#janandndbdndnnd this was really bad but hete

[toutorii]

Heartbreak

Connor stared at the flames. Feeling a part of himself leaving his body. He felt numb. He felt nothing but a dull ache as he saw people mourning their loved ones.

Gods dammit. So many kids lost their lives that day.

He looked at the son of Poseidon, who had given up on trying to stay strong and broke down in tears. The daughter of Athena holding him while shedding her own tears.

He turned his head to the young blonde son of Apollo. Who was hanging onto his siblings, all of them crying and muttering things like "why her" and "no no no this isnt real"

His gaze raised to the son of Hades, who was responsible to send all of the dead demigods to the afterlife. He was staring at the flames, but it didnt take a genius to know what he was staring at. After all, she was like a mother to him.

Finally, Conner's sights landed on his older brother, who was holding his significant other in his arms. Katie was a broken mess in Travis' arms.

Connor thought he would feel a surge of anger and resentment at his brother. Knowing that he would be able to go to sleep tonight knowing he would see the love of his life tomorrow. But instead, he felt relieved that his brother could be happy. That he didnt have to go through what he did.

Connor suddenly started having a shortness of breath. The crowd suffocating him. He ran in a frenzy to anyplace other than there, anyplace where he didn't have to see her face, anyplace he didnt have to remember her smile—

He stopped in front of the big house, trembling. The numbness started to fade, and pain. Oh gods the pain, just hit him like a typhoon.

Never again would she smile at him, her slightly crooked teeth and dimples showing. Never again would he be able to stare at her beautiful dark skin and her changing eyes. Never again would he be able to laugh when she cursed at her hair for being so damn stubborn. Never—

No.

He has to stop. He can't think about any of that anymore. If he does. He'll break completely.

So, Connor walked instead to the Hermes cabin, and layed in her bed, pretending she was still there.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

3 days.

It had been 3 days since she had left him.

Or more specifically, 71 hours and 44 minutes.

Connor fiddled with his ring. The same ring that she had exchanged with him. They always knew the possibility of one of them passing before they could get married, so they exchanged promise rings. The ring always made Connor feel proud. That the woman he loved so much loved him as well.

But now. Now. He just feels pain. Pain that she left him in this cruel world. That he was expected to live on and to be strong. He doesnt want to be strong. He wants to be in her arms godsdammit.

He reached into his pocked and pulled out a piece of paper that had been haunting him since he found it.

"Read it after the battle, will you? That means you have to survive to read it you hear?"

He cursed himself for not catching that she never said she would survive to see his reaction.

Taking a shaky breath, he opened the folded paper. He smiled gently at her messy all caps handwriting.

Connor,

If youre reading this—

Actually, fuck that, what is this? An angsty fanfic? Anyways, I already got off track I swear to Hades—

A h e m. So, I guess I'll start with why I'm writing you this.

So its because of my dream. I lied to you. And I'm sorry. But I knew who killed me, I knew where it was, I figured out when it was. All a few years ago actually. It was Luke, in Olympus, during the Battle of Manhattan. And Im so sorry. But I had to die, basically to guilt the fucker into fighting Kronos. But enough about that. Gods theres so many things I wanted to tell you. But I'll keep it short. I love you Connor Stoll. You are my best friend. I cant imagine a world without you. And I know you feel the same. But, you'll have to learn to live without me. And Im so sorry, I wish I could give you everything you ever wanted. But, I cant. And— gods Im crying now— I hate myself for that. I will watch over you though Connor. You wont be alone. Oh, and find happiness. You deserve it. But I want to ask one selfish request. Look after the kids. Especially Will and Nico. Percy and Annie will have eachother for emotional support, but Will and Nico dont. Gods, I hope they all make it out alive. I know its a fools wish but one can wish. And one last thing. (I feel like ive said that alot) Don't stop being you, okay?

Love and best wishes,

Phoebe

Connor smiled, knowing that her "kids" all made it out alive and safe. But also, because he feels like he has some closure. That her death wasn't in vain.

He stared at her name. Burning into his mind so he would never forget. As if he could forget, the woman he loved so dearly.

His voice cracked as he spoke for the first time since the battle.

"I love you too, Phoebe Jacobs"