naruto crack au where kakashi manages to successfully drill the "never abandon your comrades" thing into team seven's heads
so when sasuke deserts naruto and sakura immediately desert with him. like he gets to the village gates and they're just waiting for him bags packed like "what took u so long we doing this or what"
he tries to get them to go back bc of course he does. "no you losers this is about me i'm going to kill my brother. also i'll have to kill my best friend for the super sharingan and you two are like the only people i talk to". but they do not listen. teamwork sasuke we will defeat your brother (OUR brother #communism) with the power of teamwork. just like kakashi-sensei said
suddenly orochimaru has to deal with three horrible little goblins with an even more codependent relationship than his old team
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kabuto is funny bc most other naruto antagonists can be intimidating and have objectively cool moments where they show off to their enemies how devastatingly powerful they are, meanwhile kabuto is the epitome of cringe fail loser guy. even when he's trying to be cool, he just ends up humiliating himself. naruto thinks he's weird, sasuke thinks he's pathetic and itachi of all people is lecturing him on learning from past mistakes?? i would die from embarrassment. can you tell this loser is one of my favorite characters
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