#kanghan kirttin sukprasert

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Sailom: “Aren’t you worried about people finding out about us?”

Kang: “it’s actually my life’s dream that everyone in the world knows you belong to me.”

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Sailom & Belonging to Kang

Sailom toed a fascinating line this episode with letting Kang “buy him” or, in other words, own him.

He let Kang pay for hotel, meals, and clothes:

I think in his mind this didn’t bother him perhaps because Kang would have spent the money anyway? Kang needed to get his frustration and hurt out. And there was a transactional element there too: Sailom would have needed many of those things to stay with Kang on this trip and he had to stay to stay on the trip to make sure KANG DIDN’T GET KIDNAPPED FOR WAVING THOUSANDS OF BAHT AROUND.

But then when Kang offered to pay off his debts — something Sailom genuinely needs, and therefore would have felt indebted to him him for — Sailom said no:

He playfully jokes — and to me it is clearly joking the first time (look at that raised eyebrow!)— about Kang buying him:

But what Sailom really wants from Kang is to belong to him — to know that he’s Kang’s person; that Kang isn’t going to stop wanting him or needing him. He showed us last episode how afraid he still feels that Kang is going to slip up and revert back to the person we saw in the first two episodes; abandoning him in the process.

He hints at this need in the bath tub, when he first tells Kang —

After Kang tells him so sincerely how he feels “you are ESSENTIAL to me” (absolutely necessary to my existence) Sailom repeats the earlier dialogue.

The tone is much more serious here than the first time. Because they’re not actually talking about Kang buying him. They’re acknowledging that Kang just told Sailom how much he loves him.

Only then does Sailom admit the reverse — he’s already Kang’s (he loves him too):

And he goes further to prove it — he gives himself physically to Kang as well.

For all that Sailom adopted this language about Kang buying him this episode, the refusal of the debts was key — he isn’t going to let Kang do anything that would truly make him feel like he owes Kang. Because in his mind, Kang already owns his heart and body.

And he needs to be able to know the reverse is true — that he’s essential to Kang as well. In Sailom’s mind, he won’t be able to know that for certain if Kang feels owed something else from him. Because then Kang might just be sticking around waiting for his debts to get repaid, right?

That’s why Sailom is going to turn to escorting instead of asking Kang for help. And that’s why he’s going to have to actually get vulnerable with Kang soon and tell him how scared he feels.

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Little details in episode 7

I FINALLY got to rewatch episode 7 so sharing a bunch of the tiny things that jumped out at me:

This angle!! The way his face is so scrunched!! He THAT desperately wants Sailom to understand what he is trying to tell him.

The way Sailom doesn’t look at him once while Kang is focused on him —

But then when the boys burst in he steals this glance

And Kang seems to sense it, but he’s too late and Sailom has already looked away again

This little pleased smile when Kang realizes he’ll have more chances with Sailom

Sailom pretending like he can just hide in his blanket cocoon and Kang won’t be able to find him

The way Sailom instantly knew when Kang gave up at the main door that he would come to the bathroom—

And Kang likewise knew he wasn’t asleep

The way after Kang asks this question—

He makes this adorable nervous face

How they are a package deal at KANG’S FAMILY EVENTS now

How Kang instantly puts a hand on Sailom’s shoulder and then they have an entire wordless conversation by making faces at each other. VISIBLE FROM MARS

I just love the idea that Kang and Pimfah immediately went back to close friends now that all the awkwardness is over

Sailom’s little hidden smile after Kang flirts with him on the bus

The fact that after Kang asks this question he LOOKS AT SAILOM FOR PERMISSION. Husband behavior!!

Sailom has a dedicated voice just for teasing Kang (see also their first tutor session and I know I’m missing at least one more)

And Kang has a dedicated voice just for protesting when his grandmother is teasing him about Sailom

the first time one of them has admitted it out loud to someone else!!

Another wrist drag!! I’m really into it, as is Sailom, I imagine despite all his protests

The song playing is Wind! I think it was @lamonnaie who talked about the idea that Perth & Chimon could exist in this world as real people. I keep laughing at the thought of Kang talking about how Perth is his favorite and Sailom teasing him because “that’s because he looks like you!” But now I’m also charmed at the idea of the reverse — that Kang has a thing for Chimon because he looks like Sailom

I LOVE this stumble fall because of COURSE it would lead to an (almost) kiss!! They’ve been flirting nonstop. They are touching in multiple places!! It is the only natural conclusion and I admire the writers for showing that progression. (We were ROBBED)

This is astonishingly brave of Sailom. This man clearly terrified him and could fire him in an instant and he still sticks up for Kang

This is after Guy rejects him. Kang gets this cocky “challenge accepted” smile and you know? This feels like really important growth for him. Also it’s a good look for him. Both seem like important observations

Kang scores a goal! He’s GENUINELY good. (I see you, Kang’s Dad, you DICK)

After Kang misses, Sailom makes sure to smile so that if Kang looks up to see him he won’t see him looking disapproving or sad. MY HEART

Sailom is RUTHLESS with his tests (affectionate). He lets Kang get through an entire pretty self-deprecating speech while sounding on the verge of tears without comforting him and waits for the most important line, which is this — that Kang is motivated on his own to get back up and keep trying. Only then does Sailom tell him he’s already got the friend’s approval. But Sailom needed to see that Kang was willing to keep trying first before he personally was willing to go all in. I love him.

And ending on this look. Sailom’s Look Of Love got a lot of attention, rightfully, but this is a pretty amazing one too.

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Kang/Sailom and competing meanings of 'security'

Kang: "Let me ask you this. If I were to wake up tomorrow with no money, would you still like me?" Sailom: "I. Like. You."

