#jesper: he did specifical say ��no crime’ but going outside with you crime is to be expected

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

*in jail*

Jesper: So who do we call?

Kaz: Id say Wylan, but I feel safer in jail

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Fire and Rain [K. B.]

Kaz Brekker x inferni!fem!reader

word count: 4k

summary: Kaz discovers that a member of his team is in a Grisha (again)

warnings: here Kaz has no romantic feelings for Inej, it doesn't have a specific time in the canon.

A/N: an anonymous asked for this and I hope whoever you are likes it! I also decided to add a crime to contribute to the plot. It's short, but with love

taglist: @rustyyyyspoonz @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

You were sitting on the roof of The Slat, feeling the night breeze ruffling your skirt and looking at all the lights spread across The Barrel.

You liked to go up there to think or just hang out when everything else got annoying or boring, as was the case that night. Most of them were busy at the club and although you had been invited, you didn't feel like being surrounded by many people, so you had apologized saying that you would return home earlier. And when you arrived, almost like on autopilot, you were done there. God knows how many hours you'd already have in that position.

"Don't be scared" you heard a voice, almost in your ear. Contrary to what they had asked you, you gave a start and almost fell into the void, if it weren't for the arms that held you to keep you in your place "What did I just tell you?" You heard that they claimed you and when you looked around you recognized that the raspy voice was Kaz’s.

"Don't you get tired of doing that?" you hissed, quite annoyed that the same situation always presented itself. You heard him let out a mocking hum and then he sat down next to you, but with his feet facing the inside and not the outside of the building.

"Why do you always come here?" he muttered.

The relationship that existed between him and you was quite curious. Kaz had practically, like most of your friends, rescued you from the streets, offering you a place to stay in exchange for your help in most of his plans. You arrived shortly before Wylan and after Inej and Jesper, but for unknown reasons you had won the affection of the black-haired man faster than any of them, and over the years he was able to open up while he enjoyed your company. Even now, he was looking for you like he didn't for anyone else.

"Is it a crime?" you teased, with a small smile, as you watched his windblown dark hair fall on his forehead. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t enjoy being with him, probably more than with any other crow, because although he was your boss you had also come to find a friend in him.

"If you fall and die, I'll have to pay someone to clean the street" he snorted and you opened your mouth pretending to be outraged, even though you knew he didn't mean it.

You didn't answer anything to that and he didn't want to say anything else, so you guys stayed looking at the horizon for another while. Well, actually you were looking at the horizon while Kaz was looking at you.

He never thought he felt towards someone the way he felt towards you, because you had something that he couldn't explain that he had been captivated from the first time he saw you. It was well known that he was very reserved and that he had a curious collection of traumatic events that had prevented him so far from having any affective relationship beyond the brotherly feeling he experienced for Jesper or Inej, and even some paternity towards Wylan, however, he wouldn’t classify what he felt for you as something of that nature. A clear sign of this was that he was getting physically close to you of his own free will. With you it seemed to be something natural, even pleasant most of the times, and even he himself couldn't understand how he didn't hate physical contact with you. But things went beyond that; Kaz felt like he could be someone else when he was with you. He felt as if in your eyes he was not the ruthless killer that the entire Barrel feared, nor a scared boy, nor a liar, he was just the Kaz who liked to drink tea in the afternoon, who appreciated art in all its expressions, who could openly worry about banal things and the one who wasn’t ashamed to go looking for you for no reason, only with the motivation of not being alone. Maybe that's what it was all about, that Kaz not only didn't want to be alone, but he wanted to be with you.

Although absolutely no one could know this or they would have to be threatened with death.

"Have you thought of an answer about the deal she proposed to us yet?" You murmured and when you turned you noticed that Kaz was standing up a bit in his place to hide where his eyes had been.

"Huh, yeah. I will accept, the money will come in handy"

It turns out that a very wealthy woman had requested your services to recover a jewel from her family that her ex-husband had taken from her when they separated, one that was very valuable and old, but above all with enough sentimental value for the lady willing to pay much of her fortune. Kaz had even scoffed at how feelings could turn into kruge under the right circumstances.

“Have you told the others yet?”

"No. This job is for us. You and me" he said seriously, making you frown in confusion "But the money will be for everyone"

"So I work and the others get the credit?"

