#just need this optimism right now bc I'm slipping out

[galina]

When things are dark I try to remind myself there's there's so much love and kindness and hope. And people who can see each other, really see each other, and they're bright, reflecting back, shining. There's change and it starts at the very edges, coming slowly into view, becoming bright and clear.

[mitochondriencocktail]

50 for the kiss request, and bojere bc just obliterate me at this point /pos

ok u asked for this... (for extra atmosphere... this is the song I pictured.)

50 ...in love

--

The coffee table had been shoved to the far reaches of the cramped living room, only the checkered carpet remaining in the middle. It was far from ideal for dance practice, but Jere had insisted it would be fine. It became quickly apparent that they wouldn't need much space for the skill level they were working at.

"No, step less wide. You're looking boxy."

Jere rolled his eyes, but acquiesced, shortening the width of his side stepping.

Bojan hit play on the YouTube video that was embarrassingly titled How to Learn a Wedding Dance in 5 Steps. It wasn't that Bojan or Jere didn't have any experience, but it'd come to light that when pressed to dance in a formal setting--face to face of all things--it seemed all of their natural rhythm went out the window. How the fuck that worked baffled Bojan. They were two musicians, both of whom danced entirely fine under any other circumstances, but suddenly with their wedding day looming, that was all moot.

"Okay, next we're going to learn how to separate!" the perky dance instructor said through the speakers of Jere's MacBook. Onscreen, she and her partner talked about how the lead should use their body weight to guide, not shove, the follow.

It was the fifth time they'd watched this.

Bojan's elbows jerked awkwardly out, sending Jere springing back.

"Bojan, loosen up," Jere pinged, pulling himself back in close.

"I'm loose! I'm so loose right now."

"That not something someone loose would say."

"Why am I leading?" Bojan blurted out.

"You taller..." Jere huffed. "Plus I not want pressure of it," he cackled.

Bojan sighed. Alright, fine, if Jere wanted Bojan to lead, then he would lead.

"Okay, let's start from the top." Bojan disentangled himself from Jere and shook out his arms and legs, pushing away the anxiously gnashing thoughts of all those eyes of friends and loved ones watching them awkwardly shuffle around a too-big dance floor in the middle of some ballroom that Bojan's family had insisted on. It didn't have to be perfect. It just had to be them on the big day.

Jere paused the video and pulled up their song, a dreamy, melodic slow dance with lots of reverb and sappy sentiment.

A deep breath as the beginning chords echoed through the living room.

Bojan held out his hand, Jere's slipping effortlessly into it. Their eyes met and Bojan let the music wash over him, leading Jere out to the carpet with intense focus, timing it just so to add a twirl before getting into basic position. From here, his lips lined up perfectly with the crown of Jere's head.

As the song continued on, their feet step-tapping in beat, the tension eased from Bojan's body, Jere's infectious optimism about the whole thing bleeding out between them. The weight of every step filled Bojan's heart with a pleasant humming; the gentle strumming and smooth voice eroding away the rough edges of Bojan's frustration like a river over stone.

Using his body weight, he led Jere out into a separation and then guided him back in for a spin, repeating it a few times throughout the song, each one more playful than the last until Jere was bubbling with giggles.

As the song came to a close, Bojan was grinning, soft and gooey like caramel. He dipped Jere down with flourish and the song faded into the quiet of the living room, only their breath audible.

"Sorry, I know I can be kinda fussy," Bojan admitted with a quiet chuckle.

Jere kissed his nose.

"Yes, but I love."

"I hope so," Bojan laughed, "we're getting married in two months."

Jere's eyes widened almost imperceptibly.

"We are," he beamed.

In that smile, a distillation of a million shared moments; tentative beginnings, heartfelt middles, and a sprawling future with untapped possibilities. It shouldn't have been possible to cram every shared meal and quiet evening and midday walk and grocery haul and international flight and scenic view and cherished 'get home safe' text and silly fight and steadfast comfort into a single look, but Jere was always defying the odds. Achieving the impossible.

Bojan brought Jere up from the dip and kissed him.