#justdabbling

[westernzodia]

Wandering child of the earth. Do you know just how much you're worth?

Shai wasn't entirely sure where they were at-- a forest unlike any other they had seen. Paths worn through the foliage, between the trees that blocked out a lot of the sunlight above them.

You have walked this path since your birth, You were destined for more.

The Scorpio adjusted the collar of their shirt, the humidity of the environment causing them to sweat a little. It was all so beautifully peaceful. They could walk like this forever~. Ahead of them though were... well, they're not entirely sure what they are.

There are those who'll tell you you're wrong, They will try to silence your song.

Really large mushrooms, is what they looked like. Hopping and bouncing around, making all sort of odd squishing noises. Shai furrowed their brow at the sight of them. Never before had they seen things like them before.

But right here is where you belong-- So don't search anymore.

Suddenly, the mushrooms seem to notice that the Scorpio was nearby. Shai had tensed as they all turned to face them. Moments after, they start charging towards them.

You are the dawn of a new day that's waking, A masterpiece still in the making.

A body of water was next to them, so with a wave of their hand the Scorpio pulled forth the water from the body and sent it towards the incoming mushrooms. They made squishing noises and bounced back-- but that didn't seem to stop them.

They were getting back up and coming towards them.

The blue in an ocean of grey. You are right where you need to be.

Shai swallowed thickly, lifting the water up once more-- and decided to make it more... sharp. 'Soft' water isn't going to stop them, clearly. So if they use the water like sharp pins, perhaps it might...

Poised to inspire and to succeed, You'll look back and you'll realize one day.

A couple of the mushrooms fell back from the assault, poofing into nonexistence... but the larger bipedal-looking mushrooms were still coming.

In your eyes there is doubt As you try to figure it out.

Shai wasn't entirely sure what to do. These larger mushrooms didn't seem affected by their abilities to control water and stab them with it--

But that's not what life is about. So have faith, there's a way.

"Enshroud!"

There's a pop, and sudden floral dust-cloud encased the Scorpio. They felt dizzy, grabbing the collar of their shirt and using it to cover their nose. It smells so good though--

Though the world may try to define you, It can't take the light that's inside you.

Arrows whizzed past them, along with what looked like little floating specks of-- well, honestly it looked like little green fairies but those only exist in fairytales. The arrow and 'fairies' strike the bipedal-mushrooms and knock them back--

So don't you dare try to hide, Let your fears fade away.

The mushrooms were all knocked away, just as the floral dust-cloud was beginning to fade away... Shai turned to see whom it was that had helped them...

You are the dawn of a new day that's waking, A masterpiece still in the making.

A young man (they think? He seems very pretty.) with tall ears on top of his head, and a tail that swished behind him. A... human-fox person?? And with a bow too.

The blue in an ocean of grey. You are right where you need to be.

"Are you okay?" he has asked, now approaching the Scorpio. Moving the collar of their shirt down from their nose, they give a small nod. "Good. What are you doing out here anyways? You don't look like an adventurer."

Poised to inspire and to succeed, You'll look back and you'll realize one day.

"I don't entirely know..." Shai admitted quietly. "I seem to be a little... lost."

You are the dawn of a new day that's waking.

"Is that so?"

A masterpiece still in the making.

"Well. I can't let you stay out here all by yourself. Come on, follow me."

The blue in an ocean of grey.

"I don't recognize the outfit you're wearing."

You are right where you need to be.

"I saw you use the water earlier, where is your Vision?"

Poised to inspire and to succeed.

"You don't... have a Vision?"

Soon you'll finally find your own way.

"Just who are you?"

[angelsofafeather]

First Drop of Clean Blood:

I knew Rahmiel had female parts, but it never occurred to me that they were potentially functional. They wouldn’t talk about it much, perhaps they didn’t know that themselves... but they made it obvious that their male parts worked and became flustered whenever we asked about their female parts and refuse to speak. It became a tender subject... but they eventually learned I won’t reject them no matter what... and they began speaking with me about them.

We would be sitting in my room, back to back, as Rahmiel couldn’t stand to look me in the eyes when we spoke about these tender subjects. My room was the perfect place to speak as it was sound proofed because Hael’s room was right next door, and with Theo visiting it got quite loud sometimes. Which, I’m surprised Hael doesn’t get her OWN room sound proofed for the same reason.

Guess my room is more of a safe-haven for my siblings than anything else. 