Episode 4 made it clear that Kang and Sailom enjoy each other’s company, that they mutually missed one another after Sailom lost the tutoring job, and that they would like to continue spending time together moving forward. It’s particularly important how well Dangerous Romance demonstrated that this goes two ways - that for Sailom his sadness wasn’t just about losing Kang’s financial support (seen below in the scene with his brother and also in his disappointment after Pimfah hires him)

These scenes show us that he missed Kang outside of the bounds of tutoring him. Said differently — that he gets more from their relationship than Kang’s family’s money.

This is so interesting to tease out because right now, Kang is obsessed with making sure Sailom is financially secure -- specifically with Sailom having enough money to pay off the monthly debtors so he won't be beaten or have to work as an escort.

For Kang, his money is the most important thing he has to offer Sailom. He agonizes over his midterms, not because he personally feels driven to pass them all, but because he's terrified of what will happen to Sailom if he gets fired. However, while money is particularly important to Sailom at this moment in time while his brother is 'injured' (side eyes Saifah real hard), it is not what he values most about his relationship with Kang. For Sailom, Kang gives him an emotional security he doesn’t get anywhere else.

Kang does this in several ways. First, he offers Sailom the space, lack of judgement, and often encouragement to just be a teenager:

To play video games

To take naps

To experience the joy of a late night ride

To be kind of a troll:

((I don’t believe for ONE SECOND Sailom would talk to any of his other tutoring clients like this)) Kang also puts Sailom first in a way in a way no one else does (I love this post by @jojotichakorn about this being important). He constantly worries about Sailom and his needs. LOOK AT ALL THESE MOMENTS IN JUST THREE EPISODES:

And finally, Sailom can relax and be himself with Kang in a way he doesn't seem to with anyone else. While he does lighten up a little with Auto and Guy, he still seems to play a caregiver role for them. And he’s quick, when he does start to let his guard down, to snap back into his top student role.

The way Sailom is with Kang is actually best contrasted with how uncomfortable Sailom is at home. However much he adores Saifah, he is always on guard with him, perhaps even more than Sailom himself even realizes.

He doesn’t admit to his full emotions about losing Kang

And he constantly worries about Saifah’s spending habits and behavior with his clients

While Kang’s money is helpful for Sailom, like Sailom said, he could have found another job. We saw that on screen when Pimfah offered him the tutoring gig. But Sailom would have been (almost) as miserable as Kang in that scenario. Because Kang gives him an emotional security that Sailom has been desperately missing in his life. It may seem surprising to hear that Sailom’s former bully is now his biggest source of comfort, but I think there are a few reasons Sailom feels this way about him:

He never truly feared Kang to begin with; Kang started to really frustrate him towards the end, but Sailom didn't ever get scared by his attempts at physical intimidation

Kang has already seen him at the absolute lowest point in his life (the night of the beating)

Kang saved him and then cradled him protectively in his arms while he cried

Sailom has already seen Kang at one of the lowest points of his life in return (his birthday); he's also seen Kang at his abject worst (any one of his many bullying attempts) -- so there's no pressure to impress him

Since they started spending time together, Kang has never done anything but reward that trust. He hasn't made fun of Sailom or made him feel any lesser, even in situations where Sailom was clearly out of his element (the steak, the VR)

In summary -- Sailom needs and wants to be around Kang just as much as Kang does him, and for reasons that are intrinsically Kang.

However as long as Kang continues to think the most important thing he can do is buy Sailom's time, they are going to keep having conflict. Because:

And the more Sailom falls in love with Kang, the less he is going to like the idea of feeling like Kang is trying to buy him.

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Although it was only a brief scene, I really appreciated getting to see Sailom and Kang together with Kang’s dad again in episode 5 because it continues to be fascinating having the outside perspective added to their relationship.

Both Kang and Sailom go on guard instantly when he walks into the room, and both show they are thinking of each other in subtle ways.

What first jumped out at me was that Kang — who is usually skittish and quieter around his dad — answered this for Sailom, even though the question was clearly directed at Sailom:

It almost read to me like he wanted to shield Sailom and keep his dad’s focus off him … Was he worried about his dad saying something to hurt Sailom? And then, these two kill me, because Sailom returns that protectiveness right back.

When Kongkeiat returns to being dismissive of Kang, Sailom goes so perfectly still for an instant.

Something flashes in his eyes that I can’t do justice to in screenshots. He is some swirling combination of angry or frustrated or deeply worried about Kang, who is sitting next to him looking like this even as he tries to fake a smile:

You can see Sailom’s mind running at full speed after as he also mostly fails to fake a smile — he’s logging this as another variable that has made Kang the way he is, and you can visibly tell how much he hates seeing it continue.

The way they care about each other often becomes most visible to me when they are physically around or talking about Kongkeiat and I will be very curious to see how (or if) that continues to change.

(also shout out to Grandma Ging who goes to bat hard for Kang in this scene. I wonder if he told her about feeling neglected specifically when he asked for Sailom to come back because she definitely seems to be looking at him with a new light this episode.)

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Pining!! Sailom in episodes 1 and 2

Although I admit I did not initially believe Sailom had been pining for Kang since the umbrella, I am OBSESSED with the reveal that he HAS BEEN. It completely changes the way I now view the first half of the show. Here are my rambles on parts 1 & 2 to start, with probably more parts to come later (update: next part here.

I feel like even before the Auto bullying reveal you can sense how exasperated Sailom felt. First and foremost at himself — like ‘why am I still so attracted to this asshole’. And of course also at Kang - who Sailom knows can be better than this entitled dick he keeps seeing.

Then, after the bullying reveal you have to wonder about moments like these. Sailom is so furious at the teacher and at Kang for hurting Auto, but you know there’s some part of him that shivers at the touch of Kang’s hand and hates himself for it.

This scene is so newly fascinating. He’s smart enough that he’s using his own attraction against Kang. He’s turning his years of want into a weapon!!

