#let stretch have a chicken 2k18

[keelywolfe]

Drabble: Crossing the Road

Summary: Look, it’s for this utterly adorable picture by the very talented @cheapbourbon, I have no excuses. If I had a top ten list of things I didn’t expect to be writing, this would be on it, LOL! Also on AO3

Notes: Is this actually sort of a series? For pete’s sake!

@cheapbourbon‘s art for this: One and Two

First ficlet I wrote for said adorable art:  Drabble: Petting

~~*~~

“Keep your eyes covered.”

“you know, if we’re going to roleplay, i could use a few minutes to prepare,” Stretch said, holding his hands over his eye sockets. He kept them closed as well, skeletal fingers being less than successful as blindfolds.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Just keep walking, I have you.”

Stretch followed the hands guiding him, frowning as he was led through their back door and he could hear the rustle of trees and grass. “It’s the middle of the afternoon, this is getting less sexy as we go, unless you’ve gotten some new kinks you haven’t revealed yet.”

“Insatiable.” Whispered hotly against his skull and Stretch shivered. “We aren’t having sex in our backyard in the middle of the day, so put the thought out of your clever but perverse mind.”

“fine, fine, but what are we…”

“All right, stop right here.” Edge settled his hands on Stretch’s shoulders. “You can uncover your eyes now.”

“’bout time. What are you up to—” Stretch trailed off as he looked, head tilting to the side in confusion. In the back corner of their yard where there had previously been little more than grass and greenery was a small shed. Or rather, it almost looked more like a children’s playhouse, except for the screened-in area next to it and--

Inside the fenced-off portion, pecking along the ground, were three small chickens eagerly searching the grass for treats, clucking contentedly.

“you got me chickens,” Stretch said blankly.

“Let’s be clear, they are your responsibility,” Edge said firmly. “They need to be cared for, fed and watered daily at least. I have a book for you on tending to them. If you can manage those calculus books of yours then I think you can manage a pamphlet. They are pullets so they are already laying, I considered chicks but these will be easier to care for and…oof!”

He staggered back a step, catching Stretch as he flung himself into his arms, clinging to Edge painfully hard and burying his face into Edge’s shoulder. Gently, Edge cupped the back of Stretch’s skull with a gloved hand, stroking the smooth bone. “Love?”

“you got me chickens.” Stretch’s voice was thick and teary, and Edge swallowed hard, leaning his own skull against Stretch’s and holding him tightly.

“I had to get you something before I came home to a menagerie,” Edge said gruffly, clearing his throat. “At least chickens remain outdoors.”

A long moment passed before Stretch finally pulled away, hastily scrubbing at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie although dampness lingered at his sockets. Edge took the moment to step forward and unlatch the door of the coop, gesturing for Stretch to follow him.

Immediately, the chickens ran over to Edge, churring and bawking softly as they shuffled around his boots.

Stretch raised a brow bone.

Edge’s cheekbones took on a reddish hue. “I’ve been caring for them the past few days at the seller’s. I wasn’t about to get you chickens that weren’t going to be suitable pets.”

He crouched down and ran a hand over the larger white one, “This one is Noodle Soup, since you seemed taken with the name,” he patted the other, smallish red one. “This one is Dumpling,” another pat on the smallest black one, “and this one is Nugget.”

“you named my chickens noodle, dumpling, and nugget,” Stretch said gleefully. He sank to the ground, carefully reaching out and the chickens accepted his petting unconcernedly, pecking at the ground in search of tasty bugs.

“I’m familiar with your humor,” Edge said dryly.

“yeah, you go with that,” Stretch grinned. “you weren’t giggling on the inside at all…oh!” The larger chicken hopped up on Stretch’s legs, inspecting him and pecking lightly at his sweatshirt. “hey, she likes me!”

“Of course she does,” Edge settled next to him, “I like you and we both know I have impeccable taste. My standards are very high.”

It didn’t get him the laugh he expected. Instead, Stretch looked up at him, faint orange dampness threatening again at his sockets and a chicken in his lap. He petted it, smoothing the soft white feathers and said softly, “thank you.”

It would have taken a stronger Monster than Edge to resist leaning in, nuzzling a gentle kiss against his teeth. “You’re welcome, love,” he told him, adding with no little bemusement, “I hope you still appreciate it a month from now when they’ve settled in.”

“I hope you’re looking up new egg recipes or you’re going to be peddling something other than muffins at the embassy in a month,” Stretch teased and Edge kissed him again, carefully pushing Noodle Soup to the ground as he pulled his lover in closer, breathing in the warm, sweet scent of him and the softness of his joy.

