#lee know x reaader

[dreaming-medium]

Animals Without Direction

Chapter Nine - Clear Your Plate

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Masterlist

The rest of the day went by rather quickly. Once you returned to your room from the healing ward, you washed up and laid down on your bed. 

Laying down on your pillow with wet hair was something that most people hated, but you always loved it. It brought you right back to nights as a child after your mother would help you bathe. Or in the warm summers where you would jump in the nearby lake to cool off right before bed.

Having wet hair as you slept kept you cool from the blistering, humid heat.

Maybe if you laid in bed long enough, sleep would finally take you. Fat chance of that happening, though. You’ve tried every night to no avail. Perhaps you should’ve asked Felix for a sleeping tonic while you were in the healing ward.

Time went on, your mind was stuck in that nebulous place of not quite sleeping, but not quite awake. 

Even with your eyes closed, sleep still never came. And before you knew it, it was time for dinner. 

You took your usual seat at the grand dining table in the throne room towards the end of the table, away from everybody else. Time and time again you’re assured that you matter, that you’re just as important to the kingdom as someone like Jisung. But you’ve only been here a little over a month, that cannot be possible. 

Chan, Minho, Jisung, Felix, Changbin, and Hyunjin all sat at seats closest to the throne. In all the meals you’ve eaten here, Chan has never sat on his throne for them. He always made a point of coming down and sitting with everyone else. 

Chan’s laughter fills your ears, it sounds genuine. How he is able to laugh at a time like this, you’ll never know. 

The bags under your eyes felt so heavy. With one elbow on the table, you rested your chin in your palm, pushing around the small serving of vegetables that you served yourself. 

Everything you’ve eaten in Miroh has been delicious, but lately you’ve lost your appetite.

Great, now you can’t sleep and you can’t eat. Tomorrow, you give yourself five laps around the keep before you black out– or hurl into the nearest bush, whichever comes first. 

The wooden seat next to you creaked as someone sat in it. You paid no mind to them. It would take too much energy to glance their way. Plus the green beans on your plate sort of shaped a dog. 

A large slice of beautifully cooked meat was suddenly placed on the plate in front of you. Your eyebrows furrowed and you stared at it. 

“You need to eat,” Seungmin tells you simply. There’s a healthy helping of everything on his plate. “You look like you’re about to wither away.”

Your head moves from your palm and you adjust your weight on your seat. Pulling each finger, you crack the knuckles individually. 

“I have no appetite.” You whisper, still staring down at your plate. “I cannot sleep, Seungmin. My mind is my worst enemy at the moment.”

Seungmin sighs a little, you can feel his eyes on you. His shoulder nudges against yours a bit. 

“If you clear your plate I will tell you about my latest assignment.”

It’s silly, really, how much your face lights up. He bribed you to eat your food like he would with a child. But you’ll be damned, because it worked. 

Slowly, as if you don’t want to show him how excited you were about this deal, you grab your fork and knife. 

“There we go,” Seungmin said under his breath. You could practically hear the smirk on his face. You’d be lying if you said his tone didn’t send a small shiver down your spine.

The meat was absolutely delicious. Melt-in-your-mouth type of delicious. 

Three bites in, you turned to look up at Seungmin for the first time since he sat down next to you. He’s still in his black leather armor.

His arms are crossed over his chest and he’s looking down at you while chewing a mouthful of food. 

“Did you just return?” You ask him. He nods, not wanting to speak with a mouthful of food. “You come and go more than I do.” You tease, even your voice sounds exhausted. It’s hollow. 

Seungmin swallows his food and chuckles. “That is because I am excellent at what I do. Chan trusts me to get the job done quickly and efficiently. I do hate wasting time. Take another bite.”

Following his orders, you cut off a piece of meat and put it in your mouth. Seungmin takes another bite of his food as well. 

Your ears tune into the various conversations around you, not a single person in the room was talking about the war. All of the conversations were about their days, who they saw, what they did. 

Swallowing the piece of meat, you look at Seungmin again. 

“Where did—“ you try to speak but he cuts you off by pointing down at your plate with his fork. 

You scoff and cut off another piece of meat and plop it in your mouth. 

Much to your chagrin, the food was doing nothing to ease the weariness from your bones. But you can slowly feel your energy levels rising. 

The two of you sat in silence with one another. He was most likely listening to every conversation at once, but you let your mind wander. 