And he looks so proud of himself for it. I think a tiny part of him initially thrilled at being the sole focus of Kang’s attention — of having Kang’s hands on his collar and Kang’s face so close to his.

Likewise, how does this feel for him? He’s loved this boy since he was what — 13? — and now he has Kang’s arm around him and it’s all wrong but he still probably has to fight against the frisson of electricity he feels at Kang’s warmth all along his side.

Sailom has TOLD us that he still felt love in this moment, warring with the hate. Did this feel like his most secret, long hidden fantasies turned to nightmares?

His EYES. You can see him thinking ‘how did you become this person’ and ‘why can’t you be the boy I love again’ (and now we knowwww why — help I’m crying)

And once again he weaponizes those feelings. You have to think he’d been feeling so useless and frustrated that he couldn’t move on, even as Kang did so many awful things, it had to be both vindicating and heartbreaking to feel pushed to kiss Kang. To sacrifice the sweet, soft first kiss he’d been holding out for.

By episode two, he’s comfortable in the strategy of flipping his attraction right back at Kang.

But you can sense his weariness. He wants to be left alone to try to kill the last vestiges of the crush he’s held for so long and instead Kang keeps escalating — he’s always nearby, always touching Sailom. No matter how much Sailom tries to fight it, he keeps feeling this traitorous flutter of awareness at Kang’s attention.

I think he can’t stop mourning something he feels like he lost before he ever got to have. Sailom prides himself on his brain, and you have to think he doesn’t understand how he got it so wrong with Kang.

But what absolutely kills me is that in the end he wasn’t wrong. After all that internal struggle — after watching Kang do some truly horrible things and never entirely managing to give up on him — one night Sailom found himself in the midst of the most terrifying ordeal of his entire life. He found himself trapped by two scary drunk men threatening to permanently disfigure him.

And Kang saved him. The boy Sailom had loved for so long somehow appeared to scare those men away, like a fairy tale knight come to life. The boy who he’d never quite been able to stop believing in held him in his arms while he cried, then gingerly tended to his wounds.

Kang proved to Sailom that he’d been right to have faith in him. He showed Sailom he deserved his love. And both their lives irrevocably changed forever.

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Kang’s gradual and complete breakdown

On rewatch, we were given a significant number of clues as to how bad Kang’s mental state is going into his conversation with Grandma Ging:

First, he stops and looks in on his dad. It’s easy to imagine that Kang is remembering how excited he’d been at the newfound hope that they might be able to repair their relationship, but that now seeing him on life support, Kang’s wondering if he’ll ever get to talk to him again.

Then, Grandma Ging tells us two pieces of what I think are critical information — Kang was supposed to stay in the house but he left in the middle of the night.

The last time this happened, when she was in the hospital and the dad stayed, we know it was only Kang and Sailom in the house. So now, we can infer Kang would have been all alone with all those big, dark, empty rooms. He would have had nothing to think about but his dad is possibly dying and how he pushed Sailom away. He would have been helpless but to remember how Sailom was with him the last time — how back then they were on the cusp of becoming boyfriends.

Then, Kang asks this. He outright tells us he couldn’t sleep and he needed comfort.

We know Kang has trouble sleeping when he’s anxious.

It’s not hard to imagine that he’s been like this every night since Sailom packed his things.

@criticallyobs speculates in their reaction episode that “hug you to sleep” might have been something Kang did with his mom.

He’s also asked that of Sailom, on a night before important exams. (I’m not crying at the idea that Sailom has taken on a role Kang’s mom used to play!! My screen just suddenly got blurry!!)

So before she ever brings up Saifah, we know (1) Kang probably hasn’t slept in days, (2) Kang is anxious, (3) Kang has been drowning in worry for his dad and thoughts of Sailom.

Well, then immediately after he came to her for comfort, she asks him about the subject that’s been torturing him. And look at him — he looks sick at the idea.

He is a relatively simple thinker so he asks this. In his mind, why would Saifah confess if he were innocent? This is a great example of a situation where he would normally lean on Sailom to help tease out a complex topic but can’t anymore.

And then, it gets even worse. Because if he didn’t want to talk about Saifah when he walked into the room, do you know who he really didn’t want to talk about? Saifah’s brother.

Grandma Ging is telling him here, Saifah would not have done this because not being in our home badly hurts Sailom. Someone who loves Sailom would not want to see him hurt.

I feel like any time I defend Kang I need to put these screenshots in, because not doing so would seem like trying to hide these words. Which again, are terrible.

But I said before, in ‘In Defense of Kang’ that what Kang is actually doing here is (obnoxiously) trying to justify his own actions to himself. He’s leaning on words he’s probably heard from his dad. He CANNOT have been wrong about Saifah. That is impossible to think about, because then it means that he threw the person he loved into a “difficult situation” for absolutely no reason (leaving aside the fact that he handled the situation badly even if Saifah were guilty). Grandma Ging has just point blank told him, if you love someone you wouldn’t do something like this.

This is Kang’s face immediately after he gives that little speech. He doesn’t believe his own words. He very clearly feels worse than he did before he walked into the room.

He already knew on some level that he made a mistake in sending Sailom away the night Sailom first left.

But this is when the full magnitude of his actions start to hit him.

Kang had already been grappling with the knowledge that he’d badly wronged Sailom when Sailom called him. He got to experience exactly one second of hope that Sailom wanted to reconcile, only for it to turn into a waking nightmare. This initial anger is his fear and self loathing bursting out.

((I do want to caveat before I continue that I do not believe it is entirely Kang’s fault that Sailom turned to escorting. Sailom turned down a genuine offer of help from his friends.

But Kang’s actions indisputably played a role. And he was forced to see in horrifying detail the consequences of him depriving Sailom of his support.))

