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#last time i updated was exactly 2 weeks ago so i'll try and keep that up
maddiebiscuits · 6 months
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i don't know how to phrase this any other way so i hope you don't find this rude or anything: you are (imo) a very skilled, very prolific art toaster. it's great quality artwork obviously, but your turnaround is wicked crazy fast to me. what does burnout look like for you? how do you manage to toast so many arts? what dark magics must you employ??
The hard truth is I worked in journalism for two years between 2010-2012 and customer service/hospitality starting at 16 years old in 2007 all throughout my life until 2022 and I don't want to go back to any of it now that I'm almost 33 - that's the main motivator to keep my freelance gig career doing art commissions going as long as possible. Fear and loathing of going back to that work environment keeps me focused.
In action...I'm not quite sure if I ever experience 'burn out'? I do experience art 'block' in that I can't think of anything to draw on my own or feel really unsatisfied with my work...so I just goof off with my canvas or do studies, but this doesn't interfere with doing commissions where I am told what to draw.
I just enjoy the physical act of drawing. Sometimes when I'm bored and restless and going for a walk doesn't help, I just draw more. When I was a kid I would just come home from school and draw crap between playing Gameboy/N64/Gamecube or browsing Elfwood/Newgrounds/DeviantART/Gaia Online, so it's literally just a habit now. If I don't draw for a long time I feel anxious and unwell. Somehow I just programmed my brain to think that art = leisure fun time, even if it's for work. I also tend to get into a "zone" sometimes and just put on video essays or music and a few hours later I'll have worked through some commission stuff.
I have three 'task lists' for my workflow:
A public trello board organized by work order types (N/SFW link)
A personal trello board organized by type/date in chronological order
A coloured tagging and folder system in my emails where I can just see the actual dates/timestamps of my last correspondence with a client so I know exactly who in my taskboard needs to be prioritized for their next WIP update
I hold myself to a standard of sending a client a WIP in stages:
rough draft (1-14 business days)
revisions (1-5 business days)
line art (1-14 business days)
revisions (1-5 business days)
final render (1-14 business days)
tweaks (1-2 business days)
So ideally, the client gets a finished commission in 3-6 weeks, so about 1-2 months. For larger projects I send more WIPs and the process is obviously longer. For simpler stuff like chibis, it's rarely a full six weeks. Over holidays I add an extra two weeks to my noted turn-around to account for IRL time off. On all my terms of service I have a maximum four months turn-around, essentially doubling the time I know my work flow is just in case there's some sort of medical or equipment emergency in my life that I need to account for that gives me a buffer (I also notify all clients)
Monday to Friday I wake up usually...late morning/early afternoon? I do anywhere from four to eight hours of artwork, broken up by walks, stretching, eating, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with my partner, etc. I look at my personal trello taskboard and emails to see what must be done and what can wait. I try to get at least 1-2 things done in a day though, be that sketches/line art/renders/revisions.
Right now I am looking at my email and task board, and the client with the highest wait time chronologically is someone who is waiting for their final render (sketch and line art already revised and done for them). Last email correspondence with them on the email says 9 days ago (so 7 business days, I'm supposed to take Sat-Sun off). Their order was paid in full and confirmed by me on November 9 and it is currently December 13, so I'm at about the 5 week mark (not accounting for delays in clients getting back to me of course) and I am very much On Course for my work load, no one has been without contact from me for 14 days or more so I'm pretty ahead of my game right now! I could take tomorrow off if I wanted, or only do 3-4 hours of work if I feel like it.
However the more work you finish and post, the more you show prospective clients your ability to finish orders and show your audience more art for engagement, so ideally I always like posting stuff when I can, it just creates a cycle of positive production and income.
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ravynfyre · 2 years
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So. Now that I am home from the Unexpected Road Trip To Iowa that was conceived of literally less than 24 hours ago.... The explanation.
A very dear friend of mine from all the way back in my prehistoric high school days called me yesterday. Now this is a gal that I have kept in contact with because we still love one another. Usually when she calls, though, there will be Shenanigans of some type happening. She knows me very well, and knew, pretty much before I admitted it, that I would not be happy without a maligator in the house. Since she's married to a firefighter, she's got a lot of emergency service contacts and friends, so she approached one of them at the annual fire department christmas party and asked if he would keep his ears open for a malinois looking for a home.
Literally yesterday, he got a call from a cop K9 trainer he decoys for on the regular in the far off reaches of northern Iowa, asking if he knew anyone who was looking for a malinois who would do okay with a cop dog wash out. BAZINGA! He calls my friend, who had not had a chance yet to let him know that I had found Diva, and let HER know.
But friend knows me well, as I said, and knew that she should still throw the offer at me because 1) I love my crazy ass maligators, and 2) I am insane enough to tackle bringing two brand new psycho dogs into my house at the same time. Spoiler Alert: she was right.
Now she was very VERY clear that there was no pressure, and no harm, no foul if I decided to be sane for once, but, eh, sanity is overrated. I've done dumber things with less preparation before. Fuck it.
Hence the phone tree sorting out getting Rajah from the far reaches of Corn Land to me. It wasn't all finalized until pretty close to 10 or 11 pm last night, but finalized it got... and Rajah has come home.
