#jk i'd actually like a sleep buddy

[skeletoninthemelonland]

I am NOT sleeping tonight. Not like this.

[jellyjays]

MK1 Whiplash AU

yeah, i'll think of anything, won't i....

anyways yes i'm talking about the whiplash with jk simmons. the jazz movie. the parallels between andrew / fletcher and reiko / shao was too much for my brain to handle.

to be truthful, the thought that led to this AU was "reiko would be a fucking incredible jazz drummer i feel it in my soul" and then i thought about whiplash and then i exploded.

so uh. more under the cut?

so to outline this AU:

reiko was orphaned at like 8/9. the foster system is kinda fucked, and he lashes out constantly at the foster parents who try to help him, scared and alone and traumatized from seeing his parents' death. he gets placed in a halfway house for 'behavioral issues' and it just so happens that this halfway house has an old drumkit in the basement. it's somewhat rudimentary, but it has everything you might need.

reiko, with no other option, sits at the thing one night and picks up a pair of sticks laying around. and from then on, that's his outlet. he relies... heavily on it. it's every waking moment that he's not in school or sleeping or eating. he's at the drumset, practicing. playing over the songs in the vinyl collection, playing over the songs in his ipod. every bit of music he can get his hands on, he's playing over it, mimicking what the drummers he can hear do.

the vinyls in the basement are all old jazz. a wide arrangement of it, from blues to latin to bossa nova to new orleans parade, but it's all jazz. that's what he grow up with, on, that's his formative influence. buddy rich, jo jones, art blakely, tony williams-- the drummers on these old vinyls are his heroes.

by the time he's in high school, his 'behavioral issues' have toned down massively-- he is largely fine. as long as you don't separate him from the drumset. he hasn't moved from the halfway house-- protested STRONGLY at being separated from both his drumset and the vinyls. by protested strongly i mean he nearly attacked some people over it.

when he's in high school, he joins the jazz band freshman year. he's in it every year until graduation.

this story starts, though, when a guest clinician-- dr shao kohn-- shows up to work with the band in reiko's sophomore year.

dr kohn teaches at the local community college, but is highly regarded across the country. he's professor of jazz studies and director of the highly prestigious auditioned jazz ensemble at this community college.

upon seeing the INCREDIBLE talent and potential of reiko during that clinic at the high school, shao invites reiko to come join the jazz ensemble at the college. he's young, but if he can make time in his schedule for it next school year, he'd get the chance to really challenge and prove himself.

reiko does. and starting 1st of august that year, he's giving his early mornings and late evenings to rehearsals with this ensemble and individual lessons with dr kohn. he's giving everything he fucking has to this band, and it shows. he's improving at rates he never had before, he's better than most college players doing this for a career.

and shao keeps pushing for more. and reiko keeps striving to fucking give. more, more, better, better.

to be truthful, he would probably be failing all his classes if it weren't for raiden, the only kid other than maybe kung lao who'll put up with him at school. raiden tutors him in the subjects he's falling behind in (all of them really) so he doesn't get held back or something.

all the while, shao pushes reiko for more, better. he's never satisfied, and that is not acceptable in reiko's eyes. he's never had someone he wanted to impress before, an adult he actually cares for the opinion of. and fuck, does he find he cares. he cares a lot. he's trying so hard to meet expectations, he's falling apart at the seams.

i don't know how i'd want this whole thing to end, but. i hate shao and i like happy endings so. shrug.

[roo-bastmoon]

i feel a bit less dumb to know I’m not the only one who don’t understand Tae 😅 I find him super cute but I don’t get him at all! it’s interesting a lot of ppl seem to have a member they quite don’t understand, and for a lot of them it seems to be JK? when I identify so much with him, Tae is the mystery for me lol

There are aspects of Kim Taehyung that I adore so much and want to gush about but am afraid that saying his name too much would be inviting the cult into my blogspace, which I really do not want. I will say that I think Tae has superior taste in music. Tae's latin hips sway to slay. Tae is a talented actor. Tae has an excellent sense of humor. And Tae adores my bias Jimin, so by default I adore him back for his good sense.