But this day... Rahmiel wasn’t feeling well. They felt achy and queasy, chest hurt and felt like they were going to cry if someone said anything bad to them.They didn’t want to be around any of our other siblings, so we hung out for a while in my room... back to back, how they preferred.

This is when they told me about the bleeding. Their voice was quiet, head resting on their knees as they stared in the direction of my bed, amethyst wings shielding them from view... not that I could see them anyways because I was leaning against their back and staring in the opposite direction. 

And what the nurse had said... that this was normal... but because of their male parts as well, it caused a horrifically bad fluctuation of hormones. What could come of it, the nurse wasn’t sure... but one thing they could say for sure, was that this likely made them infertile and unable to bear children or impregnate someone else.

Rahmiel chuckled a bit when they said that didn’t bother them... they didn’t want children now anyways. I couldn’t help but smile a bit to myself as well. They continued with... that they were hungry and was going to get something to eat. I sat up off of my sibling, feeling their wings brush against my own before hearing the soft shifting of clothes as they stood up. “Take care, Rahmiel.” I spoke to them, making sure to keep my gaze away. “Don’t push yourself.”

“Mihr, don’t get sappy.” they replied, patting at their clothes a bit. “Eugh... I hate this thing, it brushes me all wrong. I don’t think pads and a penis is supposed to mix.” At that, I couldn’t help but snort, covering my mouth with a wide grin. “Fuck you-...” But their voice was a soft chuckle, so I knew they weren’t angry with me.

“Maybe the nurse can recommend something else.” I offered, leaning back slightly and having my arms support me.

“She said since this is my first... a... a pad would be best until I-...” Rahmiel’s voice trailed off for a moment, but I knew not to pry. They’ll continue on their own... and a few moments after, they spoke up again, though voice was quiet. “Until I get used to having periods... and... c-can predict when they come... I have to wear girl’s underwear so that it sticks, and it’s so uncomfortable... Mihr, I hate this... I don’t want to deal with this...”

My desire to help them was great, but what am I to do? It’s not like I can make them stop bleeding on command... it doesn’t work like that. I kept my mouth shut, as I didn’t have anything to say that could help them. 

“I-... I’m going to make me something to eat...” Rahmiel whispered. “It... should only last a few days, th-then I can just be myself again...”

“Get saltine crackers for the queasiness.” I suggest, finding that was the only useful thing I could say.

“Crackers and soup-...” Rahmiel added, and I could hear them hum softly. “Thank you... Mihr... for listening...”

“Anytime~...” I answer, sitting up a bit and glancing over my shoulder. Rahmiel’s gaze was towards the wall, but I could see tears in their eyes and their face was flushed a dark red. I push myself up to stand, making my way over to them. I grab their hands and squeeze firmly. “I’ve already told you, and I’ll tell you as many times as you need me to... I love you, Rahmiel... and I will be here for you forever and always~.” I let go of one of their hands, reaching up to brush their bangs to the side... but Rahmiel still didn’t look at me. I smile sympathetically, sliding my hand down slightly to caress their cheek. They nuzzle into my hand and turn their eyes towards me, but quickly look away... almost as if... ashamed, maybe... or just nervous. “Rahmiel, that food isn’t going to cook itself...” I chuckle.

“I know.” they reply, slowly pulling away from me. 

“Do you need me to help?” I asked, staying where I was at.

“No... no, I just want some solitude now... th-thank you though.” Rahmiel’s gaze went to my feet, then to the other wall, sliding up to the ceiling. They took in a deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly... then their eyes focused on mine. It was an intense gaze, not one I was used to seeing from them, it felt like they were trying to make me prey... but I stared back though I didn’t narrow my eyes like they had done towards me.

The air around them changed, but I didn’t say anything. Rahmiel took their laurel crown off, taking a step closer to me and grabbed my hand, placing the gold leaf crown in my hand. I allowed them to do what they pleased, but after taking their crown, Rahmiel quickly turned around and ran out of my room... slamming the door shut behind them as they left.

I walked over towards my dresser, gently setting their crown down and gazing at it quietly. I wonder... what was with that gaze of their’s? It was unusual, were they trying to scare me? As if it would work... they can glare at me all they want, but I won’t back down. I am their protector, and I won’t let a simple glare get under my skin.