“Too many people will draw attention. You are better than the others at these things” he argued “Besides… I heard that this man has many more treasures in his collection than him. If you feel disadvantaged, you can take whatever you want."

"How thoughtful" you mocked "I've always wanted a tiara, like the ones for princesses"

“If he has it, it's yours,” he replied, apparently not understanding your sarcasm, as he shrugged, “It'll be tomorrow night. Get ready”

"Fine," you said in the same way. Your feet danced back and forth, until a hand on your knee made you stop abruptly.

"And please get down from there, you make me nervous"

You tried to think of an intelligent response, but being honest the momentary closeness with the man caught you off guard and left you speechless. He was looking at you with that always angry expression but also with some concern.

"We are crows" you exclaimed, when you were finally able to speak, while you listened to him and moved your legs inside the roof. Kaz straightened up as soon as he detected that you were going to do it, so when you stood up your face was a little lower than his "If I fall, I'll just fly" you laughed, totally nonchalant "Good night, boss" you said goodbye and then walked inside The Slat to try to sleep.

The following night you were ready at the agreed time, just as he had asked you, but with a bad feeling haunting you since you had left home. Kaz had told you that he would stay outside keeping watch, as he wouldn't be of much help to the robbery either way, assuring you that he would only be going in and out; simple.

Of course, once you were there it was hard not to be gawked at everything that guy had. You were very surprised that someone else hadn't already stolen it, but you also concluded that probably most of those pieces were temporary until he found the best buyer and after taking some jewelry that you liked, you concentrated on finding your goal, which was a necklace encrusted with sapphires running the length of the chain, with a centerpiece larger than the rest. You looked around the room, there were all kinds of precious stones, rubies, amethysts, emeralds, set in many different things, but what caught your attention the most, without a doubt, was the thin gold tiara studded with what you hoped were diamonds. Would you be too greedy to want to take that one?

You took it and put it in your bag, but a few seconds later you heard a noise coming from the entrance. In panic you began to search for the necklace you had entered in the first place and barely managed to put it away when a person appeared.

"Hey, you!" the man who appeared to be a bodyguard yelled at you.

A chase broke out and you ran after Kaz hoping he had some plan. You didn't see him in the same place as before and your blood ran cold, but this lasted no more than a brief moment before a gloved hand grabbed yours to pull you away.

You didn't even know how Kaz was running, but you were also impressed by the way he decided to run. You were getting winded with every step and you had to hold on tight to keep from tripping and falling as he pushed people out of the way with his stick. At some point in The Barrel you finally lost sight of the thug and just to avoid taking any chances he threw you into a dark alley, pinning your body against a wall. You didn't even dare to breathe and I could feel your whole body vibrating from the excitement of having run so much, the adrenaline of almost getting caught, and the nerves from having Kaz so close to you. He had been so worried that you two wouldn't be discovered that he didn't notice the horrible burning in his leg or the contact with you until he stopped, but not only was that, but he also experienced again the sensation that had him intrigued from a long time ago. He had never dared to hold your hand, it was something unthinkable under normal circumstances, but now that he had done it even with the gloves he could feel your body temperature.

You were warm, you weren't like the corpses he remembered every time he touched someone else's skin. And it wasn't just your hand that felt that way.

"You're hot," he spoke, making you choke on your own saliva as he stepped away from you.

"Sorry?" you exclaimed, completely stunned by the idea that he was flirting. Where the hell had that come from anyway? You didn't understand what he meant until Kaz reached over to grab your wrist and lift your hand in his direction.

"Your hands, they feel like they burn"

Oh, shit.

To be honest, you were very surprised that with the man's intelligence and deductive abilities, he hadn't discovered your secret before. You and your family found out that you were a grisha tragically when, by accident, you badly burned your younger brother, who luckily and with the help of your mother was able to recover. Your father wasn’t very happy about this, so your powers were always a reason for his repudiation and shame for you.

You grew up mistreated by your father and feared by your brother, with your mother hardly daring to help you change the feelings of either of them, so thinking about proving that you were Inferni was the last thing you wanted.

One day your father just got fed up and threw you out on the streets like a helpless animal, forcing you to beg for weeks until the bastard took pity on you. Those weeks you had hardly any problems with your abilities, using them only when it was a life-or-death situation, so when you joined the crows you developed into more criminal fields that even with that you still considered less dangerous for yourself and others.

