#letterboxes melbourne

[skylinesolutions12]

Flyer Distribution Melbourne!               Leaflet Drop! Letterbox Distribution

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Under the Mistletoe || OP81

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x bff!fem!reader Summary: Sick of his friends pining for each other but two stupid to realise it was mutual, Logan sets about making sure they both get their Christmas wish. Warnings: pining, angst, fluff WC: 2.2k

“Hold up, let me find his spare key,” Logan said as he balanced his box on top of the one you already carried.

“Just use mine,” you said as you carefully turned. “Back pocket, left. Other left, dude.”

“My bad.” Logan grabbed the keychain and tried the ones that weren’t your car or letterbox keys. “He gave you a key?”

“Just so I can water the plants while he’s away, and make sure the stove is turned off.”

Logan laughed, turning the right key and opening the door. “He doesn’t even cook.”

You shrugged and followed him into Oscar’s house. “Doesn’t stop him thinking he’s left it on as soon as he’s at the airport.”

It was like walking into your own apartment, there was a home comfort to hanging your keys on the hook that had your initials and hanging your coat on the rack. Picking your box up again, you followed Logan to the kitchen and deposited it on the bench before grabbing two glasses and pouring you both a much deserved drink.

“This is why people don’t believe you are ‘just friends’,” Logan stated, chuckling when you rolled your eyes at him and continued to help yourself to the snacks Oscar kept stocked for you.

“Just shut up and hang the decorations before I overlook your usefulness.”

Logan returned to his box, unpacking the tinsel and bunting that you had bought. “At least you didn’t deny it this time.”

“We are definitely just friends, Lo.” You looked down at the crisp packet and muttered under your breath, “I’m not his type anyway.”

You didn’t notice Logan pause, but you did look up when he shoved his handful back in the box. “What?”

“What?” you echoed.

“What did you say?”

“We are just friends.”

“No, after that.” He leaned back against the kitchen benchtop and crossed his arms. “How do you know you’re not his type?”

“Because we are friends, we talk about these things,” you said with a shrug. “Can we not talk about this right now? He’s going to be home in a few hours.”

“We have time,” Logan said with a shake of his head. “What makes you think you’re not his type?”

You huffed in annoyance and grabbed the decorations yourself, taking them to the living room since Logan was going to be no help. “Because I’m not, okay. He likes funny girls. He wants someone he can have a laugh with to take his mind off work when he gets home. And pretty too, actually he said ‘beautiful’.”

“Okay…” Logan stared at you until you grew uncomfortable.

“And he's surrounded by models at every event.”

“So why isn’t he dating one of them then?”

“Because his standards are obviously high if they aren’t pretty enough for him. I don’t stand a chance.”

Logan shook his head and groaned. “Have you told him that you love him?”

“Of course I have, I tell him all the time.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

You gave him a look that warned him not to ask another stupid question. “I’m not going to risk our friendship when my relationships never end well. I’d rather be his friend forever, than an ex I never see again.”

“God, you are both so stupid.” Logan brushed you aside as you tried to jump and reach the hooks high up the wall. “Give me that before you hurt yourself.”

You watched on as he hung the tinsel around the room with minimal guidance needed and deemed it safe enough to leave him in charge. Oscar was fairly tidy, compared to the other men you know, but his pet hate was making his bed. He would always leave it unmade claiming he was only going to make it messy again that night.

You went upstairs and made the bed before seeing the laundry basket was overflowing. He mustn’t have had time to do it between his trip to Baku, the McLaren Factory and then his short trip home to Melbourne. That was why you were in his house, setting it up for another Christmas he would miss with his family. You didn’t want him to feel alone so you were bringing Australia to him.

You lost track of time when you found his whites mixed in with the colours and you tutted to yourself as you separated them to soak in the sink.

“You don’t have to do that,” Oscar said when he found you in his laundry, both the dryer and the washing machine working as hard as you.

