#liam payne falling on stage

[fandom]

No but seriously imagine it

The aftermath of discourse emanating from the Teraleak is keeping Pokémon fans very busy making memes and discussing lore. Everyone who enjoys first-person psychological horror adventure games is enjoying the first-person psychological horror adventure game that is Mouthwashing. And, in a huge moment for emos, the Phandom, and generally, people who were conscious in the 00s, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy played together for the first time in 17 years, and Dan and Phil re-enacted a Tumblr post from 2015 about them kissing on stage during an MCR x FOB performance. This is Tumblr's Week in Review.

Liam Payne

Artists on Tumblr

Mouthwashing

Gravity Falls

Agatha All Along

Halloween

Pokémon

Stanford Pines | Gravity Falls

Stanley Pines | Gravity Falls

Free Palestine

Cats of Tumblr

Batman

Bill Cipher | Gravity Falls

Dan and Phil

Jujutsu Kaisen

The Amazing Digital Circus

Agatha Harkness | the Marvel universe

US Politics

Critical Role

Formula 1

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

In my early days as a 1D fan, I was a Liam girl until one backstage pic of Louis fonding at Harry as they clutched hands for a meet and greet caused me to permanently imprint on them.

I came into the fandom as a 30-something fan who had been raised by Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, where my two faves were Kevin and J.C.. Naturally, I thought Liam “Daddy Direction” Payne was my guy because that just seemed like the natural progression of my taste. He may not have ultimately been my guy, but I still loved him all the same. I loved his warm brown eyes, his general puppy dog aura, his willingness to put on every single stupid costume that got thrown on stage, his twirly dancing, his obvious love for the other boys, and his beautiful voice.

I’ll always remember having a fucking blast when he played a random solo show at the Beacon in NYC, like three days before Harry played MSG for the first time. It seemed so clear to me that Liam was a bit of a pop star in the wrong time, that he would have thrived if he come up in the heyday of Justin Timberlake’s solo career, rather than 2017/18. I always wanted to like his solo music much more than I ultimately did, though he has some absolute BANGERS that get overshadowed by the success and clearly defined identities of his bandmates. I always WANTED Liam to find his way and hoped that he would because he had so much potential that seemed to be falling by the wayside.

Just last night I was talking about how distressing his situation had become, how alarming I found all the revelations from Maya to be, and how much I did hope that he would get back into treatment to work on himself. I felt empathy for him, as I grew up with an addict and know firsthand how challenging those demons can be and how they never really go away.

It feels incredibly surreal that he’s gone. I keep thinking this is all fake news, you know? Our boy banders aren’t supposed to fucking die. Especially not like this. I hope Liam is finally at peace after this world gave him none.

My heart hurts for his family, his friends, his colleagues, and his fans. It hurts for the boys, now men, who, no matter what the current state of their relationships may have been, lost a brother today.

And oh, how my heart hurts for this fandom, which has been such a place of joy and friendship and creative discovery for me. I truly hope we can all take care of each other for a good while as we process this incredible loss. I’m holding all of you in my heart right now. One Band, One Dream, One Direction ❤️

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson Attended Zayn Malik’s L.A. Show in First Public Reunion Since Liam Payne Funeral

Zayn acknowledged his former bandmate from the stage during his show at the Shrine Expo Hall on Wednesday (Jan. 29).

By Gil Kaufman

Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik at Rose Bowl on Sept. 11, 2014 in Pasadena, Calif. || Jeff Kravitz/OneD/Getty Images

Former One Direction band mates Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik had an unexpected reunion, sort of, during Zayn’s Stairway to the Sky show at Los Angeles’ Shrine Expo Hall on Wednesday night (Jan. 29). In video of the sweet moment caught posted by Pop Crave, Malik told the crowd, “tonight is kind of special. An old friend of mine is here supporting me tonight.”

As the screams reached a roar, Malik looked up to the balcony and said, “He’s sitting somewhere here. I don’t want to give his location away, but Louis is here tonight.” In a second video, the camera swings up to Tomlinson in his box seat, catching the “Bigger Than Me” singer tapping his heart after the shout-out. According to fans, Malik later dedicated the songs “What I Am” and “Alienated” to Tomlinson.