Only your family knew about your condition, for you always feared that if anyone else found out about it they would try to kill you or send you to Ravka, and that had worked for you so far. You were never tempted to tell any member of the group, not even as a joke, and you thought that information would accompany you to the grave. But you never counted on Kaz’s cunning.

You couldn't answer his question because of a bullet noise that resounded near you, apparently you hadn't hidden very well from those men who were chasing you and a few seconds later you had to separate from him to start fighting. In the dark you couldn't tell who you were fighting with, although you could feel the blows crashing against most of your body and you were thankful that they hadn't hit you with any of the guns or knives yet. Through it all you could tell that Kaz was having a worse time than you, but he was definitely handling it better.

You knocked out a guy with a good knuckle-burning punch, and thinking it was the last one, you turned to look for your boss, but instead of looking at him you took a punch that knocked you to the ground.

"Bitch," roared a tall man with a knife in his hand, who was on top of you before you could move. For the first time that night you panicked and yelled for help, but no one answered. He was ready to drive the knife through your chest, but you could stop him, using practically all your strength to face him. After struggling for a while, you managed to throw the weapon away and then only he and you were left, however the man wasted no time so he took his hands directly to your neck. It didn't take long for you to lack air and although you tried to free yourself, all effort was useless; it was obvious that he surpassed you in every way. An idea struck you, and hoping that would work, you clasped your hands together to cause a flame good enough to burn him to ashes. Your fingers lit up and you were about to plunge them into his eyes when suddenly a sharp object hit the man's temple, pulling him away from your body and killing him instantly.

You breathed violently in search of the air you had been deprived of and still gripped by fear you looked up to face whoever was there. It was Kaz. His face was smeared with blood and he looked hurt on one side by the hand he had on it, but other than that he was fine.

“Idiots…” he hissed, sneering at the bodies strewn around the alley and spitting up a combination of saliva and blood. You were still struggling a bit to breathe when he offered you a hand to get you up, which you didn't hesitate to take, but as you did so his glove scorched a little on the inside. If Kaz had been suspicious before now he had a verdict on your situation “An Inferni?”

"I don't know what you're talking about" you said in a raspy voice due to the attack, trying to avoid the subject, while you rubbed the palms of your hands on your sides to clean them and also try to control your body temperature. Many times, since you never received training, strong emotions could be triggers for your power.

He didn't answer, he just looked at you with raised eyebrows and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Let's go then" he informed you and you followed him towards the exit, knowing that he would not forget the matter so easily.

The delivery of the necklace was a complete success and the woman burst into tears as soon as she got it back, so you had to go comfort her before she thought of throwing herself into Kaz’s arms. Everyone was very happy with the payment, which you gladly delivered, and the extra things you had stolen for yourself were kept in your drawer for a couple of days so as not to create discord. When you finally reviewed them, you realized how beautiful your new treasures were and you were surprised to remember that you had taken a special little thing for a certain person.

"Come in, Y/N" Kaz's voice said from inside his room, for he could recognize each of you by the sound of your footsteps and the way you knocked on the door. The night was already falling and you guys had taken a break from being in the club.

"Look at this" you exclaimed with a smile from ear to ear. Kaz looked up from the documents he was writing to find you wearing a light orange dress the likes of which he had never seen before, and a tiara that sparkled against the candlelight in the room "Don't I look like royalty?" you joked, making an exaggerated pose.

"I'm glad to see you got something good out of it"

"And I have something for you" you carefully took a jewel from your pocket and maintaining the dramatic air you got on one knee in front of Kaz, which made him back in his chair. He was about to ask what you were doing when you offered him a beautiful silver ring with a square emerald in the middle. He frowned at you and you wished you could figure out what was going through his head.

“What is this?” 

“What does it look like? a ring, of course”

"Do I have to use it?"

"It would be nice" you smiled. The idea that if someone walked in, they would think you were proposing to him amused you greatly "But if you want you can sell it, whatever makes you feel better"

He turned a little in the chair so he could face you and you held your breath when you saw that he was taking off his gloves, because you had never seen Kaz's hands. When he finished you watched him carefully; they were thin and without a single mark that stained their white skin. They could easily be the hands of a Greek marble sculpture.

"Give it to me," he asked you. You deposited the piece in his outstretched palm and before you had time to react he locked your fingers in his hand, almost making you cry out in astonishment. "Are your hands always warm or only when you're nervous?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. He had set you up and you had so much to process that the question had caught you off guard.

