a point where I don't even try anymore, which I guess makes me a bad friend for not being interested in whatever new thing excites them but idk man i don't have the energy to get into anything that fast, idk if I've ever had that much energy to begin with lol. I always want friends to be happy doing whatever they do, but waiting around for them to come back down to earth aaall the time gets lonely I guess. that's not their problem though. i gotta figure shit out for myself. anyway I'm a lowkey person who's seen enough shit and just wants to chill. fandoms are exhausting, I just want to be on the same page as friends around me and I wanna draw shit, i wanna get work done, I don't wanna feel like I'm always playing catch up. that's my goals