As far as fans were aware, it was the first (kind of) joint public appearance by the two since they both attended the funeral of their late 1D mate Liam Payne in November; Payne died on Oct. 16 after falling from the third-floor balcony of the CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In a touching tribute to their bond, all of the permanently on-hiatus boy band’s members attended the funeral in Buckinghamshire, England in November, including Niall Horan and Harry Styles.

Malik rescheduled the tour — his first solo outing to date — after postponing the U.S. portion of the outing following Payne’s death. He launched the tour on Jan. 21 with a show at the Anthem in Washington, D.C. His next scheduled gig is on Friday night (Jan. 31) is a third and final show at the Shrine in L.A.

[cliperry]

Cover Stars: Exclusive by Louise Gannon Fabulous Magazine November 2015

Normal rules don’t apply in the crazy world of One Direction. Breakfast is at noon, lunch is at 6pm and cars are despatched to Greggs to buy up stacks of steak bakes and sausage rolls as the hunger bites. Heads won’t hit pillows for another 10 hours.

There are crowds of fans outside the north London studio where we meet, scores of security, and journalists from as far as New Zealand and Asia who have come to listen to the unveiling of the band’s new album Made In The A.M.

And right in the heart of the craziness are the boys themselves - reassuringly, despite the emotional twists and turns of recent months, the same as they ever were Harry, Louis, Niall and Liam might look more jaded thanks to the punishing touring and recording schedule, but all of them remain good-natured, down to earth and hugely likable.

Niall Horan, 22, is talking about Game of Thrones and checking on the sports scores. Harry Styles, 21, with his long hair and charming, laid-back manner, chats about trying to stay healthy, as he can’t box or run with his foot in a cast after snapping a bone on stage last month during an over-exuberant dance move. He is the only one not partaking in the Greggs feast.

Louis Tomlinson, 23, laughs about his personal passing for Greggs. “We’re quite disappointing, really,�� he says. “None of us are very high maintenance - we’re not into flash care and expensive jewelry. We’re still these boys who can’t believe this happened.”

But in the past 10 months, life at the top has got a whole lot tougher for the band, who were first put together on The X Factor in 2010 by then-guest-judge Nicole Scherzinger.

Not even their boss Simon Cowell could have predicted their success. They went from third place on the show to becoming the biggest boy band in the world, with four world tours, five albums, the fourth-most-succesful concert movie ever made with This Is Us, a collective Twitter following of over 90 million and around £30million each in the bank.

Then, after five frenzied years of non-stop good times, the brakes slammed on the 1D juggernaut when there things happened in quick succession. In March, Zayn Malik, now 22 quit the band, saying he wanted a “normal life”. Four months later, it was revealed the Louis was going to be a dad with American stylist and former fling Briana Jungwirth, 23. Then in August, the band announced they would be “taking a break” next year. Cue a gazillion teenage hearts breaking around the world.

With speculation swirling in the press that it was finally all over and a recent date in Belfast cancelled at the last minute because Liam Payne, 22, was ill (the announcement was met by booing fans and a furious reaction on Twitter from the like of Eamonn Holmes who berated them for not going out to apologise in person), it’s been a fairly rocky ride of late.

But falling apart? Liam is absolutely not having it.

“I like that quote about teabags and hot water,” he says. “You can only test how strong you are when you get put in hot water. We’ve been tested, but it’s actually made us stronger. We’ve actually taken a lot of strength from our fans who have never given up on us, never believe it was over.”

“It’s not over. And yes, we’re taking a break, but we need one. We have done four tours, five albums, but we will be coming back. We don’t want this to end.”

Sitting all bunched up together on a leather settee as they talk, they look extremely tired. In all honesty, they look like they need a break.

Sitting here today, you almost forget there was ever any room for Zayn. They talk over each other constantly, the Zen-like Harry and Niall bookending the more talkative Liam and Louis. There is a sense of a new bond caused by the battle scars of negative publicity. If there are any rifts or tensions, then we see no sign of them.

Having said that, they are a little more serious than in previous years - there is less fooling around and they are ultra-professional and on-message when it comes to discussing both the new album and sticking together.

Frustratingly, various questions are off-limits - Louis’ baby and the details behind their decision to pull out of the Belfast gig are big no-nos, and we are warned that our time with the foursome will be cut short if we dare to go there.

