#jigglychat

[fitemilk]

huns’ abuela is 104 and still kicking. she was also an allied spy in spain during wwii. she migrated to puerto rico after her role was done, to protect her and her family (who still lived in catalonia). she just recently broke her hip, and has had a heart issue in the past, so if y’all can send her some silent love, that would be appreciated ❤️

[fitemilk]

i’m taking an intro glassblowing class on the 19th!!! i’m so excited!!! aND i get to make a piece to take home that day

[fitemilk]

ahhhh just got back from busch gardens and now i have an alchiholic hot chocolate and a fire going. things are good

[fitemilk]

gonna get officially diagnosed next time my psych visit is up (even though it’s been a probable in my chart for years). one of my adhd friends gave me some ritalin to try out and i’ve been halfing them and there’s a marked difference when i take it. i feel like i can think. usually my memory is so dull and i get so upset when i forget things or forget what i’m gonna say. also hyperfocus but it’s on Distressing Stuff when i get bored and that’s also very upsetting.

staring into space, too. not hearing a damn word someone says even though you’re trying to focus SO HARD on what they’re trying to say; it’s just gone. and it’s v upsetting bc i want to experience things with people and hear them talk about something that excites them and i want to absorb that. instead i get shit like “DOODy dOOdy DoO” in my brain or it makes me stumble across a memory that is twelve years old and have just recovered and i’m following that rabbit hole instead

but on meds it’s like. i can focus a little better. i can pay atttention just a little bit better. things make a little bit more sense. just that little edge off is such a relief because my brain feels a little bit less tangled

[fitemilk]

lmao i’m loving tumblr separating the pornbots from real people in my notifs so i can block them all

[fitemilk]

i made so much stuff today friends! i made a heart, an ornament, a bowl, and a rose! people were complimenting me on my color theory 😄

but i also did what no one else did and that was burn myself bc i put my fingers on the metal rod just a liiiiiiitle too high bc i was so into it. shit burns like hell after the adrenaline wears off — i was laughing it off the entire time tho! i have joined the club officially

i can’t wait to get my stuff this week and show y’all!

[fitemilk]

my best hand from cah ln: “a successful interview starts with a firm handshake and ends with (blank).”

i played “a lifetime of sadness”

[fitemilk]

the whole reason me and M felt instantaneous comfort around each other is bc we’re both adhd and we know how each other communicate and think, so it was much easier for us than regular ppl. M is awesome. i’m glad i found such a thoughtful and fun friend this year. we do fun things. we go out, we experience shit with enthusiasm. we’ll drive long distances just to enjoy shit. she makes holiday meals and wants everyone to be included. a very gracious host and friend

[fitemilk]

i learned how to play cribbage with my friends mom in the middle of the night and we got stoned and things are good

[fitemilk]

gonna be using my comfort sideblog @glowbox a bit more! this is a place for comfy stuff and warm inviting aesthetic

[fitemilk]

i keep talking about this hoodie hubs gave me. like it was a genius buy? it has so many pockets and it’s super warm and it has thumbholes so u can extend the sleeves over your palms. i have been complimenting this thing every chance i get. i hate the cold. i hate the cold so much. this allows me to wear short sleeves in the house again, and i don’t have to wear bulky ass sweaters every day

[fitemilk]

but i also love hearing about stuff i give? hubs loved all the warm sweaters i got him (he got bigger round so some of his old stuff doesn’t fit right anymore). he immediately put in the flannel and i was like gosh!!!!

and my bestest pal from up north loved the stuff i sent him (wawa coffee box, 64-count mini-markers, and a goofy shirt from busch gardens) and said they yelled every time they pulled a thing out the box and everything was “thoughtful and original” and i was like yes!!! mission accomplished!!!

i’m so glad i was able to do something for xmas this year u guys even if it was just a lil bit bc i love knowing my closest’s faces light up

[fitemilk]

sry for the extended periods of inactivity pal friends. i have been doing summer things bc summer is the best season and i took all that shit for granted when i lived in florida. also sitting on my ass playing eso (phone originally autocorrected this to rap. that's not a lie either lol)

[fitemilk]

after three decades on this planet i discovered that i’m a shy extrovert with social anxiety and this has made things easier. like. if i didn’t realize that i might have never met m. and m is also a shy extrovert with social anxiety. we both went out of our comfort zones to meet new people and it was so fucking worth it bc her and her mother are beautiful spirits and wonderful people with only good in mind.

we bonded over being slytherin and video games (especially pokemon and zelda). we go out every community day in pokemon go. we went to dc to see a concert she really wanted to go see. we went to the outer banks to catch a regional pokemon and we had fun the entire day. we’ve been places. we enjoy things. and it’s something i’ve been seriously lacking in my friendships, just going out and experiencing shit.

she wants to go to nyc for next new years. i said i was on board. there’s plenty of stories to tell. i don’t want to live an under-experienced life like i have been leading, y’know? cause when dad tells his stories about hitchhiking the continental states in the 70s, it makes me want to go and live too?

like. on new years. i was really wasted and was up late, into the morning. i decided to stay over her house bc obviously. i got so into my feelings that i started crying over my ex-friend and my sister, feeling so sad that i cannot be around them due to how they hurt me + trigger me. and that they’re people i also can’t be around because they have stunted my growth.

they sat with me and heard me out and hugged me, hydrated me, hearing them say it was the right decision, tucked me into a weighted blanket, gave me a xanax so i could fall asleep. and when i woke up i got a brand new pair of jeans. and i could have broke down right on the spot because they’re so thoughtful and wonderful. but i was so thankful, and grateful, that i have these people in my life. this was probably the best thing to have happened in 2018. zero rejection. only love. almost instantaneous comfort. i love them so much

[fitemilk]

i have pals coming over tomorrow and i'm like !!!!! bc they're 2hrs away and i'm the one to drive there so this is exciting to me. no one comes to my place dude

[fitemilk]

me: i want to write my head: this kid genuinely loves pagentry *cuts to kid enthusiastically singing yankee doodle dandy*