But Tae is super-duper clingy and it can really lather up the cult... and by now he has to know it does, so it baffles me how he can tell fans to get out of their imagination one moment and then flirt with his members so heavily the next. Especially certain members who say they monitor everything that happens online.

I always assume the benefit of the doubt and good intentions. Always. All of BTS loves each other and none of them are going to cure crazy fans, so they might as well act in a way that brings them joy. Tae can be super touchy feely but all of his members seem to enjoy his affection (even Yoongi when he protests seems to actually like it). So there's no foul play here. Tae is not a creep and Tae is not insincere. Even if I might think wanting to hold hands with your members before you go to sleep or go to the bathroom with your buddies is a bit weird, it is normal for Tae. So I chalk that stuff and the pranks up to Tae being a theater kid who likes attention. But he baffles me sometimes.

I'm glad you understand JK and are in my orbit, Nonie. If we aren't already friended, I hope you'll consider it someday, because I'd value your insight going forward. Young JK seemed like an open book when he was always touching Jimin and gushing about Jimin and mimicking Jimin and staring at Jimin. Like, I got it, JK likes Jimin. He once ran up a mountain to bring Jimin snow. His feelings were pretty clear. Now he's holding back a lot of that obviously smitten behavior (outside of concerts), and it could be normal maturation out of puppy love. It could just be we aren't getting the same amount of content to see all of it. But sometimes his behavior is so different from my love-language behavior or so different from what I saw in content years ago that I find myself pondering what he really thinks and feels now.

Then again, I have an auditory processing disorder and I'm super introverted. I'm also super sensitive to smells. JK and I have that in common. I've often wondered if he's a bit neurodivergent--what with the fidgeting and clapping and zoning out, the need for stimulation (lights, music, incense), and his hyper-focus on some hobbies or art projects. Sometimes he forgets to text or call members back because he thought he already did so in his mind. It's possible he has ADHD or something. So maybe looking for traditional "tells" about his feelings is not the right approach to understanding him. Maybe what I interpret JK to be blanking out Jimin sometimes is really just JK in his own head. It's clear as day to me that they are cool with each other. But sometimes I get whiplash trying to figure out where JK's head is at.

I'd love it if you'd share with me the ways you identify with JK and what you think he might be thinking and feeling these days (only if you have the time and inclination of course, no pressure)!

[teencopandthesourwolf]

17 QUESTIONS, 17 PEOPLE (an update!)

okay, so when i posted the last version on this blog, it was a years-old one from my main that i'd resurrected to get this going. so now imma do an updated version bc i'm depressed and need distractions woohoo.

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NICKNAMES: so. my given name is lucy, which never really sat right with me, but especially not now i've admitted to myself i'm trans. but i'm also autistic, and change freaks me the fuck out lol. online everybody knows me as CASSIDY (actually my surname) but in meatspace, most folks now call me LU, which is androgynous enough to feel okay, i guess. i came out as non-binary a few years ago (which felt right at the time) and only very recently told select folx i'm actually transmasc. it's complicated, for me, in my head, bc i have kids. anyways, my mum has started calling me LUKE (unprompted, lmfao.) also, my brother—who's also my closest buddy—has always called me DAVID, for reasons known only to himself. maybe he's always known i'm a guy.

ZODIAC: scorpio

HEIGHT: a really tall 5'2"

HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin (but as my tumblr hubbie tylar @but-theres-wolves also said, jk can go fuck herself with a bargepole).

LAST THING I GOOGLED: "gay men sleeping" bc i wanted a pose ref for a destiel sketch i did when i couldn't sleep last night.

FOLLOWERS: 1015

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: toss a coin to your witcher the theme song from the witcher, sung by the delightful joey batey. this is bc SEASON 2 COMES OUT FRIDAY ASFHKDSKKKK so i've had s1 on (again, lol) in the background whilst arting.

HOW MUCH SLEEP DO I GET: i'm bipolar so either like 0-4 hours (when i'm hypomanic) or 13+ when both depressed and/or chronically fucked from, well, my chronic illnesses.