It’s a clear sign that these are very different, bruising times in which the boys need handling with care.

And our chat takes place before news emerges of Liam’s split with girlfriend Sophia Smith, 21, which means we’re unable to ask him about it - although it’s likely that line of questioning would have been banned as well. According to reports, Liam’s heartbreak was the real reason behind the Belfast debacle.

But they do talk freely about how they’ve coped with the pressure when things started to implode.

“The really tough moment for me was when Zayn left,” says Doncaster-born Louis. “That was really, really hard. We knew it was coming, we saw a lot of signs in a lot of the gigs abroad. It was sad.”

“One thing that was good is that it made us really bond,” says Harry. “It made us look at what we had and really know we wanted to keep it. It also made us really focus on making the best album we could. You go through so much together as a band that no one really understands, but ultimately it just makes you closer.”

Liam adds, “We can’t ever really sit here and moan, can we? I mean look at our lives. What we’ve done in the past five years is amazing.”

That is very true. Whatever happens in the future, whether or not the indefinite break turns out to be a permanent one (and, despite their insistence that this isn’t The End, it certainly feels like each of them knows that the crazy of of 1D mania are over), all of them will take away the extraordinary memories.

“I got to play on stage with Ronnie Wood,” says Niall, shaking his head in disbelief.

“And we got to play Wembley and Madison Square Garden,” chips in Louis. “We also got to meet Pele, which is incredible, as we’re all massive sports fans. Even better, he actually knew who we were.”

Their schedule may be grueling, but each band member has worked out various coping strategies.

Harry stays fits and meditates, and Liam has chosen to live in the Surrey countryside outside the noise and chaos of London. Niall has been befriended by Jose Mourinho and several key Chelsea players, and enjoyed training alongside them while recovering from a knee injury.

“It’s been a big deal for me getting to know Jose because he’s got so much wisdom,” he says. “I never thought he’d take much interest in an Irish lad in a band, but he’s been a good friend to me.

“Him and Simon Cowell have been great mentors. I’ve got to them as real people beyond this image they put across to the world, and that’s really been a privilege. I spent a good four months down at Chelsea training, and made a lot of goof friends. People I never thought I would actually meet have been there for me and looked after me.”

Louis worries what he’s going to do without every second of his day being accounted for.

“I’m actually naturally very lazy,” he says. “So I’m going to get a big fat belly. I’m going to be 24 soon and all these pies are going to catch up on me. You’re going to see photos of me with a big belly.”

The boys are, however, all desperate to take time out of the spotlight at some point early in 2016 - the exact date has yet to be fixed.

Wolverhampton-born Liam says, “For me, I just want to have a space where I can let everything sink in. I haven’t even see all the films we made (This Is Us and Where We Are). I’m literally going to be sitting down watching the moves, watching the concerts, saying ‘Hey, we did that.’ I know I also need to make up a lot of time with my mum. I’m not the best communicator, so I need to sort it out.”

Harry, who takes everything in his stride and wears his natural-born charisma lightly, shrugs off rumours that he is going to run off to Hollywood to make movies.

“I’m not sure about that,” he laughs. “I like to keep busy and I like to see my mates. I’m really happy. I’ve always had great people around me. I keep wondering whether I should actually watch those great shows that everyone else talks about and I’ve missed, like Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Or should I just move on?”

Harry has become a regular fixture on the celebrity scenes in both London and Los Angeles, thanks to easy social skills, and friendships with the key movers and shakers from Nick Grimshaw and Kate Moss to the Kardashians - he briefly dated Kendall Jenner and Taylor Swift.

He will continue to split his time between the UK and States once the band bow out next year. “I enjoy traveling,” he says. “I love doing stuff. I don’t get easily bored.”

Niall from County Westmeath, already has plans to go backpacking with his friends. He might even dye his hair in the vague hope of going incognito. “I’ve spent the past few years of my life in planes and on tour buses, and I’ve been through countries I’ve really loved but haven’t had a chance to really see,” he says.“I want to go back to Australia and definitely Thailand. With the band we stayed at luxury hotels, but I want to see these countries like any lad my age just staying in hostels and that sort of thing. I don’t want to stay at a Four Seasons. I’ve done that, I want something else.“I did think about dying my hair brown so I won’t get recognised, but I genuinely believe that if I’m on my own with my mates from home, no one will give me a second look.”

