#ledger!joker fanfiction

[these-written-reveries]

ok but like, the post you reblogged with the pics of ledger putting the makeup on,, imagine you and J getting ready for the day and sharing the bathroom together while he's putting his makeup on. idk just sounds cute and domestic uwu 💖

Omg nonnie, I was literally thinking these thoughts the moment I saw those pics! I knew I had to write them down, so here ya go! 💖

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Getting Ready With J (Headcanons)

*Inspired by this post

‣ Pairing: Ledger!Joker/Jack Napier x GN!Reader

‣ Genre: fluff, domestic bliss w/cute deadly clown man

‣ Warnings: None!

‣ Notes: Besides the rare occasion of J spreading some daytime chaos across the city of Gotham, most of his work would be done at night. Because of that, I don't think he would always feel the need to put on his makeup early in the day if he's just gonna be at home—especially after he's reached a point of being able to drop his mask around you (literally & figuratively). That said, I can see this situation playing out in 2 different ways...

L!Joker/Jack Napier Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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« Scenario 1: » ♡ He and you get ready together in the morning/afternoon.

‣ Maybe you have work or some errands to run, or you're simply getting ready to spend the day lounging comfortably at home.

‣ As for J, he has some important "business" to attend to.

‣ The two of you start by brushing your teeth together, J trying to make you laugh the whole time just to watch you struggle not to spit toothpaste everywhere. He gets a good kick out of this, a shit eating grin on his face as he continues to brush his teeth.

‣ You both share the counter space, your self-care items scattered around as you carry on with your routines. There are very little words spoken during this time, but you still communicate through your own secret language; sometimes being able to read each other's minds just by sharing a simple glance.

‣ You both know each other's routine so well that you hand each other the items you need next before either of you ask for it.

‣ On days where J is particularly clingy, he's glued to your side, having such a strong need to be touching you at all times—even if this means just barely touching arms while you get ready in the mirror.

‣ If your daily routine includes brushing your hair, he totally enjoys doing this for you. So much so that he's now in the habit of grabbing your brush and gently running it through your hair while you do something else. He often takes a little longer than necessary, but that's only because he loves to feel the beautiful texture of your hair.

‣ You sneakily give each other occasional kisses on the cheek or anywhere your lips can reach as you continue getting ready. You always love to see the small blush that creeps over J's bare face in the mirror after you've given him a smooch and maybe a gentle caress on his back that just happened to drift a bit lower 😉

‣ Sometimes you play music together while you get ready. A playlist of songs both you and him like. He loves it when you sing or dance to your favorite songs, or even to some of his favorite songs that have started to grow on you too. If you're quick about it, you might be able to catch him looking at you fondly through the mirror just before he looks away and pretends to be focused on something else. Depending on his mood that day, you might get to hear him hum along to some songs as well.

‣ If you wear makeup, you also do this part together. If not, you sit on the counter or hug him from behind while he does his own (he much prefers the latter).

‣ If you ask, he'll definitely let you do his makeup for him. He loves to just sit back, relax, and soak up your touch during this time. He particularly enjoys the part where you draw the smile over his lips and scars with red lipstick and the concentrated look on your face while you do it.

‣ Beware to makeup wearers, Jack will steal your red lipstick if he's suddenly run out or lost his! And he's definitely not gentle with his application. But it's alright, he'll steal buy you a new one!

‣ If you choose to sit back and watch, you'll witness him create his personal masterpiece with nothing but some lipstick, greasepaint, and his fingers. He only uses one brush and that is to dab on a little bit of setting powder at the end (a trick he learned, thanks to you), though if he's in a rush, he'll sometimes skip this part. After doing it for so long, it takes him less than 5 minutes. But he'll often go slower just so he can spend some extra time with his love.

‣ When he's all done, he chases you out of the bathroom, threatening to cover your face with sloppy red kisses. In the end, he settles for a small peck on the lips before the two of you part ways for the day.

« Scenario 2: » ♡ Darkness has settled over Gotham city, which means it's time for J to clock in.

‣ You're already settling down for the evening when J gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. You're right on his tail, following in his footsteps. He smirks when he realizes and playfully comes to a halt, just to get you to bump into him. When you whine/pout over this, he coos teasingly at you and gives you a kiss on the forehead before taking your hand and leading you the rest of the way there.

‣ You perch yourself on the counter or the toilet while he sits in a chair in front of the mirror. You watch him work, admiring the focused look in his eyes and the way he contorts his face to apply the paint to his skin.

‣ He occasionally glances over at you and scoffs at the heart-eyes you're giving him.