LUCKY NUMBER: a self-assigned no. 6, bc i was aged 6 at the time i heard about lucky numbers and wanted one for myself.

DREAM JOB: fiction editor, props master or illustrator.

WEARING: you wanna know what i'm wearing? you saucy lot... *looks at self or wouldn't have a fucking clue* uh, apparently, a massively baggy white and grey leopard print jumper, boxershorts and a neon yellow beanie over my buzzcut. i ain't leaving the house.

FAVOURITE SONG: as if i could pick just one!? currently it's the lightening strike (what if this storm ends) by snow patrol. like, on fucking permanent repeat rn omg i can't get enough of it. the rest of the songs from that album are shit but MAN, THIS SONG.

FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT: to play? guitar, although my hEDS means it hurts these days. like, A LOT. i don't really want to talk about it or i'll cry. to listen to? a full orchestra. like, fuck, just listen to THIS and tell me you don't wanna fling yourself off of a building (in a good way, like the matrix).

AESTHETIC: 41-year-old-finally-admits-to-self-that-they're-trans-therefore-everything-is-that-missed-youth-teenage-boy-aesthetic. yeah, that. luckily i don't look my age so kinda get away with it—and anyone who thinks not can fuck off anyways :)

FAVOURITE AUTHOR: again, as if i could pick just one. rn it's maggie stiefvater bc i'm reading book two in her dreamers trilogy: mister impossible, the spinoff series from the raven cycle.

FAVOURITE ANIMAL NOISE: cats purring AND corvids! we get crows round our flat all the time and i bloody love them.

SOMETHING RANDOM: this isn't really about me but my brain is foggy so. my ex (but still good buddies) sister-in-law was in a drama/thriller with chlöe sevigny called hit and miss about a trans assassin, and played the wife of vincent regan who was in the movie the 300. this was back in 2012 and chlöe was playing the titular character... these days you'd hope that trans characters get to be played by a trans actors.

now i have to try and claw my way back into the land of the living bc my dad and his wife are travelling over to see me tomorrow and my flat looks like somebody has been fly tipping here (they have; i'm somebody). wish me luck!

tagging, play or nay: fuck, who did i tag last time?! uh let's have @petrichoravellichor @rauko-is-a-free-elf @crack--attack @iscarusholmes @ohhalefire @ltleflrt @mjulmjul @floral-cas @lenaospinka @puhnatsson @halinski @catboyadamparrish @flitwickslittlebrotha @we--are---not--afraid @dilflanlynch @warynerd @permanentlyjaskier @misterstalker and @wilwheaton (promise you're not a last resort buddie, you just popped into my head). plus anybody else who i could be tagging but am forgetting bc i have hardcore brain fog leave me alone. oh and anybody who doesn't recognise this url my main is @all-or-nothing-baby :))

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[booksfromblackwood]

Is anyone still around in this fandom? If so, I thought I’d post the first chapter of an old fic that I re-wrote last year! Let me know if anyone’s still around, and if you’d be interested in reading more! Hope everyone reading this has a great day! :)

Han has left the chat.

Three Days Before The Disappearance

.Sam.Giddings. added josh_wash, ashleeeeey, xXGamerChrisXx, TheOriginalMatt, HanButterfly, BethWash, Mike_Munroe, EmilyD_, and _Jess.Riley_ to the chat.

.Sam.Giddings. named the chat Info For Tomorrow.

.Sam.Giddings.: Hey guys! Just to keep everyone updated on our travel plans for tomorrow! I know it's going to be a long day for everyone so it's vital we stick to the plan and stay in our groups where possible!

ashleeeeey: Okie-doodle!!

TheOriginalMatt: How are you so organised, Sam? You're a lifesaver!

HanButterfly: Hi!!

BethWash: trust sam to be more prepared than those of us organising the trip lol

xXGamerChrisXx: Since when was 'okie-doodle' a thing?

EmilyD_: Thanks Sam x

xXGamerChrisXx: And thanks so much, sam!