Seeing Sailom scared and groggy and confused, shirt still hanging open from his near assault showed Kang in painful detail exactly how badly he failed to take care of the person he loves. In the face of this, anger so so quickly gives way to overwhelming regret.

Kang’s breakdown here is the final escalation of how he’s already been feeling since the moment Sailom walked out of his house. The escort scene gave the final blow necessary for Kang to shatter. It ensured Kang will never ever forget the importance of his role as a protector.

However, Kang had already been well on his way here for days.

(Find Sailom’s version here)

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The way Kang finally stops and genuinely asks:

He doesn’t try to pull it open, he waits —

And he gets the reward of consent being finally given — Sailom letting him in into his heart instead of Kang trying to force his way inside.

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Kang, Sailom, and paper banknotes

I have been obsessed for several weeks now with the way Kang and Sailom flirt pass banknotes back and forth to each other -- often by tucking them in each others' pockets -- so I set out to document the major scenes where this happens. I'm starting to think these moments are intended to successively showcase the different stages of their relationship:

⏭Make Me a Cheat Sheet #1

First, Kang tries to bribe Sailom into helping him cheat. This is Kang testing the waters and thinking he can walk all over Sailom. Sailom is visibly shocked by this first instance.

⏭Money Can't Buy Everything

Only AFTER Kang fails his test using a fake sheet does Sailom return the money and reveal Kang's offer didn't work.

Um, excuse me, Sailom?? What are these looks that are positively dripping in sex and where have they gone lately?? How secure are you going to have to get in Kang's feelings for you to start seducing him like this again??

Sailom has used Kang's own trick to flip the tables and gain the upper hand. This moment is when he truly infuriates Kang, setting him on a warpath.

⏭Kang gets punched

Afterwards, Kang starts to really lose it and escalates the dickishness -- at this point he's cost Sailom his joke tutoring elementary students and has insulted Saifah's job so Sailom's patience is completely frayed.

Sailom picks a banknote up, clenches it in his fist, and SOCKS KANG IN THE FACE. Iconic. (And seen much better in this gif set than in my screenshots)

And not only that, but then he refuses money he could have genuinely earned:

(right before he throws it at Kang. Also iconic.)

In theory, this should be the end of their back and forth. Sailom snapped and Kang should have left him the fuck alone after. But no, because then Kang takes a gun to Sailom's house and THE GREATEST SCENE IN TELEVISION HISTORY HAPPENS, fundamentally altering the course of their relationship.

⏭Post Rescue

Okay so feelings have shifted between them. Kang is starting to feel guilty for the way he treated Sailom and now has a much deeper appreciation for how badly Sailom needs money:

Please note this is the THIRD pocket tuck we've seen on screen.

Kang has started to learn some tact and attempts to justify this as money Sailom genuinely deserves.

And we finally land on Sailom insisting he MUST tutor Kang to keep the money. (again much of this can be better seen in these gifs than my screenshots). Now, they are finally getting on more equal footing -- Sailom has made it clearl that he's only willing to accept Kang's money if he is legitimately doing a job for him.

⏭No money changes hands at all

And finally we have Kang offering Sailom money for a ride home -- which you could argue is fair; Kang is kind of ditching him. But when Sailom refuses, Kang only checks once, and then lets it go (the progress he's making!!). For now, they are almost true equals in this exchange -- Kang respects his choice and doesn't feel the need to force money upon him.

So all this is fun to track, but why is it important?

When Kang throws money in Sailom's face after catching him escorting again, it is going to be a major regression for them; so it should be one of the biggest low points for their relationship that we see on screen -- which also to me serves as evidence of what I will go on to say in bullet 2 (because otherwise THAT would be the low point)

If you subscribe to @respectthepetty's theory that Saifah is going to break into Kang's house (which I 1000% do), it is going to put Kang is a position where -- possibly counter to everyone else in his family -- he's going to have to choose whether or not to believe Sailom had nothing to do with it. But Sailom has shown him over and over again that he isn't willing to take Kang's money unfairly. So the foundation has thoroughly been laid for Kang to choose Sailom and for them to have to figure out a way to make their relationship work completely removed from a tutoring structure (because at that point Grandma Ging and Kang's dad would NOT be willing to give money to Sailom anymore . . . if they aren't in a coma, I SEE YOU pilot trailer).

The scene where they are happily throwing money together would be the first time they are taking the same action with banknotes at the same time -- this in theory should be one of the absolute strongest points of their relationship; when I would arguably expect their 'love scene' (as confirmed by PerthChimon) to happen [[I recognize you novel people are probably screaming at me!! don't tell me if I'm wrong!!]]

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Kang’s bids for affirmation

Since Kang and Sailom officially got together, I think Kang would leap to say that he’s happier than he’s ever been and that he feels loved and supported; I’m kind of shocked he hasn’t gone so far as to say that Sailom ‘completes him’ or is his ‘other half’ as those seem like the kind of ridiculously romantic things he likes. In the past two episodes, we’ve repeatedly seen him giggling and throwing out ridiculous pick up lines and draping himself over Sailom like an eager puppy.

But what’s stuck with me is the sheer number of times Kang has now asked Sailom for emotional validation. A little out of order—

First, the moment above. He was happy being cheesy and then abruptly got serious when he asked “Do you love me?” He even followed up to make sure Sailom understood he meant it:

He often asks questions like this, although that was probably the most explicitly he’s worded it to date:

(There is more happening in this ^ particular scene but he’s throwing Sailom’s own words back at him, so it’s clear he needs Sailom’s assurance specifically)

Those are all emotional bids. He also makes frequent requests for physical affection (asks for consent to be intimate), which are undeniably related on some level — but he’s also a teenage boy who wants to touch his boyfriend so they stand a little apart! I only captured two screenshots as I wasn’t initially looking for this so I know I’m missing more:

What all these asks tell me is that on some subconscious level Kang has recognized that Sailom is maintaining walls beyond them and it is making him anxious.

