#just as corworkers who banter and support each other through horrible situations

[eco-lite]

Miss @dianeduane did it again with Doctor’s Orders. Here are some choice sillies:

[Text ID: “Good morning,” Spock said. Kirk took a second to flash a grin at Bones; sometimes Spock’s formality could temp you to laugh. “Are you members of the species called the Ornae?” There was another tremor of movement through the layered circles of creatures, and then a sound: something scratchy, not quite the “insect: sound that Kirk had heard before. The Bridge’s Translator circuitry immediately cut in and rendered the sound as oddly high-pitches laughter. One of the creatures in the front circle shook itself all over and, still shaking, moved very, very slowly toward Spock. He didn’t move a muscle. The creature put out a long slender pseudopod, gleaming in the sunshine like suddenly blown glass, and poked Spock’s boot with it. Then it made the scratchy sound again, more laughter, and said a word: “Gotcha!” It jumped back to its place. All the other creatures began to echo the scratch-laughter. Spock looked around him with mild bemusement. “Captain,” he said, “I suspect we have found a kindergarten at recess, or something similar.” End ID]

Spock interacting with baby jello aliens. 🥹

[Text ID: When Spock arrived on the Bridge, McCoy was so utterly glad to see him that he was tempted to jump up and hug him. Instead, he just said, “Spock, your damn scanner’s gone on the fritz again.” Spock favored him with an expression that was skeptical at best. “Doctor,” he said very gently, as if to a brain-damage case, “that hardly seems likely. Nonetheless, I will run some checks.” End ID]

This was just cute. It takes a lot of emotional turmoil for Bones to want to hug Spock. And this was only the beginning lol.

[Text ID: “And by the way,” McCoy added, “can I at least have a restroom break?” Spock nodded. “Give the conn to Lieutenant DeLeon,” he said, “but don’t be away too long. Though,” he added, from just inside the turbolift, I believe the Captain would say, ‘You should have gone before we left.’” End ID]

Peak Spones dynamic.

[Text ID: “And see if you can get Uhura away from her business downstairs. I need some advise.” “Right, Doctor.” End ID]

It just made me really happy that the first person Bones wanted to strategize with and ask for advise was Uhura. She’s such an underrated and underutilized character, but she had a lot of great moments in this book.

[Text ID: “We’re going to have a department heads’ meeting in a while, I guess,” McCoy said to Spock, “and record it and send it along to Starfleet.” “I would not do that,” Spock said, sitting down at his station and dropping a couple of tricorder tapes into one of its reader ports. “Call the meeting, certainly. We must intensify our search for the Captain. But Starfleet does not require the details of our decision-making process. Also,” and there was a slight glint of humor in his eye as he glanced over his shoulder at McCoy, “there’s no point in giving the, ah, bureaucratic elements at Starfleet any more insight than necessary into how we arrive at our decisions.” “How I arrive at my command decisions, you mean,” McCoy said. Spock nodded. “The bureaucratic mind,” he said, “will find some way to meddle if at all possible. If faced with a decision-making process that they find too…original…” “Too intelligent, you mean. Or too consultative.” “Precisely. Under such circumstances, you could find yourself issued orders which you would be required to carry out, but which would be most…distasteful.” “You mean stupid.” “I believe I said that,” Spock said. “Though perhaps not in so many words.” End ID]

Bashing Starfleet party! 🥳

[Text ID: “We have no diplomatic recourses,” said Spock, “since as yet there is no diplomatic agreement. Starfleet will doubtless suggest some kind of display of force.” “They can just go to bed early on that one,” McCoy snapped. “These people barely understand the concept of death or injury, as far as I can figure out. I don’t want to be the one to teach them what it means.” End ID]

Bashing Starfleet pt. 2, plus I admire Bones’ compassion.

[Text ID: Spock’s expression was calm, but there was warning hidden in it. “If we are successful in finding the Captain,” he said, “Starfleet may well forgive you that…eventually. If not…your career in Starfleet may be short.” “That’s as may be,” McCoy said. “I have oaths to follow, the same as they do. The discipline of the service be damned.” He paused, and then said, “We have stopped recording this briefing, haven’t we?” “No one will hear,” Spock said, “what was certainly a casual remark made after the meeting proper.” He looked at Uhura. “Of course not,” she said to Spock. “I’ll just look around and see if I can’t find my sewing scissors.” End ID]

Cover up the evidence! I love them so much.

[Text ID: Two pages. The first page says: “—we thought we would stop and investigate.” Now, McCoy though, he waits to see if I tell him to get out of here. “Well, you’re more than welcome here, Commander,” he said. “Four planets, no waiting. Make yourself right at home.” Commander Kaiev actually blinked. McCoy had a hard time keeping his face straight, but managed it somehow. Now he lets us know that he would have anyway, he thought. “So we have done,” said Kaiev, with a sort of air of jovial threat that McCoy had to admire. “We shall send down landing parties to investigate the planet.” “Well, go ahead,” McCoy said. “But I should warn you, some things are pretty weird down there. We’ve lost some people in odd ways. Trees eating them, mostly.” The Bridge crew all looked at McCoy in fascination. He ignored them. “But don’t mind that,” McCoy said jovially. “You go ahead down there, have a good time. Our people will show you around, if you like.” An expression of suspicion did not so much creep across Kaiev’s face as run across it, shouting and waving placards saying I don’t believe you, you’re up to something! McCoy was delighted, and kept his own face straight. “No thank you, MahKhoi,” Kaiev said. “We will manage our own investigation of this planet. Shall we speak further on this?”Or in other words, ‘Wanna fight?’ “No, heavens, why should we?” McCoy said, waving a hand languidly. “You go right ahead. But listen,” he added, “you watch out for those trees, now. And the rocks.” He leaned forward a little as he said the word, and waggled his eyebrows at the Klingon. The second page says: “I must ask you. What has happened to Kirk?” McCoy paused for a moment, then sighed heavily and leaned back in the center seat again, looking down. “I killed him,” he said. “In a duel. Very sad.” And he looked up then, and gave Kaiev a long cool look from under his brows. “I do so hate killing my friends,” he said. Kaiev looked at him for a long moment. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, McCoy sighed again and said, quite cheerfully, “At any rate, Commander, if we can help you with any little thing, don’t hesitate to call. Enterprise out.” And he glanced over at Uhura, who killed the circuit. The screen went back to showing starfield again. There was a rather stunned silence on the Bridge. Then the laughter broke out. McCoy let it go on for a few moments, then said, “All right, everybody, hush up now!” They got quiet. “That should give us a few minutes to breathe,” he said, “since they’ll now think the Enterprise is being commanded by a raving loon. Perhaps even a homicidal raving loon, which would be even better.” “I think you are wise,” Spock said, “not to let them know that the Captain is missing. They would certainly perceive that as a weakness, perhaps a fatal one, on our part.” “Spock,” McCoy said, smiling a bit, “I may be just an old country doctor, but I know enough not to tell my patients that I don’t know how to cure them. Why, half of them cure themselves just because they think I’m doing it. Saves me no end of trouble, and it’s cheaper than placebos.” End ID]

Please witness the proper way to deal with Klingons. Every interaction between Bones and Kaiev is so funny.

[Text ID: “All right,” McCoy said. He sighed. “Ladies and gentlemen and others, I would prefer nothing untoward to happen in the next fifteen minutes. End ID]

And finally, I just really appreciate Bones being gender-inclusive.

Give this book a read, y’all!