“Hey, you’re home!” You dropped the clothes you were folding and threw your arms around him. His tired chuckle made your heartbeat a little fast as he embraced you back and buried his face in your neck. “How’s mum and dad? And your sisters? Did they like the presents?”

His head grew heavier as he leaned against you and nodded. “Of course they did, you always know what they want.”

“Not me, you,” you corrected as you brushed a hand over his messy hair. “You got them remember.”

Oscar pulled back with a shy smile. “I think everyone knows you are the mastermind. I would have just given them a gift card.”

You laughed at the truth as the dryer finished another load but Oscar took your hand and towed you out of the laundry. “I’ll do it later,” he stated. “Logan’s already got the tree up but there’s one thing missing.”

Your jaw dropped as you saw the living room had been completely transformed into an Australian Christmas so Oscar would feel at home. A pine tree sat in the corner of the room, needles scattered around the base from trying to manoeuvre it into place. Like the ceiling, green and gold tinsel snaked around the tree but it was the floor that caught your eye.

“The sand was meant to be in the pool,” you laughed as you pointed to the small children’s sized blow up pool still in the box. Logan had poured the bags of golden sand around the tree and the wooden floor now resembled a tiny beach.

“You know, that makes more sense,” Logan admitted.

You bit your lip but it did little to stifle the laugh and when Oscar’s deeper laugh joined there was no holding back. The three of you collapsed laughing onto the couch to embrace the beach themed room and you kicked your shoes off to dig your toes into the sand.

“It’s so weird to imagine,” you chuckled, the snow falling outside a complete contradiction to the scene inside. The central heating had been cranked up to its hottest setting and it truly felt like summer. “Christmas is for making snowmen and having hot chocolate by the fire.”

Oscar draped his arm over the back of your cushion and stretched his legs out after his long flight. “How about next year I can take you home to experience this first hand?”

You smiled at the idea but you couldn’t make that commitment by saying yes, even if you wanted nothing more than to make it happen. “Maybe, let’s just see what the year brings. Who knows, you might want to take your girlfriend home.”

He looked at you with a frown. “I don’t have a girlfriend, yet.”

“Exactly, yet.”

“Idiots,” Logan mumbled as he got up. “I’m getting a drink. You guys want one?”

You both thanked him and as he left the room Oscar patted your knee. “Star time.”

You grinned at the fact he remembered your favourite part of setting the tree up and his hands settled on your hips when you reached it. “I can’t be bothered getting the ladder out,” he said before he picked you up. You placed the glittery star on the highest point and adjusted it a few times more than necessary until Oscar laughed and eased you down. But his hands still remained on your hips. “It’s perfect.”

Logan returned and the moment shattered as you took your drink from him and cleared your throat. “Merry Christmas, my orphan friends.”

“Thanks for the adoption,” Logan chuckled. “If I can’t spend Christmas with my family it’s nice to at least have you guys.”

“That probably sounded better in his head,” Oscar teased before raising his glass too. “But he’s right, thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Your cheeks warmed at the smile on his face and you were sure he felt it when he pressed a chaste kiss to one. A little frazzled, you tried to hide the effect he had on you and pointed to the mess on the floor. “Do you think we can build a sandcastle?”

“No, but I think we can build a snowman. Go put your coat on, I know you want to.”

You didn’t have to be told twice and Logan laughed as Oscar followed you to the backyard. “You two have fun, I like the heat more.”

Your breath misted as it hit the chilly air and you rushed to pull your gloves on, something you should have done before stepping outside.

“Here, let me,” Oscar offered, shoving his own in his pocket in the meantime. He took your woollen mittens and held them open for you before tightening the wrists and sealing the warmth that remained inside. “You look like a marshmallow.”

You bent down and started to collect the snow needed to make the first ball and narrowed your eyes at him when he joined you a moment later, his gloves already on. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” he smirked. “Marshmallows are cute.”

