#joel relearning how to parent??

[aziraphalesbookkeeper]

we’ve been hyperfixating on ellie and joel’s relationship (rightfully so) but we’re sleeping on the potential of ellie and tommy. chaotic uncle/niece duo.  

[pareidoliaonthemove]

The Harmonica

Gordon sat at his desk, admiring the newly polished sheen on his gold medal. Although, strictly speaking, gold didn’t need polishing as it doesn’t tarnish like silver or bronze (definitely a perk for first place, in Gordon’s opinion), it didn’t feel right to simply dust it off like he did knick-knacks and souvenirs. An Olympic medal demanded a measure of respect, gold more so than others.

Gently replacing the medal in its rightful place – centre eyelevel – in his display cabinet, Gordon smiled as an incongruous object surrounded by trophies, medals and ribbons caught his eye.

A child’s toy harmonica.

The Tracy brothers had had many musical instruments throughout their lives, often passed through the ranks from Scott to Alan (although Virgil often proved to be a speedbump on that progression, as his love of music and innate need to know how things worked intersected).

Gordon’s harmonicas were an exception to this rule. Gordon, and Gordon alone, played the harmonica.

The one on display was only the first of many.

At first (or indeed, second, third, fourth, fifth ...) glance a harmonica was not what someone expected to find in a swimmer’s trophy cabinet. Trophies, yes. Occasional swimming goggles, yes. But a harmonica? Not so much.

Gordon gently picked up the harmonica, gently dusting down the outside, and bringing it to his mouth. A quick scale slide up and down, and the harmonica sang out, as brassily cheerful and out of tune as the day his first swim coach had given it to him.

In hindsight, it was an ingenious solution to an unusual problem. Coach Saywell had never really been given the credit she deserved.

Gordon had been maybe all of five when Coach had given him this toy, telling him he couldn’t return to training in the pool until he could perform five up and down scale slides on one breath.

A brilliant delaying tactic, and invaluable breath control training for an impatient little boy just starting to recover from severe bronchitis and hell bent on competing in the pool.

Gordon had been ecstatic, he now had something he could do to make him better at swimming, even if he couldn’t actually swim. It was a goal he could work towards. And work he did.

His family had been less impressed.

Surprisingly, it had been Virgil who was first to crack; Scott and John desperately holding him back as Gordon ran to hide behind their parents as Virgil swore the destruction of his tormentor with all the fervour a seven-year-old could summon.

A compromise was quickly found, and Gordon was soon in possession of an actual honest-to-god grownup harmonica.

And music lessons.

Coach may have had a fine bead on how to motivate and support swimmers, but she was tone deaf when it came to musicians.

It turned out their mother had been as tortured as Virgil by the out of tune racket – she just held it better.

It was to the surprise of many that Gordon had stuck with the harmonic, although it was a distant second to swimming; but it had seen him through some of the worst times in his life.

It had been a comfort when he had been sick and unable to swim, a little piece of training he could persist with out of the water.

It has been a piece of home for the twelve months he spent underwater in the bathyscaphe.

It had been one of the few things he could do during the earlier stages of his post-hydrofoil recovery, helping him relearn to control hands, mouth, tongue and lungs.

And it had been with him some of the best times of his life. It was amazing how well people responded to someone whipping out a harmonic and blasting out a few tunes, and so much easier to carry around than a guitar, or piano, say.

Gordon smiled, and gently wiped the mouthpiece clean, before replacing the harmonic back in its place and closing the cabinet.

A quick glance at his clock, and Gordon opened a drawer in his desk, pulling out a smallish leather embossed box. Flipping it open, he pocketed his favourite harmonica, a vintage Hohner Billy Joel Signature diatonic.

He grinned heading out of his room. Johnny was down, and lurking in the lounge, with the rest of the family, and Virgil was due to start his piano practice.

Time to see if their resident vocalist and pianist remembered the old classic Piano Man.

Notes:

Growing up with serious asthma (as in, thank god for modern medicine, or I’d be dead many times over) in the late 80s, one of the favourite proscribed ‘lifestyle treatments’ was breath control. To this end, I was often given a harmonica (it encouraged deep and sustained breathing, apparently) and told to go play it out in the yard.

I had mostly forgotten this, until I recently inherited the beautiful chromatic harmonica my grandparents used to give me to play with.

And it got me thinking, swimming was also a favourite lifestyle treatment for asthmatics (it’s no coincidence so many Olympic swimmers are also life-long asthmatics), so it didn’t seem to be a far stretch to put a harmonic in Gordon’s hands.

I never learned to make anything other than an ungodly racket (I’ve tried online tutorials, but they just don’t work for me), so Gordon got the music I’ve sometimes wished for.

The standard disclaimers, I do not own Thunderbirds, either the Original Series, the Movies (both Supermarionation and Live Action), or the Thunderbirds Are Go Series. (Although I do own copies on DVD.)