It still left me curious, however. I’ll question them later. For now, I was going to relax. I sat down at the foot of my bed, slid out a box that was underneath and grabbed out a can of Dr. Pepper. I leaned back against the bed frame and popped the can open, allowing my eyes to slip shut as I put the can to my lips. The only thing I can taste is the faintest hint of caramel... the room temperature fizzing soda as it crackles in my mouth.

I don’t know how long I had been relaxing... my mind had wandered... as it does from time to time when I’m taking it easy... but the next thing I know... I hear Hael scream for my name through my laurel crown.

“MIHR!” she screamed in panic. My eyes shoot open and I jump to my feet, the can dropping from my hand as I grab my laurel crown. My first thought was... ‘she’s having a panic attack’... 

“Where are you Hael?” I reply quickly, though with a calm tone of voice.

“Rahmiel just strangled Sachi and they’re beating Theo!” Hael cried in return. My eyes widen in shock, and I immediately ran from my room towards the kitchen. What is Rahmiel thinking!? I couldn’t get there as fast as I had wanted, but once there, I slammed the door open to see Theliel collapse to the ground from a sucker punch to the face. Off to the side was Azriel looming over an unconscious Sachiel, and the blue angel was sobbing. I heard the sound of metal sliding across the counter and my gaze quickly went to the source, finding Rahmiel had snatched up a knife.

“RAHMIEL!” I yelled, quickly running over and grabbing at their wrist. “Stop!” I was glaring hard at them, but the look I got in return... it was wild... and they snarled at me like a vicious animal with their mouth open wide. I squeeze their wrist as hard as I could, making them visibly wince and drop the knife. At this, I turned my attention towards Hael cradling Theliel, speaking in a relatively calm tone. “Hael, get up and get Theo out of here.” 

I turned my attention towards Azriel. “Azu, quit your crying and get Sachi to the nurse.” As my attention was on Azriel, I heard Hael gasp... and then it hit me... quite literally. I wince as pain shot all across my body and I turned my attention to my stomach, to see that Rahmiel had grabbed a second knife and stabbed it in my stomach. My eyes went up to Rahmiel, gritting my teeth as pain bit at every nerve in my body... but I wasn’t going to cry out. I grabbed their other wrist and took a step away from them, yanking them closer. 

I twisted Rahmiel’s arm up around and behind their back, throwing them to the ground and holding them down with my knee. Rahmiel began to thrash and scream, amethyst wings flapping and occasionally smacking my face. 

“HAEL, AZRIEL, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” I yelled, my voice unintentionally showing anger. I could see Hael scatter to pick Theo up and take him away, and behind me I could hear Azriel do the same... though it seemed easier for him to pick up Sachiel than Hael to carry Theliel. The kitchen doors were slammed open and they quietly shut.

Rahmiel was still thrashing though was now screaming obscenities at me, the knife still in my stomach and I could feel my spandex grow warm and damp, but I refused to let the other up. “Rahmiel... why...?” I questioned softly, feeling my body beginning to tremble. My body was hurting and I felt like I was growing light headed. “Rah-... please, stop... I don’t want to have to hurt you...”

I felt insanely dizzy for a moment so I placed my other hand on the floor for balance... which was a bad thing to do, I realize after the fact. Rahmiel used their free hand to grab mine and yank me off, causing me to roll off and the knife twisting from the movement. My breath caught in my throat from the sudden shock of pain as Rahmiel slammed me onto my back. They grabbed the handle of the knife and yanked it out, blood spurting out onto themselves. I watched with a pain expression as they held the knife above their head, and drove it onto my stomach once more.

I gasped and choked, feeling either blood or saliva collect in the back of my mouth... not sure which as I was too dizzy to be able to taste it. Rahmiel yanked the knife back out a second time, holding it above their head to stab me once more... I didn’t even hear the door open, but boy was I glad to see what happened next with what consciousness I had left...

Purah came from nowhere, grabbing Rahmiel’s scarf and yanked upwards, thoroughly strangling them and taking them off of me. They were kicking and thrashing, but Purah managed to pull them about a foot away from me before letting go and standing over me. 

“Orbitar!” Purah yelled out, throwing up his Guardian Orbitars to create a physical barrier between us and Rahmiel. Rahmiel stood there for a moment, a dark look on their face, a heavy snarling pant coming from them... before they turned tail and ran out of the kitchen. Purah remained above me for a few more moments before letting their Orbitars diminish and vanish as quickly as they had came. He dropped down next to me and lifted up my head, a worried smile on his face. “Oh my Goddess! They were going to stab you! Good thing I came along huh? I heard Hael over my crown-...”

