#just commected the pun in the name oh my god

[bandofchimeras]

okay a longish deepdive about PDs & Succession.

CONTAINS SPOILERS

some people leave no space for curiosity. no interest in other's inner worlds and constant projections of self into quieter people's energetic life, leaves those other people exhausted and unable to develop a real desire to get to know more.

I can be like this, at my most defensive and manic.

But being around other people like this for years has worked like sandpaper on me. Because if you both project yourselves at the other person with the same intensity the friction starts to escalate. Or you build on one another until sometimes you start sharing a psychosis. So to keep the peace you can try to be agreeable, validating, and listen as much as you can.

However soon the whole thing drains you and you realize you're being talked at, performed for, that this is not a relationship of equals, you have become an audience to the self-performance of this person, and your criticism or praise is largely irrelevant except insofar as they take it as helpful feedback for self development.

I do suppose this is the kind of person you could describe as a narcissist. But understanding the wounds, anxiety and beliefs at the core of this problem from having been In It for a long time, I don't feel like that label does justice to what is happening in relationship. Personality disorders exist mostly in the presence of other people. In early remission, people with BPD will share in forums how they feel okay now, so long as they are alone. other people trigger the defensive formations of the self that comprise the "disorder."

People who do this often are highly anxious and traumatized. The fear at the core of it is somatic. It is fear of being erased, silenced, destroyed, or fear of one's own power, of the shadow...many things but what runs the whole thing is fear, paranoia, distrust.

That's what struck me most about forums for people w NPD. most threads were talking about trust, of God, of the universe, of other people. The lack of it.

I think the pathologization of these personality formations has had net negative results but also aided us all in understanding a bit more how not to get lost in sick people's dreams and control.

Narcissism & personality disorders aren't scary crazy unreal spectacle things all the time. They're human suffering from spiritual misunderstanding and emotional damage or neglect. In fact I think entitled narcissism comes from neglect of emotional guidance (teaching limits, boundaries, respect, fairness) and wounded/defensive narcissism comes from abuse (berating, controlling, wounding child's self image, emotional manipulation, etc). And so they manifest a bit differently.

But I digress - because narcissistic people aren't just fun blorbo bugs to study under a microscope. A lot of people who do good in the world are still impossible to get to know and love on an intimate level out of glitches and destruction in the formation of their person good.

Succession, as a show, handles the interlinking clusterfuck of dysfunctionality that leads to these disorders by putting the characters psychosexual motivations on full display - it's one of the best written shows I've encountered yet, for character studies. I joked that I was "downloading Roman Roy's personality to become insufferable."

In particular his form of psychopathy compelled me the most because he clearly understands more than many people around him, he's just abnegated his own power to the point he is essentially neutered, castrated, helpless before the will of his father or the almighty dollar. However he still pays attention sometimes, listens. Unlike Kendall's manic depressive swinging that passes through reality entirely into constructed ideas of who he could be and what he could do, Roman knows what they are, what he is, even though he hates himself, and does not actually care about the harm the family causes....or does he? In some way he copes with extreme guilt.

The thing about Kendall that's tragic is he does, sometimes, try so hard. But he's trying. He never does it, not really. He doesn't connect with the lower class people he hangs out with. He thinks he does. But he never stops to check in, to really listen.

That's why he becomes most like his father in the megalomania, the abusive manipulation, the paranoia, the entitlement. He never gets checked all the way. Until, *SPOILER ALERT*

his siblings do it. What a poetic resolve.

My point is, studying the blorbos of the Roy family et al provided me some real insight into my own dysfunctional family, people I know and attract into my life, and gave me much food for thought about yes men, complicity and what it means to have a spine.

Yes men win, in the end, but they have to sell their souls so completely you can almost watch the personhood leave their eyes.

A refusal to intervene or accept responsibility for choices...what the Roy siblings demonstrate over and over no matter how many times they try to make things work, is what happens when the fundamental core of a person is neglected and trampled on. They refuse to take responsibility for themselves, their own personhood and choices.

Kendall blames systems and his family. He ignores his own obligations and failings by trying to take down or own the family legacy. He's a mercenary, out for hire. He wants to care but does not have the mechanism of accountability installed in him. He hides his crimes like a child hiding an ice cream spoon from a controlling parent (and God do I relate).

Roman blames himself, or no one. For him it's all a tragedy and a farce, he is the sharp tongued commentator. He gets what he wants no matter what other people say or do, or tries to. His awareness of how little self respect he carries himself with is...questionable.

Shiv does not show who she blames. She plays as if she is smarter than she is, because she wants respect from men who will never, ever, give it to her. She thinks she can get it. Or tolerate enough to get something. Shiv almost gets it but her controlling and undermining of her brothers is a very older sister undoing. She tries to square with people, her father, Matsson, even Tom. But because she is lying to herself and everyone about what she wants, nothing ever sticks.

Connor gets it right on the nose calling all his siblings love hungry. He knows, he says himself he has learned to survive without love. He knows he and his family are pathetic. He still puts on a show. Maybe he half believes his own show. He fakes everything to the and demonstrate his worth but under that knows it's a lie. Willa, presidency, all of it is a show to get people in his camp, to scrape up some kind of approval in lieu of genuine affection. As his outburst and praise at the gala demonstrates, whether or not he wants anything to do with you depends on your performance/to him/.

It's all ratings, baby, especially for the males of the Roy family. For the women it's proximity to power.

Anyways Kendall does call his father out as a grandoise psychopathic narcissist so there's that. But my point is that personality disorders are disorders of relationship, and individualizing Logan Roy's particular "pathogen" as Gerri calls it, distracts from the larger picture, the picture*SPOILER* Ewan tries at the funeral to convey with grace:

"my brother brought out a meanness in men."

The meanness is already there, in all of us. Ewan admits it's in him, too, but he still tries. Some people stop trying.

That part hit me hard. Because I think over the show you can track when Kendall stops trying. He almost gets it, that "the poison drips down" - it's not trickle down economics, it's a IV drip of toxins being fed into the veins of ATN viewers.

My thesis here is not very mindblowing: American political culture disorders our personalities. It is built off personality disorders.

No one in this show or in it's real life counterparts, are really happy. The only happy moments we see with the Roys...maybe "a meal fit for a king"? Goofing around together. Even in that, they are still being cruel, but their target is a shared outer target.

I loved those scenes, brief as they were, where the siblings were a united front against the big bad world, with their plans and their cool sunglasses and planes - you almost root for them. Almost. And then - the truth breaks it all to pieces, again.

The truth of who they are: not serious people.

Serious people, they think, watching their father do shit, do shit. Serious people own stuff and lord it over others. They don't remember the work their father did put in, the soul he sacrificed, to get to the top, they don't connect the dots of all the people working for them silently in the background at all times, how those people make the world go round, even if they feel like THEY do.

Being a serious person, finding joy, is accessible to every human being in the right context - the context to discover a purpose, a love, a passion - to stop merely taking and believe something good can come out of your self. The show is a tragedy not because wahhh poor rich people, it's a tragedy because it reflects a deep contortion in our own shredded social fabric.

I could say so much more but I have to go pack and make a tart and do laundry. If you read this to the end, thanks for stickin with it!