“Cute?” You wrinkled your nose and gently nudged him with your shoulder. “Now that’s an insult.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “To you or the marshmallow?”

“Uh, both,” you decided with a definitive nod.

“Okay, sorry,” he apologised and then bit his bottom lip as he stared at you over the growing snowball. “Marshmallows are beautiful and my favourite thing in the whole wide world. I love marshmallows.”

“Wow, weirdo, they aren’t that great.”

Logan had been about to ask if you wanted another drink but instead he closed the kitchen window. “Marshmallows, idiots.”

“Not bad for an Aussie,” you commented as you wrapped your arms around his waist and admired the finished product. “A shame you didn’t have a carrot in your fridge.”

Oscar pushed the cucumber nose in further to stop it drooping down before hugging you tighter. “Or a spare scarf, you must be freezing.” He pulled his own off one and draped it around your neck so yours could stay on the snowman. “Ready to go back in?”

You nodded reluctantly and let him go, following him into the warmth where Logan sat in the leather recliner watching Home Alone. “Nice to see you waited for the rest of us,” Oscar noted as he dropped onto the couch and pulled you down with him. 

“You know it word for word.”

“So do you.”

“I ran out of things to do,” he said with a shrug.

Everything had been seen up so you were confused by the statement. “What did you do?”

Logan didn’t answer as he tossed another handful of popcorn in his mouth before blindly pointing in your direction, but higher. You and Oscar looked up and found a small wreath hanging where a picture frame of the Albert Park F1 circuit was, woven into the greenery you spotted it - Mistletoe. 

“Dude!” “Mate!”

Logan laughed to himself and kept watching the movie. “You know the rules. Kiss or streak in the snow.”

“I don’t remember it being streaking,” Oscar commented as he turned to you.

You looked at him too, your eyes drifting down to his lips. You had spent countless daydreams imagining how they would feel against yours.

“Don’t overthink it, the rule needed changing,” Logan mumbled. “So…”

“It’s really cold outside,” you murmured as you dragged your eyes back up to meet his. 

“Way too cold,” he agreed with the smallest of nods. The air was pregnant with the pause before he exhaled and reached for you. His hand curled behind your nape and drew you closer, so slowly you weren't sure he was going to change his mind or thinking you would. If only he knew.

Your heart thumped loudly as you felt his breath on your skin and your hands found their way to his shoulders and ran along the thick muscles that climbed his neck. “Osc,” you whispered softly as you felt the warmth radiating off his lips but still they didn’t touch.

“Yeah?” he asked, the corners tugging up as he heard the need in your tone.

“Please...”

He pulled back just far enough to see the burning desire in your eyes and his thumb stroked your jawline. “Been waiting years for this.”

You couldn’t tell who moved first, but you both moved together, his mouth slanting over yours perfectly like they were made to complement each other. Your fingers tangled in his hair and you tasted the beer on his tongue when he slipped it between your parted lips with a deep moan.

Popcorn rained over your heads and you broke apart to glare at the very smug looking man responsible. “About fucking time! I love you, but you are both idiots.”

[brasideios]

My Sunshine Jimmy

So, along with My Boy Charlie, another archetypal character I write is Jimmy - though just like Charlie, he's taken on many forms, including appearing [without my say so] in my Ancient Greek OC Antidas (with some variation to fit context, of course).

These archetypes aren't gender specific by the way; in my current project, Arity is also in many ways a Jimmy; and as I shared on Sunday, they do get into a relationship together, so they're a lot sometimes.

Jimmy originally came into being in my (published, now unpublished) pair of novellas titled 'Double White Lines'.

In the first of these, Freeway, he's introduced through the eyes of Gracie [another of my archetypes who will also be in the novel I'm writing now, so more on her soon.]