‣ Don't you dare give him a flirty compliment unless you want to see him roll his eyes and brush it off all while trying to hide his flustered smile (do it, do it, do it).

‣ The two of you talk about whatever is on your minds and J finds himself lingering on the black around his eyes for far longer than usual just to keep listening to your sweet voice.

‣ Once again, if you ask, he'll let you finish his makeup for him. This time he'll have you sit in his lap while you do it, giving your thighs a light squeeze and running his thumbs over your soft skin.

‣ Upon finishing, you press a little kiss to the tip of his nose and fix his hair a bit. He watches you with a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips, reaching up to cup your face in his hands. You stop what you're doing as he pulls you in for a kiss that speaks on behalf of words left unspoken.

♡ J loves you. And he cherishes these little moments with you more than you know.

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‣ Have an idea for a fic you’d like me to write? Send a request here. But first, make sure to read my Request Info!

‣ If you’d like to join the taglist for L!Joker/Jack Napier, or be tagged in all of my future writings, let me know by sending me an ask/message!

‣ Taglist: @jslittlebirdie @alittlesmartcookie

[hallowed-be-thy-username]

Because i am so excited about the sequel to "if you're good at something" i was thinking a lot about J and Nora again and i was wondering if J and / or Nora would do something special about the first anniversary day of Nora saving J's life in the clinic when they met for the very first time.

I don't think J is a big fan of sentiment but Nora is his special girl, so who knows? 🤷‍♀️

What do you think? 🥰

🥺!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness!! 😭😭😭😭 my heart!!!! I’m so damn touched that you’ve been thinking about J and Nora omg!!! ❤️❤️ and THAT is a fantastic idea!! I absolutely love it and you bet it’s gonna be included!! I know exactly what to do!

Seriously thank you SO much for sending me this ask, you’re the sweetest! I love the idea and you made my day! 💖

[writingfortherapeutic-reasons]

happiness is a butterfly (part 1)

author's note: thank you for the responses to my first fanfic on this tumblr!! i don't really have a schedule for when I write or specific characters who i write for at the moment, i just thought i could use this whole quarantine thing as a time to be productive:))

this fic is named after a lana del rey song

the dark knight, except you are the second person the joker captures in order to get batman to reveal his identity. little does he know, you're as broken as he is. (ledger!joker x reader)

trigger warning: psychological trauma, mentions of violence, mentions of mental illness, reader experiences panic attacks

If he's a serial killer, then what's the worst

That could happen to a girl who's already hurt?

I’m already hurt

The room is damp and cold, with no source of light. The smell of rotting flesh suffocates your air.

You’ve been here for hours now.

When you’d first woken up, groggy from the effects of some drug, you’d begun to hyperventilate in the pitch black, the ropes that bound you pressing down tightly on your organs and making it even more difficult to breathe. 

Breathe in, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... breathe out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

This had continued on for longer than it normally would. Every time you managed to drag in enough air to fill your lungs, thoughts that this was more than a kidnapping by those who wanted money or sex flashed through your mind in garish colours of green and purple, and the oxygen was ripped from your body once again. 

Eventually your breathing had steadied, and now here you sit, two hours later, still pulling on your ropes and trying desperately to think of a way out. 

The sudden shove of what must be the door knocks the breath that you’ve spent so long obtaining out of you, and the harsh glare of electric lights followed by the sight of a tall, stooped figure in a purple suit make you scream.

How funny that just a few days ago, you were watching and pitying the police officer in the exact same position that you are now in safely from your bedroom, if unhappily at least safely, and at least safely from others, if not from yourself.

Your gasping cries echoe about the room, grating on the peeling walls and the intruder’s ears and the huge hunks of bloody red meat hanging from hooks in the corners - 

‘Shh, darling, shh.’

And the Joker is in front of you, and you take in the matted green hair and the yellow teeth and the face plastered in white greasepaint and the bright red lips and the two huge scars curving up from the corners of his mouth, forming a grisly smile. He paws at your face with a gloved hand, the action quick and sharp and devoid of tenderness.

He wants you to shut up.

Your terror overrules your hatred and you stop screaming, having to come up for little gasps of air every few seconds.

'Oh, smart girl.'

His voice sounds exactly like it did in the clips they showed on the TV; the Joker speaks in snarls, with a wet smack of the lips at the end of each sentence. He is still close to you. You can smell sweat, leather, and blood.

'I presume you know why you're here, doll.'

There is no point in lying: you raise your trembling head, and nod.

'And I presume... you have seen my previous recording, yes?'

Another nod.

'ANSWER ME!'

His bark makes you jump, and sends chills trickling down your spine like cold water. You want to curl up in a ball and die out of sheer terror, but you force your dry mouth to open, unsticking your lips bit by bit, and...

