#last chapter in the [redacted] saga probably for a little bit
Text
newness? maybe.
#big tags ahead fyi#last chapter in the [redacted] saga probably for a little bit#i responded to his message from last night#i didnt want to go overboard with being affectionate in a romantic way or anything#so i went a softer route of thinking about how he's my closest friend and I still want to tell him what he means to me#so... it was still extremely genuine and i was vulnerable in saying all that#but... then his response was like. 'i think i get a bigger picture and maybe misunderstood what you had said'#and im internally like. wait. what do you mean. what did you misunderstand.#why does it sound like you think i only like you as a friend#because i dont but it felt selfish to dump all that on him#and he even apologized for dumping some of the things he said on me#but anyways. i panicked a little bit.#i guess i didnt want him to get the impression i wasnt interested at all#so i sent an obscure message being like 'well if its not selfish to say then i actually would have said more#but it felt selfish to say all that'#and then he was like 'well maybe i'll say one last thing. it isnt selfish to speak your mind.'#'and id rather be honest with each other if nothing else happens'#so i was like well ok here's my chance#and said that i want to and would date him if he was single and exclusive#and then he was basically like 'yeah me too but i care too much about [my gf] to end it'#which i knew#its just.......... a lot.#and i offered some advice about his relationship if he wanted#as long as he didnt care if it was hard hitting#and he was like 'sure let me see how you throw those punches'#so i lobbed some heavy questions at him#and he was like 'those werent bad. i cant say i know the answer to any of them'#so mission accomplished there i guess?#but... he said he wanted to have some time to himself to think everything over#which is very fair. there's so much
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