Scarlett isn't exactly pleased... she's an intact bitch and I think she was rather hoping for *less* malinois craziness, rather than *more*... but they are quickly sorting their hierarchy out (Scar on top) *without* bloodshed and a minimal amount of snarking. And Rajah is already having a positive effect on Diva - which was something I had hoped for.
See, some breeds of dogs "know their own"... Sighthounds know fellow sighthounds, even if they are a different breed... Malinois know malinois, and also know that German Shepherds are NOT malinois. It's kinda spooky, sometimes, watching them interact in a pack, because they genuinely do throw different behaviors for fellow mals than they do for non-mals. And I was really hoping that Diva could use Rajah as a more confident role model... it seems to be working, because, for the first time since I brought her home, Diva found a spot NOT IN A CRATE to settle down and actually RELAX. Up until now, if she wasn't locked in a crate, she was pacing and fretting and worried and unable to just *stop*.
And she's stopped right now. Has been for close to an hour now. She even ventured out and grabbed a toy to take back to her "throne" that she's relaxing in. I love it.
Going to have my hands full, but I never do things by half measures, as was pointed out to my by a former SAR K9 teammate. LOL. I'll try to remember to post pictures and updates! Thank you all for putting up with my crying and mourning over the last couple weeks. I love you all!
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prorevenge · 6 years
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Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your f*cking life.
warning: this is a VERY long story with few updates and TL:DR at the end.
BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her aggression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...
Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there weren't dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my Christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.
She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the Lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.
I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldn't make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made a lot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...
She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled a lot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.
There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.
The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.
So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.
Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her Lipton.
Updates:
1) I am psychologically not in the position to take care of my younger siblings or take on a parental role. I came very close to suicide 2 years ago and im just trying to work on my alcohol problem and other habits that keep me in a cycle of instability. No I haven't been to any programs or therapy, I don't think it will help me in regards to my nearly constant apathy and etc.
2) My 2 youngest siblings weren't really bothered much. It was mostly my little sister after I left who got beatings but luckily it wasn't anything near the level I had to deal with.
3) Im also incapable of taking custody because I don't have an apartment anymore due to bad decisions I made while drinking recently. So I'm back to homeless but I crash with a friend once in a awhile. I am very well aware I am an influence on my younger siblings and I'm trying to stay consistent with doing everything I can to be a better and more stable person for them so that maybe I can finally build a real relationship with someone in my family. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps wishing me more success.
4) Aside from my little siblings, I have zero contact with anyone else in my family. And even then, its been very rare because I had to avoid my mother to see them and didn't want her knowing i kept in contact (Meeting my little sister after school, facetime, etc). The rest of my family were well aware of what she did and distanced themselves. I don't plan on reaching out to them as im not good at maintaining relationships with mostly anyone anyways.
TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.
(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)
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umichenginabroad · 2 years
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One Week Out!
Hi everyone! My name is Erin Benitez and I just finished my freshman year at the University of Michigan. I am planning on studying Industrial and Operations Engineering and minoring in Sustainability and the International Minor for Engineers. I am headed to Reykjavik, Iceland in exactly one week and could not be more excited. I have wanted to study abroad in college ever since I could remember and cannot believe it is finally happening. When I first applied for this program a couple months ago, I did it for fun and at the last minute because it seemed cool, but I did not think I would actually go. I already had plans for this summer and had an idea in my head that I would study abroad later on in my college years. When I got accepted though and talked it over with friends and family, I knew I had to take this opportunity. At the time I decided I would go, it seemed so far away and I did not think too much about it. Now I am sitting here writing this and it is finally sinking in how soon I'll be in Iceland. During my 6 weeks abroad, I am taking 2 classes. Programming and Introductory Data Structures (EECS 280) and Sustainability in an Icelandic Context. I am really looking forward to my sustainability class because it sounds like it will give me a chance to understand Iceland's sustainability commitments in depth and learn about the natural landscape of the country.
Pre-Travel To Do's
I have been home from college for just over a week now. Prior to coming home, I wrote a list of the things I had to get done before leaving for Iceland. Every day, I knock off some tasks and get closer to completing my entire checklist. Some of the highlights on my to-do list are...
Shop
Buy a larger suitcase
Pack
Say goodbye to family and friends
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The suitcase I will be packing in for abroad!
I have completed the first two tasks and am getting closer to finishing the last two. Packing has been a challenge because of the variety of clothes I need to bring. Iceland's weather is unpredictable and I am having a hard time deciding what kinds of clothes to pack. So far I have done a mix of pants, shorts, long sleeves/sweaters, and short sleeve shirts. I will also try to bring clothes that are good for layering and will bring an insulated jacket/parka in case it gets cold. I will also need to pack warmer weather clothes as I will be traveling around Europe with my family after my program ends. I have yet to say my goodbyes to most of my family and friends but that will be coming in a few short days.
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Sitting in the sun while I write my first blog post!
I cannot wait to arrive in Iceland and I will keep you updated along the way!
Erin Benitez
Industrial and Operations Engineering
IPE Reykjavik, Iceland
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