I do not do this for money, but for my own (in)sanity and entertainment.

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

I feel like this is… a lot of what the Hellfire Club, and Wayne, mean to Eddie. When the world expected him to be unlovable, Wayne showed Eddie how to love and (more importantly) how to be loved. And in return, Eddie gave that love to others, so they could learn, too.

YOU'RE SO RIGHT😭😭😭😭

Wayne did some work getting Eddie to unlearn everything from the child abuse he suffered at the hands of his 'parents' and to relearn how it SHOULD be. Wayne likely used his anger from what he also suffered in life and channeled it into Eddie (this is based off of Joel's interviews) and that's why Eddie is so so full of love. Because he knows what it's like to live without it and he'd never want anyone to suffer or go through even half of the things he did. He's beautiful.🥺

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Tagged by the totally awesom @ilovesamizayn! Love ya hun! Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you’d like to get to know better.

1) Name: Yinz keep asking me this. FINE. It’s Missy, There, I said it. My name is Missy. “Miss” for short.

2) Nickname: Shanie. 

3) Zodiac: Gemini to a fauly

4) Favorite musicians or groups: Billy Joel, Eagles, Fleetwood Mac. But on most days I listen to showtunes

!5) Favorite sports team: Ugh. I’m not a sports fan. 

.6) Other blogs: @shanie-on-stage I believe I named my other one. I’m only on there occasionally but it’s a broadway side blog,

7) Do you get asks? Very rarely and it makes me sad.

8) How many blogs do you follow? 285

9) Tumblr crushes? I have a huge tumblr crush on @ilovesamizayn but I’m pretty sure she’s already figured that out by now. Also, @baysexuality is someone who I never thought would bother with me and I still can’t believe she follows me. Frankly, I’m star struck!

10) Lucky Numbers: 632. As in McMahon 6:32. The line//quote was said ONCE in 1999 and I haven’t let go of the number since. 

11) What are you wearing right now? A distressed print American flag fitted T and a pair of black pajama pants. And that’s ONLY because I’m currently at the parent’s house. I never wear clothes at home alone. It’s a textile thing.

12) Dream Vacation: The UK and Ireland. Specifically London and Belfast (MUST see the Titanic Museum someday)

13) Dream Car: I don’t really have one but I’ve always appreciated the older style Jeeps for the aesthetic. If I had to guess, it’s a M*A*S*H thing.

14) Favorite Food: Sushi. Holy crap do I love sushi. I could eat sushi every day and be happy. However, then I couldn’t pay rent. Sushi is hella expensive.

15) Drink of choice: Hot drink: Loose Leaf Tea. Cold drink: Whatever is handy, carbonated, and sugar free. I drink a disturbing amount of those Clear Splash type beverages.

16) Instruments:At one point I played trumpet, violin, and piano. I left them all behind though and would likely have to relearn all from scratch by this point except maybe trumpet.

17) Languages: English. Unless I’m dreaming. For some reason, in my dreams, I have a thing of occasionally speaking Chinese when Shane is around. (It isn’t actually Chinese though, just Chinese-sounding double-talk which I always understand as perfect English. It’s weird.

18) Celebrity Crush(es): Shane McMahon, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Stacy Keibler, Ethan Slater and Matt Smith are the big ones. There’s an entire pantheon of lesser faves I’m not getting into though.

19) Random Fact: About me? I have spent most of my life vacillating between witchcraft and Christianity. I was raised Catholic, became a Satanist, then Eclectic Solitaire Pagan, then to Catho-pagan (long story), then back to ES Pagan, finally into Born Again Christian about two years ago. I think I’m gonna stick with this for awhile. It seems to be doing me good. 19b) Random Fact: (Not about me) The richest passenger on the Titanic had a dog named “Kitty” that he brought with him on the voyage. Neither one survived the journey. (I believe. I know Astor didn’t make it I can’t remember about Kitty.)

20) Favorite ecosystem: The woods.

.21) Favorite cat species: I’ve never owned a cat and couldn’t name cat species on a bet. I’m out of time so I’m just gonna tag whomever wants to do this!

[themrfrick-blog]

The Mistakes We Choose to Live With Can Disappear

I always wonder what my next song will be. Not a song that I will write, no I'm terrible at that. A song that will remind me of a traumatic experience in my life. I'm wondering what the next song will be for that. For instance, I fell in love while listening to the Spin Doctors and I had sex while listening to Matchbox Twenty. A very upbeat song like, "Conquerer" by AURORA can bring me to tears because it reminds me of my friends from college that I will most likely not see again. What will the next song be? 