'yes.'

The Joker leers. He puts his large hands on your shaking thighs and pushes himself down into a kneeling position, red lips grinning up at you.

He is like a cat, toying with its prey to make it taste sweeter.

'And what, ah, did I say, was the purpose...' the intruder's fingers trace small circles on your skin, 'of my video?'

You know the purpose, but you don't want to say it, can't say it, because if you said it, you'd be admitting the truth to yourself, and even after everything you've been through, you don't want to die.

As each second of silence passes each thigh circle becomes bigger, and the Joker's long nails dig deeper into soft skin, and tiny red roses of blood begin to bloom. You feel the urge to let him continue: to let him scratch his way down to bone and marrow and eventually to the chair you're trapped in, while you suffer in proud, noble silence.

But when the Joker sighs irritatedly and pulls out a knife from his boot, you decide you are a coward.

'You - you are using me - to try - to try to - to try to get Batman to reveal who - who he really is.'

'Full marks, doll... and you are a pretty doll, aren't you? Wanna know why I chose you for this, ehem, operation?'

Silence.

'Course you do. Now. It seems as though our, hehe, brave, Batman, did not have much sympathy for the poor police officer who was sitting exactly where you are now...'

See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham...

'Otherwise you wouldn't be sitting exactly where you are now! Geddit?'

The Joker laughs a maniacal laugh, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end.

'So, in order to persuade both Batman and the good citizens of Gotham to reveal his identity, I have chosen someone younger, prettier, more, ah, innocent, than our dear police officer, to fill their hearts with empathy and the urgent desire to act -

Namely, you.'

Blood pounds in your ears. You've forgotten entirely about controlling your breathing - but what is the point, when you are going to die?

'You're terrified, doll.'

The Joker's tongue wets his bottom lip.

In a quick thrust he pushes himself off the ground so he is towering above you once again. The knife spins in the air before he catches it with nimble fingers. Footsteps sound on the floor, and the Clown begins to pace the room.

'Before I start to make my little films, however, I like to play a few games. Just to get my actors into the right mood, you see.'

You can't breathe, please, god, someone, help, because you can't breathe...

'Here's what we're going to do.'

to be continued...

[these-written-reveries]

might be too angsty but can you write a ledger!joker x reader with a reader who self harms? either catching them in the middle of the act or seeing the scars they were trying to keep hidden?

Hello! First of all, thank you for your request! I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to write this at first, particularly because it's such a sensitive subject. The last thing I'd ever want is to upset or cause emotional harm to those who may be struggling with this themselves. That said, I want my writings to be a source of good and bring solace to those that are in need of it, so I decided to try my best and write it anyway.

I chose to keep things vague and without too much detail to help minimize the triggering aspects of this subject. Please use your own discretion when choosing whether to proceed with reading and let me know if there is anything wrong with this piece that I should fix. I hope this fulfills your wishes, nonnie. Sending all my love to you and anyone else who may be struggling with this. I strongly encourage you to seek the help/support that you deserve ❤️

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-Try-

‣ Pairing: Ledger!Joker/Jack Napier x GN!Reader

‣ Summary: J finally comes face-to-face with the pain you've been carrying alone all this time and tries to help you bear the weight of it.

‣ Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

‣ Warnings: self-harm (no details mentioned of the act/object used), blood (minor references), scars/fresh wounds (no details), panic, breakdown/crying.

‣ Word Count: 2,226

‣ Have an idea for a fic you’d like me to write? Send a request here. But first, make sure to read my Request Info!

L!Joker/Jack Napier Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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It was just past midnight when J unlocked your apartment door and slipped inside. He was dressed in a casual outfit consisting of a black hoodie and jeans, the hood pulled up over his head and a surgical mask covering the lower half of his face. After locking the door behind him, he dropped the hood and pulled the mask off, shoving it into the pocket of his hoodie as he walked further into your apartment.

“Where’s my little dove?” he called out, announcing his presence so as not to frighten you.

It was becoming more of a frequent habit for Jack to come over to your place, especially to sleep. He’d usually let you know when he’d be coming through call or text, but today he hadn’t the time. In fact, he wasn’t planning on coming over at all today. But after the nonsense he’d been dealing with recently regarding work, he wanted nothing more than to pay a visit to his love to set his frazzled mind back in order. At this point, you were pretty used to him showing up at odd hours of the night to visit you, so he figured it wouldn’t be a problem if he stopped by tonight. You were always complaining about not seeing him enough anyway.