Niall is the only member of 1D to get through five years without succumbing to the band’s tattoo obsession. As things stand, he is ink-free, but this is something he also plans to changes.“I’m definitely doing something about that because when we’re apart I know I’m going to miss them. All of the lads have got this weird tattoo of a Phillips screwdriver on their ankles. I’d like to say it means something deep, but it’s just a tattoo everyone likes. I’m going to brand myself with that one, and it will remind me of the lads, so they’ll be with me where I go.”

But of course, it is Louis whose life will change the most in the future, as he’ll become a father in a few months’ time. he is apparently planning on basing himself in both the States, where Briana lives, and the UK after the baby is born- although, if reports are accurate, he’ll have to be rooted in London for the latter half of next year as one of The X Factor judges.“I’ve got no plans to do any other telly than X Factor,” he says. “I love Simon and I love being part of [the show]. It’s quite emotional for me. I sit there thinking ‘This show gave this boy from Donny a chance to have the most incredible life.’ No other show in the would would have done that.”

So could it be Louis who find the next band to replace 1D? He laughs, “I’m not going to be looking for any competition. We’re coming back. No one is going to get in the way of 1D.”

[zot3-flopped]

Usually Reader View in Firefox helps me getting beyond many paywalls :-)

Why One Direction will NEVER reunite: Friends tell KATIE HIND the desperately sad reason and truth...

Katie Hind

7–9 minuti

It was during the Australian leg of One Direction's mammoth global tour that Zayn Malik resolved to turn his back on fame.

Back then, in 2013, he was dating fellow popstar Perrie Edwards, whose band Little Mix were also on the road, and the young lovers both found themselves in Sydney.

Having been apart for weeks, they wanted to have a 'date night', only such was Zayn's popularity that 1D fans – Directioners as they called themselves – followed him and the rest of the band everywhere they went. The only way for Zayn to see Perrie was to sneak in through her hotel's laundry room.

For the singer, who like his fellow bandmates struggled with being in the limelight, the experience contributed to his decision to quit 18 months later in March 2015 – right in the middle of another world tour. He later cited 'stress' and the desire to be a 'normal 22-year-old'.

This was not an isolated incident: Zayn, now 32, and his bandmates Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and the late Liam Payne, lived their late teens and early 20s as caged animals, unable to leave their hotel rooms to avoid a stampede of hysterical fans.

'This made them hate being in the band,' said one source who worked with them in their heyday. 'It was actually traumatic at times.'

And I'm told that it is this trauma that's behind One Direction's decision not to reunite, under any circumstances.

Not even when they were asked by the BRITs committee to come together for tonight's event at London's O2 Arena, to pay tribute to Liam, 31, who died in October after falling from a balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

The answer was still a firm 'no'. It wasn't for the lack of trying, say BRITs insiders: 'Those in charge thought it would be a great moment, if ever there was a chance of getting the band to reform, it was this year.'

Instead, I'm told, there will be a 'special moment' in the show dedicated to the troubled singer who had watched Niall perform on his solo world tour just a few days before his death.

'There is no doubt that Harry, Zayn, Louis and Niall think about Liam all the time but there was no way they were going to do it,' said the source. They'd showed 'absolutely no interest' in performing in tribute to their former bandmate, the source added.

'They have happy memories, particularly of the early days, but towards the end things got pretty dreadful and they began to despise One Direction. There's no way they would get back on that stage, even Liam's death wasn't enough.

'You've got to remember that they were doing more than 120 gigs in a year at one point, flying around the world from hotel to hotel which they couldn't leave. They went on the X Factor as young solo singers not thinking in a million years that they would be as big as the Beatles.

'The attitude from Simon Cowell and the record label was that if they put the work in then they would never have to work again. The feeling among the group was that it was easy for their bosses to say.'

Since their split in January 2016, ten months after Zayn quit, the group have only been in the same room twice. 

Once was at Liam's funeral, at St Mary's church in Amersham last November; the previous time was back in November 2016 when Simon Cowell issued a three line whip for them to get to the X Factor studios to support Louis, who was performing a solo set on the show following his mother's death. Harry and Liam were 'fuming', but nevertheless, they travelled from the US to the London studio.

