#ive watched my dads body eat itself alive. attacking him from the inside out spending days in excrutiating pain...
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I hurt so so bad and the fear of the diagnosis I will get....
#idk what theyre gonna tell me but the top 3 options in my brain are the top worst#i just...at this point i just want to feel like a functioning human again.#but legit the thing it probably is.. there is no easy solution#ive watched my dads body eat itself alive. attacking him from the inside out spending days in excrutiating pain...#and that im probably on my way to that life too... u.u i think he was about this age when he was diagnosed#tho i know a friend and theirs doesnt seem as horrible...their medication actually seems to work for them? idk#idk and even worst is that theres no instant answer and fix#if any of the 3 things i think it is is true...then it starts a longer process of figuring out a treatment...treatment that#itself is harmful.#i need a nap. i need sleep. if i dont then ill continue to feel the pain and cry.#but im stuck sitting here...pretending like im okay. pretending like im working.
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