While your romantic relationship was still somewhat new, you’d known each other for quite a while by now. He’d spent months trying to woo you, which proved to be a bigger challenge than he had initially expected. Jack knew he wasn’t the most desirable man in the world, but he could tell that wasn’t the only thing holding you back from accepting his affections right away. There was more to you than met the eye, and he was determined to know all the complexities of you.

Jack had no problem taking his time with you. You seemed to appreciate this, so he allowed you to set the pace of your relationship. You hadn’t expected Jack to be so patient with you, yet he was, exceedingly so. He didn’t pressure you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with, and he didn’t judge you for your “odd” tendencies. As J saw it, he was more than a bit odd himself, so who was he to judge? In taking your time to build your relationship together, he’d learned a lot about the little intricacies of who you were, but there was a hidden part of you he had yet to become acquainted with. A mystery he could never seem to solve, until today.

Knocking lightly on your bedroom door, he found it to be unlocked and quietly turned the handle. You hadn’t responded to his previous call, so he figured you were asleep. His assumptions were found to be correct when he spotted you curled up on your bed wearing one of his long-sleeved button-down shirts and a pair of underwear. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of you before walking over to the other side of the bed. There you lied, facing the empty spot where he normally slept, the lamp you left on providing the perfect amount of light for him to admire your beautiful features. Though, the smile that began to tug at his lips upon seeing your face quickly faded as he noticed the puffiness of your eyes and tear stains on the pillow you were lying on.

Letting out a quiet sigh, he removed his shoes and hoodie and left them on the floor beside the bed before carefully climbing onto the mattress. Successfully managing to lie down beside you without waking you, he silently observed your face. Seeing you upset or hurt elicited the worst feelings in him. The emotion that manifested most frequently in him was anger. But the feelings he felt in moments like these were much more complex than that; so complex he couldn’t fully make sense of them. All he knew was that it made his chest ache and his stomach twist in a way that made him feel sick.

Deciding to take the risk of waking you, he gently brushed his knuckles against your cheek, his painted lips curling up into a fond smile as you subconsciously nuzzled against his fingers before going still once more. He continued, moving his hand down to trail his fingertips over your shoulder all the way to your fingertips. He glanced down at your other arm, that which lied between the two of you with your hand tucked under the pillow that supported your head. His fingers traveled to this arm, about to continue their journey when they suddenly froze in place at the familiar sight of crimson. Upon second glance, Jack immediately recognized this to be exactly what he thought it was. At first, he considered it to be an old stain—it was his shirt, after all, but it was too fresh for that to be the case.

Alarms began going off in his head as he went through all the possible scenarios of how you could have been hurt. It wasn’t uncommon to experience physical attacks in the dangerous city of Gotham—even more likely if anyone were to find out about your relationship with the infamous Joker. This is why J taught you how to physically protect yourself and gave you self-defense weapons to keep with you in case anything were to happen. He was also very careful when it came to keeping your relationship hidden from the rest of the world. Along with these things, he took a handful of other measures to keep you safe, making sure to cover all the bases. His biggest fear was you getting hurt, or worse, and him being unable to stop it. He’d do anything to shield you from any potential threats or harm that could ever come your way.

Yet, he’d never once considered self-inflicted harm to be such a substantial threat to his lover…

As he carefully pulled back the red-stained sleeve, his heart sank. He remained still as he stared at the scars and fresh wounds that covered your skin. At this point, you had awoken and immediately felt an impending sense of doom begin to fill your being at the sight of Jack looking directly at what you had tried to keep hidden from him for so long. You yanked your arm away and quickly sat up, pulling the sleeves back over your arms and hiding the rest of your body with the covers. Tears filled your eyes and panic manifested within your chest as an inability to breathe, the racing thoughts in your mind causing you to spiral even faster.

“I’m sorry,” your voice cracked as you uttered the words at barely above a whisper. You were trembling now, squeezing your eyes closed as your mind fed you every worst-case scenario in the book.

Silence.

Oh, how you hated to hear it.

It only provided your mind with more room to insert its own terrible thoughts and ideas about what J was thinking of you.

Unable to open your eyes, yet unable to stand the silence any longer, you spoke again. “Please…say something. If you’re mad or whatever, just say-”

“No.” His sudden interruption startled you, but you were still relieved to hear something come out of his mouth.

“Look at me,” he spoke firmly, but there was something else to the tone of his voice that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You were too afraid to open your eyes for fear that you'd see nothing but disgust and disappointment staring right back at you.

You felt the mattress shift beneath you as J moved closer to you. A tear fell from your eyes that was swiped away by the pad of his thumb before your chin was gently grasped between his thumb and forefinger, tilting your head up slightly. This time, you bravely opened your eyes to look at your love before you. Instantly, you were met with a strange look in his eyes. Different than any look he’d ever given you before. One filled with so much love, yet carried with it a lingering sadness. This look alone pierced your heart and made it even harder not to crumble to bits into his lap.