So, Jimmy and Gracie from Freeway:

Original Jimmy

It was sunny outside, and quiet except for the distant hum of traffic on the freeway behind the house, where it ran west towards Langarrin. Gracie sat on the brick letterbox, kicking her heels against one side, waiting for Jimmy to come pick her up. He was her best friend – they’d known each other since early childhood. Besides her sister, Lou, he was the only person that she had any real attachment to.

She didn’t have long to wait. He pulled up in the Rex, shorthand for the WRX, a rally car that was fashionable amongst a certain type of guy. She jumped into the passenger’s seat. 

‘I’m glad you dressed for the occasion,’ he said, hazel eyes sparkling with humour. ‘Those are your best trackies, I s’pose?’

She returned the favour, looking him up and down, pointedly eyeballing his tight pink shirt and skinny jeans, and scoffed.

‘Where’s the metrosexual convention?’

He chuckled and turned his attention to pulling the Rex out into the street. 

Once they were on their way, he said, ‘Got some news - don’t go getting all heartbroken on me, though...’

‘A posting?’ He was in the Navy. Postings were a fact of life. 

He nodded. ‘Melbourne. I leave in a couple of weeks.’

‘How long?’

‘Nine months probably. It might get extended.’

She just nodded, taking a moment to adjust to the news.

She felt thrown of balance each time he went away. Somewhere, at the back of her mind, she thought he wouldn’t come back; and it was true in a certain way. The longer postings always returned some new variation of the Jimmy she’d known before.

It would’ve been easier if they’d been any good at keeping in touch – but Gracie never knew what to say, and Jimmy was always so busy – sometimes totally uncontactable for months at a time, and sometimes just taken up with whatever friends he was mixing with at the time.

It was understandable that their relationship got put on ice, she thought, all things considered; but it was still hard to be left behind and not take it to heart.

They arrived at the Henley Maccas a few minutes later and went in.

Once they had their food, they took a table near the window, looking out on the shabby carpark.

Gracie slowly drank her shake as he told her about his plans, in between scoffing down two burgers and fries. He always ate like he was ravenous.

During a lull in his monologue, she said, ‘It’s been a while since you’ve been to Melbourne, right?’

‘Yeah, a few years.’

‘Guess you’re about due to check in with your Melbourne wife, then. Visit the kids.’ It was a long running joke between them – the classic, about sailors having a family in every port.

‘What did we call the last one? Joseph?’

‘Joe. He was a pizza baby.’

He snorted. ‘That’s right. I’m really looking forward to having Papa Joe’s again. Best pizza I’ve ever eaten.’

A couple of girls walked into the fast-food joint. They caught Jimmy’s attention. 

‘Who’s that with Jude?’ he asked Gracie, gesturing with his chin.

Gracie looked over her shoulder. He was talking about a small, dark-haired girl who was probably around twenty-five, maybe Italian or something like that, dark-haired and pretty.

‘That’s Kirsten’s younger sister, Rosie.’

‘Good-lookin’.’

Gracie rolled her eyes. ‘You’d shag anything, honestly.’

‘Not anything,’ he said, with some dignity. ‘I wouldn’t touch Lou with a ten-foot pole.’

She grinned. ‘Just as well. She’d shank you if you tried.’

He laughed, but he managed to catch Jude’s eye, and the two girls came over.

‘Hey, Jimmy.’

‘Jude. What’s goin’ on?’

‘Just chillin’.’

‘Nice.’ He looked at Rosie. ‘You’re Kirsten’s sister, aren’t ya?’

Gracie smothered a smile. She found it amusing the way he broadened his accent to flirt; inexplicably, it seemed to work more often than not. It was working on Rosie, anyway; she smiled artfully, sizing him up. 

‘And you’re Jimmy. You used to date Kirsten’s bestie.’

‘Nah - I wouldn’t say date. We used to be friends, though.’

‘Friends, huh?’ she said, in a playful way.

‘What’re ya getting’ at?’ he said, leaning forward a little, echoing her tone.