.Sam.Giddings.: So quick reminder of everyone's groups:

_Jess.Riley_: I'm stoked!!

ashleeeeey: That's rich coming from someone whose username is xXGamerChrisXx! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash, Chris, Matt, and myself will start the journey first tomorrow morning.

xXGamerChrisXx: You wound me!

Mike_Munroe: Thanks for the plan, Sam!

TheOriginalMatt: Excited to see everyone tomorrow! This is going to be a killer weekend for sure!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Em, Mike, and Jess, you guys are next.

ashleeeeey: You're so dramatic!! XD

Mike_Munroe: Team Two here we go!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Made you smile, though! ;-)

josh_wash: what about us

.Sam.Giddings.: I'm just getting to that!

ashleeeeey: True :)

xXGamerChrisXx: You guys are already there and are therefore irrelevant! :P

.Sam.Giddings.: Han, Beth, and Josh, you guys are there already!

josh_wash: thanks cochise i feel so appreciated

BethWash: lol thanks chris

Mike_Munroe: So, what are we all up to?

BethWash: i found cake

xXGamerChrisXx: Browsing reddit like a nerd XD

ashleeeeey: Listening to Sam's rundown of tomorrow unlike sOmE pEoPlE *coughcoughChris*

EmilyD_: Honestly just packing my final things with Jess. Mike's mostly watching the TV.

xXGamerChrisXx: :-(

.Sam.Giddings.: So, tonight we should all make sure our bags are packed and that we have our passports and tickets ready!! Set your alarms for the right times (depending on your group) and make sure to sleep early too (especially if you're in my group since tomorrow will be an early start for us)!

ashleeeeey: :)

TheOriginalMatt: 5am gang where we AT?

HanButterfly: Beth where are you rn? Because I want some of that cake!!

.Sam.Giddings.: So Team One (myself, Chris, Ash, and Matt), we need to be up by 5:00am and be ready by 5:30am for the taxi to the airport!! Matt and Chris, yours is going to be at Chris' place at 5:24 for some reason so make sure to be ready!!

BethWash: the lodge kitchen bcos where else would there be cake han lol

.Sam.Giddings.: We'll meet up at the airport when we arrive! Once we re-group, we'll check in, probably eat some breakfast whilst we wait, and then catch the 8:30 plane!!

TheOriginalMatt: Sweet!

ashleeeeey: Can't wait! :)

josh_wash: yo matt you surviving the puns

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two - you guys don't have to be up until around 9:00am since your taxi is at 9:20 and then your plane is at 11:30!

HanButterfly: Josh would you like me to save you some cake before we eat it all? :)

EmilyD_: We'll need a little longer than 20 minutes to all get ready but sure x

TheOriginalMatt: Just about! Myself and Chris have mostly been playing on his PS4 so I've been distracting myself with that! XD

josh_wash: yes please!

josh_wash: i feel for ya bro, a whole evening with chris' puns can prove fatal

josh_wash: you die of cringe

Mike_Munroe: Poor ol' Chris XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Once we arrive and get our bags, we need to catch the 2:30pm train and then the 4:20 bus! After that we have to take the 5:40 bus (I sent you guys screenshots of the route yesterday) and get off at Blackwood Pines ready for our hike up the mountain (with a little help from the cable car, of course)!

xXGamerChrisXx: I'm being BULLIED guys :(

ashleeeeey: Aw, poor Chris! :P

josh_wash: jk XD

TheOriginalMatt: I like how Sam's still here typing all we need to know whilst we're talking about cake and puns XD

.Sam.Giddings.: Team Two, you guys need to catch either the 5:30pm or the 6:00pm train depending on when your stuff arrives. After that you'll need to get the 7:50 bus and then the 8:40 bus to Blackwood Pines (you have to specify you want it to stop there or the driver won't stop) before you head up. Remember to lock the cable car station once you get in, Mike!

josh_wash: oh gosh tHE CAKE

Mike_Munroe: Gotcha' Sam!

HanButterfly: No worries, Josh! I managed to save most of it from Beth!

