#just plain tw in general i am tired of being silent

[natblda]

tw ;; rp abuse

reivcn

@alaskaslayer 

 @kennedybtvs 

 @tylerlockwoof 

 @sunnydalescoobies

i wasn’t going to do this. but i’m doing this. the next time you tell someone i was in love with you and talk shit about me or my muses in any fandom...check yourself. because i still have EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE, EVERY CHAT, EVERY GODDAMN THING BACKED UP AND DOZENS UPON DOZENS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEARNED STRAIGHT FROM YOU HOW TOXIC AND ABUSIVE YOU ARE...ALL ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT THE HELP FROM ME I ASSURE YOU. YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE YOU TALKED SHIT ABOUT, I have all of that documented too, and you are interacting with them under a different alias. the number of messages i have received unprompted from people coming to me about the LIES YOU SPEW OUT, IS A MORE ABSURD NUMBER THAN YOU ARE A PERSON. 

YOU are the reason you have NOTHING but your delusions, and NOTHING is keeping me from putting every single message i have on a google document because you are literally a predator to this community. i wasn’t going to do this, i really wasn’t. because the fact of the matter is...for someone who’s so ‘in love with you right’....you mean nothing to me. you DID THAT. not only did you abuse and gaslight me for YEARS, you abused my muse, you slut shamed her for having other verses, you called her a cheater for seeing other people, you threw in my face and her face nearly every goddamn time that luna interacted with anyone else ...that I QUOTE “RAVEN DOESN’T NEED OTHER VERSES JUST LUNA, WHY DOES LUNA NEED MORE THAN RAVEN, WHY IS RAVEN NOT ENOUGH, LUNA IS ENOUGH FOR RAVEN. WHERE IS RAVEN IN THIS REPLY? TELL THE OTHER MUSE RAVEN IS THERE SO THAT THEY KNOW LUNA IS TAKEN.” 

like NO. how many times i said...get raven out there, let her explore, let her meet other people? it’s GOOD FOR HER? IT’S GREAT FOR MUSES? and you flipped at ME with that same gaslighting again. RAVEN ONLY WANTS LUNA. IT’S LUNA WHO CLEARLY NEEDS MORE. like honestly. the emotional abuse that you put me through and my muse through, to the point where i almost quit writing her? to the point where luna couldn’t even look at your raven without seeing YOUR NASTY BEHAVIOR BEHIND HER VOICE. and you would say...i cant interact with others bc no one in this fandom likes my raven, they all blocked me. BECAUSE OF YOU. BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT, AND DON’T WORRY, I HAVE YOUR MESSAGES SAYING THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT AS A MEANS TO MAKE ME GO ‘awe poor you, you’re just misunderstood. they just know you like i do’. but the truth is? THEY DON’T KNOW YOU THE WAY I DO AND THE WAY EVERY PERSON WHO BLOCKED YOU DOES. POOR ANYONE WHO COMES INTO CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A PREDATOR AND A LEECH IN THE RPC.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CALL OUT POSTS. BUT I DO BELIEVE IN SAYING MY PIECE WHEN I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND SUBJECTED TO YOU FOR YEARS UPON YEARS. and you have the audacity to talk shit about me saying that I WAS THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED THINGS TO YOU? yeah that sounds familiar, bc everyone in the world abuses you, you are a victim of everything. literally everything. the number of times i heard you say “not to be racist but...” and then proceeded to spit something racist out of your white mouth.  the number of times you were transphobic, hell...i don’t have to mention that, most people saw that on the dash because you outed yourself with ‘in 2012 people like me could use any fc we wanted with any gender orientation and it was fine so i can still do that!” like..no. i let slide so much that i should NEVER HAVE ALLOWED. I BIT MY TONGUE BC I THOUGHT...maybe she just...needs to be educated on these things, maybe she doesn’t know what she’s saying, maybe it’s just not registering how to be an honest and genuine person. like i get it, people bicker, they have misunderstandings, but at least have the goddamn audacity to be straight forward with it. 

i learned today from a few people...that you accused ME of doing these things instantly upon meeting these people, not even knowing them, and you so readily spilled lies about me. and i figured out why...because you don’t have control of me anymore, you don’t control my muse anymore, because i cut the strings and i cut you out and i kept moving forward, i kept going on, happy...without you. interacting with raven’s who ARE RAVEN, NOT YOU and your narrative behind her face and name. 

the hours i devoted to you, the hours, days, weeks, months, stating over and over again how I WAS YOUR FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, AND YOU TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES TO BAIT ME. let’s see if you remember this. 