"Why do you keep thinking about it?"

“Why hide what you are? All the Grisha seem eager to be recognized”

"Well, not me," you said immediately, getting up from your place to avoid the conversation. You suddenly felt bad for interrupting and you felt ridiculous wearing the crown on your head.

"I've always been terrified of water, you know?" he exclaimed, capturing your attention, but not enough for you to look at him "But fire... I find it fascinating”

The color rose to your cheeks as if the flames within you had literally decided to focus there and you stood very still, fearing that making any movement would expose you.

“I didn’t grow up in that little palace. I'm not a Grisha, I'm just… just me. And I don't want others to see me differently or point at me in the streets. I don't want them to fear me"

"Wouldn't that be an advantage?"

“Even if they are the people I love? My family? Do you think I like living in fear of hurting one of you because I don't know how to control myself?" you said seriously. You were remembering your past and your brother, but he couldn't know it, just as you couldn't know that Kaz was also thinking about his own brother.

"If I hadn't been there to kill that man, would you have used your skills?" he exclaimed. The answer was obvious, so you decided not to answer “You limit your potential just because you are afraid. You would be much better if you trained properly”

"Better for the team?"

“Better for yourself. Inej has her knives, Jesper the guns, how are you going to defend yourself when one of us is not with you?” he was looking at you seriously, but also with a trace of concern. Kaz's intentions in being harsh with you were always for you to improve, they were always looking for your entire well-being and for you to be able to face the world alone “Nina can help you if I ask her. But in the end, it's your decision."

You remained silent and unconsciously began to play with your hands, a little nervous. You had never thought of taking that matter seriously, but now that he was suggesting it you were wondering how good an idea it would be and for a second you considered it a positive thing. A part of you wanted to impress not only Kaz, but your friends as well, and you knew that handling it might help you heal the wounds you were carrying from the past.

“I don't know…” you started to say, hoping that as you did so more words would spring up to complete the sentence, however, they never came because you simply didn't know what to do; no more no less.

He was watching you from his chair with what you thought was a look of disappointment, but actually other ideas were going through the black-haired man's head. As I said before, he had never seen you wearing a dress and although he didn't have a great sense of fashion he knew for a fact that warm colors were your colors. Everything about you was like that to him, long before he even knew that you were literally warm by birth as Inferni and maybe his feelings for you were clouding his perception, but to him you glowed wherever you appeared.

“Would you have preferred growing up in Ravka? Grow up away from all… this?” he said, his voice sounding raspier when he spoke softly.

“Like a Grisha? No. Like a princess? Maybe” you joked to lighten the mood. Kaz rolled his eyes and shook his head at that, but you couldn't deny there was a hint of amusement in his expression.

"Why did you take this for me?" he said, finally paying attention to your gift, apparently with genuine interest.

“I think the color green goes with you. And you like expensive things”

“Gloves are going to cover it up”

"Alright. That way only we will know it's there” you said.

He smiled.

"And you? Do you intend to stay like this for the rest of the week or will you take that off?”

"Right now I'm going to Jesper's room to show off a bit and then I'll probably take it off” 

“It was a good choice” he flattered you and for some reason you thought that he wasn't just referring to jewelry.

You were silent for a few seconds and in this same way you saw the man put the ring on the middle finger of his left hand, and then put both gloves back on. What you said was true, no one else would know that under the leather there was a piece that kept the memory of that night and at the same time the secret that he kept for you.

“I think I should go. I don't want to interrupt, huh, whatever you're doing."

“Good luck with Jesper”

"He is going to die of envy" you laughed and noticed that his eyes were gently observing you "Rest"

Kaz saw you walk out the door and then he thought he might get back to his business, but he couldn't concentrate after your visit. He took off his gloves and looked at your gift for a long time: what did that mean? It was a very pretty piece that fits perfectly, but... What did it symbolize?

Resigned that he wouldn't go any further, even if he wanted to, he left his room and walked up to the roof to get some fresh air, imagining for a moment that even he might find you there. It wasn't like that, so he just stared at the buildings in silence.

Kaz began to think about your friendly smile when you visited him that day, your recurring pranks, worse than others, and your fear of hurting others. For hurting the ones you loved, you said exactly. Did that include him too?

He didn't know how long he was there, silent, his mind only wandering on matters related to you. But, in the end, he was clear that if someone could one day make his frozen heart burn with affection, it would surely be you.

