#kurim writes hsr

[kurim-chis]

blade/yingxing x reader scenario:

kurim: blade’s past name was yingxing, supposedly

(blade sees your smile, beautiful and loving and inviting as he remembers you to be — when he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and pretends he can have this, at the very least. you were so lovely, so very lovely, and the man he once was - yingxing - had truly loved you in a way he could not love anyone else)

you and yingxing were lovers, decades ago when he was still part of Xianzhou and you a person he fell in love with, yingxing liked building you trinkets and taking you to eat during the weekends and seeing your smile and he would throw hands with jing yuan because he always teased him and called him a love sick puppy

you and yingxing were some of the short-lived species in Xianzhou, you were content in XXXX area and yingxing was a genius amongst genius in crafting, building and creating tools, machinery, weapons and works of arts.

you and yingxing had your whole life planned out, it was not hard to when there was so much to do and so little time to do it, but you two are determined to make your lives count despite the looming threat of the abundance hanging over their head and the wars Xianzhou has to partake in and how nothing is determined in life, but you two love each other, but then this happens, but then that happens, but but butbutbutbut—

yingxing becomes mara-struck.

yingxing kills you in his first mara-struck rampage/haze.

yingxing will forever remember it - your blood is very warm and wet, even as he drops to his knees and tries tries tries but there’s nothing he can do because you’re already dead — he might have screamed, howled until his throat burst and his lungs collapsed and mended themselves, he might’ve had fought against jingliu too as well, he doesn’t quite know. he cannot remember anything apart from a red haze, doesn’t remember if you had screamed or tried to fight back or tried running away, but one look at you shows just how horrible a death you had experienced in your last moments. blade will have forever etched the image of your mangled body in his memory, because of course yingxing will have.

this is the first step towards the death of yingxing’s ego, and what will eventually create blade, an abomination who seeks for death and yet is denied time and time again, who is only left with vengeance and violence as a driving force for moving and breathing and fighting because he has nothing else

yingxing was a man who committed many great mistakes and paid for it with everything in his life, including the one he loved

blade is the remains of that man’s ego, the hatred and grief and anger and obsession and destruction and love, a monster given eternal life and reduced to a mad dog of destiny’s slave, all for the sake of reaching paradise

blade lives for the sake of dying — he lives for death, for vengeance, for the possibility of paradise

(blade sees your smile, beautiful and loving and inviting as he remembers you to be — you smile and smile and smile, perhaps a little sad but as lovely as he remembers and he wants to reach out for you with his bloodied hands, but you are unreachable, a ghost of his past, the victim of his sins, and he can do nothing but watch you stand on the other side of the river of stars. blade thinks that you’re as lovely as yingxing remembers you to be, waving at him, smiling at him, always smiling at him)

elio promises an ending to his wretched existence.

blade will stop at absolutely nothing to reach his desired paradise.

(you smile at him, and blade thinks that you still look so very lovely, decades after your death)

i’m sorry, i’m sorry, forgive me, forgive me, it was all my fault, if only i hadn’t—

(you only smile, and then blade opens his eyes to find his mangled body healing and mending and stitching together again)

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[kurim-chis]

this post in a nutshell: the Vidyadhara cycle can get a bit fucked up. sometimes. a lot of times. all the time, if you really think about it.

Note: i also blame my philosophy teacher. he was an awesome teacher, but philosophy class always made me question my own existence…

i think Dan Heng is right in wanting absolutely nothing to do with Imbibitor Lunae’s past and very clearly states he is NOT Lunae. However despite Dan Heng’s wishes and many people empathizing with him, in my opinion, it boils down to this:

the mentality of being a Vidyadhara

A case of “shut the fuck up and don’t spout bullshit, you don’t know how it feels, experience it yourself and then you know how hard it actually is”

First Note: Vidyadhara are just built differently — physically, mentally, and psychologically

For the vidyadhara, it’s their natural life cycle to be reborn with a clean slate every 700 years, possessing no reproduction capability and being immortal as long as they underwent the reincarnation process. They see it as normal and a “matter of fact” thing, and xianzhou natives do too, but can other non-vidyadhara species truly understand this? It’s kind of like how other species see things differently and have different morals from humans.