“i told my friends you’re my girlfriend i hope that’s okay.” 

and me...going, i mean we’re friends, i am not in the country, but assuming it was an issue with your self-esteem i said...i guess that’s fine but we’re friends, we probably hang out as much as gfs do but we ARE NOT. and then you turned around with...now you’re giving me mixed signals are we girlfriends? LIKE YOU LIED TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU STRAIGHT UP KNOW WE WEREN’T , hence the ‘i told my friends you’re my girlfriends’ like you KNEW WE WEREN’T, SO YOU ALREADY KNEW THE GODDAMN ANSWER WAS NO, BUT YOUR DELUSIONS LITERALLY DONT GET IT AND SO YOU ATTEMPT TO BAIT. i’m sorry that after 4+ years sitting on skype every day i can not imagine being with someone i watched eat more out of their nose than of actual food. that was just the tip of the iceberg because then we’re going right back into all of the toxic nightmare you put me through, all the shaming you put luna through., and that carried into threads most of the time, luna having to look at raven and feel like a cheater. like you know what, like i said i wasn’t going to do this, but having just met some amazing rpers i am so blessed to be able to write with and hearing the kind of lies you spilled about me and this whole situation.

i’m going to go to the time when luna was single verse, single shipped with your raven, and when she would interact with FRIENDS, she was slapped for it, i was slapped for it. the time when you tried to pimp raven out in the IMs of one of our mutuals and then that mutual came to me and went...look, im not comfortable, my muse isn’t interested, i’m trying to respect the fact that you guys are single shipped but basically rowan is trying to get my muse to have sex with her. and i went...news to me, i thought we were single shipped, but from this day on...it’s best that we are not. because you know what, considering how many times luna had already been shamed for having friends at that point, to find out that you were ACTUALLY DOING what you were shaming luna for doing, when luna wasn’t doing it? pissed me off and completely broke my rp partner trust in you. and you were only pissed because you got caught, bc someone else was a genuine and respectful person enough to tell me about it. after all the shaming you threw at luna and it was YOU breaking the single ship status. NOT ME. and from that day forth i guess you know what they say...faithlessness breeds a guilty conscience.

i DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE PROTECTION FROM ME. A PREDATOR DOES NOT GET TO SIT BY AND SAY...I’M BEING BULLIED. and i know that’s what you’re going to say, i know because you’re a victim of everything and you depend on my silence and me protecting you bc i cared about the muses. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY SILENCE. I WILL NOT BE SILENT TO PROTECT YOU. I WILL PROTECT MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUBJECTED TO YOU, EVERYONE WHO WILL EVER HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING SUBJECTED TO YOU, AND WHILE I DO THAT, I WILL BE MAKING THAT GOOGLE DOC.  

SO...ROWAN, HIDING UNDER THE ALIAS OF CASS, [ an alias that she used in the past to make it seem like she had backup during an episode of her toxic behavior. yes. she created the alias and a clarke blog and conversed back and forth with herself on the dash so that it looked like she had someone backing her up when she was being passive aggressive on the dash ] she will likely find a dozen other alias to go by. i haven’t had to change mine, i haven’t had to hide, or move blogs, or switch anything just to get people to NOT KNOW WHO I AM, to trick people into interacting with me so that they think i’m someone else. she relied on my silence, she depended on me caring about the ship too much to speak up and defend myself or others, but i am done being silent. 

[gaperezmakes]

Original Fic Fest Day 1 – Characters (Iblan Light)

It is Day 1 of @originalficfest! Today’s prompt is about characters. As I said in my Intro, I’m going to deliver two entries for each prompt. Let’s get into it!

Era of the Iblan Light

While the Iblan Light series is mainly about Iblis’ journey, there are four characters who generally drive the plot along. Here’s the Big Four, a little about them, and where they stand between Rebirth and the next book in the series.