“I’m not mad at you. Ya got that?”

The truth is, he was mad at himself. Particularly for not recognizing sooner. He was so observant when it came to you and yet he had completely missed this. It made his stomach turn to think that you had been struggling alone this whole time, unbeknownst to him.

Now everything made sense. All the “odd” tendencies you exhibited on a frequent basis. The way you avoided certain intimate interactions with him. He always thought you just didn't like to be touched that much, so he used his touch sparingly with you and only in ways he knew you were comfortable with. The way you remained so covered up, even when it was blazing hot. In his mind, he assumed you were just insecure about your body and after bringing it up once and seeing you shut down in response, he chose not to press on the subject again until you were ready to talk about it. So many things he could now link directly back to this. How stupid he felt for not being able to piece it together sooner. He could’ve been there for you this whole time and he wasn’t.

But as he looked at you now, your lip quivering as you nodded in response to him, he realized that what really mattered was being there for you now.

“Alright. C’mere.” He held his arms out and you blinked at him, unmoving.

"Do ya want a hug or not? Hm?"

Upon hearing this, you wasted no further time diving into his embrace. He pulled you close, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other wound securely around your waist. You finally burst into tears and clung to him tightly, making his attempt to move the two of you into a better position much more of a struggle, but he managed.

"Hush-ush-ush, it's okay, doll. I got ya,” he cooed softly at you.

He was ever so careful now with where his fingers touched you, choosing to keep them stationed at your back where they gently ran up and down your spine. This soothing touch paired with the sound of him shushing you softly between pressing kisses to your head was enough to calm you down much faster than you normally would have on your own. Now your sobs had dwindled down to mere sniffles and your tears were slowing their pace.

Recognizing this, Jack finally decided to speak again.

"Ya know, I'm always here for you, doll. You might think this changes how I feel about you, but it doesn't. Not one bit."

He could feel your body shake with quiet sobs in response to his words, his shirt being further soaked with your salty tears. He squeezed you a bit tighter.

"Will you let me help you? I'm not sayin' I have all the answers or that it'll be easy, ‘cause it won't. But we're in this together now, toots. I'll do whatever it takes to get ya through this. I mean it."

You were silent for a moment before you looked up at him and hesitantly nodded. The vulnerable look on your face was enough to break what was left of your clown’s heart as his eyes begin to sting slightly. He clenched his jaw to hold back his tears and pressed his lips to your forehead before pulling you closer against him. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued to speak.

"We'll figure it out together, hm? Ya got me now. So you better come to me when you're feeling like doing it again. Doesn’t matter what I'm doing. Ya know I’ll drop everything for you."

"It's…hard for me to do that in the moment,” you confessed quietly. J nodded in understanding and gave you another small squeeze of reassurance.

"Try your best, doll. That's all I'm askin’. I don't expect ya not to slip up from time to time. I'll still be here when you do. But ya gotta help me help you. Alright?"

"Mhm…” You nodded in agreement.

"That's my doll." He kissed the top of your head, leaving traces of face paint in your hair. "I love you, and all that sappy shit,” he muttered.

You let out a small breathy laugh and pressed a kiss to his chest before squeezing him tighter. "I love you, J. Thank you."

J scoffed, but a tiny smile tugged at his lips all the same. "Yeah, yeah. Listen, I don't need your thanks. I just need ya to be strong for me. Think you can do that?"

"I'll try my best.”

"Good. You do that and I'll take care of the rest. I got your back, toots.” He kissed your head and squeezed you again for good measure, his fingers traveling from your back, up to your cheek, grazing over your tear-stained skin. He stared at you affectionately as you nuzzled against his touch.

Looking up at him once more, you offered him the best smile you could muster in the moment. It was weak, but you were trying. And that was enough.

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‣ If you enjoyed this fic, please like, comment, and/or reblog! Doing so not only keeps my blog alive, but also lets me know what you like and how to improve!

‣ If you’d like to join the taglist for L!Joker/Jack Napier, or be tagged in all of my future writings, let me know by sending me an ask/message!

‣ Taglist: @jslittlebirdie

[these-written-reveries]

Broken Pieces

‣ Pairing: Ledger!Joker/Jack Napier x GN!Reader

‣ Summary: You’re burnt-out and overwhelmed and you’ve finally hit a wall. Now, all you can seem to do is fall apart. Good thing you have a special clown who knows just how to put you back together!