It’s a bit of a mind-fuckery because a vidyadhara is always the same person, but they always will get a clean state, and yet depending on each incarnation they might turn out completely different.

So they’re the same, but they’re also not.

Second Note: don’t say any bullshit until you’re the one going through it, then you will realize how hard it is

Basically this. Perhaps some aren’t going into a breakdown when their vidyadhara friend just deletes them from their life (or well, the vidyadhara is deleted and born anew), and they try to accept it because they’re too old and are wise enough to accept their lot in life, but there are others who are just bamboozled by it, even though they must have thought they were prepared for it. exhibit 1) Jing Yuan

Even the vidyadhara are not excerpt from this.

There’s a vidyadhara mirage who says his vidyadhara lover just went into an egg. To the race, this is a normal cycle of life. She won’t remember him. She will be the same person born anew. She will be a different person too. She can’t be burdened with anything of her past incarnation. He knows she is not dead, but he stares at the rolling waves and feels as if she is because he cannot and as a vidyadhara he must not see her reincarnation as HER.

But his feelings won’t matter, do they? This mirage said he couldn’t wait for his turn to come, but this wouldn’t guarantee him another future with his lover because CLEAN STATE you know? After returning to his egg, being reborn anew, then all of this — his grief, his solitude, his love — won’t matter anymore because he will also stop caring about it as well. It won’t matter. They won’t matter. The only thing that matters is their new life, but at that point that is NOT going to be the life of their incarnation, is it?

This is such a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps in “another life” he had also thought this, had also grieved for someone else or been grieved in return, but those lifetimes don’t matter in the same way his current one won’t matter after he reaches 700 years old.

“So you’re gonna be reborn after another 157 years? That’s how your race keeps being immortal and wards off the mara disease? Just the way you were created by Permanence? Cool.”

“So you’re the SAME but also a DIFFERENT person every time you go into an egg? That’s kinda trippy, but OK.”

“What will happen after that? Will we still be friends when you wake up?”

and the next time your friend appears, they are a child and you are absolutely no one to them

(…)

(how is this immortality?)

(my friend/brother/sister/parent/mentor/student/comrade/lover has not forgotten, because this is not something as simple as forgetting, this is a clean state — in a way only the vidyadhara, transcendent and celestial, can achieve. a cruel severing of everything you had to do with them.)

(they are gone, and in their place is a child with a clean state)

(it’s as if they are dead and you’re left to deal with a legacy—)

So despite what Dan Heng says and the Vidyadhara culture, I can also see why Jing Yuan struggles and is pained by the sight of Dan Heng. And also why Xianzhou deems Dan Heng guilty.

I also can understand why Blade is so enraged at Dan Heng and refuses to back down or stop trying to kill him (Blade being insane put aside) due to his incarnation’s sins, because how UNFAIR would it for Imbibitor Lunae to get a clean state just like that? What, they’re same person? But they get to start over as a NEW person? All his sins like that, gone? What sort of bullshit is that?

Just. This whole vidyadhara reincarnation thing can get very, very fucked up, you know?

[kurim-chis]

“The one who buried the beloved, was also you.”

—— blade/yingxing x reader (VERY lightly implied dan feng x you)

BACKGROUND: You're a short-lived species who arrived to the xianzhou alongside Yingxing in the merchant ships (perhaps childhood sweethearts??), you've been in a relationship for a few years now and while Yingxing is gruff and rough around the edges, he's nevertheless besotted with you and fiercely in love with you; a happy ending to this story seems likely —— until you get struck with the mara-disease.

AKA this is half-assed narrative and half-assed word vomit, I just want to add more pain and suffering to Blade's past while being self-indulgent trash :D

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yingxing has seen the mara disease so many times before, during the war and within the ships with their citizens, especially once their times passed the five hundred mark and madness slowly creeps in. their faces had mostly been obscured by golden flowers and twisting branches the first time he saw the corpses, but throughout the years he's seen many variations of them.

faces contorted in agony, twisted in fear and despair, or slack and numb as roots wriggled out of their skin and flowers bloomed over their eyes, and most often they would be driven into mara-struck madess and insane bloodlust in their rampages.

yingxing never expects the mara to fall upon you.