There are so many things that remind me of a different time. I have this little case that looks like it holds a wedding ring, but it holds a toy ladybug on a spring and it reminds me of the few memories of my family before my parents split. I have a squid hat that reminds me of a time of happiness with my family at an amusement park. It is always the weirdest, most useless items that have sentimental value. Others would give me weird looks if they saw my useless items.

I listen to and own these items because I don't want to lose my memories. Even if I were to be diagnosed with a disease like Alzheimer's where my memories start to fade from me, I want to keep the items and listen to the songs in hopes of never losing the memories. I want to have a 'notebook'-like item or items that will keep me in a state of recurring amnesia. I want to be in a healthier state than Allie Calhoun from the Notebook. I don't wish to be in a home for the elderly, but having someone that will make me come out of a state of amnesia would be nice. I want to know what it is like to be blank in the head. I want to know what it feels like to know everything about yourself and your past and then at a snap of a finger, everything is gone. The color fades turning the once colorful world to a black void of nothingness only to be reborn again into a colorful world with relapses of what once was. 

Maybe through the experience of relearning my memories, I could fix all the things that I've done wrong with my past. It is like having a true second chance at something. It would stay as a one-sided non-voluntary "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" where I would forget someone, meet them again and start a relationship anew. I wonder the complexity of completely erasing a person from the mind. Of course, there would be a central point to annihilate in order to get it done, but the remaining smallest memories would still last. Like going to war against another nation. Infiltrate through the small ranks, annihilate the head, but there are still many low ranking soldiers that fought on the opposite side that still exists. Taking out the central source of remembering someone would destroy a huge portion of the memories, but there would still be memories left over. They would exist like the millions of capillaries stemming off of the blood lines running through our bodies. Small, yet when brought all together, forming into a bigger source. There would be an enormous amount of memories that when trying the true second chance, some would come back giving a little insight of the inner thinking of the previous time with the possibility of helping the second chance. If such technological advances existed to the public as they do in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", I believe that I would be one of the people trying to abuse the system. Either putting myself through the process, or drugging a failed relationship partner through it so that I can have another chance; however, the burden of my actions would haunt me until finally giving in and putting myself through the process as well.

With each failed relationship, I'd abuse the system, putting my mind through a constant state of partial amnesia. This new found drug would become my addiction. I'd want to forget so that I could live. Creating new experiences that I could never remember because of the over abuse of the system. Also trying to start anew with an erased person would pose to be difficult depending on the technology used. I didn't think that the technology used in "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless mind was all that great because it required everything that reminded you of a person to be thrown away or burned. This means that the procedure wasn't always successful because one item that reminded yourself of the person you were forgetting could reverse the effects of the procedure if not properly taken care of. 

If you've seen the movie, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" then you probably are having questions now, such as the immediate question of "Why then if you state that the procedure could be reversed by a single item, then why wasn't it reversed on Clem when Joel came to meet her in the bookstore?" The procedure requires that all the items be burned but not the other person to disappear from your life because the smaller items hold memories that are stronger than seeing that person. The person's personality, appearance, and other qualities can change, but the item cannot. For example, the girl that I fell in love with while listening to the Spin Doctors still lives to this day, but her appearance, personality, functionality and other qualities have changed since we were together and since I fell in love. Seeing her in person does spark some memory of what used to be, but it isn't as great as listening to the song "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors. The song reminds me of the exact time and location that I fell in love with her and most memories of the relationship, even the small ones, like riding in a limo to her birthday party, being told 'a tie is a nice addition but tucking in would've been better' by her mother, and remembering the first time that I went to her house during a snowstorm and there were Christmas decorations all along the pathway to her front door. If I were to look at her, I don't know if I could even remember what her face looked like back when we were together because she has changed so much. Talking to my best friends would remind me of the times that she and I spent in Spanish class and our teacher was a little too into our relationship. If I were to undergo this procedure, would I also have to stop being friends with my best friends just because they remind me of her too? 

I'd have to ask myself the entire time before undergoing the procedure, is this what I want? Would I prefer to forget someone and all their memories rather than living with the pain, but I get to remember all the memories, good and bad, of the two of us? I don't know what my answer would be. If the pain was constant and if after years didn't go away, maybe I would. Maybe I'd get drunk enough one night that I'd go 'fuck it' and get the procedure done, with the possible regret in the morning, but how would I know until I saw her again? I'd rather have a friend or family member drug me into a coma and force the procedure on me than have it be my own will to get the procedure because I trust the will and acts of others more than I trust my own. I believe that my friends know me better than I know myself because every day, I am losing a little portion of who I used to be. They might still know who I used to be and my previous self could still live on; however, if it is too far a gap between physical meeting me, the others might forget me and my previous self would be lost as well. Maybe the procedure wouldn't be so bad because I'm already being forgotten by others, why shouldn't I forget them as well? 

If the technological advances in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" were available to the public, I know that I would undergo the procedure, but not to forget someone, but to completely wipe my own mind of everything.