#ksdjagh

[possum-teethz]

Cosmos, galaxies, waxing, full moon, night light, nightmare (you don't have to answer this one if you don't want to; it's entirely optional; I just think that it's the kind of thing that can say a great deal about a person), soothing (put this one slightly out-of-order because it seems to make for a better order poetically), Earth.

Sorry this is so late, but !! THank you for the ask!!! :D!!!!

cosmos: what’s one thing you wish you could say to someone you are no longer friends with?Oh gosh this got long I didn’t realize how much pent up salt I have abt this: No, I shouldn’t have to respect you if your belief was against my existence. Yes, I’m old enough to know I’m not straight. You said that me telling you that I appreciated you were “nice” about being homophobic to my face was manipulative. You being nice and sugar coating the fact that a large part of my personality and a major key to myself was something you hated, was manipulative. Telling me that you were the oppressed one for being religious and putting me in the spot where I’d be labeled as the bad person for defending my Existence was manipulative. 

You sat under the claim of “love the sinner, hate the sin,” But when you tell me that me being LGBT influenced you to want to accept gay headcanons, write with me, and consume so much of those two years to what we worked on with our stories… I’d like to hope that you realize that wasn’t me making you want to sin. I’d hope it was you realizing that it’s okay to accept homosexuality. 

You writing stories with me with sga characters gave me hope that you accepted me as well. 

And then you left me. On my birthday. Because of the story we wrote, and because of me. Moreso because of me being gay than anything.

Left me, the person who was finally proud of identifying as bisexual at the time, because “the story we were writing is why we have to not speak anymore” But didn’t leave the other friend we had who helped write the same thing. The main difference? She was straight. 

You still speak to her. And she’s still your best friend. 

We speak now and we’ll talk occasionally, we’ll visit eachother’s page every so often, but there’s nothing there. A part of my existence is our disconnect and you’ll never break through that wall again. 

You can’t accept something I’m proud of, and I can’t accept you for that. You worsened my debilitating fear of replacement and the overwhelming anxiety of the slightest abandonment, under the claim that me, accepting your discontent with who I loved and who I wanted to date and what I felt comfortable describing myself as, was manipulative. Me standing and accepting and allowing you to berate a key of who I was, under the press that otherwise you would claim to be the one who’s oppressed, that was not manipulative. That was not me manipulating you, but me being the one who was manipulated.

It’s almost been three years, this still affects me, and it doesn’t affect you. 

You claimed to leave to protect yourself from homosexuality, I’m leaving to protect myself from someone who never accepted me in the first place. Had I done that in the first place, maybe It’d have less of an affect on my anxieties and insecurities I still have today.

I’m not a Sin. Read correctly and uncritically. And then come to me to peach.OKAY IM SO SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG IM SALTY KSDJAGH

Galaxies: what are three things you want to do before you die?

Uhh!!! 1: Probably live on my own/with a partner!! And with that, at least One (1) dog 2: Go to japan !! I have an opportunity to next year, actually!! My school has a sister school in Japan, and every other year, a handful of students can fly there for about three weeks in the summer as a student exchange for a week/tour fir the other two week program !! In return, we also have students from there who fly to japan! I want to get a job to help save up for the flight, but I just don’t know if I wanna be away from home so far for so long :’0! 3: Recover and learn to cope and work with my mental illness as much as possible so I don’t have to live the rest of my life like a Depressed Fuck adksjghNight light: who/what makes you feel safe?  Dare I be cheesy and say my boyfriend bc !! I love him !! And he’s always so supportive and comforting when I need it and its so good and hes so patient and its always so comforting and safe :’) Also my friends !!!! Even though its been a hwile since I’ve talked to them !!! Also you!! (You as in the person who sent this Ur amazing tbh :’) I really do appreciate everyhting you do for me!)Nightmare: what are you most afraid of?In a broad perspective?? Inadequacy I guess??? Not being as important to other people as they are to me? And also abandonment. Oh, and moths!

Soothe: what’s one thing that always makes you feel better when you’re upset?Honestly being able to feel the love and support others give me when I’m upset !! Also hot chocolate helps a bit. And coping through magic and stuff; even if its only small doing small spells or charms for the night or just to try and add a better atmosphere ?? It gives at least a tiny bit of comfort and sense of control