if yingxing tries to look back on it, perhaps it had started way more earlier than they'd known — perhaps it was the itching, the little scratches healing faster than they should, the headaches and the daydreaming. it doesn't quite strike either of you until one day you are screaming as golden lines split your skin, as little branches claw their way out of your arms, and small buds blossom from the wounds on your flesh. it's sudden and unexpected and terrifying and you are hunched over yourself trembling and shivering and sweating as he tries to hold you, a hand hovering over the tiny blossoms that grows out of your neck and collarbone, the tiny roots wriggling out of your arms, and it gets progressively worse from thereon.

this can't be happening, you say

i'm scared, you say

please believe me, you say

(because you're a short-lived species, and the only way you could've been struck with mara like this is for you to receive the plague author's blessing)

yingxing believes you (yingxing loves you)

you are frightened and terrified and yingxing can only hold you through the tears and terror and confusion and pleasedon'thatemeyingxing

perhaps, if it had been just the blessings of the abundance, it would've been fine. there are countless individuals within the ship who use the power of the abundance in medicine and aid, after all. but roots continue to wiggle and settle over your skin like bangles and chains, golden flowers begin sprouting from the buds in your flesh, and even your eyes and hair starts losing their colors.

you try to snip the blossoms and the locks of hair and the branches, and the wounds only heal over and over and over again, each time faster than before, the blooms brighter and livelier than the last, and the tips of your hair take on the color of dry blood and your eye color melt into the gold of the mara disease.

you are in pain, you are in agony and miserable, and eventually, even your memories and sense of self start deteriorating amidst a haze of golden petals and blood.

you start asking if it would be better to die "while you still can" (you are afraid of becoming like the mara-struck soldiers in the game), but yingxing doesn't allow you to.

this cannot be happening, yingxing thinks.

it breaks yingxing to watch you like this, but no one else can know. xianzhou will see you dead for suspicions of worshipping the plague author. he can only hold you during the nights and soothe your fits until you settle like a docile beast in his arms, and then during the day, he researches

yingxing puts aside the forgery for as long as he possibly can without arousing suspicions and throws himself into mara research discreetly, but there's not much he can find. access to advanced texts are restricted and he only learns about as much as anyone interested in the mara disease knows, but one thing is for sure —— there's no documented recovery from the mara in the centuries of the xianzhou history.

become mara-struck, and you either die in a flurry of golden flowers or are striked down by the cloud knights.

(there's another thing yingxing eventually finds out, as well —— this is no accident. someone caused this to you)

(yingxing will hunt them down to the farthest reach of the stars, and he will not stop until they are dead. whoever did this will wish they hadn't been born.)

if yingxing cannot find anything about how to recover from the mara, perhaps then he could find a way to control the disease, prevent it from hurting you as it was doing now, prevent it from turning you into a mad creature. it wasn't too late yet, and yingxing refuses to give up on you.

yingxing turns to imbibitor lunae and the scalegorge waterscape — the sacred abode of the vidyadhara, a race devoted to the sealing and guard of the ambrosial arbor, and that becomes one amongst the many mistakes he will have commited.

in the future, the man - yingxing - who will become known as blade will look back on this moment and laugh — madly, loudly, hatefully, as he lives on cursing his life and that of two other sinners.

you are dead, and yingxing could not save you

you are dead, and blade wants to die

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BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CONTINUE NARRATING:

There are a LOT of layers to what I want to be happening in the premise of this short. For example, I wanted to write that the ones responsible for "you", as a short-lived species, going mara-struck was a result of sabotaging and conflict with Sanctus Medicus (or whatever antagonist there is during the events of Dan Feng and Yingxing's crimes), who wanted to sow strife amidst the Xianzhou. There's a lot of plot going on that my little brain can't be bothered to rationalize.

During his research on mara and trying to find out HOW you turned mara, he begins suspecting of foul play and unearths quite a bit of shit within the Xianzhou. There's a lot of sketchy shit, some not related at all to what he wants to know, and it paints numerous targets of Yingxing.