 -finis-

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[keelywolfe]

FIC: Two Degrees of Jeff, part 1

 or more properly:  Two Degrees of Andy Jeff

Summary: Two days in the life of Andy...er....Jeff, and his skeleton friends.

Notes: I’ve always liked an outside perspective on my favorite boys and Jeff’s is fun to write. Warning for mentions of depression.

Also on AO3

By Any Other Name masterlist, recently updated!

~~*~~

The Beanery was, by far, not the closest coffee shop to Jeff’s apartment. By his reckoning, the bus took him past two Starbucks on the way here. He didn’t mind going out of his way to meet Stretch, though; thanks to the ‘Monster Friendly’ symbol stickered on the window glass up front, they could pretty much guarantee being able to meet in peace for a coffee and a chat.

Not that they’d had any issues past the whole ‘bus incident’ but eh, why take a chance? Plus, they had great coffee.

On this particular morning, Jeff got there early so he could buy his own coffee before Stretch could do it for him. Passive-aggressive, maybe, but hey it worked. He wasn't quite at the same level with the baristas as Stretch was, but she gave him a smile of recognition before taking his order.

Twenty minutes later his coffee was gone, and he was still waiting. The buses in Ebott were pretty dependable and to be honest, so was Stretch. He loved texting, Jeff couldn’t imagine he wouldn’t send one or several if he was running late, probably laced with bad jokes and puns.

He gave it ten more minutes before sending one of his own. hey, you running behind? Not to get on your ass, I know you don’t actually have one

At the very least, that should have gotten him an lol, and more likely a bombardment of terrible jokes. But his phone remained stubbornly quiet.

Jeff chewed his lip, considering. He could text Edge, let him know he was a little worried. The problem with Edge was he didn’t do anything by halves and would probably be on his way home or send out the hounds or something. They were meeting for coffee, not planning world domination, there was no reason to hit worst case scenario right out of the gate.

Option two was to take a ride over there himself. It was only about a fifteen-minute ride and another bus would be here in five. If Stretch didn’t get off the bus, then Jeff was getting on it, he decided. He gathered up his stuff, tossed his cup in the trash and gave the barista a wave before he went out to the stop.

A few monsters got off the bus, one of them he recognized from the wedding and they gave him a toothy grin as they walked past. No skeleton monster though, so Jeff scanned his bus pass and took a seat. With his luck, Stretch was on the next one and they’d be like ships passing in the night, but eh, he’d rather risk acting like a bad romantic comedy than just sit there waiting.

No text came, no sign that Stretch was only running late. At the gate to New New Home, the guards checked his ID diligently even though Jeff was here a few times a week, and Jeff thought he might mention that to Antwan, let him know they were doing their jobs right. It was probably boring hanging out at the guard station all day, they could use some recognition.

The shuttle dropped him off and the brief walk to the house offered no answers. Edge’s car was gone, no surprise there, and a peek in the garage told him that his motorcycle was inside, beneath a heavy dust cover. Not that he thought Stretch had taken it out for a spin or anything; from what he knew, Stretch hated driving which was why he stuck to the bus.

Jeff knocked hesitantly on the door, then a little harder, and waited. The minutes ticked by and after a moment of internal debate, Jeff gingerly turned the knob. The door swung open, unlocked, into the darkened front room. Okay, now he was getting more than a little concerned.

The living room offered no clues, and neither did the kitchen. Not so much as a coaster was out of place, only a coffee cup was drying in the dish rack. The coffee pot was on, at least, half a pot still sitting on the warmer, but there was that faint, burnt smell in the air that said it had been there for a long time.

Jeff had never been upstairs and felt like an invader going up them, every creak accusatory.

The first room was locked and he left it alone. The second was a guest room, the blankets drawn tightly over the bed with military precision and the paint a welcoming sunny yellow. The third revealed a large bed, the blankets and pillows rucked up around a shape beneath them.

Okay, now he knew where Stretch was, so what did he do? Jeff shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, trying to decide. Let him sleep? But maybe he was sick or hurt or something, maybe he needed help.

It felt so completely wrong to walk around the bed, leaning in to get a look at him.

The covers were rising and falling ever so slightly with his breathing and his sockets were closed. It really was fascinating the way their skulls moved; they weren’t pliable like human flesh but somehow it worked. Magic, the universal answer to all Monster questions.

“Stretch?” Jeff whispered, reaching out to gently shake him, trying again, “Stretch?”

He stirred, his sockets blinking open. His eye lights were wide and almost fuzzy, and Stretch looked at him in confusion.

“andy?” Stretch asked, his voice rough. He cleared his throat and sat up. The blankets slipped down and left him bare to the hips and Jeff felt his face warm, looking away.