‣ Genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, soft!J

‣ Warnings: burn-out, overwhelm, emotional breakdown, negative thoughts, feeling like a burden, lots of tears.

‣ Word Count: 3,050

‣A/N: This is dedicated to my lovely friend, @jslittlebirdie! I told ya I’d get around to writing you something eventually! I know you’re overdue for a proper break, and while I wish I could better help you carry the weight of life’s burdens and give you the true rest you deserve, I’m limited to just how much I can do. I hope this helps, even just a little. I love you, Sukie!💜

‣ Have an idea for a fic you’d like me to write? Send a request here. But first, make sure to read my Request Info!

L!Joker/Jack Napier Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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Heavy sobs and messy sniffles had long replaced the silence of your bedroom as you sat curled up on the bed with your face buried in J’s pillow. You were sure he wouldn’t appreciate his pillow being soaked with your tears, but it happened to be the first thing you reached for at the start of your breakdown, his scent always helping to calm you down whenever he wasn’t around. If you closed your eyes, you could almost imagine him there with you. As for the tear-soaked pillowcase, you’d be sure to wash it later before he got home, whenever that would be…

Jack had been gone for a week now, unleashing his newest schemes upon the city of Gotham. This meant you were home alone, which wasn’t really a problem for you. You had a lot of your own things to do during the time of his absence, so you planned on being busy and distracted anyway. The problem was, you were already overwhelmed and burnt out before you had dived into completing these tasks, and after multiple days of trying to push yourself through your to-do list, you finally hit a wall.

Cue you curled up in a ball on your unmade bed, your salty tears staining your beloved’s pillow as you simultaneously worried about all the things you should be doing while also remaining helplessly stuck in your place. You were utterly exhausted. Yet, the cruel voices in your head continued their endless loops of degrading words, telling you that you’re a failure, a disappointment, you should be doing better, you’re never going to get anywhere if you keep sitting on your ass, why can’t you just get up and do it already?

Your hands gripped the pillow harder as you cried, feeling like there was no escape from the overwhelming hell you were experiencing. All you wanted to do was curl up in J’s arms, knowing he was the only one who could quiet your mind and make everything better.

As if some divine force had heard your yearning desire and generously granted your wish, you heard the familiar sound of the front door opening, followed by J calling out to you in a singsong voice.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Instead of the usual comfort you’d feel upon hearing his voice, you suddenly felt a wave of anxiety fill your being. You couldn’t let this be the first thing he came home to after working so hard all week. Before you could think of anything else, your legs began bolting it towards the bathroom across the room. You quickly locked the door and leaned against it, closing your eyes as you tried to gain control of your breathing.

Jack had happened to see a flash of you go by as you ran to the bathroom and raised a quizzical brow at the sight.

“Hm…So we’re playing games, are we? I see how it is…”

He dropped his large purple coat and suit jacket on the edge of the bed before walking over to the bathroom door. He tried the handle, only to let out a huff once he discovered it was locked. Swiping his tongue over the edge of his scars, he glared at the wooden door that stood between him and his love. Immediately, he could tell something was wrong. You always ran to him when he got home and practically smothered him in hugs and kisses —that which he always secretly looked forward to. Never had you run away from him upon him getting home. This was enough to set his nerves on edge.

“I don’t think I like this game, doll. Open up.”

Hesitating to speak for fear that you’d give yourself away, you took a shaky breath as you stared at yourself in the mirror, trying hard to suppress the tears that continued to flow from your red and puffy eyes. You had to find a way to pull yourself together, and fast. This is not how you wanted to be reunited with your love after he returned home from such a long trip. You could talk about your problems later. For now, you wanted to welcome him home and hear about all of his latest antics that you’d only briefly heard about from the news. You loved how excited he got whenever he told you about such things. Seeing that alone would surely make you feel loads better. You quickly tried to spit out an answer, hoping he wouldn’t be too suspicious.

“S-Sorry! I’m just…g-going pee! I’ll be out in a minute!”

Jack did not buy your lie, rolling his eyes as he leaned his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms crossed against his chest. He knew you were in there crying. He could hear your muffled sniffles and unsteady breathing. It made him practically vibrate with agitation; protective alarms going off in his head as he tried to ignore the part of himself that suddenly wanted to murder whoever could’ve hurt you and focused his attention instead on getting through the stupid slab of wood in front of him.

“Sweetheart…If you don’t open this door, I’m gonna have no choice but to blow it wide open.”

“You wouldn’t do that. I’m in here…” You mumbled, your voice managing to sound a bit more stable that time. But it wasn’t nearly enough to convince him that you were okay.