Their main targets would actually be Jing Liu (who some time later on succumbs to mara and goes on a murderous rampage) and many other higher ups and important figures to different areas of the Xianzhou. In trying to discreetly trigger or infect mara to others, they also partook in indiscriminate damage in hopes one of their targets will be caught unawares and be infected with something that can trigger or coax out the mara disease, and "you" were caught in the crossfire and ended up mara struck (or perhaps you were intentionally targeted as well, can't decide on this) as a short-lived species collateral. Many of the other short-lived species die during this period of time.

By some twist of fate or whatever, your descent into mara isn't instantaneous and is instead painful, slow and with a clear consciense of the changes in your body, but it's only slowed, and your body can't adjust to mara like how Blade and Jing Liu will in the future.

Ying Xing, however, clings to the hope you can mantain your clarity and sense of self, and what he wanted to do in this short is research the vidyadhara's records to see if he could seal away your mara or contain your disease. When that wasn't enough, he will perhaps 1) try to find some other way, 2) try to see if Dan Feng can find a way to contain your mara disease, or at least delay it until something can be done because this wasn't your fault.

Instead, what happens is that Dan Feng kills you.

Dan Feng sees you and you are half consumed with flowers even though you aren't being violent or crazed, you've tanked the attacks of many other cloud knights and mara-struck alike and are covered in blood and tatters while everyone's dead. Your sins are set in stone (are they really?) and your ending is only a matter of time, so Imbibitor Lunae - although pained - decides to put you down and lay you to rest. He tries to kill you - and either fails or obliterates your sense of self so all that remains is a corpse that keeps healing - and then seals/buries your regenerating body into the Scalegorge Waterscape.

Dan Feng's actions are an act of compassion, love and mercy in his eyes. He buries you in Scalegorge Waterscape, where your rest will be undisturbed and none shall desecreate your body, not even the Xianzhou will be able to part the seas of Scalegorge.

But that and what Yingxing sees are different. (they also think differently lmao)

After Yingxing reaches Scalegorge amidst all the chaos that would be happening, he would only know you were hurt very, very badly. Blood, flowers, tattered clothes. Lots of fighting, arguing, etc.

Ending is that - as mentioned - despite his efforts otherwise, Yingxing sees your body cast into the abyss of the Scalegorge Waterscape and sealed there, left to rot in the darkness and cold of an artificial sea.

Afterwards, he himself becomes mara-struck and then is sent of to be killed over and over again by Jing Liu lmao. He wants to die, but he cannot.

At some point in time, he almost forgets that his name is Yingxing and he had loved someone who died unjustly amidst internal conflict and everything, but it comes back to him when he escapes and becomes Blade.

EVERYTHING here is just self-indulgent brainstorming. NGL it could've been better.

[kurim-chis]

I’ve been in the hell of reading HCs of HSR in some chinese apps and i LOVE how they write Blade — cold, gruff, vicious, emotionless on the surface, but he’s just JJDJXKKVJRJEIXIKWJXNFJFIFJR melting on the inside, loves you so much, oblivious to normal interactions, is afraid of hugging you too hard (what if he breaks you???), doesn’t quite understand “love” but he’s honest enough to admit to himself he wants to see you safe and happy and will murder anything that tries to put a scratch on you

Literally the man who while walking with reader (he was dragged into it), and reader trips, he doesn’t say anything and just stares at them with his detached dead eyes, then LATER Blade comes back and fights the air: who the FUCK do you think you are who the fucj

Just a man who looks highly intelligent, cold, detached and emotionless being an idiot. Silver Wolf often laughs at him.

and even if your time together is short, even if he will live long past you, even if the farewell that comes nearer day by day fills him with a dark, ugly fear and just thinking of the future where you will inevitably die makes him want to die on the spot

(and he can’t, he will be left behind as you pass on to a place he cannot reach, not unless Elios—)

he wants you, he wants you, he wants you

the future spells nothing but tragedy for this story, but Blade is destructive enough to crave for it (for you)

[kurim-chis]

Honkai Star Rail: Funny Info about MC

Did you know that the Female MC and Male MC are both in the title of Honkai Star Rail? Or technically the name of the “Receptacle”, which is either Receptacle Stelle or Receptable Caelus. The “vessels”.