It was a note on how much his perspective had changed that he could be embarrassed to unintentionally see some naked bone. But then, Edge and Stretch didn’t look like Halloween decorations or science room displays; their bones were kinda similar to humans but not completely. Plus, they were so very obviously alive, their magic was visible in their joints, and the way their skulls were somehow malleable. They were Monsters that looked like skeletons, an important distinction.

“andy?” Stretch said again, and his gaze sharpened, taking in the room. “what...uh…” He hauled the blankets back up a little more modestly.

“Sorry, I was worried,” Jeff said meekly, a little embarrassed at coming all the way out here to creep into Stretch’s bedroom like a fucking idiot. Should have texted again or maybe knocked harder, he should’ve done something. “You weren’t at the coffee shop and…”

Stretch’s groan interrupted him, and he flopped backwards on the bed. “fuck, i’m sorry, i just…i was having a bad day and i went back to sleep.” He didn’t seem worried about Jeff sneaking into his room like an idiot, but then, that was Stretch all the way. His concepts of proper behavior were a hell of a lot looser than the ones Jeff had grown up with.  “i completely forgot we were supposed to meet. i’m really sorry.”

“It happens,” Jeff shrugged that off. To be honest, he was only relieved that nothing was wrong. Except— “Is everything okay.”

There was a long pause as Stretch seemed to actually consider the question. “yeah. i think so…shit,” he said suddenly, “i haven’t been outside to see the chickens, don’t even remember shutting off my alarm.”

“You want some help?” Jeff asked, equal parts hesitant and curious. “I haven’t seen the chickens yet outside of Instagram.”

That got him a grin. “sure, handy andy, come on out and live up to your name. give me a minute to get dressed, I’ll meet you downstairs.” He hooked a thumb at the door and Jeff went, sitting on the sofa until Stretch tromped down the stairs, dressed from toes to throat in jeans and a heavy sweatshirt, a bright knit hat on his skull.

The chicken coop looked sort of like a gingerbread house, except instead of Hansel and Gretel, three birds came barreling out of an entrance near the bottom, clucking eagerly as they waited by the wire mesh gate.

“sorry, gals, it’s a little late,” Stretch sighed, gently pushing them back with his toes as he opened the door. The chickens milled around his legs, getting even louder as Stretch poured feed into a little trough. They were bigger somehow than Jeff expected but what the hell did he know about chickens? He was more familiar with them in their nugget form.

Stretch left the door open as he came back out. “give them a minute and they’ll wander out to inspect you properly. c’mon, let’s have a seat.”

Beneath a large tree was a frankly charming little patio that wouldn’t be out of place at a sidewalk cafe, with chairs and a small table. Stretch dusted fallen leaves from both and sat down.

“you’d think the leaves would drive the Edgelord nuts,” Stretch said, stifling a yawn, “and that he’d have them bagged and tagged before they hit the ground, but he actually likes them. tries to say they’re good for the grass.”

“I like them, too,” Jeff admitted. “I didn’t see too many leaves where I grew up.”

“yeah?” Stretch chuckled. “me either. okay if i smoke?”

“It’s your yard.”

“it’s your lungs.”

Jeff shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me, go ahead, just exhale the other way.”

It was chilly out, well into October as it was, but in a good sort of way, the kind you could enjoy on your face so long as the rest of you was bundled up. There was a faint hint of smoke as Stretch lit his cigarette, but the breeze carried it the other direction. They were both in warm sweatshirts in the same autumn colors as the leaves, and it was nice to sit out here and watch the chickens, take in the breezy air.

Or at least Jeff thought it was, until Stretch tapped the ash of his cigarette into an ashtray on the little table, saying quietly, “i really am sorry.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Jeff insisted because seriously? What else did he have to do anyway? Nothing that he’d enjoy more than this, for sure.

“except for how you had to drag your ass all the way out here,” Stretch said. It was his tone of voice that was really bringing home how serious he was. Stretch had, not an accent exactly, but a way of speaking that was sort of laconic, his words rounded and easy. Right now, he sounded more like Edge, all crisp syllables.

“It’s not even twenty minutes and I was coming here later to meet Antwan anyway,” Jeff countered. “I didn’t have to take an Alaskan expedition or anything.” For a minute, he thought that was it and they could move past this, maybe enjoy the morning.

“you should probably know i’m not a very good friend,” Stretch said abruptly, ruining that hope. “i have a fuckton of problems that edge already has to deal with, so i won’t blame you if you want to back out of the whole friend thing.”