[lilacs-with-lavender]

Slip Away Pt. 1

Read it on Ao3 here!

Kaz Brekker x Inej Ghafa

For my lovely six of crows ladies, you all know who you are. Thanks for making the tale end of 2020 a little less of a nightmare. Merry Christmas!

Summary:

After a long year of putting slaver ships at the bottom of the ocean, Captain Inej Ghafa docks in Ketterdam for the first time in a long while. She tells herself she’s come back to take on some new crew, maybe visit a few old friends. But if Inej is being honest with herself Jesper’s last few letters have had her worrying about a certain bastard of the barrel, one she hasn’t heard from in months. One who’s rasping voice and light touches have haunted her dreams since she left.

WC: 2,556

Warnings: Angst, feels, Crooked Kingdom spoilers!

The first thing she noticed was the familiar smell. The salt of the sea mixed with Ketterdam’s smoke and oil to form the scent that used to greet her every morning she slipped out the window of her room in the Slat. Off to collect some information about the Dime Lions’ plans or the Razor Gulls latest recruits, helping to encourage meaningless gang wars over territory. It was hard not to imagine herself as young and naive when looking back at her time spent with the Dregs, even if things had changed after the Ice Court job, even if now she’d found her true calling.

A small part of her still resented that girl who had obeyed Kaz Brekker without question, without thought. 

The Wraith came into port, making for that berth he had given her all those years ago, and Inej felt the wind whip at her hair as she took in the sight of her city. 

The young woman she was now spent little to no time thinking of Ketterdam’s infamous crime boss, if her thoughts strayed to her past visits to this place she lost her focus. Sailing, looking after her crew, and going after slavers, that’s what mattered. 

Now, with her crew eager to take a reprieve from life on the True Sea, Inej had time to think about him. Them. Both now laden with even more titles than they’d had when she had left last year. Even on the sea, she could never escape the odd mention of him, Ketterdam’s king of the Barrel. 

The shouts of her crew shook the pirate queen from her thoughts, the melody of her battleship’s sails and ropes forming sweet music as they worked to secure The Wraith to her dock. Once the gangplank had been lowered and she’d seen everyone off, Inej hesitated. No matter how many times she returned to Ketterdam her heart always beat this nervous staccato at the prospect of seeing who awaited her at the docks.

She had thought with the years that had gone by she had matured, lost the naive part of her that hoped, longed for a sight of him waiting to greet her. Cane in hand as if not a day had passed since she last saw him. 

Most of the time she was disappointed, this time was no different. 

But when her quick scan of the crowd found only Jesper and Wylan waiting for her she stole herself, a smile lighting up her face as she dropped her bags and embraced them, forcing the disappointment down until it was nothing but a memory.

~*~

Dinner at the Van Eck household was always a good time, and tonight was no exception. Drinks were passed around and Wylan dined with his whole household, a now natural occurrence since he had insisted from the beginning that such a ridiculously large dining table be put to good use. Inej enjoyed herself, dazzling the girls in his employment with tales of her adventures. One, in particular, a sweet-tempered Shu girl who cared for the house’s grounds with her father, took to Inej right away.

“After you rescued those Ravkans did they join your crew?” She asked, in awe of one of The Wraith’s latest conquests, a slave ship that had specialized in Grisha. 

Inej twirled more pasta around her fork, “Well, we give them a choice, they can rejoin their families in Ravka or join our crew. It’s a harrowing experience being taken, most choose to return home.”

The girl wrinkled her nose slightly, “I’d definitely join your crew.” Then seeming to realize what she had said she blushed, golden eyes darting away from Inej’s amused expression.

“I think that’s a terrific idea,” her face lit up like the sun at that but glimpsing the girl’s father eyeing them warily across the table, Inej added, “for when you’re old enough to sail of course.” 

She frowned but nodded after a moment, fixing Inej with a very serious look for a thirteen-year-old and saying solemnly,  “that’s probably for the best, I’m not that good of a swimmer.”

Inej laughed but schooled her face into a serious nod as the girl was led to bed by her father, the rest of the household heading home one by one and leaving the three of them alone. It was a comfortable silence, the food finished and their bellies full, Inej opened her mouth to ask how Jes’s father had been when she caught sight of something on his hand that threw the all-knowing Wraith for a loop. 