One of those walls came down last week when they had sex (putting in a screenshot just because I can and because I’m in love with this scene):

The bigger emotional walls — the ones that will be harder for to Kang recognize, let alone vocalize — remain, however.

The closest Sailom has come to admitting the depth of his feelings (that we’ve seen, not including the offscreen discussion about how long Sailom has liked him that I am STILL SALTY about missing) are these two moments:

But the first was truly a crisis situation. And the second one is a metaphor! He is not using the word “I” anywhere in there. He’s still keeping his feelings at a distance.

While Sailom is happy to be supportive and affectionate in many ways — cheering Kang on at football, coming on this trip with him, giving him so, so many hugs — those times are always focused on Kang. If Kang needs him for reasons that don’t have to do with their relationship, Sailom is there.

But Sailom has not given Kang the opportunity to repay that in any way (yet!). He pretty consistently acts like he does not need anything from Kang. He doesn’t admit to fears or insecurities or anything that makes him vulnerable.

In that very first scene above, Sailom never says “yes, I do love you”. He doesn’t even take a bite of the fruit Kang offers. Although he very much plays it off as a joke, this is what he says:

He’s now turned down Kang’s concerns about his debts twice. The first time, he left a door open — he focused it on his concerns about Kang giving up his football dreams and Kang was able to take comfort in the idea there was still a path for him to help Sailom:

The second time bears a deeper look because I think it genuinely upset Kang.

When they arrive at Khorat, Kang says this:

WE are super rich. He thinks of them as a package duo. What’s mine is yours.

But when Sailom shuts him down, he says this, with no further explanation:

Essentially — no, it’s YOUR money. (We are not a team in this)

And watch Kang. He physically recoils. He opens and closes his mouth like he wants to say something. And he’s silent for a pronounced period of time.

You can see him starting to think something along the lines of “I love you so much, why won’t you let me show you that?”

And then he asks what is an objectively bizarre question after Sailom has just TURNED DOWN HIS MONEY — ‘would you like me if I didn’t have any money’. He is starting to recognize that he needs more from Sailom — things he isn’t fully ready to put into words — and it misfires as this. It really feels — to me — like Sailom has been trying to prove, whether to himself or to Kang, that if he didn’t have Kang he would be “fine”. That he is self-sufficient and he could make his own way in the world.

On some level, this is admirable. But on another level, it’s drive by fear. He’s so scared of losing Kang that he’s actively keeping him at arm’s length.

And Kang is noticing.

When Sailom finally willingly lets Kang in — because he has to — I think he’s terrified that it’s going to scare Kang off. Instead, Kang is going to be so desperately grateful for the opportunity to be there for him. What Sailom thinks will ruin them will only heal an ever-increasing divide between them. It’s going to be beautiful to see.

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Kang literally TOOK A BULLET FOR SAILOM.

He has been FOLLOWING HIM AROUND TRYING TO KEEP HIM SAFE. (It’s fiction, I’m going to enjoy that whereas in real life I might feel otherwise.) He would not have been able to rescue Sailom in either the escort scene or the shooting had he not been.

He TOLD US that he didn’t want to be apart from Sailom.

He felt the crushing pressure of the fact that he believes Sailom’s brother shot his father. To quote @criticallyobs if you don’t see how that would be stressful, take a step back and think about how overwhelmed you would feel if your boyfriend/girlfriend’s sibling did that to your parent.

And he even got OVER THAT before learning Saifah is innocent. He slept side by side with Sailom and tried to defend him from the knock at the door STILL BELIEVING Saifah was guilty. Which means he needed time to process!! Which we’ve seen before!!!

I was mad too in part one but truly what more do you want from him??

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We haven’t talked enough about Sailom’s protectiveness in the hospital room:

At first, he’s being fueled by anger, and maybe there’s a level of naïveté here, where he doesn’t fully seem to process the threat in front of him.

But Kang immediately does.

While Sailom seems frozen, Kang desperately scrambles to get to his feet and in front of him.

Only then does Sailom recognize the full magnitude of the threat. He now understands this man means to kill them. He has felt the sharp intake of Kang’s breath; is holding Kang’s weight.

And at once Sailom is driven to act. He turns them, making sure he’s blocking Kang as much as possible.

Where he wasn’t scared before, now he’s terrified— he understands exactly the sacrifice he’s making for the boy he loves.

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

The Predetermined Path vs. The Terrifying Future

While on the surface, this episode seemed like it was setting up a basic love triangle, to me it was doing something much bigger. The scenes were structured to successively force Kang to come to terms with the fact that he's at a moment in time where for the first time in his life he can make a decision to chart his future. He can chose his faculty. And he can choose who he loves.

But this terrifies him. So much so that he retreats to the familiar -- his lifelong friend, his 'I don't care about studying' persona, and roughhousing, to name a few.

This starts from the very first scene.

Grandma Sukprasert calls him out on something that is borderline visible from space -- Kang's feelings for Sailom. Kang denies this repeatedly, then goes as far as to physically stuff food in his mouth to stop from talking.

It sits with him, though. He can't stop thinking about it to the extent Sailom notices he's distracted.

At this point, Kang is almost overwhelmed by this burgeoning realization. He smiles at Sailom with complete adoration then has to take a deep breath. Afterwards, he lays there for a minute, looking stunned.

Except of course, his rising giddiness is immediately interrupted. In the very next scene he's reminded -- don't want things too badly; don't pursue things where you have to try. His dad dismisses him in a way we know Kang's been hearing since his mom died.

The contrast to this face and his earlier smile at Sailom is heartbreaking.