Iblis of Light: The powerful deity whose consciousness has been sent into the past. With his knowledge of the future, Iblis has accidentally created a new timeline, that he must keep under control if he wants to return to his proper future. After the terror of Emergency Order 52, Iblis has spent much of his time helping to establish the new Tribunal Council government, as well as strengthening the position of his church in Capital City and the Union.

Cerina Burmen: Iblis’ longtime girlfriend, capable of using the rare floraemancy (plant magic). Currently attending Suramen National University in Uwaye, the jungle nation south of the United Nations of Iblis. In the new timeline, Cerina is studying a powerful magical substance she calls the “Verdant Essence,” a crystal of distilled and condensed plant life essence she intends to use as a counter to the deadly Crimson Essence.

Swift: The orphan and vigilante has become a faithful ally to Iblis of Light ever since the end of Emergency Order 52. Although he has declined to become an official steward of the Tribune like Iblis and Dusk, he has put forth his own efforts to keeping Capital City safe as the new government establishes itself. With nowhere else to go, Swift has moved into the Burmens’ old home with Iblis.

Dusk of Iblis: Iblis’ spiritual brother who keeps him focused on keeping Capital City safe. As a former steward and protector for the Consulate, Dusk has also taken up the charge to help establish the Tribunal Council. Dusk has taken up a position as leader of the ARC, doing his best to keep the space station an international neutral ground. In accordance with the wishes of Iblis the Enlightened (Iblis of Light’s predecessor), Dusk has banned all military research on the ARC, opting instead to put its considerable resources into focusing mainly on medical research instead. When he can, Dusk assists Iblis (and Swift on occasion) in keeping the peace in Capital City.

And here are a couple of characters I’ll be talking about tomorrow:

Joseph Burmen: The alias of a powerful biomancer, a mage who utilizes the innate power of the human soul to cast their spells. Joseph mysteriously disappeared after Cerina left for school, later sending her a letter explaining the conditions of his disappearance.

Helen Burmen: Joseph’s wife, also living under an alias. Rescued from the hermit nation, Nobe by Joseph many years ago, Helen has become a strong and courageous woman. She disappeared alongside Joseph and has not been heard from since.

And here’s a short little bitty-bit with the Big Four together.

The boys waited at the docks impatiently, waiting in disguise. Swift’s was the simplest, with him just wearing a thin hoodie underneath his now-signature red jacket (”But I like it!” was his excuse for ruining the point). Iblis and Dusk had magically shifted their appearances. Dusk, more limited in his abilities than Iblis, had changed his short hair to a dirty blonde color and softened his naturally strong jaw. His now jade-green eyes were locked on the sea before him. Iblis had decided to match Dusk in height, but opted instead to change his hair to a medium-length chestnut color, except for a single green highlight that ran across his head. He gave himself a rounded chin, and put on a few pounds. His warm brown eyes were constantly scanning the horizon to see if the ship was arriving yet. She was supposed to be here hours ago. What was taking so long? Iblis wanted to start pacing. What if something had happened? What if the ship ran into something and sank? What if pirates attacked? What if--

“She’s fine.” Dusk’s voice was flat as he looked over, annoyed, at his brother. “You know she’s fine. Stop making up scenarios in your head where she’s in trouble. You know Cerina can handle herself.”

“I know that,” Iblis replied, his gaze never breaking from the horizon, “It’s just--why wouldn’t she let me teleport her?”

“Because she doesn’t want to always depend on you. You know these things.”

“I’m faster.”

Dusk shook his head, “You’re a child.”

Swift caught their attention by pointing out the ship rising from the horizon. It wouldn’t be long now. Not unsurprisingly, Dusk could see Iblis starting to twitch and fidget. He gave Iblis a less-than-polite nudge and a cold stare. Iblis returned his own and returned his focus to the ship. Swift just chuckled and shook his head.

“I have never seen a man get so worked up for a girl he doesn’t even get to sleep with.”

“Sex isn’t everything, Swift.”

“I know that,” he shrugged, “I’m just surprised, is all. You two have been together long enough, I’m surprised you haven’t.”

“We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. There will be plenty of time for that later.”

“Whatever, dude, I’m just sayin’.”

“We don’t all look for the loosest women around, Swift,” Dusk interjected, looking over his shoulder down at Swift.