I couldn’t speak... my eyes fluttering slightly, but I managed to keep consciousness to watch his face change from relieved to concerned.

“Mihr-...?” Purah’s voice reached to me, and I could feel him place a soft hand to my stomach. “Wh-... warm? Blood!? They DID stab you!” I couldn’t help but smile on the inside... the oblivious pink angel didn’t notice blood on the knife... it was so fitting for him... I’ll have to tease him about this later.

I remember Purah calling out to me once more before things went completely black. 

My next memory was awakening in the nurse’s office, and it was dimly lit. Next to me was an empty bed, though the blankets were askew as if someone was in there just a short while ago. On the other side of me was Purah, contently sleeping in the chair that was provided. He looked so uncomfortable. I slipped out of bed, a hospital gown the only thing I was wearing as I felt the draft between everything. I put my arm under Purah’s head and legs, attempting to lift him but I felt a sharp stabbing at my stomach and yank my arms away. This woke him, because I hear him stirring quietly.

“Mihr-...?” came his sleepy voice, head turning towards me and his eyes slipped open slightly. “You’re finally awake-...”

“Yeah...” was my only response, sighing softly.

“You were asleep for a couple of days now...” Purah told me, sitting up straight and rubbing his eyes. I narrow my eyes a bit. Now wasn’t the time for jokes. “We all took turns watching over you... both Sachi and Theo were bruised from Rah’s attacks... they were better within a couple of hours... but you? You stayed out for 2 days straight.” He stood up from the chair, stretching his arms above his head and wings open wide and I could hear his body pop and crack. “No one has seen Rah since then...”

I knew where to look. I like to think that I know my siblings well enough that I could read their minds... and my first thought was my room. 

“Mihr... what are we going to do...?” Purah asked me quietly, his eyes full of worry.

“You... go to your room and get some sleep.” I answered. “I’ll find Rah and sort this out.”

“Mihr, you’re hurt!” Purah whined back at me, but I reached over and gently popped the top of his head. “Mihr-...”

“Kitten, you don’t need to worry about me. They caught me off guard, and they won’t get that chance again. Injured or not, I won’t let Rahmiel get me this time.” I told him, standing up straight and using my more authoritative voice. This made him smile, though tears began to form in his eyes. “Kitten, I’ll be fine~...”

“Okay... I trust you.” Purah whispered to me, taking a step closer and giving me a soft and short hug. “If you get into trouble, please call for us, okay?”

“I will.” I assured, giving him a promising smile. I won’t... but I had to put Purah’s mind at ease. No way was I going to put any of them at risk of facing Rahmiel, in case they were still violent and wild. I can handle being stabbed... but the rest of them? No... I won’t put them through that. It’s bad enough Sachiel was strangled and Theo beaten down. I can’t have that happen again.

Purah and I left the nurse’s room, but went our separate ways... as our rooms were in two different directions. The halls were quiet in the middle of the night... of course, I already knew this. I’m not out often at night, but I like to appreciate the silence.

I got back to my own room, reached up and tried the door handle. Locked. This told me for sure one of my siblings was in here... and the only one I could guess at the moment was Rahmiel. 

“Rahmiel... open this door.” I told them, keeping my stern tone of voice. I didn’t get a vocal response, but I heard the faint shifting of material. I waited... but after trying the door again, it was still locked.

“Rahmiel... you have to the count of three to open this door.”

Nothing... I questioned whether I had to break down my own door or not...

“One...”

Again, nothing... which only made me assume I was going to have to do it... I didn’t want to have to destroy my own room, but I would if I have to.

“Two...”

Good thing I count slowly, because about another second after saying that I could hear more shuffling of material, perhaps they’re getting out of bed. My bed. I wait a few seconds more, and I hear the door click. 

“Three...” I whisper to myself, reaching forward and grabbing the door handle, slowly twisting it open and pushed the door open. There, in the dark, was Rahmiel... facing away from me hunched over on the floor. Seeing them there reminded me a lot of our talking sessions, except they were usually facing the door, and me towards the window. I step into the room, shutting the door behind me. The only form of light was from the moon outside shining in and giving everything a faint blue shine.