‘Oh, nothing. I’ve just heard of you.’

‘And my reputation?’

She smiled, all traces of pretended shyness gone.

‘You might say that.’

Gracie saw Jimmy relax. He knew at that exact moment that she was keen. 

‘What’re ya doing tonight?’

‘Nothing much. Why?’

‘You should come down the Pipes.’

‘I might,’ Rosie said, mustering a hint of implied resistance. ‘I’ll see.’

‘Sweet,’ he said, standing up. ‘Carn, Gracie. Let’s beat it.’

She followed him out, saying bye to the two girls as she passed. They pretended not to hear her.  

Older, more mature (?) Jimmy

So in Arity, Jimmy is older, but he is still a clown. As I said above, Arity is also like him - and this is my first attempt at showing the chaos of a conversation between two idiots. I'm not sure I am happy with it, but this is where it's at right now :)

~~~

A minute later, a guy came in from outside, shutting the door behind himself. He looked at me and cheerfully said, ‘Good morning.’

I replied with a non-committal ‘Morning,’ and went on drinking my coffee.

He said humorously, ‘Not even a good morning? Hard to believe, when we live in this paradise.’ He gestured with an expansive, vaguely theatrical arm, indicating the Lodge and perhaps Langarrin as a whole.

'Living the dream,' I said, very dryly.

There was nothing else to pay attention to, so I found myself listening to him pouring cereal then milk into a bowl behind me, before making coffee. He was humming half under his breath as he did it – I couldn’t identify the song.

To my surprise, he came and sat opposite me. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

I was struck by his face – he had what I’ve always called a kind face, complete with dimples; though he was otherwise just an average looking guy – hazel eyed, dark-haired, tattooed, in his late twenties or early thirties. 

He said, ‘I’m Jimmy,’ and offered his hand over the table. 

‘I’m Arity.’

‘Like hilarity without the hill?’

I snorted. ‘Yes, just like that.’

‘Weird.’ He took a mouthful or cereal, then set his spoon down with a wrinkled nose. Reaching for the honey, he squeezed it all over the contents of the bowl. ‘Were your parents hippies?’

I shook my head. ‘Nah. It was the name of the street my dad grew up on.’ He looked at me quizzically, and I smiled. ‘You think you’re the first person to tell me it’s a weird name?’

He shook his head, then through a mouthful of food, he said, ‘I’m just glad you’re not a hippy, since we’re friends now.’

‘Are we?’ I said, chuckling at this approach. He was weird, and I appreciated that. ‘I’m not sure I agree. I need to know what you have against hippies first.’

‘They don’t shave their pits, of course.’ 

I hadn’t expected that answer, and I snorted.

‘What do you care about your friends’ armpits? Besides, do you shave your armpits?’

He twinkled at me – an expression that was at once mischievous and approving – of what, I wasn’t sure.

‘Maybe I do.’ He drank the last of the milk in his bowl then set it aside, before adding, ‘I do hang out at the gym. Gotta shave to really see that muscle definition.’

I looked him over pointedly. ‘What muscle?’

He looked at me as though I’d struck him a mortal blow – but the smile never left his eyes.

‘Really? Is this how you go about building friendships?’ He tutted, shaking his head, ‘Arity, Arity, Arity.’

Dryly, I said, ‘Observations of fact are worse that slandering an entire sub-culture’s grooming habits, now?’

He gave me a playfully dirty look, but didn’t answer as there was a beep from his pocket, and he took out his phone. He was quiet for a moment, tapping out a message.

I went back to staring at the french doors. I wondered suddenly why the textured glass had been put in. The room would’ve been nicer without it, looking out onto the garden.

He set the phone onto the table. ‘You know I don’t mean it, right?’

‘Don’t mean what?’

‘About the hippies.’

‘Oh,’ I said, taking another drink of my coffee before, looking at him from under my brows, I added, ‘I did, about the muscles.’

He was doing his best to suppress his laughter and said sternly, ‘You wait. That’ll change. I’ll be so built I’ll be able to pick you up and fling you across the room.’

I wide-eyed him, and said in a pitiful voice, ‘But why would you fling your brand-new friend around?’

He scoffed. ‘Why else does a man get strong?’

‘To fling his enemies?’

‘I have no enemies to fling.’

Dryly, I said, ‘You’ll have no friends, either, if you start treating them like that.’

The laughter at last bubbled up out of him, and he stood abruptly.

'Dammit, you’re too quick.’

I smiled. ‘Checkmate.’

He scowled at me without any seriousness at all; but there was the sound of voices from reception. One of them was Kristy’s.

Great.

‘That’s my cue to leave,’ he said, knocking the table twice with his knuckles. ‘Until tomorrow morning, Hilarity.’