Honkai Star Rail’s title is 崩坏：星穹铁道

Stelle’s name is 星。

Caelus’s name is 穹。

星(Stelle)穹(Caelus)铁道

When I see their name in chinese, it’s really cute because of how simple they are, only 1 word. Stelle’s name is simple, “Star”. Caelus’ name I think depends, because 穹 can mean “Vastness”, “Vault”, “the Firmament”，but i’m going to go with Vastness.

So 星穹铁道 would be “Railway of the Vast Stars”, the path where Stelle/Caelus will tread as Trailblazers.

Or uh, well. O just think it was kinda cool.

ALSOOOOOOOO FUNNY but just realized that Pom-Pom in the CN text is actually just 帕姆，”Pàmû/Pam/Pom”. IDK why the english version decided to double the Pom for Pom-Pom. Maybe because it’s cute?

[kurim-chis]

blade x reader snippet

Blade is a broken man who can barely function without resorting to violence and murder and is prone to fit of madness if he’s arbitrarily triggered even by accident. He is a dangerous monster now, one he himself is disgusted by, how could he ever dare enter a relationship with someone he actually cares about when he is a persistent danger to their life?

It would be a long arduous road filled with miscommunication, misunderstanding, overthinking, anguish and tragedy before you or Blade would ever be able to get together. But. It’s possible. This man would treasure you quietly and fiercely, the image of a murderous hunting dog that turns into a puppy with a wagging tail at the sight of you.

I love the characterizations of Blade where he is cold and rough and detached but JAKDKFKFKF when he cares HE CARES. He will murder for you. He will fuck up a bitch for you. He would also melt into a puddle of goo and squirm if you kiss his cheek or temple or hold his hand and squeeze or just JAJDKFKDKKFNF gib this man a hug. To me he’s kind of like a man who’s perfectly OK for heated rated stuff but fluffy affection? No. Brain cannot compute. (i blame jing liu)

Although. If Blade falls in love with you then he is a different Blade altogether, because perhaps he might consider a life worth existing - he might consider stop craving for his death, he might seek a life with you.

The moment he acknowledges his affection and love for you, he will stop being only Blade, and he might even regain bits of what had made him Ying Xing. He might remember what being happy is like. He might find joy in being alive again instead of seeing misery, agony and disgust in his very existence.

but then you die :)

i lub him <3 uwu

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[kurim-chis]

Writing down a word-vomit post about Blade's happenings.

(THIS BLOG HAS SPOILERS!!!!)

It seems that, according to the mirages’ speech during the newest patch, he used to be a “short-lived species” prior to whatever happened in Xianzhou Luofu that made Dan Feng into one of their greatest criminals and Blade into what he is today. However he was one of the “xianzhou quintet” characters, so it stands to see if he’s short-lived like us normal humans or compared to Xianzhou natives.

An event occurred which shook up Xianzhou and possibly these events took place:

Jingliu mara-struck. Goes insane. Survives.

Dan Feng committing a great crime and being known as a traitor and sinner, infamously to the point most people recognize and acknowledge Imbibitor Lunar to be Xianzhou Luofu’s greatest sinners. Yan Qing hears Dan Heng is "Imbibitor Lunae" and immediately shows hostility to him (poor boi was ganged up on by old men).

Dan Feng's actions seemed to have almost destroyed Xianzhou at some point.

His reincarnation Dan Heng is born from the Vidyadhara’s want to keep the Scion of Permanence alive and is forever banished instead of being killed as per Xianzhou's wishes.

Blade also seems to have committed a crime. He becomes immortal. Some woman - hinted at Jingliu - seems to have subjected Blade to continuous torture at one point. Blade becomes numb to the pain and the horrifying regeneration he is "blessed" with doesn't allow Blade to die despite being stabbed, sliced and skewered thousands of times.

Blade becomes a stranded person (maybe kicked out, maybe exhiled, maybe he escaped) and is restrained by the Stellaron Hunters and brought to their midst after being promised his death. Kafka is his leash so he doesn’t go on a rampage as a mara-struck, and he her bodyguard so she doesn’t die from her own fearless and perhaps slightly sociopathic disposition.

He loathes Imbibitor Lunae with every fiber of his being and sees him as a greater sinner than himself, he blames both Dan Feng and himself and wants both of them dead for a yet-unknown reason, however Blade doesn’t hate him enough to put his hatred of Dan Feng above his death. Between his hatred for Imbibitor Lunae and the script that will finally allow him to die, Blade chooses the latter without protest as in patch 1.2 he leaves Dan Heng and doesn’t try to kill him because it will interfere with the script and he and Kayla’s job are done.