Felix and Hyunjin were both Elves. Letting your eye wander to the mage, you spot him sitting next to Minho, both of them listening to what Jisung was saying. 

This was the first time you’ve seen him since that day. What a coincidence that it’s only days that you talk about your heritage that you see him. 

His hair is tied up again, his ears on full display. He’s not ashamed of who he is, he makes no attempt to hide it. 

Another detail you couldn’t help but notice is that no one made a point to tell you that there were Elves here. When you first met Hyunjin, Minho didn’t pull you aside on the way down to the lower level and debrief you on his blood. 

No, it was just… a simple thing. It was just who he was. 

The same way no one told you that Felix was an Elf. 

Putting the last mouthful of meat in your mouth, you look around at the other faces in the room. Who else was an Elf and you had no idea?

It’s not always obvious. In your case, since you’re only a half Elf, it’s much harder to tell unless you’re looking closely. 

But in Hyunjin’s case, you were able to see it immediately. 

Were other members of the court also Elven? Jisung? Seungmin?

Looking up at the rogue, your eye drifts to his ear. It’s rounded, no point. At least, none that you could see. Most of his ear was concealed by his chocolate brown hair. 

“Can I ask why you are staring a hole into the side of my head?” He says without turning his head. 

“Just looking.” You lie, looking down at your plate. It’s empty. “I’m done, how was your day?”

Seungmin looks over at your plate, then up at your face. “You are not hiding it in your cheeks, are you?”

A smile cracks over your face. “Nay, I am not a child.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes, “Could have had me fooled. The promise of information had you picking up your fork as quickly as you could.”

“That is simply due to morbid curiosity and you know it. I cannot help it.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought him back. Now tell me about your newest covert mission.” You nudge his shoulder the same way he had done to yours. 

Seungmin tongued his cheek and his eyes carefully scanned around the entire room. The chairs on either side of the two of you were empty. The closest person was about three seats to his left. 

But he still seemed uneasy. You couldn’t blame him.

The rogue leaned down close to your ear, his arms staying crossed and his eyes forward. “I do not trust speaking in this room. Could I convince you to accompany me to the library?”

“You may.” You answer. 

The two of you slide your chairs back after stacking your plates. Wait staff of the keep come around to take empty plates once the meal finishes. 

It still feels rude to you to leave them on the table like this, but you’ve been reassured time and time again not to worry about it. 

Seungmin leads the way in front of you towards one of the hallways off the throne room. As you’re walking away, you feel a set of eyes staring at the side of your head. 

Looking over, you’re met with Minho’s sharp gaze. His eyes flicker from yours, to Seungmin, then back to you before he looks back down at his plate. 

The grip on his tankard seems to tighten and his eyebrows twitch. The slight smile you saw on his face dropped almost immediately, replaced with a slight grimace. 

You paid no mind, you simply followed Seungmin out of the throne room and towards the library. ----------------------------------------------

The two of you found a secluded corner of the vast library. In your time here, you’d spend a large chunk of time among these shelves and dusty old books. There were so many hidden reading nooks that you’ve taken advantage of. 

You’d seen a few other people, but it was usually desolate. Especially in a hidden corner like this. 

There were two plush looking chairs turned towards each other in the corner in front of a shelf. Seungmin walked over and plopped into one. A cloud of dust puffed out on impact. 

He coughed a few times and waved his hand in front of his face. 

“I should have expected that.” He says through coughs. 

You laugh and walk over to the other chair, sitting down a lot gentler than he did. 

“So,” you start, “Tell me everything.”

“I cannot tell you everything .” He teases. There’s a playful glint in his eye. 

“You said you would tell me about it if I finished my plate. Here we are. I have been waiting for so long to hear just a small tidbit about your missions.” You smile back at him, “I am assuming that your jobs are more exciting than mine.”

Seungmin chuckles and crosses his arms. “I know for a fact that they are more exciting.”

“So then, tell me.”

He rolls his eyes at your impatience. “I got back from Inuin today.”

Your eyebrows go up a bit. “What were you doing there?”

Seungmin looks around a bit nervously. You don’t blame him. Various other holds have eyes and ears everywhere. 

He waves you closer, both of you lean in, knee to knee on your respective chairs. 

“Chan believes that we will not gain Inuin’s support in the war. He wanted me to find out what I could around their capital city.”