BethWash: rip my chance at a third slice of cake

_Jess.Riley_: Really, thanks Sam! We're all packed and ready to go! Xx

HanButterfly: It's really going to be such an awesome weekend! I can't wait :D

ashleeeeey: Thank you so much for inviting me! I've never been on something like this before!! :D

TheOriginalMatt: Yeah, thank you so much guys! I can't wait either, Han!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Have we got rooms sorted out for the lodge, guys?

BethWash: ash take the plans away from sam so she can have time to relax lol

EmilyD_: I'm with Mike in the room away from everyone like agreed right x

ashleeeeey: I'm trying but she won't let me! XD

HanButterfly: I mean if needs be we can sort out rooms once we're here! If not maybe we just sort out the first night rooms since it'll be fairly late when everyone arrives and then we can adjust them as needed as the trip goes on!

BethWash: lol poor sam will be up all night organising at this rate

.Sam.Giddings.: Sounds good, Han!

Mike_Munroe: Great idea, Hannah!

BethWash: em, yours and mike's room (upstairs guest) may not be ready first night so is it possible for you to share a room with jess til we get a chance to sort it out tomorrow?

EmilyD_: That's fine, hon. Thank you again for the trip and for letting us use the upstairs guest room x

josh_wash: how about for the first night emily and jess share beth's room and then beth sam and han go in hannah's room

josh_wash: mike can go to the small room downstairs if he's alright w/ that and matt can room w/ me

xXGamerChrisXx: Yo dude you forgot ash

ashleeeeey: It's alright, Chris! I can find somewhere!

EmilyD_: Ash you're honestly lovely but I'd kinda' like to be with either Jess or Mike if that's alright xx

ashleeeeey: No problem, Emily! I wouldn't want to intrude! :)

EmilyD_: Knew you'd understand xx

josh_wash: why dont you and ash share a room cochise

xXGamerChrisXx: I thought I was rooming with you and matt?

josh_wash: bro please just think for a minute here

ashleeeeey: I'm not sure.

xXGamerChrisXx: Beth, han, and sam, is there any room with you guys?

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry to be a bother!!

.Sam.Giddings.: Of course you can room with us, Ash! We'd love to have you with us! :)

BethWash: im with sam

HanButterfly: Of course!!

xXGamerChrisXx: Thank you to the only valid washington kids right now!

josh_wash: -_-

xXGamerChrisXx: I see what you're doing, josh. ha ha, we've had our laugh, now please stop before this weekend.

Mike_Munroe: Rough subject, huh?

josh_wash: bro chill you know i was just joking

ashleeeeey: I'm really sorry!! Please don't get upset with each other!

xXGamerChrisXx: No ash it's alright! i promise i'm not actually mad! :-)

josh_wash: he acts mad over text to get his point across but he literally just sits there with a blank expression irl XD

TheOriginalMatt: Is Sam still there, Ash? Haven't heard from her in a while!

TheOriginalMatt: Gotta check up on my plane buddy for tomorrow!!

_Jess.Riley_: Did you guys get window seats or middle isle seats? I got a middle isle and the others got a window!

BethWash: she hasn't drowned in her notes has she lol

TheOriginalMatt: We got two sets of window seats! Though I don't know which of us is actually going to be at the window and which one will be window isle!

ashleeeeey: She's just brushing her teeth! Her mom came in and brought us a load of vegan snacks for the trip tomorrow and now I'm even more excited!!

ashleeeeey: Speaking of which, I'm probably going to head to sleep in a minute! Though I'm not sure how much I'll actually get since I'm so excited!!! :)

xXGamerChrisXx: Sleep well, ash. see you in the morning :-)

ashleeeeey: Night, Chris :)

ashleeeeey has left the chat.

_Jess.Riley_: Well that was cute!

xXGamerChrisXx: People say goodnight to eachother! that's a normal human interaction!

_Jess.Riley_: You know full well it's cute when it's you two

.Sam.Giddings.: Ash told me she logged out so I came to say goodnight!

josh_wash: w/ jess on this one bro

HanButterfly: Goodnight, Sam!

