#koopa krag

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Koopa Krag

Debut: Mario Party DS

Get a load of this GEEZER. Most elderly Koopa in town! You can tell he is old because he has gray hair. And you can tell he has gray hair because they gave him big ol' eyebrows and a beard, so that he would have some hair to be gray!

They are really such impressive eyebrows. So long. So solid! They're like curtains! Or like a little dog's ears! These are eyebrows that would billow in the breeze.

They are a lot like those of Kroop from The Thousand Year Door! The 2000s was THE decade for elderly Koopas with massive eyebrows! I wonder if they were adhering to a style guide with these. A Mario Bible. Okay, three paragraphs about eyebrows is enough. It is time to talk about the turtle behind the eyebrows! And you will learn what he is holding in that first picture. Is it a glowing corn kernel? Let us find out...

Koopa Krag is the grandfather of a Koopa named Koopa, and he has been trapped inside of a book by Kamek. We never learn why. But isn't it obvious? They are clearly bitter ex-lovers. Such tension between two elderly turtle men can mean nothing else!

The second most likely reason is, Koopa Krag simply knew too much. He knows a lot of things, somehow. He's like the new Toadsworth! He knows what the Magic Jars in Kamek's library will contain even before they are opened, so I guess he has some kind of magical ability. Perhaps channeling energy through his brows...?

See that blue tower in the upper right corner of Bowser's Pinball Machine? It holds a secret... and Koopa Krag might know what it is! The game tells us this, and nothing else about it. I'm honestly charmed by how mundane that is. Yeah, this one guy might know a little tidbit about this other guy's custom pinball table. Or he might not. It's like the game's writer just hangs out around listening in on characters' conversations. Anyway, I think the tower probably contains a pinball, considering it's above the plunger, and also considering that this is a pinball table where no actual pinballs are visible.

Why would Koopa Krag know about Bowser's pinball machine? That's easy. Kamek would let him play it! Back before the divorce... :(

In the end, of course, Koopa Krag is freed through the act of a bunch of little guys running around and partaking in wacky minigames. He gives the heroes the treasure he has found, which is a Sky Crystal, which is really just the Thing The Characters Are Collecting. It is not actually a very interesting thing, but it puts basic plot on the table.

I think Koopa Krag is cool! He only appears in this one game, and is only relevant in two story mode cutscenes, but through flavor texts, they make him really feel relevant to this little snippet of the Mario world. He really does feel like he could be a Toadsworth. Toadsworth may be forbidden for unknown reasons these days, but if they ever need a Nice Wise Old Guy for future Mario games, I have just written a letter of recommendation for one!