~~~

So - that's an intro to Jimmy and Arity, I guess. Jimmy does have more depth than either of these descriptions really show. He's been through it, but he's one of those people who uses humour to deal with everything.

Hmm... Since it isn't published anymore, I can post the whole Freeway chapter about Gracie and Jimmy (which is functionally a short story, more or less) if anyone is interested in knowing more? It's the only part of the novella that I think is worth reading, to be honest, hence the unpublishing - even though it's far from perfect.

Anyway - I have no idea if this is insightful to anyone else, but it's super fun tracing this stuff from my end 😀 revisiting old work, dragging these fools from retirement to hang out here for all to see... Not that Jimmy minds - he's down for anything honestly 😂

[skylinesolutions12]

https://ivolvemarketing.com.au/flyer-distribution-melbourne-leaflet-drop-letterbox-distribution/

[theointernship]

3. Becoming an effective team member and contributor

SoccerScene internship was quite an autonomous experience with a deadline and KPI's to be met that you work on yourself. Asking for occasional help was always an option but not really utilised by many. Use of the WhatsApp editorial group that was created by Liam was a really important step in helping me improve throughout my time in SoccerScene. 

At the start, it was a very dry chat that would get maybe one or two messages in there a week, making it pretty obsolete. There was a push from Liam and Stace to make it active every day and so every article idea, angle for an article or interview possibilities were floated in the chat. There was when I got feedback from everyone involved on the website on how I should structure an article and helped with contacting clubs/media members.

For any opinion or feature pieces, it was a requirement to float your original idea and have others suggest ideas to make it the best possible piece to be released.

Box Hill United was a lot more team oriented than SoccerScene and so if anyone were unavailable or had too much on their hands, there would be tasks delegated to people willing to step up and help. Being transparent has been extremely important for both organisations.

Melbourne Aces there were many different tasks I had to do on any given day, and I was happy to help wherever possible. From gardening to cleaning, stacking the fridges in bars and hours doing letterbox drops, there was an extreme importance on working as a team to ensure the team was set up for the Canberra Cavalry home series.

[24hlocksmithmelbourne]

Hire Professional Commercial Locksmiths in Melbourne to Install Digital & Smart Locks

These days, companies want to simply hire qualified commercial locksmiths in Melbourne since they are versed with their job roles and capable enough to respond quickly in situations such as lockout or break-in emergencies. Reputable companies strongly advise installing cutting-edge digital locks that require a code or fingerprint to unlock, allowing only authorised personnel to enter. By doing this, the possibility of losing crucial papers, confidential information, or trade secrets will reduce. 

Reasons to Hire Skilled Locksmith for Home Security:

Seeking for a reliable residential locksmith in Melbourne who can fix or replace locks to maintain overall security and perform other necessary repair is a common search. They also assist with installing smart locks and provide guidance so individuals could use it effectively. Renowned companies highly suggest installing digital locks as it would connect with your smart phone and notify in case of suspicious activity. 