But in a sad way, Kang is used to this. I think he's learned to suppress it. So he's still handsy with Sailom and still his normal, non-flirtatious self with Pimfah in the two next scenes after.

THIS is the moment where Kang truly cracks. His abrupt change in behavior to both Sailom and Pimfah stems from this moment.

In the library after this assignment is given, he's pale, he doesn't smile, he barely looks at Sailom, and he's fidgety. Then he gives this speech:

It's like my life has already been predetermined for me. I'm expected to get married. Start a family and eventually take over my father's business. This pattern seems to have been scripted for my life. I'm not even sure what field of study I want to pursue.

They were talking about what faculty they want to join!! It is very very very telling that Kang talks about getting married first. He is sitting with Sailom and he has been desperately wanting to be around Sailom so much, and he is realizing that is very much Not In The Plan.

Also, Perth kills this scene. You can hear in Kang's voice and see in every line of his body how lost and scared he feels. How is he supposed to choose a major? He's never been allowed to WANT anything before.

To compensate for this outpouring of emotion, he returns to roughhousing ("I just felt like snatching it"). This is the equivalent of running away to pee in a scenario where he probably can't get away with just getting up and leaving the table. But look at what he does right after:

This boy is going through it!! And from here on, after he gives this speech -- after he reminds himself and Sailom and the audience -- about The Path That Has Been Chosen For Him, is when he turns into Pod Kang.

The world won't let him stop thinking about college -- Sailom wants him to go an Open House and Kang's immediate first reaction is to say no. He wants to avoid having to make this hard choice. Except, when Pimfah walks up, you can see the idea spark for Kang. (Everything else is terrifying, but this is easy -- this is the person I have been told over and over I should be with since I was a kid)

At this point, Kang actively starts pushing Sailom away. This is different than anything we've seen before. He doesn't truly want to be alone with Pimfah. What is needs is distance from Sailom who is making him think about things can't handle right now (both college, as his tutor, and his confusing mix of feelings when they are together).

I particularly appreciate that they make it clear he is treating Pimfah differently than he has before:

She is CONFUSED by this compliment. She says "this is what I normally wear."

I also want to call attention to his face while the enviro guy is flirting with Pimfah. He mostly looks irritated to me. It's a very "my plan isn't working" kind of vibe.

Complete side note that detracts from the seriousness of this essay, but Kang being in awe of this animal being gentle with him really hit me in the heart. He likes feeling protective of people and things!! (Vet Kang major??)

I also think it's telling that he did NOT want this. He had the perfect opportunity to have her lovingly wipe him down (in his safe hetero fantasy world) and instead he stormed away. Because throughout here, he was going through the motions and he was more frustrated that it wasn't working than anything else.

Even after he reunites with Sailom and visibly relaxes/has fun for a while, the episode doesn't let you forget the main plot point: Kang needs to choose his future. Sailom seems to be able to tell that this is stressing him out and even tries to assure him a little.

You see Kang's pattern of retreat really come out when they talk about Communications -- he reverts back to talking about not wanting to study too much (whereas DR has SHOWN us that he is willing to study if he truly cares about something). I would predict that Kang's true course of study is not going to be an easy one -- he needs to find something he cares about enough that he's willing to work at it.

By far the moments Kang is happiest this episode are when he's distracted. When he's in the middle of an activity (whether drawing or singing) and he isn't having to think. In those instances, his feelings are so pure and so visible. He beams at Sailom with all the affection in the world. It's also important that in the scene above -- at the little concert -- he is feeling useful for the first time all episode. He knows he did something good and it's helping ease how overwhelming everything else is.

So, before this becomes even more insanely long than it already is, let's bring all this back to the final scene. First of all I find it interesting that Kang makes up an excuse and sneaks off in the dark to do his lock. He clearly showed earlier (via "You're an introvert" and his engineering tour wrangling) that he doesn't care about the idea of Sailom thinking he's into Pimfah. What he cares about most deeply (I think) is the act of participating in the ritual itself -- of admitting "I do want to come to college. I do care."

And that is scary enough on it's own that he has to tether it -- he has to latch it onto to Pimfah, who he's supposed to be with. He's taking one step out onto the ledge, but he is securing himself to the safest possible future.

Compare this face to when the guy was hitting on Pimfah earlier (because that was inserted very intentionally by the directors). He looks stricken now. Wouldn't the dreamy environmental science guy have gotten some kind of a similar reaction if Kang had real feelings for her?

Kang is upset here because it's Sailom specifically. He's simultaneously reconciling the loss of his comfortable, safe future -- what he had been using as a crutch all episode -- and the potential loss of his very real, messy, confusing feelings if Sailom ends up with Pimfah.

TLDR: As he is forced to make a major decision about his future (choosing a major) Kang panics. He's been told throughout his life not to want things and not to try, and therefore it's much easier and safer to stick to the familiar: his predetermined path. He starts pursuing Pimfah because that's so much less terrifying than admitting that he wants Sailom. He's feeling lost and he retreats to the person he's been getting shipped with his entire life.

Next episode (that preview!!), we're going to see Kang have to come to terms with his real feelings as Sailom retreats from him and then needs his care.

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Kang learning to fight for Sailom

If Kang feels this way, why was he such a dick to Sailom? I saw this question over and over again after last week.

To answer it, it’s important to look at their dynamic before their breakup.

Before they ever started dating — before they were even friends — Kang first noticed Sailom because he was willing to fight back. He looked Kang dead in the eye and he always found a way to one up him:

Then, once they grew closer Sailom consistently held Kang accountable and pushed him to be a better person:

But from the moment Saifah confesses, Sailom completely shuts down. He doesn’t protest when Kang walks away from him. He doesn’t knock on Kang’s door. He ‘plays’ along with letting Kang buy him in the escort scene. As I’ve mentioned before, Sailom had believed all along that that they were always going to come to an end, and so he accepts Kang breaking up with him as his lot in life. Sailom has never gotten to have nice things. Why would Kang be different?