“Seriously?” Jeff groaned. “Man, you overslept one time. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”

“No but…look, it doesn’t make you an asshole to not want to deal with me.” He exhaled long and slow. “i have depression with manic episodes, ptsd, plus a laundry list of issues i could put together for you.”

“Okay,” Jeff said slowly. “So, you’ve got a diagnosis. From your therapist?” Something about that made a flash of discomfort cross Stretch’s face and he ducked his head, looking at his untied shoes.

“yeah,” he muttered.

“Good, that’s much better than WebMD. Besides, if you look there, it’ll probably say you have cancer.” It made him laughed a little in a way that sounded more like him and Stretch shook his head as Jeff went on, “We’re friends, okay? Even if you fuck up sometimes. Besides, this gives me an opportunity to fuck something up.”

Stretch gave him a wobbly smile. “you think you’re going to fuck something up?”

“Oh, I know I am,” Jeff said matter-of-factly, “If there’s one thing I’m great at, it’s fucking up. But if we’re both fuck ups then we make the best of friends, right?”

“i’m not sure that theory pans out. might need a little more study.”

“Sounds good.”

The chickens had wandered out of the coop during their stroll through the emotional minefield and were at their feet, shuffling through the leaves. Jeff flailed a little when the largest one hopped onto his leg, riding his wild movements easily and plucking at the front of his shirt.

“Oh,” Jeff stared at it in surprise, his hands rising and falling as he tried to decide what to do with them. “I didn’t know chickens were…friendly.”

“these ones are pretty friendly,” Stretch grinned. “they’re all hens. you can pet her, go ahead, noodle likes it.”

Hesitantly, he did, stroking the soft white feathers as the chicken clucked. “Oh,” Jeff said again, softly, “they’re nice, aren’t they.”

“They are,” Stretch said. His tone was a little odd, a little quiet, but Jeff’s attention was on the chicken in his lap. The other two came over to inspect his shoes, demanding their share of his attention and Jeff couldn’t help laughing, trying to pet all of them at once while Stretch only sat at watched him, lighting another cigarette and smiling.

end part 1

Read Part 2

[keelywolfe]

Drabble: Petting

Summary: a short piece based off this adorable art by @cheapbourbon http://cheapbourbon.tumblr.com/post/176975221609/here-chic-chic-chics

Notes: Sorry, I’m on vacation with very little net access so I’m posting this on my phone. I couldn’t resist, that art was too adorable. Hopefully I’m doing this right! Probably in the ‘by any other name’ series but not specifically.

~~*~~

Edge had known from the second he saw the advertisement that going to the petting zoo was a good idea.

Oh, it was a joke among them that Rus was one with more childish tendencies but they all knew that for what it was; a joke. They all had their quirks, Sans or Papyruses. Edge collected action figures and had no shame about it. And Stretch…

He looked over at where his lover was crouched, both hands outstretched and his expression one of glee as a pair of chickens came over to peck the feed from them.

Stretch loved animals, the more adorable, the better, and while he’d attempted a sarcastic jab or two when they’d arrived, his eagerness had finally overcome his innate tendency to hide his excitement over anything deemed ‘childish’.

There were a few other Monsters here with little ones and plenty of human parents leading their own children to the different stalls. Only a couple of parents had seemed appalled at the presence of Monsters and even they had left discreetly enough. No scenes today, no shouting or unpleasantness, no watching Stretch’s cautious excitement fade into mute unhappiness.

No, today there were woolly lambs to hold and baby cows who would suck eagerly at your fingertips. Tiny goats that fell over whenever a child was too loud and right now, there were chickens, clucking softly as they fed from Stretch’s palm and allowing him to gently smooth his other hand over their feathers.

“i need one,” Stretch announced and Edge shook his head. He crouched next to him and carefully ran his palm over the little creature. It was softer than he’d expected.

“You’d be bored in a week,” Edge told him. “Then I would be taking care of it and chickens in my care become dinner.”

“he would not, don’t listen to him, noodle soup,” Stretch patted the chicken and it cocked its head at him, probably hopeful for more food and not at all concerned about the moniker it had been given.

A distraction was in order, “They have an alpaca on the other side over there.

Stretch’s eye-lights went bright and didn’t quite morph into little hearts, but Edge was sure it was a close call. “seriously? come on, let’s go!”

He grabbed Edge’s arm and pulled him along, chickens abandoned although he was careful making his way out of the pen. From Stretch’s glance at his feet, Edge could guess that the subject of a pet chicken was not yet forgotten. That could be for later, right now there was an alpaca to pet.

Fin

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[keelywolfe]

Drabble: Poultry in Motion

Notes: Help me, please. I can’t stop writing about the chickens, it’s becoming an addiction.