In general, expert locksmiths provide key duplication in case of misplacement or loss of key so one could at least enter their homes. Moreover, they assist with changing locks in case of break in attempt to improve overall security of the premises. Renowned companies provide keys for letterboxes as well within minimum downtime so one could have necessary access required. 

Basically, several companies supply and install deadlocks to maintain indoor safety of your loved ones. They provide services for both metal and wooden doors so customers could rest assured.

Advantages of Hiring Trusted Locksmith for Crucial Services:

Reputed companies have team of emergency locksmiths that will help with home, businesses and automobile lockout concerns within specific time period.

Further, they are capable of fixing locks for vans, trucks, motorcycles and forklifts so customers could simply rely on them.

The code of conduct provides lock repairs and replacement services for real estate as well as owner’s corporation organisations.

One should enquire with the best company, if they want to hire reliable locksmiths for services.

Source: https://24hourmobilelocksmith.blogspot.com/2023/11/hire-professional-commercial-locksmiths.html

[ant-mer-12]

Vintage Early 1990s Ladies Fashion Industry Catalogue ~ Ladies In Lingerie, Melbourne, VIC, Australia

Please note that as the Images here contain Ladies Fashion Industry Models in Satin, etc, Lingerie, this Post is for people aged 18+ (21+ in the USA) and older. Whilst there's NO explicit activities, we are talking about Fashion Models.

In the decades prior to Online Companies and Internet - based Shopping Catalogues, there were always those printed Ladies Fashion Industry Catalogues you'd receive either by Mail or via those Advertising Mail bundles dropped into Letterboxes. Here on this Post, we see a true "Blast From The Past" as we view Lady Models in Satin Lingerie, in Vintage Ladies Fashion Industry Lingerie Catalogues from the very late 1980s - more so the very early 1990s.

[skylinesolutions12]

Reliable flyer distribution service in Melbourne

/ Flyer Printing and Distribution Melbourne / By admin

Small business Can Generate leads from Flyer Distribution

[ant-mer-12]

"The Lighter Side" Items ~ Gags, Cartoons, etc,

#1:

A man goes into a pub, aka, bar for US residents, goes up to the bar and asks for a Vodka Martini. However, before he can drink this, a monkey runs along and dips its willy (male anatomy) in it. Annoyed with this he asked for and received another drink free of cost. Again, the same thing occurred. This occurred at least 6 more times. Eventually the man demanded to see the manager, who was playing the piano.

The customer walked over and said, "Do you know there's a monkey dipping its willy in my Martini?", to which the Manager who thought this was a new song to play on the piano replied, "No. But if you hum the first few bars, I might be able to pick it up!".

#2:

On a very busy morning one day at Melbourne Airport, the following conversation occurred (this is actually a joke):

Caller: "Can you tell me how long it takes to fly from Melbourne to New York, please?"

Phone Operator answering another call: "Just a minute please"

Caller: "Bloody hell (dang for US residents) that's fantastic", then ends the phone call

#3:

Two men were arguing the potency of Irish Whiskey versus Scotch Whiskey, please note that Atheists don't believe in religion

Scotsman: "Och, Scotch Whiskey is powerful. Last year I drank half a bottle, then traveled to Berlin and back in three days"

Irishman: "That's nothing, Irish Whiskey is dynamite. The wife and I drank a full bottle last Saturday night, then got up Sunday morning and went to Catholic Mass"

Scotsman: "But you Irish always go to Mass"

Irishman: "True, but, we're Atheists!"

#4:

Hoping to impress her new boyfriend, a young lady decided to treat him to her playing the piano one night. Unfortunately, as she was halfway through a section, she accidentally farted.

At the end of her performance, he asked, "What was that tune you played, please?". She replied, "The 1812 Overture". He said, "Very good performance, however, I didn't expect to have thunder striking the dunny (toilet) during the crescendo!"