Hear me when I say I’m not trying to argue that one of them is right or wrong — they represent two sides of a relationship with two very different perspectives. Even though I sympathize deeply with them both, I’m trying to show Kang’s side for the purpose of this essay because his is more confusing.

From Kang’s perspective, this is Sailom giving up on them. Kang initially pushed him away in a mess of grief and fear and anger. While he immediately regretted it, though, Sailom hasn’t said or done a single thing to indicate he cares they’re over. He hasn’t argued, he hasn’t begged, he hasn’t tried to stay. Where Sailom might have thought it was appropriate to leave the umbrella, it must have felt like a very definitive action to Kang.

Although Sailom cried in the escort scene, those tears could arguably be explained by the trauma of his experience. Kang wouldn’t have believed they were for their lost relationship (as much as it felt like it to us the viewer, seeing them hug).

So coming into episode 11, Kang feels deeply rejected. He feels like Sailom never needed him the way Kang did Sailom. He’s convinced himself Sailom doesn’t care. Which means Kang is frustrated and hurt.

@thirstkanaphan speculates that this is actually Kang trying to (badly) warn Sailom off escorting, which I think is very believable. These are bluntly delivered words that mask a much deeper concern.

@criticallyobs also adds that this is very believably Kang speaking to himself (“I won’t LET myself be concerned”; which, sure buddy, good luck with that).

Then, what’s the much worse scene — taking back the pin, makes even more sense to me. Because at first Kang is quiet. He’s been staring at Sailom with barely concealed longing all day.

He looks exactly like he did in episode four — like all he needs is a moment alone with Sailom in the bathroom to crack.

But instead of falling into his arms, Sailom thanks him. I love this gifset from @kangsailomthat shows his complete sincerity.

This is indisputably a farewell. This is a “we’re never going to see each other again”.

Kang is reacting to what he sees as Sailom permanently trying to leave his life. (Again, badly)

@thirstkanaphan also points out that this is (in Kang’s mind) his last chance to touch Sailom. In that scene you can see he’s fidgeting. His arms had been moving even before that. Taking off the pin was a discrete action he could take that gave him an excuse to physically touch Sailom.

Neither of them want this separation! Sailom is reacting to what he thinks Kang wants or needs. And Kang is taking the lead — as he does in VIRTUALLY ALL OTHER ASPECTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP — from Sailom. He is hearing and seeing that Sailom is seemingly fine with their breakup.

But Kang doesn’t want to be apart. He has not wanted to be apart since immediately after the haze of grief wore off after learning Saifah confessed. Kang either starts (or more likely continues, given how quickly he got to Sailom’s side after Sailom called him) following him. He keeps watching Sailom, making sure Sailom is okay. Which is how he’s able to save Sailom from the shooting.

From afar, Kang likely saw Sailom looking fine. Sailom smiles at multiple times when talking to his boss and Name. Sailom puts on a brave face with every single person he interacts with. The only time he shows a crack in the facade is when he’s hidden inside a car.

Seeing Sailom cry in the shower completely upends everything Kang has been telling himself. He sees first-hand how much their breakup has been tearing Sailom apart. He understands exactly how lost Sailom has been without him.

While up to this point, Kang has been being an ass — in part in the hope of getting Sailom to push back; to fight for them — in the shower he realizes that in their relationship he needs to be the one to take the lead. Whereas Sailom will push him in other aspects in his life, Kang has to be the one to fight for the two of them.

He recognizes in that moment that he needs to convince Sailom how serious he is about them. And then he resolves himself to continue protecting Sailom and their love from them on. (Demonstrated beautifully in this gifset by @tirpse)

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

A DEEP dive on the extra Dangerous Romance media

I just did a rewatch of all the extra Dangerous Romance media (which currently stands at five videos -- end credits, music videos, and trailers). In the process, I realized we've now seen a kind of shocking amount of the footage (I'd guess 80%? Something like that). Which makes me take special stock of everything else, as it could very believably be happening in the next couple of episodes.

So, pulling together some observations, questions, and other unhinged thoughts organized by broad themes about what we know is left:

Open House

Starting with this since we know it's next week. This episode seems like it's going to be full of shenanigans. Leaving aside everything we saw in the trailer (Pimfah teasing them, Sailom agonizing over what to wear, CPR, drawing each other, Sailom stuffing lettuce in Kang's face, another prolonged BL pause) we also get --

Attaching locks together! Kang's hand up top! Look at Sailom's smile!

Sports Day

Another day we know is coming up. This one looks sooo cute, as do they in those fresh polos.

We see both Kang making some kind of delivery to Guy/Auto/Sailom and then Kang passing some kind of note to Sailom with a very 'only two people in a crowded room' vibe.

Football Games

There seem to be two significant football games (it physically pains me not to write soccer) based on uniforms (maybe one is part of Sports Day and Kang gets roped in to play? Uncertain).

During one (lighter uniforms) -- Kang makes a penalty kick. Almost all the friends are in the stands together!

The second, darker uniform game, Kang also does something hot to dodge a defender to score, and the friends are together again. Interesting note that a much larger crowd seems to be at this game.

And Kang DTRs! The way he words this makes it sound at least to me that they have talked about potentially being boyfriends before this (see more commentary on this below). It also seems very likely that the answer is yes:

Market Adventure

I am so excited for this one!! I was going to say I can't begin to speculate what's happening here, but that's a lie because my guess is it's shopping for Sports Day. We get the bus fall and utterly whipped (feverish?) Kang stare! A cute casual lunch date! The return of casual clothes Kang! Kang fainting and Sailom protectively cradling him in his arms! Kang completely out of his element seeing what the real world is like!