Jack snorted in amusement, though his tone remained overall serious. “Don’t tempt me, doll. I will take down this door one way or another.”

You took a deep breath, a final attempt to calm down and get a hold of yourself. While you’d barely managed to stop the tears, your red and puffy eyes, along with your runny nose, were a dead giveaway that you’d been sobbing for the last half hour. Realizing you wouldn’t be able to make this disappear, as well as the fact that Jack’s patience was wearing thin, you decided to try your best to appear like you were fine and opened the door to the bathroom.

Jack remained leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed as you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek before scurrying across the room, his eyes following your every move with close observation

“Welcome home, baby. I’m sorry; I’m really busy. I have to get this work done before the end of the day. Just give me a minute to sort through some things.” While this was an excuse, it wasn’t technically a lie. You hoped J would believe you and leave you be for just a moment so you could better compose yourself. One wrong move, and you’d be a heaping pile of tears all over again.

As you stood there, pretending to sort through the papers and notes on your desk, you could feel Jack’s footsteps growing nearer. His silence was deafening. Oh, how you hated it when he got so quiet. It always meant he was onto you.

To avoid what was to come, you began rambling about anything that came to mind, trying your best to direct his focus to anything else but you.

“How was your day? Did things go well? I saw you on the news earlier.”

“Doll…”

J was growing increasingly frustrated with the way you were behaving. He knew that you knew just how well he could read you. He had practically become an expert at understanding all of your little emotions and how best to handle them. So why were you still trying to hide from him? Surely you didn’t think he was so stupid as to fall for whatever trick you were attempting to pull on him…

“Oh, I found the tie you were looking for last week! I put it in the-”

Before you could say another word, Jack let out a growl and grabbed your wrist, tugging you to his chest and holding you securely in place. Carefully brushing a strand of hair out of your face with one hand, he examined your features closely. You stood frozen in place as his firm eyes softened a little. He let out a ‘tsk’, followed by a heavy sigh.

"You know I'm not a patient man, doll."

This was true, except when it came to you. Jack had always shown a lot of patience with you —as much as he was capable of giving. It remained one of the many ways he showed you just how much he cared about you. But such patience did not extend to moments like these, where you actively tried to avoid him and hide yourself from him. He hated this. It made him angry, but more than that, it made his heart ache. And he didn't like that one bit.

“M'sorry,” you muttered quietly, looking away as you felt the tears begin to fill your eyes again.

“Uh, uh. Look at me,” J ordered. Your lip quivered as you looked back at him. His eyes were much softer now as he bent down a little to reach your eye-level.

“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s wrong. Can you do that for me, toots? Hm?”

“If I do, I’ll fall apart,” you said, your voice cracking as you desperately held back the lump in your throat.

“I’m here. I’ll put ya back together.”

You whimpered at the soft tone of his voice, paired with his thumb gently grazing over your cheek. So badly did you want to fall apart in his arms, and now he’d given you full permission to. You could no longer resist the one thing you’d been needing during your entire time apart.

The moment you melted into his embrace, the floodgates re-opened in full-force. Jack wrapped his arms around you tightly as you spoke through your sobs, telling him all about your week without him and how much you’d been struggling. When asked why you didn’t tell him sooner, you responded by saying you didn’t want to be a bother. A bother? Jack’s brain glitched as he tried to understand why you would ever feel this way. Despite this, he remained silent as you continued to talk, and felt a twinge of pain in his chest as he realized just how much you’d needed him this last week. He felt guilty for not being there and angry at himself for not recognizing sooner the severity of your burnout and overwhelm. If he had just paid more attention, he never would have left you alone in the first place.

You could argue that you were just good at covering things up, but that wasn’t an excuse for J. He held himself to quite a high standard with you, knowing that someone like you, someone willing to ignore his massive flaws as a person and love him anyway, deserves so much more than the minimum that he could give. Jack knew he wasn’t able to give you a lot of things that he wished he could, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to find every other way he could to please you and make sure you were well taken care of. And whenever he failed to keep you happy, as presented to him in moments like these, it tore him apart inside with anger and guilt. Although he’d never tell you this, you could see the swirling emotions behind his eyes which told you all you needed to know. That he truly did love and care about you more than anything else in the world, even if he didn’t always say it.

When you were done speaking, J let out a soft coo. “Sounds like my dove had a rough week. Good thing I know just what ya need.” He pulled away from the hug with a goofy smile, the same one he always put on whenever he was trying to make you feel better.

“What?” You pouted as you wiped your eyes, playing into whatever he was trying to get at.

“A break.”

His serious response quickly turned your pout into a frown. “What? No. I already spent all day doing basically nothing. I have to-”

“Noo, you don’t. You need a break. A real one.” He took your hand and began pulling you over to the bed.