And I suspect the reason the Stellaron Hunters let him go after Dan Heng so many times before was to herd Dan Heng into the Express, so he will someday become one of the Nameless. Dan Heng is hunted down by Blade and Kafka to the point the Express is the only home he can find.

[kurim-chis]

"Never a Choice" — Kafka

AKA Elio offered Kafka a choice to spare the Trailblazer of their fate, and she turned it down.

This is also how I slingshot myself into the abyss of "overthinking on some random thing"

Something that just occured me is, WHY did Silver Wolf say that Kafka could choose between "two receptacles"?

There are several fanon interpretations as a result of having this at the start of the game: 1) Ppl joke that it makes Kafka our Mom. 2) It means that Trailblazer never had a gender to begin with because Kafka could've always chosen to have them be female or male. 3) Test tube baby Trailblazer! 4) Everything is fake THE SKY IS FAKE EVERYONE /bonk and it's just a game mechanic.

However, as it turns out, this was more likely just point 4. It isn't meant to have any relevance to the story, and is just there to make it convenient for new players to choose their preferred Main Character at the start point. I say this because Blade remembers Trailblazer from BEFORE the Prologue and seeing them tagging along Kafka for a long, long while. Whatever receptacle player chooses, they have always been that receptacle. Caelus and Stelle are VASTLY different from each other despite similarities, so he wouldn't be confusing Caelus for Stelle and vice versa.

However, because my brain wanted to think too much about it, what if we were to take this into a SERIOUS context:

Kafka's choice didn't matter. It was a predetermined fate in the "story" of Honkai Star Rail. Why?

Well, Blade remembers seeing the Trailblazer before. The Trailblazer had already existed prior to the prologue as "Stelle" if you chose Stelle or as "Caelus" if you chose Caelus, it's unlikely he would've said he recognized them if they were Stelle in the past but then Caelus in the future because, as I said, Caelus and Stelle look, well, different.

So why did Elio tell Kafka and SIlver Wolf that Kafka could choose? And it was only Kafka. Silver Wolf knew the Trailblazer but not as anything more than perhaps the Receptacle or an existence that Kafka knew, since she is indifferent to the choice of Receptacle X or Y, but then says that the Trailblazer will remember Kafka at least.

Kafka: Elio said this decision will bring about lots of changes. Silver Wolf: He also said it must be you who makes it.

After Kafka's companion quest and how the Trailblazer has ALWAYS been the Trailblazer you choose, so "making a choice" doesn't make sense or matter. (Unless well, gender change shenagians... But that is an another whole can of worms.)

BUT this made me think. To us, it's just a convenient game set up for us to choose a preferred MC. In the story however, perhaps the choice Elio was giving Kafka was to choose the "protagonist" of the story. Say for example that I chose Stelle, so Stelle is the person that used to travel with Kafka and was glimpsed occassionally by Blade in the past. Something happened to Stelle, maybe she died or her role was always to become a Stellaron vessel, and that's the deal she made with Elio; so, she willingly resets most - if not all - of her memories and becomes the Stellaron vessel in exchange for something. So the time came, she vanished, the Stellaron Hunters set up everything to steal Herta's Stellaron and house it inside Stelle, and so on.

Which brings us to The Choice. In this brainstorming (and totally WRONG IT'S ONLY FOR FUN!!!) interpretation of the scene where Kafka is choosing the receptacle, it could be that at the start of the game is Elio basically telling Kafka:

"You have a choice. Choose if you want the person you have travelled with to be the main character of this script. She will be the hero of this tale, the centerpiece to this plot, the protagonist of this story; but she will suffer. I will continue to use her as per my deal with her, just like I use all of you."

"However, you can also choose to give her fate to another. To an all-new vessel. Stelle will continue to be dead, but she will no longer be the pawn in this game, and she will not need to go through what the script entails. Instead of Stelle, another Receptacle will take her place."

"The choice you make will decide the future, and it will be the right one."

And Kafka will choose Stelle anyway (the same applies if the player chooses Caelus and Caelus is the predetermined MC).

