#just putting up sfw (minus injury) from an ao3 fic

[blushweddinggowns]

It was a strange feeling, walking out of the Creel house. It was unsettlingly quiet, all of the unpleasant thundering and gnashing noises of the Upside Down were just…gone. It should have felt like a relief. No noise meant no demons. Which meant they had won, right? They had won and none of them had died, why wasn’t Steve jumping for joy?

Maybe he just needed to see the kids for it to all come together. Maybe then the knot in his stomach would loosen up a bit after that. Maybe that was why he was peddling like a mad man, suddenly desperate to see everyone in one piece. 

But the closer they got to the trailer park, the more and more that knot tightened. 

He heard it before he saw it, the horrifying sound of Dustin sobbing. It made him pedal even faster, heart in his throat when he turned the corner to see a fucking horror show. 

Dustin was wailing, incomprehensible cries while he cradled an unmoving Eddie. Steve skidded to a stop, throwing the bike aside to kneel next to him, eyes wide when he realized he was kneeling in a pool of Eddie Munson’s fucking blood.

There were chunks missing out of him, enough that you could see inside of him. Steve had never wanted to know what someone else’s guts looked like, but now he had been granted the horrifying privilege to see Eddie’s, barely peeking out from his red soaked shirt. He was snow white, virtually still as Dustin clung to him. 

He looked fucking dead. 

But he was also still bleeding. Steve was no medical genius, but that had to mean something right? He was moving before he could think, retching Dustin away from him, ignoring the way he cried out in protest. He was already tearing pieces from his shirt, hands shaking as he stared at the near corpse in front of him.

"Stop crying," Steve hissed out as he started to press his makeshift bandages against his gaping wounds, "Help me stop the bleeding."

“Why?” Dustin asked, or more demanded. He wiped at his face, but it only made it more wet, red with Eddie’s blood, “He’s dead! A-And it’s my fault-”

“He’s not fucking dead yet!” Steve barked back, tearing another piece of clothing from Dustin’s shirt, “But he’s going to be if we don’t do something!”

Nancy and Robin were circling around them, finally caught up after Steve had started cycling like the wind. Steve spared them a glance, anger rising at their desolate expressions. Why was everyone already giving up? He wasn’t even cold yet. 

Steve kept working, avoiding they’re pitying expression. It was horrible, and he was fucking covered in blood, his friend’s blood. His friend who was going to die if everyone else didn’t get on fucking board. Steve wanted to gag at the overwhelming coppery smell, he wanted to cry at the sight of him laying there, but that wouldn’t help anything. That wouldn't save his life.

“Nancy, check his pulse,” Steve snapped, eyes still on Eddie. He was still warm, that had to mean something. 

Didn’t it?

Steve barely stopped himself from telling her to fuck off when she sighed at the request. Like she was just humoring him when she leaned down and pressed two fingers to his neck. But then her eyes widened.

"He has a pulse," Nancy gasped, clearly shocked, “Weakest thing I’ve ever felt but it’s there.”

That small amount of hope was enough to get Dustin tearing up again, but they didn’t have time for that. Steve barely spared him a glance when he barked at him, too focused on trying to make it semi feasible to move him, “Is that good enough for you? Now fucking help me!”

It was enough to get Dustin out of his grief-induced stupor, and finally he was helping tie the cloth across his ribs. It was a slapped ass job, but it was going to have to be enough. No amount of shitty first aid they could do would fix this. He needed a hospital and Steve was going to get him there if it killed him. 

He hoisted him up in his arms, still barking orders to the rest of them. He was uncomfortably light, and Steve came to the horrifying realization pretty quickly that that was because he was missing probably more than half of his blood. But he wasn’t dead yet. That’s what mattered. 

He basically had to throw him up through the portal and pray that Robin and Nancy would actually catch him. But they did, and they were out, and then Steve was taking him back into his arms and sprinting to the car. He barely even had the wherewithal to realize just how fucked everything else was, but when he finally got Eddie situated in the backseat, his mind was open enough to noticethe glowing, orange cracks in the earth, it made him ill for a completely different reason. 

He turned to Nancy and Robin, voice tight, “Find Max and Lucas. Make sure they’re okay. Dustin, come with me.”

He had never been this bossy in his entire damn life, but he wasn’t stopping now. And no one was arguing with him. Instead the girls went straight for the bikes, no time for comments on the fact that they had walked into the damn apocalypse.  He pushed Dustin into the backseat, with firm orders that he kept pressure on the worst of his gaping wounds. 

