#ive seen the other ones but its late ill a'swer tmr

[elinaline]

The prime-numbered ones

Ffs

1. Did I have a good year

Uh mixed I'd say ? I am an engineer now, and I've seen my friends a lot and I feel like I've grown a lot and I know where I'm going and that's pretty fucking cool. Also I haven't felt too lonely this year and that was nice. But I also had to live for 4 months with a roommate that honestly scared me and made me feel not at home in my own apartment, I've had the worst flares of my chronic pain and it's been confirmed I'll have to deal with this shit my whole life, both of my parents are now orphans and this year has all in all felt like an end is coming and not a satisfying one, what with the harmful politics and the 45°C weather this summer.

2. How old did I turn this year ?

23

3. Do I feel my age ?

Uh. I've had to think for a minute about what age I am so I think that's all you need to know (I've stopped counting at 19, truth is I feel like a child most of the time and it's getting very frustrating)

5. My favorite selfie of this year

It's probably not the best one but listen, I was feeling really good, the sun was rising, my hair was purple (ugghhh I miss it.... I think I'm gonna buy some pink so that the few highlights I still have become pink) and I was heading to a convention to meet with my friend, in a cosplay I'm proud of, of a character I love. Let's not talk about the day after that though.

Ok now that's when we see if I'm good at math lol

7. Which fashion trend did I love ?

I am VERY MUCH out of the loop concerning fashion so I'll say vampire just to be safe

11. What album came out and has been on heavy rotation ?

I've listened a lot to Anna Akana's album ? It's not like, groundbreaking, but it's full of pretty songs and emotions and that's enough for me

13. Did an actor or actress catch my attention for the first time this year ?

Uh no I don't... Really pay attention to actors anymore ? Uh the kid from the detective Pikachu movie is fun on twitter tho

OH WAIT uh Ruth Wilson that I'd never seen before I think ? Is absolutely phenomenal as Marisa Coulter in His Dark Materials, she truly blew me away

17. Did I make any big permanent change this year ?

Uh I got my engineering diploma ? That fourth year I'm doing is like a double diploma in another uni so it's quite a big page that I'm turning.

19. What was one nice thing I did for myself ?

I got a purple ombré !! I'd been dreaming about this shit for years. Doing weird stuff to your hair really is cathartic, turns out it's not just like, a funky internet thing

23. Did I get a job ?

No, not yet

29. Did anyone anything make me so mad it stayed with me for days ?

Uhhh not ... Sure

31. Did I fall out of love ?

I uh. Hm.

Well I kinda wish I had ? I wish I could fall for someone who would just leave me in this fucking emotional limbo ? But it wouldn't be fun if things were easy right

Also I don't really wish I had because fuck, those feelings are super new as in I'd never felt like that before, and goddamn do I care for this imbecile. I hope he's healing.

37. If I could have a do over for one thing I did, would I take it ?

Yeah if I could choose another roommate for last summer, I'd do it gladly. I mean she would have been in deep trouble but I truly felt like absolute shit and it took me so long to get back up from this pit she dragged me in. As much as I'm willing to help, I'm not therapist, and no social service either.

41. Did anything happen to me that I was sure wouldn't change me as a person but actually did ?

Uh wow. That's something I'd probably need more than just a year of sitting back on to actually see I think.

43. What have I learned about myself this year that I didn't know before ?

My limit for emotional exhaustion, and for how long can I go while constantly being in pain without turning fucking crazy (that one's like three weeks and then I can't pay attention and I want to cry all the time and I'm constantly this close to a panic attack. I had a fun month of November)

47. If I make resolutions what are my resolutions for 2020 ?

Lmao how fitting that this is the last question for this one

Now that I know what's wrong with my body, I want to take up sports again. I'm going to see a back specialist and talk about what is and is not possible, and I'd love to dance again. I miss dancing and having control over my body and having fun with how flexible I am instead of it just being a source of problems.