The Return of Escorting

Much has already been said about this. Reiterating that I am firmly in the camp that this may spell the (temporary) end of this honeymoon period we're about to be living in and also that I am scared to see the return of angry, bully Kang, which will have been a long time coming by that point. However, I have one genuinely new observation to add that I don't think I've seen anywhere else!

Sailom's shirt is SIGNIFICANTLY more open when Kang pushes him onto the bed. I want to know how that happened. Did the buttons get ripped off? WHO ripped or undid them? I would pay real money for it to have been creepy old man and that to partially be what Kang is reacting to.

They Cute

I have no real observations here except kisses!! I like that it's Sailom who does the kissing in the upper right. Also for a rich boi Kang loves that black ripped tank which I appreciate because I love him wearing it.

(I had to delete a photo where he was also wearing it and they were basically holding hands over Kang's laptop while Kang pretended to wipe something on Sailom's face. Both cute and disgusting. Disgustingly cute.).

Romantic Rides

I really love the idea of them taking romantic rides together as dates. Not pictured but should also count is the red sweater Kang "would you still like me if I didn't have money" ride to the windmills.

Also as several people have pointed out, the late night kissing ride seems to be the same night as the happy money throwing scene.

And then they were roommates

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS IN THIS CATEGORY

What are they talking about?? Why are they in bed together? Is this before or after they start dating? How can Sailom look so convincingly nonplussed with Kang making those eyes at him??

Is this another breakup era pining type thing? Or are they standing on opposite sides of the same door but separated by other circumstances??

And WHAT is happening here?? I have so many guesses but I would be embarrassed to even put them in writing. I don't think Sailom would be the one to go blushing maiden between them, would he?? So is something else supposed to be happening? Is Kang trying to coax him into the shower together and Sailom protesting because Grandma is home? Seriously, please share your guesses.

Other Misc

Finally a small selection of random things.

First, I am curious about this handholding but also this dialogue:

This is Sailom speaking here. Whereas in a different voiceover Kang asks "What's our deal?" and then later if Sailom will be his boyfriend. So including the soccer hug scene that seems like four different times one of them tries to figure out what's up between them. They eventually stop being so dumb!

I am really excited for this particular scene because I think it's sweet that when(?) Sailom is living with Kang they still wind up studying at Sailom's house.

Last but not least, I have ZERO guesses here. Is this a bar?? This sure doesn't seem like English practice. Why does Sailom seem so unhappy?

((Also not included, some of the big obvious moments that have been wildly speculated about like Sailom getting shot at, Kang rescuing him on his bike, Sailom's brother's arrest, and the shower crying scene, all of which are going to be glorious.))

Please share your thoughts and guesses about any of the above!!

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

The umbrella as a symbol of protection

From the moment Kang rescues Sailom in episode 2, he takes on the role of the protector in their relationship in both their minds.

Sailom chooses to trust Kang from episode 3 onwards because when it truly mattered, Kang proved to him that he would keep him safe.

And Kang consistently starts protecting Sailom, in a variety of different ways.

Jealousy notwithstanding, whenever he sees Sailom looking uncomfortable, he immediately jumps in:

He also worries about Sailom:

And he takes care of Sailom when he is sick:

When Kang gives him the second umbrella in episode 4, it becomes the physical representation of Kang’s steadfast determination to keep him safe, happy, and comfortable.

The narrative then uses this in interesting ways:

First, after Sailom gets fired as Kang’s tutor in episode 4, he’s shown walking sadly in the rain. He thinks he’s lost Kang. But he still has Kang’s umbrella. Kang is desperately worried about him — Kang is going to figure out a way to make up for failing his midterm.

And similarly, although Kang turns him down in the art room in episode 6, Sailom still has the umbrella.

No matter what Kang said aloud, he loves Sailom. It is KANG who gets pelted with rain — he is punished by the elements for lying.

The only time Sailom gives the umbrella back is when he comes to live under Kang’s roof — when he has an even stronger, wider form of protection overhead.

Side note: I need to call attention to this line below which destroyed me when I finally caught it. LET ME HELP YOU — that is what Kang keeps asking Sailom over and over in different ways.

The use of the umbrella as a symbol is most pronounced during their fight in the rain. Sailom loses hold of the umbrella as Kang shoves him. In this moment, he has no protection because it is Kang who is hurting him. Kang is pushing him, he’s yelling in Sailom’s face, and Sailom is thus getting soaking wet.

I am very interested in the way Dangerous Romance will use the umbrella moving forward — in both directions, happy and sad.

Because there are actually TWO umbrellas. They could each use one, showing they are protecting each other.

Or they could stand underneath the same one together (a kiss in the rain??)

But this could also go horribly wrong. If Sailom leaves Kang’s house, he could leave the umbrella behind, showing that he’s turning down Kang’s protection.

Or, if Kang breaks up with him, the umbrella could physically break.

So many possibilities!! And to our knowledge, Kang still doesn’t even know he’s the one who gave Sailom it in the first place.

All this to say, when he was a child, Sailom accepted a gift of an umbrella and that simple kindness stuck with him. But then for many years after, Sailom felt — he was shown by both the world and his brother — that he needed to be self-reliant. He prided himself on it, even as his life felt like this exhausting, never ending series of math calculations and worry.

But then in the most terrifying moment of his life, Kang saved him, comforted him, and nursed his injuries. Although it was not initially Sailom’s choice, from then on, Sailom began to see Kang as a source of strength and support.

His choice to accept Kang’s umbrella the second time was the physical manifestation of him finally letting someone share the load — allowing Kang look after him. And Dangerous Romance consistently uses the umbrella to show us that even in those moments when Sailom feels hopeless that Kang still cares for him — will always want to protect him.