Wylan saw where her eyes were fixed and smiled as the realization dawned on her, “That isn’t a… You two aren’t-”

Apparently unable to contain himself any longer Wylan cut her off mid-stutter, “Engaged?”

Inej blinked at Jesper who for once in his life looked shy as he fingered the carved silver band that now graced his ring finger. “You didn’t tell me?!”

He had the audacity to shrug sheepishly, “I could’ve told you in my last letter but we wanted to tell you in person! Nina and Kaz still don’t know!”

Wylan said smugly under his breath then, “Kuwei does though, and he’s not as happy.”

A shocked breath of laughter escaped her then and she smiled as they glanced at each other, the devotion in their eyes so clear it tugged at her heart. “I assume this means my pirate spoils for you both will have to wait until the wedding then.”

Jesper looked at her, stricken, “Wait what- no pirate spoils until the wedding?” 

He turned to Wylan, face somber, “I’m afraid I have to rescind my I do merchling”. 

Wylan rolled his eyes and looked to Inej with an expression that said, can you believe this is the idiot I decided to marry? 

The conversation quickly turned to Jesper’s outrageous wedding plan involving a releasing of crows instead of doves but as the three of them laughed, she couldn’t help but feel lonely, with just the ship, the sea, and her crew for company it was easy to forget Inej didn’t have what they had. Never permanently. Even though she’d tried…

She blinked back the memories of rare sunny days during the summer when she had docked here, receiving notes inviting her to various high-end bakeries and cafes throughout the financial district that she’d never stepped foot in. Refused to remember stolen kisses in alleyways as they walked back, the barest brush of skin-to-skin contact that had her floating through the rest of the day. But inevitably it had ended how it always did, with tense arguments about who was worthy of who, rainy nights that left her in such a state that she left without saying goodbye… 

It was those vivid memories that caused her to mutter, her voice barely above a whisper as she asked, “How’s he been?”

Jesper and Wylan stopped their banter to answer her, bright expressions turning solemn and sad, they pity me, she realized. “We haven’t seen him in two months Inej.”

Her braid swung off her shoulder when she turned to Jesper, brows furrowed, “You promised you’d check on him in your last letter Jes.”

Her old friend sighed, as if weary of dealing with Kaz Brekker’s moods now that he’d found happiness for himself without said bastard of the barrel. “I did, he refused to see us.”

She spluttered slightly, the audacity of this man. “He refused- I’ll go then.”

Wylan and Jesper exchanged a pointed glance and Inej looked between them, “What now?”

Jesper winced as Wylan prodded him, “He sort of told us that he didn’t want to see anyone we brought by… he may have mentioned you specifically.”

Wylan cleared his throat when she opened her mouth to ask why exactly he would say such a thing, explaining quickly. “We, um... we think he was drunk.”

Inej stared at the both of them incredulously, Kaz had done many questionable things while she’d known him but he’d never gotten drunk. 

“How on earth could you tell, I thought you didn’t see him.” 

There it was again, that shared knowing look between the two of them, it was starting to get on her nerves. Eventually, it was Jes who said, “the orders didn’t really sound like a sober man’s words… we may also have heard some rumors a while back, something about Dirtyhands losing focus on the job.” Inej winced, if that had been because he’d been thinking of her… the Kaz Brekker she knew wouldn’t have forgiven himself very easily. Saints, she had been away for too long. 

Rising from the dinner table she lay her napkin down and grabbed her cloak, “I have to go check on him.”

Wylan just sighed and said, “We know.”

~*~

She stuck to the rooftops by habit, their different dips and gullies like old friends as she made for the Slat. Inej was once again struck with the odd feeling of being thrown back in time as she leapt over tiles. Suddenly she was sixteen and heading back to the Slat to report, her day spent eavesdropping and spying for Dirtyhands… for Kaz. 

Now she was almost twenty and as she approached the glowing windows of the Slat her old perch outside of Kaz’s office seemed small. The treasured refuge of a barely healing girl and her crows. 

Inej slipped through the window, breath sucked in now that she had developed the curves and muscle that came with being a woman her age. Standing in the dimly lit room brought back memories she had kept locked away while at sea. Quite nights spent talking, eating, laughing… sharing hesitant touches whenever she visited Ketterdam. But always that reservation in him, the thought he had voiced on several occasions that rankled her. 

Not good enough, not deserving, monster.