@cheapbourbon ‘s adorable art for this: One and Two

First ficlet I wrote for said adorable art:  Drabble: Petting

And also the second:  Drabble: Crossing the Road

And the third (Please, please stop me) Drabble: E-I-E-I-O

Also on AO3

~~*~~

It was still dark when Edge awoke, a glance at his phone confirming it was only just past 3am. Sleepily, he took in the empty bed next to him and sighed, abandoning the warmth of the blankets and slipping on his robe.

It was pleasantly cool outside and Edge shut the sliding glass door behind him, walking through the dew-damp grass to the back of the yard.

As he’d suspected, sitting inside the coop was the dim shape of his lover, his eye lights visible in the darkness. Edge opened the gate and stepped inside, settling down to sit next to him even as he mourned the laundry he was going to have to do tomorrow.

“what are you doing up?” Stretch asked, his voice carrying in the hush.

“I woke up with enough room to sleep comfortably for once so of course I was worried about you,” Edge said dryly. Very, very carefully, he reached out to where Nugget was settled in Stretch’s lap and stroked a finger over her back.  “How is she?”

“all right,” Stretch said quietly.

Earlier that day, their smallest bird had managed to squeeze in between the feed trough and the fence where its larger brethren couldn’t fit and gotten stuck. In her panicked thrashing, she’d managed to break a wing.

When Stretch had called him in hysterics, Edge had first thought there was another attack. He’d never understood the physics behind their ability to teleport but in that moment, he swore his soul had made a valiant attempt. When he’d finally calmed Stretch down enough to figure out what was going on, he’d contacted a local veterinarian and had emergency access to New New Home granted for the Human.

Considering his actions today, Edge was planning on having him added to the permanent list. He had been more than a little concerned that the Human would simply suggest putting the animal down being that it was merely a chicken. Instead, after his initial disconcertment at being surrounded by Monsters, he’d been extraordinarily kind, masterfully soothing Stretch’s panic, binding the little creature’s wing and giving them instructions to care for her.

He was going to have a surprise of his own when he got the check for his services, Edge was certain. He’d made sure of it.

“The vet said she’ll be fine,” Edge reminded him. The little bird seemed to be sound asleep, the bandage stark against her dark feathers. “Two weeks in isolation for it to heal and she’ll be back out here to find more trouble.”

“i know,” Stretch sighed. “i just couldn’t sleep.” He was quiet for a long moment. “can you promise me something?”

The urge to say ‘of course’ was automatic, and resisting it was a lesson hard learned. “What, love?”

“promise me if one of them does die that you won’t…you know…”

He didn’t know, not for a long second, and then it hit him. “Papyrus!” Edge exclaimed in wounded indignation, “You can’t possibly believe that I would actually cook your pet!”

He hunched over guiltily, “no, no, of course not. i just…i didn’t…”

“Oh, for…I hereby promise that I would never cook one of your pets,” Edge said irritably. “Honestly, this isn’t the underground, they have supermarkets here!”

“i know!” Stretch moaned. “i didn’t really think you would.”

“Of course not. They’re too old to be good eating now, anyway,” he teased, laughing softly as Stretch elbowed him.

“yeah, yeah, always a funny guy.”

Edge shifted to sit behind Stretch, his legs on either side of him and his arms wrapped around his chest. He settled his chin on Stretch’s shoulder and looked down at the small chicken in his lap. There was a faint, odd glow, he saw, narrowing his sockets, greenish and dim.

“Are you actually trying to use healing magic on a chicken?”

“just a little!” Stretch said defensively, “it might work and if it doesn’t, it won’t hurt her.”

“Fool,” Edge said with soft affection.  

“i’m your fool,” Stretch told him, loftily.

“That you are,” Edge agreed, nuzzling the side of his skull. “But then, I’m sitting with you in a chicken coop in the middle of the night. I suspect we’re a matched set.”

“yeah.” Stretch leaned back against him with a sigh. “you and me, like chickens in a coop.”

“No one in here but us chickens,” Edge whispered to him and Stretch giggled, elbowing him again.

“why are you never funny when other people can hear it? no one believes me.”

“I suppose I mis-laid my sense of humor.”

“stop,” Stretch sputtered, quivering as he struggled to keep quiet, “you’ll wake up Nugget. Besides, you’re poaching all my best yolks.”

Edge pressed his fingers firmly to Stretch’s teeth. “Hush, you’ll wake Nugget.”

“yes, dear,” Stretch snickered, sighing as he snuggled deeper into Edge’s arms and pet his sleeping chicken. And tried to heal. Eh, couldn't hurt. 

-finis-

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