BethWash: night sam!

josh_wash: dont let the bedbugs bite!

TheOriginalMatt: See you bright and early tomorrow!!

.Sam.Giddings.: See you at the airport/lodge, guys!

xXGamerChrisXx: Night!

.Sam.Giddings. has left the chat.

BethWash: its cute because you like eachother chris

xXGamerChrisXx has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Aww, don't tease the poor guy!

TheOriginalMatt: Chris says goodnight, as do I! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow!

BethWash: night guys!

TheOriginalMatt has left the chat.

josh_wash: night!

Mike_Munroe: Make sure to save me a slice of that cake, Han! I gtg!

Mike_Munroe has left the chat.

HanButterfly: Goodnight Mike :)

EmilyD_: We'd best be off too. See you all in the morning.

_Jess.Riley_: Night x

EmilyD_ has left the chat.

BethWash: night

HanButterfly: Goodnight x

josh_wash: night xxxxxxyzqvp

_Jess.Riley_: Ha ha, very funny. Get that one from Chris?

josh_wash: lol night

_Jess.Riley_ has left the chat.

BethWash: PLEASE can i have some more cake, han?

josh_wash: you guys can literally just talk if you wanted

HanButterfly: Nope! Gotta' save some for Mike~

BethWash: you wont shut up about that for the rest of the evening now, will you?

BethWash: lol

HanButterfly: :P

josh_wash: you guys gossip in the kitchen

josh_wash: imma head to bed

BethWash: night bro

HanButterfly: Sleep well!

josh_wash has left the chat.

BethWash: please?

HanButterfly: No :P

BethWash: ugh night sis

HanButterfly: Night, Beth! XD

BethWash has left the chat.

HanButterfly has left the chat.

[mo2k]

😊: You’re sweet. You’ve made me smile before. 🔪: I’d hate to get on your bad side. 🌄: GO TO BED. 💉: Talking to you or seeing you on my dash makes me feel better. 👒: You come off as very friendly! 🌃: I’d like to spend more time talking to you. 😇: Every single interaction we’ve had so far has been positive. 🐱: You’re cute‼︎ 🌱: I’d love to get to know you better. 😃: I love seeing you in my notifications! 😆: You’ve made me laugh out loud before. 😀: I would consider us friends. 🍳: This is an egg in a frying pan! 🎉: I get really happy when I see positive personal posts from you, even when I don’t fully understand the context! 😂: I’m comfortable around you. 🌙: You’re beautiful. 🍓: You remind me of someone… (PAIMON) 🍉: I wish we lived closer to each other. 💕: I love you‼︎ 🌄: GO TO BED.

I hope I ain't too late sissy 💖

i literally almost squeak when i see ur ask- OMG SIS ILY!!!! <3333

1 : aww sis please you're just as sweet! + i swear you make me smile almost every time i see u 🥺💕

2 : you better be... /jk 🤡😂

3 : *pouts* b-but nooooooooo-

4 : same here mwah 😘

5 : ty! u too sis! <3

6 : i'll be sure to drop in ur inbox soon 🤧💕 (prolly continue our convo, yes it's not done yet mwah ha ha ha- sorry pls just ignore-)

7 & 8 : ur so sweet sis imma cry 😭🙏✨

9 & 10 : me too!

11 : i have? oh well it's such an honour- same here actually!

12 : yessssss (and also another of my gossip buddies whoops shhhh 😗🤫)

13 : aha... ya want some fried eggs? 🧐

14 : bahahaha this one cracks me up, thx sis 'm glad 🤣🤣🤣

15 & 16 : likewise 🥺♥️

17 : ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) uhm excuse me? i don't wanna be an emergency food spare me pls? /just kidding LMAO XDDD

18 : ikr? like pls- me too 😭💗

19 : awww ily more <3333

20 : not the double asdfghjkl- my mum just commented how i sleep extra late lately, and in consequence i woke up late, too 😅😀 so gotta speed the bedtime up- it turned back to normal now, otherwise i'd missed my class- but i still wanna go back to sleep tho 🥱😴

ask game