Because she is Kafka and she does not understand many emotions, but most importantly she does not know fear, and thus cannot fear for Stelle's unknown destiny. She subconsciously loves Stelle, but she does not fear for Stelle's future. She regards Stelle very preciously, but she also trusts in Stelle. She knows that destiny will not be kind, but she will choose for Stelle to undergo destiny's trials anyways.

Becaue—

Because...!

Kafka: Listen. In the future, you will encounter all kinds of perils and hardships, but you will also have many wonderful experiences. You will meet companions who treat you like family, and embark on surreal adventures with them. Kafka: At the end of your jouney, all that perplexes you and troubles you will resolve. This is your future that Elio has forseen. Do you like it?

Elio says that if Kafka chooses Stelle, then Stelle - despite her hardships and suffering - will get the ending that she deserves.

Happiness. Family. All her troubles and woes, resolved.

Stelle's ending will be a happy ending.

And well, it's known that of the Stellaron Hunters, Kafka is probably the one who most zealously believes in Elio's abilities to see the many branches of the future.

However, perhaps it could be argued that the ending does not validate the process. Too much suffering would make ending too bitter to swallow. So much lost in the name of the greater good tends to make for a bitter victory. Moreover, this is only IF everything goes well, there's always the possibility that they will not be able to script the future in the best direction and everything will have been for naught. Like how in Kafka's Companion Quest if we refuse to help her, the future will go in the direction of Sam and Silver Wolf needing to bail both of them from Xianzhou, Blade being gravely injured, and relations with Xianzhou broken beyond repair probably as a result of Sam and Silver Wolf's less than peaceful methods.

The future is uncertain, but destiny will never be kind, and they both know it. That's why Elio still gave Kafka the choice to spare Stelle, and somehow, her choice will always be the right one.

Kafka chooses Stelle anyways.

Kafka believes in Stelle their destiny, and that's why she made that decision to not spare her on that day in Herta's Space Station.

(Because Stelle is her destiny. Hers.)

(Subconsciously most likely, even if Elio were to present her with the choice, Kafka will not accept anyone or anything else as her destiny.)

And perhaps, this is something that Elio had forseen anyways.

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Anyhow, I chose to write Trailblazer as Stelle just to make it easier to explain my thoughts AND because I love Stelle and am unabashedly biased towards her. But like I said, this is a brainstorming that is in relation to the Trailblazer, and also applies to Caelus if player chose Caelus at the beginning.

AKA me making shit up. Thanks for reading all that brain vomit.

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[kurim-chis]

There seems to be a translation error in About Jingliu. Blade's story dialogues gave me some delicious suffering, but I know there's a different "feeling" when it comes to the original text and I was right, because 1) CN text for Blade was even more tragic and despair-inducing, and 2) this translation little error.

In EN, as seen above, it says that "as she [Jingliu] brandishes her sword" it would send phantom pain surging through Blade.

But in CN text the meaning is slightly different. In fact, there're some parts in CN text that are literally omitted (the part between the two "——") and it's basically saying:

"Every time I [Blade] swing my blade, phantom pain surges endlessly through my body —— every strike was fatal, every wound was agonizing but never enough to kill me —— it was all thanks to her!"

Of course, there's probably a more elegant way to word that, espcially since Blade speaks like a dignified old man lmao. Can't really think of flowery words.

So yes, anyways, my poor insane murder baby Blade... /sobbing/

also preparing another word vomit because I like to read about Blade and am fired up about expanding on his suffering :P

[kurim-chis]

Why does Blade want to die so badly?

Is being immortal to the extent he is really such a bad thing? Xianzhou natives also eventually start losing the will to live but they have hundreds of years before living becomes stagnant, and Im sure Blade started seeking death very early on comparatively. Is he so disgusted by the concept of immortality that he wishes to just off himself? It’s hinted that when he first got on the ship that he zealously built weapons and stuff as if he didn’t have enough time, so wouldn’t becoming immortal be something he could - eventually - learn to control? Why just outright seek death?

Let me list out some possible reasons.

1) He abhors the loss of control as an abomination of abundance. Without Kafka’s spirit whisper, he’s just a mindless monster barely clinging to rare moments of lucidity and his pride won’t allow him to live like an animal.