Steve did some pretty questionable shit while driving to the hospital, but it’s not like he had a choice. The roads were ruined with literal cracks to hell, so if he had to drive through some people’s front yards, sue him. And if a few mailboxes were also taken out, then fuck it. 

Eddie mattered more. 

He was colder when Steve lifted him from the backseat, and for a terrifying moment Steve was near sure he was dead. But he didn’t dwell, too busy sprinting inside the hospital, grateful that Dustin was doing all of the talking for him.

Or more like screaming. Screaming for help, voice loud and near shrill in the quiet of the hospital. The place was still running thank christ, and it wasn’t even that busy. Or at least not yet. But Steve had a feeling that the earth shattering beneath their feet had left more than a few casualties. They were just the lucky ones to make it in first. 

The next thing he knew he was setting Eddie down on a gurney, and he was being wheeled away. But they hadn’t taken one look at him and declared him dead, so that had to mean something, right?

Steve didn’t know. All of that fury driven optimism about Eddie surviving being eaten alive as starting to die out. He felt fucking ill, and the only thing that had been keeping his focus was gone to fight for his life in an operating room.

Dustin slumped down onto a waiting room couch, head in his hands as he took some deep breaths. Steve sat next to him, cringing when he realized he was going to stain the fabric. He was disgusting, coated in a layer of blood, sweat, grime, and probably some tears in a second here. He barely fucking knew Eddie, but he did know he didn’t deserve to die. 

He didn’t need to know him long to realize that he was kind. And funny, and honestly handled the whole interdimensional monster thing like a champ. He was sweet, in a weird, dickish kind of way. The same type of sweetness that had him shepherding the nerdy trio under his wing. He was smart enough to know how to hotwire a car, brave enough to risk dying to protect all of them, stupid enough to not realize the value of his own life. 

Why him? Why did all of this shit have to happen to him? What did he ever do to deserve this? What did any of them do besides the crime of being forced to live in Hawkins, Indiana? 

“Is he going to die?” Dustin asked, voice muffled through his hands.

Probably. That would have been the logical answer. It was shocking that he wasn’t dead yet. It would be a miracle if he survived through the night, let alone ever hoping for him to be back to himself. 

But Steve was never one for cold logic.

“No,” he answered, voice shaky. He wrapped an arm around Dustin’s shoulder, praying to any god out there that he was right, “We got him here in time. He’s going to be okay.”

There was zero evidence for that. Zero reason to actually believe the bullshit coming out of Steve’s mouth. But it felt true. And that was good enough for Dustin. He nodded, sniffling a little into his hands. They sat in heavy silence, just waiting for some news. Any news.

"I'm sorry, for earlier," Steve said eventually, hugging Dustin a little tighter to his side, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

Dustin shrugged, "You were right though. Crying didn’t help anything."

“Still-”

“If he lives, you’ll have nothing to be sorry about,” Dustin interrupted, eyes on the ground, “And you said he’s gonna live. So there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Steve wanted to argue. To correct himself, to beg Dustin not to put all his hope into some dumb shit that came out of his mouth. But he didn’t have the time, because there was a whole new round of screaming from voices that he recognized. 

Both of them stood, wasting no time in running towards the sound of Lucas and Robin yelling for help. Though the sight of Max was enough to stop Steve in his tracks. She was already being set on a stretcher, completely limp, almost peaceful if you didn’t look too close. But when you did, you could see how her bones were fucked up, fractures on the edge of poking through the skin. 

If Steve wasn’t crying before, he sure as fuck was now. He looked to Lucas, sight already blurring, “Is she…?”

“She’s breathing,” Lucas sniffled, eyes never leaving the stretcher as she was wheeled away, “Jason almost killed her, but she’s breathing.”

Steve nodded, not asking for more details. They could wait, at least for right now. She wasn’t dead, and that’s all that mattered. And Lucas looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown. Who wouldn’t be, after seeing someone you love have all of their bones broken by a fucking demon wizard. Steve pulled him into a hug, thanking him for keeping her as safe as he could. 

It was probably the most disgusting hug in Lucas’s life, but he clung right back to him, sobbing into his shoulder. 

The five of them ended up hunkering down in the waiting room, silently watching as it slowly began to fill up with more and more people. News about Max came around first. They had pulled Robin aside, wrongly assuming a familial relation. Max was alive and stable. Breathing on her own, which was supposed to be a good sign. She was just in a coma. With minimal brain function. Robin was barely able to choke that last part out before falling into a fit of tears. 