“And did you learn anything interesting?”

“I learned that there’s going to be a masquerade ball hosted by Inuin’s ambassador.”

You raise an eyebrow, “A masquerade ball? How does that help?”

You were expecting to hear about some truly juicy details. A planned assassination. Maybe an uprising in a village. Not a ball of all things. 

“A distraction, my dear. I cannot think of a better time to sneak into his office and see what correspondence I can find.”

His face is so close, his breath smells like the sweet berry mead he was drinking with dinner. 

“Erbus has not sent back their denial of Chan’s terms.” you say to him. 

“Do not be daft, Y/N.” Seungmin chides and leans forward a little more. “You know better than most how this is going to play out.”

You do. You really do. 

Any moment now, a messenger is going to throw open the doors to the keep with a signed letter in his hand from Sisk Killoran, Jarl of Erbus, with a true declaration of war.

After that, you’re not sure of where you’ll be sent or who your blade will meet.

You swallow, nodding at the floor for a moment. “How did you find out about this?”

“It’s amazing what you can learn by sitting at a tavern for a few hours.” 

You smile and look at him. “I wonder if you ever sat in the same tavern as I back in Erbus.”

Seungmin’s eyes narrow for a moment and he smiles at you, “Back left table of the White Bell tavern.”

That was your usual table.

Your jaw dropped and you stared into his eyes. His roguish, mischievous smile grows even wider. 

Seungmin reaches forward and holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, keeping your gaze on him. 

“I never forget a face.” He whispers, you could practically taste the mead on his lips. “Especially not one like yours.” A red hot blush creeps up your cheeks and you can feel your ears getting hotter. 

Just as fast as he grabbed you, he let go, standing from his chair. “I will see you around, Y/N. Please do attempt to get some rest. I need my other half up and running.”

Seungmin pats your cheek once before walking away, leaving you a bit flustered and hot under the collar. 

His other half. In a sense, you really were. Yin and yang, the two of you were. Light and dark. The sun and the moon. He snuck around the shadows where you kicked in doors and charged in head first. 

But more than anything at the moment, you were mad that all you learned about was a ball. You knew for a fact that he’s been sent to kill people in their sleep, but he chooses to tell you about a masquerade instead. 

Bastard. ----------------------------------------------

The moon is high in the sky when there’s a soft knock at your bedroom door. You’ve never even heard the smallest bit of activity outside your door at this hour, who could it possibly be? 

Right now, you’re in the middle of a very old, very boring book. This was your tactic to try and rest tonight: bore yourself to sleep. It wasn’t working in the slightest, and you were learning entirely too much about The Six Deities.

When you open the door, Changbin looks down at you with a shy look on his face. He seems incredibly nervous, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Part of his body was facing away from the door as well. If you had taken a few moments longer to open the door, it looks like he may have fled. 

You had never seen him look so small. Even with him taking up your entire doorway, he seems to sink in on himself. 

“Changbin,” you say in surprise, “Is everything alright?”

His jaw clenches for a moment and he looks to the side. “May I come in?”

Taken aback for a moment, you raise your eyebrows in surprise. Nonetheless, you step aside and motion for him to enter your room. 

His boots thud against the stone with every step. You close the door after him.

“I see you are settling into your living space.” He comments.

You shrug, not that he sees it. “I believe I am simply creating a second library in here.” You chuckle softly at your own joke.

There’s a beat.

Changbin takes a large breath before turning to look at you, “I believe I owe you an apology.”

Now you’re even more surprised. You stare at him in confusion, head tilted to the side. 

“This morning,” he continued, there’s a soft pink blush growing on his cheeks. “I pushed all of you too hard. It was not just you who suffered.” He reaches one hand up and rubs the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh,” you say, your lips staying in the shape of the word. You take a step closer to him. “Do not worry too much about it. I am alright now.”

“Aye,” he nods again, clearly still nervous. 

“I do appreciate the apology, but it is not needed. You are only doing what you believe is best for us.” You try so hard to soothe his mind.

Changbin finally meets your eyes, the two of you are standing about five feet away from one another. This was the first time you’ve seen him without his armor on.

He looks different– softer. Not that he doesn’t still appear to be as built as a brick wall, but without all the harsh lines of his heavy armor, he appears sweeter and gentler. The sleeves of his tunic were rolled up his forearms. Light brown trousers tucked into black boots.