Inej still had faith in him, there was no one who held her heart hostage more than Kaz Brekker. Despite all his ridiculous self-loathing that secret part of her still remained. The bit that held onto hopes of a sun drenched future with the bastard of the barrel.

So she felt no small amount of disappointment when she found him face down in papers at his desk, undercut dramatically disheveled. He looked a bit as if he had been tearing at his hair. The mess on his desk made it quite impossible not to guess what he had been doing before passing out. 

Splayed across the worn wood were unfinished papers, all with his coarse yet refined handwriting, all addressed to her. Inej shuddered as she happened across one without her name, addressed only to 

My Treasure,

Someone had been very drunk indeed. 

She turned away before any other words jumped out at her, slipping off her cloak and hanging it on the stand next to his hat. It had only been a few months since she’d last been here but it felt like longer. A quick glance at the rest of her room and it was clear Kaz was still using Per Haskell’s old office for business. This floor was just his rumbled unmade bed and the old desk, on which the letters were splayed. 

Sighing, she reached for him, breath hitching when her bare hands shook his shoulders gently. When there was no response she shook harder.

“Kaz.”

His face was still hidden in his arms but a muffled groan had the corners of her mouth perking up. Her voice turned sing-song as she bid him again,“Wake up Kaz.”

He lifted his head and blinked at her blearily, eyes clearing as she fought not to laugh. His voice sounded tougher than usual when he spoke however, and her stomach did a somersault. “I-Inej?”

He looked so confused, so out of his depth, she really couldn’t help herself.

“Hello, my treasure.”

Kaz blinked twice and Inej would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the way his pale skin flushed as the realization hit him. Before she could purr anymore adoring nicknames he buried his face in his bare hands, an audible, “Fuck”, his only response. 

Inej laughed, spirits rising as she helped him out of the chair, not trusting him to balance on his own two feet. Kaz made no objections surprisingly, only held onto her shoulder as they made their way to his bed. She glanced at his profile, the scars she had memorized were still there, his fading blush and pained expression all synonymous with the boy she had missed on the True Sea. 

Before she could slide out from under his arm to set him on the bed, however, Inej was stopped by a hand at her waist. Her eyes holding his as he leaned towards her, slowly moving both hands up from her hips to her back until they were so close she could tuck her head under his chin if she wanted to. 

Instead she held his gaze, the intensity and longing there no doubt mirroring her own as he leaned closer. Inej held her breath now, gaze fixed on the rafters above them as he pressed a kiss to her neck and settled there pulling her closer by the waist until she was encircled by his arms. 

“I missed you.” The soft admission was spoken just next to her ear, and she shivered, hands curling against the front of his shirt. She doubted it was the alcohol talking now, it was the most honest thing she’d ever heard him say when she came to visit. It was always the game of “What business?” and “Good to see you back Wraith.” Certainly never this.

Inej couldn’t be happier, in fact, she could die right here in his arms and it would be a wonderful way to greet death. It was only when his kisses resumed that she realized he needed sleep. Kaz never moved this fast sober, the boy she knew could spend hours just playing with her hair and be fulfilled. 

Inebriated Kaz, however, didn’t seem to have the same idea and Inej had to push him away. His hands dropped to his sides and when she shoved him further down onto his bed, those bitter coffee eyes that she so loved begining to flutter shut. Before she could turn away from him however he reached a hand for her wrist, not even flinching as he blinked up at her slowly. “Stay… please.”

Now it was her turn to flush, her eyes darting from his bare feet to his loose shirt and rumpled hair. There was no way this would end well, but as always, when it came to Kaz Brekker, Inej’s common sense made itself scarce. 

So she toed off her boots and slipped her knife belt under the bed, walking to the window and door to lock both before laying down beside him. They had never dared share a bed over night before, certainly not after any amount of what they considered intimacy. Usually after such intense touching both of them were quite tired out and more than ready to take a break. Now, Inej could only think of how warm he felt next to her, how right. 

And as she drifted off with her head tucked into the crook of his neck, she couldn’t help but think that this was better than anything the True Sea had to offer. 

~*~

First kanej fic and I’m freaking outtt you guys I hope I did them justice! A ship that gave me the will to live over quarantine deserves only the finest *sobs*

Anyways Merry Christmas all!! Please come say hi on ao3 or reblog this post if you have time & tell me how you liked this!! ~ Love Liles