I walk over towards Rahmiel, and I turned away from them... sitting down and leaning against their back... like the many times we’ve done before. I wait... to see if they were going to speak first. I could feel them beginning to shiver and tremble, their breathing going ragged. 

“Rah... what happened?” I asked them softly, using my more gentle, therapeutic tone of voice.

“I-... d-don’t know...” they stuttered a reply, the shaking getting a bit more intense. “I-... I got angry... A-all I s-saw... w-was red... and... I... it was... l-like I was... l-lifted out of... m-my body... I... my soul... I-I watched it... a-attack you! H-hurt you! I’m sorry! I’m so... SO SORRY!” And they broke out bawling. I could feel them push back against me, and I could only guess that they’re trying to wipe away the tears. It was a bit difficult to make out what they were saying now... but the only thing I could distinguish was them apologizing... over and over... in breathless gasps and sobs.

I felt Rahmiel move off of me suddenly, but I didn’t move. They weren’t in any condition to hurt me... I wasn’t afraid of them... I didn’t need to be. They wrapped their arms under mine and around my chest and hugged me from behind, sobbing into my shoulder.

I let them cry and sob. I don’t face them unless they want me to or when our talking is over. This is our chatting sessions... this time was no different, and I was going to treat it the way it needed to be treated. Eventually, Rahmiel’s sobbing died down, but their hug didn’t fade and they didn’t lift up their head from my shoulder. Through soft hiccups, I could hear them question me in a shaky voice.

“E-everyone h-hates me now... d-don’t they...?”

“Hate... no.” I replied, and I felt them squeeze me slightly and began to shake again.

“Y-you’re all s-scared of me now th-though...” Rahmiel whimpered.

“They might be... but not me.” I answer. They began to ball the gown in their fists and I could hear them gritting their teeth. “Rahmiel... I’ll tell you over and over... I’ll repeat it and show you however many times you need me to... You weren’t feeling well, and I’m not going to blame you for something you had no control over.”

“Oh Mihr...” and they began sobbing again. I raise one hand up and place it on top of one of Rahmiel’s, lacing out fingers together. My other hand, I reached up and began to pet at their hair, which felt greasy and matted... likely from not showering the past few days.

“I want you to apologize to the others.” I told them, speaking a bit firmer than before. 

“Th-they’ll hate me...” Rahmiel mumbled back, though I wasn’t expecting that quick of an answer. “They d-don’t want me a-around...”

“How do you know?” I asked, temptation to glance back at them was strong, but this was still our speaking sessions. “Did you ask them?” I could feel them shake their head ‘no’. “Then how do you know?” I didn’t get a response this time. “Rahmiel... Let me tell you a story... this happened several years ago, back in Brawl. All of us were still new to the game, but we were close knit, like a family. So... Theliel and Azriel decided to have a fun fight... since they didn’t have any matches today... but the fight didn’t take place on a stage.”

“A-are they dumb...?” Rahmiel questioned. 

“No... we simply didn’t know back then the consequences.” I answered, before I could continue, Rahmiel spoke up again.

“They could have gotten hurt!” they practically yelled, lifting their head up from my shoulder.

“And they did.” I informed, glancing to the side so that I could see Rahmiel’s face. They were flushed with tear stained cheeks, and now looked shocked. “When Azriel and Theliel were fighting, Theo sliced Azu’s belly wide open and began to bleed profusely.”

“But-... Azu he can’t-...” Rahmiel stuttered, and I gave a nod.

“Azriel began laughing at our concerns... because he couldn’t feel the pain.” I told them. “That was when we learned that Azriel doesn’t have a sense of touch... but my point is... even after that, Azriel and Theliel remained friends. Theo felt bad and thought that Azu didn’t want to see him anymore because of it. He apologized over and over again... kind of like what you were just doing.” Rahmiel lowered their gaze and place their head on my shoulder once more. “But we’re a family, Rahmiel... and if you want your family to understand you, then you need to talk to them. They’ll understand... just like me. I can help you. We can start from the beginning and explain to them your situation... tell them you weren’t feeling well, but that it's no excuse for you hurting them... and from now on, when you aren’t feeling well, we’re to leave you alone unless you ask for our company.”

“I don’t want to hurt others.” Rahmiel mumbled under their breath.

“Then you need to apologize.” I informed, stroking their hair once more. “Come on... lets go get you a shower, and then we can set up a meeting tomorrow for us all, okay?”

“O-okay...” they whispered.