#5:

Here is a letter written by a Biddleonian mother to her adult son in Melbourne, Australia. It's full of gags, and Biddleonia is a non - existent country made up during the 1970s by an Australian Variety show, to avoid running the risk of unfairly stereotyping people from other cultures with some types of Jokes

Dear Son,

The weather here is cold, wet and still, and I hope you are the same

Your older brother has 900 people working under him.......he mows the lawn in the cemetery

Your uncle fell into a vat of Whiskey. People tried rescuing him, but, he fought them and drowned. His Death Certificate showed Cause Of Death ~ Happiness (drunk in the Whiskey). He was later cremated and it took them three weeks to put the fire out

Please let us know when you're coming home to visit, so we can be at the old address, to let you know how to get to our new address

You won't know your younger brother......he's grown another foot (extra leg and foot)

Your twin sister in New York has a boyfriend who had trouble with his hearing. At her request he had his ears fixed. It was apparently a resounding success as he said he'd heard from his brother in London for the first time in 10 years afterwards

Well, I'd better go now, as your dad is having trouble cooking a chicken. Everytime he puts it in the oven (kitchen window open) it keeps flying away

Love, your mum

#6:

A young lady decided to swim across Bass Strait one day, from Portsea Back Beach, Victoria, to Devonport, Tasmania, and back again, 200 km (128 miles) each way. She took 18 hours to reach Tasmania, then returned to Victoria in 40 minutes.....the elastic waistband of her bikini bottom was caught on the pier

#7:

A Postal Delivery person reached a letterbox and asked the occupant who was in the front garden, "Can you tell me who this is, please? This name is obliterated (not readable)", to which the reply was, "No, we're Fitzgerald"

#8:

Two cows were in a paddock one day, when one said, "Moo!". The other cow said, "Damn, I was about to say that!"

#9:

Visual humour

[skylinesolutions12]

Reliable flyer distribution service in Melbourne

Small business Can Generate leads from Flyer Distribution

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We are working from last 8 years in industry

Reliable flyer distribution – Providing Top-Notch Services that operates independently from the largest network for letterbox drop services in Melbourne. We are dedicated to delivering flyer and brochure printing and distribution services that we can be truly proud of, which is why we pay close attention to detail to ensure a smooth leaflet distribution system that guarantees your message is delivered promptly.

Delivering Capacity up to one million leaflets weekly

With the ability to deliver up to one million leaflets and flyers weekly, our team of over 12,00 walkers and 110 supervisors work together tirelessly to organize flyer distributions across the country. In Melbourne, we conduct leaflet distributions weekly from Tuesday to Thursday in every neighborhood. Our work is carried out with the utmost attention to detail from the start.

GPS Tracking Report

We make sure that the flyers you send to our are delivered in the correct quantities and are bundled appropriately. Our walkers then distribute leaflets to an average of 423 homes per walker, which typically takes about 5-6  hours to complete. After our walkers have finished their rounds, our supervisors conduct spot checks to ensure everything is done to the highest standard. While we do perform spot checks on our letterbox distribution, our goal is always to achieve 100% coverage. Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Once we receive the complete address of your request, we can arrange a door knock in the area and provide you with a detailed report.

Melbourne most trusted firm from years- Ivolve Marketing

Reach Out to Letterbox Distributors for All Your Flyer and Leaflet Distribution Needs As a small business owner, you’re well aware of the importance of building a solid customer base that you can expand upon. This is where the letterbox distribution method shines, as it allows you to target properties and customers that are in close proximity to your business. Once these individuals become your customers, they are likely to become loyal and return to you repeatedly. Whether your goal is to target 10,000 or 20,000 homes in Melbourne, simply let us know. We will outline the proposed distribution area based on your address and send you a proposal at no additional cost. For reliable and efficient letterbox distribution in Melbourne, look no further than the team at Ivolve marketing. Flyer and Leaflet Distribution Across Melbourne At Ivolve marketing, we recognize the significance of brand recognition and the need for advertising exposure.