The deep collar of the tunic showing off his chest. It’s taking more effort than it should to not stare. His hair appeared to still be damp, he must have just washed up. 

“I am trying,” he admits quietly, it sounds like his throat is tightening a bit. “I am not certain that I do know best.”

You nod at his words and then move to sit on the edge of your bed, patting the space next to you. Changbin hesitates for a split second, but sits next to you anyway. His arm brushes against yours.

The bed sinks under his weight. It’s now that you can smell the soap he used, it's fresh and reminds you of rainwater. He smells like a rainy day in the Spring. 

“I have never seen war,” he admits, he keeps his eye fixed on the wall in front of him. “How am I supposed to help lead our armies when I have no experience in doing so?” His hands rest on top of his thighs, gripping the fabric between his strong fingers.

You reach over and place one hand on top of his. You’ve always been a compassionate soul; like Felix, you tend to feel others’ emotions as if they were your own. Deep in your heart, you can feel Changbin’s nervousness, his anxiety.

“I do not believe any one among us has seen a war. Olera has not seen a war for many years.” You look at the side of his face while you speak.

“These soldiers need me to know what to do. They will be looking for military strategies and battle plans.” his fist clenches even harder, his knuckles growing white. You tighten your grip on his hand.

 “No one expects you to know everything, Changbin.”

“I am the one that everyone will turn to on the front lines to make the tough decisions. I have heard stories of generals making the choice to leave soldiers behind, how am I ever going to make that call?”

He looks down at you suddenly, his eyes full of sorrow. At this moment, he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve. 

“When the time comes, I am confident that you will know what to do.” You nod at him, unknowingly, he mirrors the movement. “But as of right now, no one knows what they are doing. We will have to take each day as they come.”

He nods again and looks back at the wall. His clenched fist slowly loosening.

“And if the time ever comes that you need to make that choice, your soldiers would know it was not an easy one. They trust you with their lives. I have seen it on the training grounds, and I suspect that is only a taste.”

Changbin sighs, “I show up to training at sunrise not knowing what the day will bring or what I am to have them do. Some days I wonder why Chan trusts me with this position.”

You consider his words for a long moment, “Sometimes the only reason I know what to do as a mercenary is because of things I have read in books.”

Just as he was relaxing, Changbin tenses up again.

You continue, slightly oblivious to his change in body language. “There was a book series I favored as a child, it told tales about a fearless warrior who traveled the world, slaying dragons and discovering ancient magical items. Sometimes when I am truly lost, I think to myself ‘What would she do?’ and it always helps.”

Changbin swallows and looks down at his lap, a nervous laugh comes from his chest. “I ah–” he hesitates, his ears turning red beneath his shaggy black hair. “I was never taught to read.”

His embarrassment comes off him in large waves. 

You simply hold his hand a little tighter, trying to grab his attention. 

It was in a matter of a moment that you made up your mind. “Changbin,” you say gently. He hesitates for a moment and then looks down at you. “Would you like me to teach you?” a warm smile crosses your face.

Your eyes glint with caring and compassion. Was he expecting you to belittle him for this? Most people go their entire lives without learning to read, it wasn’t something to be embarrassed about. Truly, a larger portion of Olera’s population is illiterate than literate. 

His eyes widen and his mouth forms a small ‘oh’. He looks truly taken aback by your offer. 

Changbin hesitates, his pride wants him to say no so badly. His eyes flicker between yours for a few heartbeats, as if he’s waiting for you to take it back before he eventually nods.

“Aye,” he whispers, “I would very much like that.”

You smile up at him even brighter, placing your other hand on top of his as well. 

“Then it is settled, whenever the two of us have any spare moments that line up, we will begin your lessons. You are a smart man, Changbin, it will not take you long at all.”

His cheeks turn even redder and he looks away from you quickly. 

“We could even start now if you like.” you offer. It wasn’t much of an offer, as you had already decided for him.

He stutters for a moment and looks around the room, possibly searching for an excuse. “Come on, we will make it a short lesson. Just a taste.” you beseech. 

“Fine,” he grumbles.

You chuckle and stand up from the bed, on your vanity there’s a stack of papers and books at the ready. You grab them all and head back to the bed.

“Now then, let’s start with the alphabet.”