#january’s crack bunny problem strikes again

[january-summers]

I just made myself giggle, and I’ve decided to share why and make it everyone’s problem >:3c

I kind of have this crack treated seriously AU that’s been floating in the back of my brain on an off for a while and it goes like this:

The alpha team from PFL (plus who ever makes it funnier) end up in a simulation of what we might consider a modern au, or at least a sitcom america suburbia version of a modern au.

How? Uhhhh, they were exploring possible forerunner ruins and Santa’s cousin never finished their system set up so their trials are, uhm, whatever I need them to be.

Anyway, in suburbia land Carolina and York are the newly wed couple who have just moved into the area (or cul de sac, we can put them on a dead end street) which is densely populated by the other Freelancers.

Wyoming and Florida live together.

(So do Washington and Maine because I still ship it damnit!)

They start to realise none of this is real and that they’re trapped but all attempts to forcibly wake others or escape end in escapades.

So on and so forth, and everyone gets to (is forced to by the simulation which makes them think this is real life) use their pre-PFL names.

Now, not all of them have names which we know, some we often fill in with head canons or borrowed headcanons, like I picked up Mattias for Maine from a fic and it stuck in my head, and I like Kathrine (Kathy) or Caroline for Carolina but then I realised I couldn’t remember if I knew if York had a name or not.

And this is why I was giggling:

My brain threw out the option “Newton York.”

How do they get out of there? Either my best adult ass man boy Wash is able to notice some stuff and find Santa’s cousin and ask them to knock it off. Or after a series of hilarious hijinks the street finally makes it to the big local festival which they have to save from disaster (normal sitcom disaster like vodka in the free punch, missing decorations/leading act, a stolen prize winning plant/animal) and the credits roll on their season finale because all they had to do was make it there without anyone dying which almost happened.

Santa’s cousin was just bored and wanted to play Suburbs & Sitcoms, the lamest of D&D variations.

… also I kind of need most of the Freelancers to take a ridiculously long time to realise that Maine’s “housemate” David, is Washington because he doesn’t take his helmet off very often and they were all convinced Wash is at least 7 years younger than he actually is.