“But-”

“No buts! Except for this cute little tush parking it right here,” he said as he pointed from your butt to the bed.

You stood silently and unmoving. Jack rolled his eyes with a huff and clapped his hands insistently.

“Ahem, get a move on! Or do I, uh…have to make you?”

Knowing there was no way you could possibly win against J’s demands, you slowly climbed onto the mattress. You sat awkwardly with your legs pulled up to your chest and looked up at him through your eyelashes. J kicked off his shoes and removed his vest, tossing them both to the side. He took a glance at you and shook his head, letting out a light-hearted scoff as he loosened the tie around his neck and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.

“Ya know, if you weren’t so dang cute, you’d be annoying. Now scooch!”

You made room for him as he climbed into bed. Once he was positioned with his back and neck supported by pillows, he turned to look at you.

“Well? What are ya looking at? Get over here,” he said, arms opened wide towards you.

Jack felt the air leave his lungs as you immediately dove into his chest, a breathless chuckle passing through his lips as he wrapped his arms around you and pressed a kiss to your hair.

“Alright, listen up, toots. Ya can’t keep chugging along without proper breaks-”

“You do that,” you muttered into his chest.

“Ah, very funny, sassy pants…Well, you should know better than to compare yourself to me. I’m not exactly what one would call a, uh, “good example”,” he said, smirking slightly at your pouty attitude.

“Now, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was gonna say that ya need to take better care of yourself, doll. That pretty noggin can only take so much at once, you know. Same goes for your body. And if everything is too much and ya can’t handle it, you need to tell me. I don’t like this whole “hiding how you’re doing” schtick ya got going on. So it better stop. Oh, and you’re not a burden. Not to me. So, get that out of your head. Got it?”

You nodded and sniffled into his neck. One of his hands ran up and down your back comfortingly while the other cradled the back of your head.

“Good.” There was a moment of silence before he spoke again, this time much softer and less stern. “Ya know…If you told me sooner, I would’ve come home right away…You know that, right?”

“But there’s nothing you can do. And I didn’t want to interfere with your plans,” you spoke, your voice wavering in a way that made J’s chest hurt.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong, toots. See, I may not be able to take all your problems away, but I can help where I can. Even if it’s just to make sure you get proper breaks. Or to give ya a good squeeze.” He hugged you tighter in that moment, making you giggle. Jack smiled at this, having missed the sound of your laugh up until this point. He pressed a soft kiss to your temple, leaving a small trace of red paint in its place.

“You’re more important than any of my plans. You come first, doll.” He pulled you away so he could look into your eyes once more and playfully wagged his finger in your face in a reprimanding manner. “So ya better call next time. Capiche?”

“Capiche…”

“Good…Now, uh, where’s my big smooch? I can’t wait forever, ya know.”

This elicited another giggle out of you as you eagerly leaned forward and pressed a fervent kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, you were smiling. Jack grew even softer at the sight.

“I missed you. Thanks for always putting me back together. I love you so much, J.”

Instead of responding with words, Jack showed you exactly how he felt by cupping your cheeks and pulling you into a loving kiss, followed by a bunch of sloppy kisses all over the rest of your face. You laughed, which only egged him on more. He chuckled as he continued until he felt satisfied with his work. When he finished, you had little marks of red and white paint all over your face and a big smile. Jack held your face between his hands and looked at you like he was admiring a piece of art.

“Beautiful,” he murmured. You almost melted into a puddle with how tenderly he was treating you. Heat quickly rose to your cheeks as you suddenly found yourself shy under the ardent gaze of his eyes.

Burying your face into his neck, you snuggled into him as close as you possibly could. He smelled like a mix of gunpowder, smoke, sweat, and gasoline, but you didn’t care. In fact, by now, you found this smell to be comforting —something you always missed whenever he was gone. It was a unique smell that belonged only to your J.  

You relaxed into him, allowing yourself to let go of your worries and stresses for the time being. As long as J was around, you could trust that everything would be alright. Jack would always watch out for you; he’d always keep you safe and do what was best for you. Above all else, he’d be sure to pick up all the pieces of you and stick them right back where they belonged.

As J shushed you softly while gently running his fingers up and down your spine, you surrendered to his will and drifted off to sleep, knowing that he’d have you and your worries sorted out by the time you awoke. Whatever pieces that remained would be handled together. For now, all that mattered was Jack’s slow breaths and steady beating heart as he held you tight in his arms.

No matter how many times you fell apart, he remained the only true fix, for his love was the glue that the broken pieces of your soul so desperately required.

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