2) He’s lost something that made him lose the will to live. Or had his belief broken. Perhaps he had accomplished what he sought out to do in Xianzhou and wanted to die, but was them turned into an immortal, which furthered his obsession with dying.

3) Past suffering still torment him endlessly. Kind of like how Avengers are forcefully reminded of the source of their hatred and rage so they don’t stop being an Avenger in FGO. For example, the pain Jingliu inflicted on Blade still haunts him and it serves to somewhat trigger his anger and violence.

4) Humans aren’t meant to understand what it meant to overcome death. The mara struck soldiers are just mindless tree/flower abominations, but even they can’t go farther than a second death unless they have a continuous source of abundance. The monsters that don’t die easily, like ebon deer, are just monsters. Perhaps being dragged back to life when he clearly felt death thousands of times has drove Blade insane. It warped his mental state and he just wants to get it over and done.

5) The abundance has wronged Yingxing personally in the past, he had a grudge against them which is why he went to research stuff with Imbibitor Lunae. Becoming one of the things he loathes just wasn’t it.

6) Self-hatred. Of the five, three have to pay a price. First is Dan Feng, second is most likely Jingliu, and if Jing Yuan isn’t it and the Foxian girl is not it, then the last one is Blade. They all committed an unforgivable act and yet they all are escaping the consequences of their sins by virtue of being immortals, and that goes against what Blade/Yingxing stands for. Blade loathes himself as much as he loathes Dan Feng and Jingliu. He will try to kill them for as long as he is alive. (Though clearly his death >>>> Dan Heng or Jing Liu’s death.)

why does bladie wanna die? idk

[kurim-chis]

seeing so many blade x luocha team memes makes me laugh, it’s so funny since blade wants nothing more than to die and luocha is his nemesis in this regards. but then it struck me — what if in the future we get a character that is the opposite of luocha/healer??

what if in future — hoyoverse releases character who either 1) sacrifice his teammates to nuke his enemies *cough*fgoChenGong*cough* 2) nuke certain % of his teammates HP to deal more damage to enemies

blade: JUST TAKE EVERYTHING AND END ME

playable character that sacrifices teammates hp for dmg: dafuq with this insane criminal, mom im scared

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[kurim-chis]

Honkai Star Rail: Science-Fiction Interstellar Trope!!!

It took me an embarrassing time to realize what Honkai Star Rail was basing itself around. SO, in Honkai Impact we got themes about Mecha, and Genshin Impact is exploring a whole new open world fantasy style, and tbh I was confused by HSR storyline when I first started it because there were so many puzzling terms - like Aeon, Cancer of Worlds, Stellaron Hunter, Astral Express…

Me at the introduction be like.... What the fuck is an Aeon? God? The fuck does being a Stellaron Hunter mean. Who the fucking hell is Herta??? WHERE the fuck is this Space Station?? So wait, this Space Station is NOT where Himeko and others are and is a different faction from the Astral Express??

HSR doesn’t explain it to us on the spot by form of narration, like how the Stellaron is mentioned by Kafka/Silver Wolf as the “Cancer of Worlds”, but NOTHING is explained until way later in Jarilo-VI. It was unusual compared to Paimon jittering about everything in my ear, last time I played Genshin.

BUT THEN I switched the language to Chinese (i wanted to test myself and see if it was more fun) and I was like: OOOOHHHH I GET IT NOW

Because the whole fucking Honkai Star Rail is basically the trope “Interstellar novel trope” made into a fucking game. AKA 星际文. I have read DOZENS of these novels I should've realized it and now everything makes sense.

The "travelling through the galaxy" thing is so understandable when I remember this is an Interstellar plot thing. Even the title of "Aeon", which in chinese is 星神, is so very obvious to understand as a Higher Being given the context.

When I heard "Aeon", I was left wondering. When I read "星神", I understood instantly what it was. I prefer the "Aeon" name, it's more elegant, but their CN title translates literally to "Star God" or "God of the Stars" or a prettier name. Aeon certainly is beautiful for a title, 10/10.

Anyways, after understanding it was an interstellar sci-fi kind of plot, I'm loving it more. We don't usually get these kind of games with this kind of quality.