“One, I don’t look for the loosest women around. Two, I don’t always sleep with them. Sometimes I just spend the night and make them eggs for breakfast--unless they’re vegan. In which case, I panic and escape before they wake up.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll have an egg substitute you can use.”

“It’s not. The same.”

Iblis stifled a laugh at his friend’s expense as he continued looking out to the seas. It was the first time Cerina was actually returning home for one of her breaks. He had popped in to check on her every once in a while, and she always looked run down and tired. But he could see the determination burning brightly in her eyes, even on her worst days. She wasn’t going to quit. This was her dream, and she would do whatever it took to accomplish it.

Soon he could see her standing behind the guardrails on the bow, looking right down at him and smiling warmly. She knew who he was no matter what disguise he wore. The minutes passed quickly before the boat docked. A security team from the docks was quickly dispatched as the passengers prepared to come ashore. They pushed the throngs of people back (something that was not a problem for the trio standing far away from the crowds of people), leaving a wide open space for the passengers to disembark quickly and efficiently. The ramp off the boat was lowered, and a small team of customs agents quickly moved aboard, setting up a makeshift checkpoint just before the ramp.

More time passed as Iblis started fidgeting more and more. The urge to pace around was growing unbearable. Where was she? She was here. He saw her. Dusk, once again, nudged Iblis. With a near-silent whisper, Dusk told him to calm down. She would be here any minute.

“Hey, guys.” They all turned and saw Cerina standing there, pulling a pair of suitcases behind her. She looked rested for the first time in a long time, a peaceful glow surrounding her. Her long, grass green hair was braided, although her bangs still covered one of her baby-blue eyes. Cerina was wearing a long blue skirt and a plain white t-shirt. Several thin bracelets or various materials dangled from her wrists, most of them not even matching.

Swift was the first to greet her, giving Cerina a big hug. “It’s good to see you!”

“Oh my god, you don’t stink anymore!”

“Yeah!” Swift responded with a big, doofy smile on his face, “I bathe regularly now! I hate it! Buying soap is the worst!”

Cerina laughed as she turned to Dusk, opening her arms for another hug. Declining, Dusk extended a hand instead. She sighed and returned his handshake, “Still a stick in the mud, huh?”

“My brother insisted that I come along,” Dusk replied, returning Cerina’s smile, “I am glad to see you’re safe, however. You look well.”

“I did a lot of nothing on the ride over. It was relaxing.” She flexed her arms, “I also managed to get myself a bit of a tan for once!” She gave Dusk a small hug (which he awkwardly returned) and turned her attention to Iblis.

He could feel his face getting warm. His eyes darted away as he quickly turned his head to look somewhere else. Cerina just walked up to him and grinned, putting her hand on his cheek and bringing his attention back to her. Their eyes met.

“Hello, love,” she said soothingly. Iblis just took her in his arms and surrounded Cerina in his embrace.

“It’s been a while,” he whispered. She just looked at him with a smirk as he let go of her.

“Y’know, for a being who can travel the world in literal seconds and can see me whenever you desire, you are awfully sentimental.” Iblis just shrugged off her observation.

“Alright, well we don’t have all day.” Swift walked over to Cerina’s luggage and grabbed the handle on the larger suitcase, “So let’s grab these and--” The suitcase fell to the ground with a very large, very noticeable thud that caught some people’s attention. Swift just stared wide-eyed away from the accident, as if not acknowledging that he did, in fact, drop the suitcase would make it as if nothing happened. “I hope there was nothing important in there.”

Cerina just laughed and shook her head, “That one is just for my textbooks for next year. Things are getting serious, and I need to be ready for when school starts again.”

“Well, we don’t have time to waste, then,” Dusk hauled the heavier suitcase over his shoulder and grabbed the smaller one, “It’s time for us to go home.”

“Of course!” Iblis opened a portal leading back to the Burmens’ house just outside of Capital City, “There’s so much I can’t wait to show you!” Abandoning their disguises, the group walked back home, the portal closing behind them.

And that’s where we’ll end for today! I, of course, am making two entries. If you’re interested in seeing something else, feel free to check out my Black Empire entry! And if not, that’s cool too! I hope you’ll come back tomorrow when we’ll have a nice little story with Joseph and Helen.