But they were at least allowed to see her. They all migrated into her room, and the sight of her alive and breathing was enough for Lucas to finally allow himself to sleep. He pulled a chair as close to the bed as he could, reaching out to hold her hand before curling in on himself. He was asleep within minutes. And Robin and Dustin weren’t too far behind. Nancy was perched on the only other chair, the three of them opting to sit against the wall. Steve was in the middle, and eventually the both of them used his shoulder as a pillow, sandwiching him in between them as they slept.

Steve didn’t mind, even if it was uncomfortable. If anything it was comforting, to be enveloped by two of the people he loved most in the world. But he couldn’t sleep, despite his exhaustion. He refused to sleep, not until he knew if Eddie was still alive or not. 

Nancy wasn’t sleeping either. She was just watching, quiet as her gaze flicked all around the room. She landed on staring at the wall behind Steve’s head. 

“I’m tired of people dying,” She said eventually, nearly whispering to not wake any of them up, “I’m so damn tired of it Steve. I’m fucking sick of it.”

Steve leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling as he whispered back,“I know.”

“What did Eddie ever do to deserve this? Or Max, or Chrissy, or Heather, or Barb, or all of the other poor fucks who suffered because of this hellhole. Even fucking Billy didn't deserve what he got. When will it stop?”

Steve was pretty sure he had never heard her curse this much since he’d known her. He kind of liked it. Nancy had always been a bit of an enigma, always had this strange sense of mystery around her. But hearing her fed up and tired of the hell that was their lives was oddly humanizing. It reminded Steve how he fell in love with her in the first place.

He brought his eyes down from the ceiling to look at her, a small sad smile on his face. “I don’t know.”

Nancy stood from her chair, hair wild and eyes blazing, way too energetic for someone who went through what they all just went through. She walked over until she was in front of Steve, kneeling down so they were face to face,“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”

She reached for one of his hands, grasping it tightly in between both of hers,“Promise me we won’t die here. Neither of us. Swear to me.”

Steve stared at her, eyes stuck on their clasped hands. Seventeen hours ago Steve would have been pretty ecstatic about Nancy choosing to be this close to him, but this didn’t feel romantic. He just felt obligated. But not in a bad way, it just felt big. Bigger than their non-existent relationship. He felt like she was seeing right through him because she was right. He didn’t want to die in this pit. He didn’t want to live here forever, in constant fear that hell would open back up at any time. He didn’t want to be here anymore, he didn’t want any of them too. He wished this whole hellhole would just be condemned and quarantined, then no one else would have to suffer in it. 

He took a deep breath, looking her square in the eye, “I swear we won’t die in Hawkins, Indiana. Neither of us. When we’re in our nineties and die peacefully of old age, the longest living will have to go out of state for the funeral. ”

“Deal,” She gave his hand one last squeeze before curling back up in her chair, almost like the whole exchange had never happened. But that was just Nancy. She was weird like that, going from scarily intense back to neutrally calm in a nanosecond. 

It didn’t take long before he heard the soft sound of Nancy snoring in her chair, leaving Steve completely alone with nothing but his thoughts. 

She didn’t used to be like that when they were dating. Or maybe she was but she hid it from him, trying to play her part as his loving girlfriend while hiding all of her odd quirks. She used to hide a lot of things from him, and for the first time Steve wondered if he ever even got the opportunity to love her. The real her. Or if he’d just been pining after a fantasy for years. 

He wondered if they would ever be together like that again, or if that dream of an RV full of kids would ever come into fruition. It felt so small now, sitting in this hospital room with one of his favorite people hooked up to a million machines, bones shattered.

 He wasn’t even sure if it was his dream, or if it was just a dream of normalcy. Doing all of the things he was expected to do. Get married, have kids, be happy. And if he couldn’t do that with Nancy, who could he do it with? How else was he going to manage to be normal after all of this, if that was off the table? Maybe he’d just have to accept that he never would be. Maybe it was time for a new dream. And for now, Steve was fine with it being something as simple as not dying in Hawkins Indiana. It would do. 

He wondered if that dream could be expanded into no one else dying in Hawkins, Indiana. His mind wandered back to Eddie, how cold he’d been, how still. Maybe that could be added in. Max Mayfield and Eddie Munson, not dying here. Anywhere but here. 

Dustin used to tell him about how much Eddie wanted to leave. He talked about it nearly everyday, and anything Eddie talked about Dustin would repeat to Steve, because in the span of a couple months the guy had become his idol. That had been his plan the whole time. Get his diploma and bounce, and never look back. And he deserved to have that. 

They all did. And maybe, just maybe, they could have it. He wasn’t dead yet, right? That’s all that mattered. And Steve would repeat that to himself until he actually believed it. Steve let his head thunk back against the wall. And then he did the only thing he could do, he closed his eyes and waited. 

snippet from this fic