They refused to go on stage, however. Instead it was a private meeting in Louis's dressing room.

It would, of course, have been so poignant for One Direction to come together for this year's BRITs, an event at which they were not only recipients of seven awards. It would also be a night, I think, they'd actually enjoy.

For several years I'd watched them, knocking back wine and enjoying every minute of being stars of the show. For two years in a row, I also saw them at the show's after party at Mayfair's Arts Club, working the room like children in a sweet shop with Cowell watching on like a proud dad.

After a while, however, the mogul's enthusiasm for their hard work wore thin among the band members. Moreover, there was a feeling that despite making £30 million each from their five years as the world's biggest boyband, it was damaging their lives beyond repair.

'Harry and Liam would actually comment sometimes that they would rather have been at university,' said a friend of the band. 'Instead they basically became really f***** up. Some turned to drugs. It was pretty awful at times.'

It is not just their bad memories that have prevented the band from coming together, it would also be fair to say that relations between them are still strained. Towards the end of their time together, there were rumours that such were the levels of animosity within the group, that they would fly on two separate private jets.

Today, while Louis and Zayn remain close, having been a 'bit of a trio' with Liam, there is little love lost between them and Harry.

Even at Liam's funeral last November, Harry wasn't seen with any of his former bandmates, instead choosing to arrive with his friends James Corden and television producer Ben Winston. Meanwhile Zayn and Louis were seen deep in conversation outside the church.

And as for Niall, 31, sources say that he too has 'moved on' – arguably to bigger and better things as he now runs a talent agency for golfers, particularly bringing on women into the sport, as well as performing as a solo artist.

'He saw the band for what it was and took what he could from that time and built the rest of his life,' the source told me. 'Niall has just got on with it,' I'm told, and generally 'leads a very under-the-radar, quiet life.'

Then there is Harry, the 31-year-old heart-throb who signed a huge record deal which dwarfed the others back in 2016.

After much negotiation he went with Sony label Colombia, reportedly worth an eye-watering $80 million. As well as having number one hits, such as As It Was and Watermelon Sugar, he has also tried his hand at acting, winning roles in war movie Dunkirk and psychological thriller Don't Worry Darling. At the last count, he was said to be sitting on a personal fortune of £175 million.

'He is head and shoulders above the others in terms of his success,' says a band insider.

'His life is just so different, almost unrelatable to the others these days.'

While Harry remains one of the world's most popular and lucrative popstars, today Zayn – who has a four-year-old daughter Khai from his relationship with American model Gigi Hadid – lives an almost reclusive life on a farm in Pennsylvania.

Louis, 33, meanwhile, who has also had some success as a solo artist, exists very much under the radar in London.

'Getting back together would drag up the hurt,' says one source. 'They don't see the point in doing that, certainly not at the moment and probably never.'

Thank you for this!

[fratboyzayn]

Master list!

(Will update as I go)

(And pls lmk if these don’t work!)

Harry Styles

2010

Meeting at his job

2012

“In a world of boys he’s a gentleman”

2013

Messes up his second chance

You’re in Little Mix

Going for a walk in autumn

2014

Clingy drunk

You see his tiger tat

2015

You spoil him for his bday

First time parents

You’re a clingy drunk

Cancelled show + meet and greet

Biting is your love language

Grumpy x sunshine

“Temporary fix”

“What a feeling”

2016

You’re a beauty influencer and he asks you out

2017

First date while pregnant

Showing up to his house in the rain

Baby’s first steps

“We’re not who we used to be”

2018

Press finds out about your son

Trying British food

2019

‘Falling’

2021

Your wedding

Grammys performance

Single dad x kindergarten teacher

You’re in the LOT band

2022

Age gap proposal

Layover in Italy

On stage proposal

Hinting your pregnancy on stage

Backstage at Coachella w/ your daughter

“Satellite”

Howard stern podcast + old pr relationship

Teaching your daughter to swim

Coparenting

2024

Married with twin boys

Family vacation in Jamaica

Run in with your ex

2025

He needs a ride

Shopping + age gap

Au’s

Football captain x quiet girl

Tutoring the jock- uni

Planning spring break together- uni

Dating an NBA player

He’s a police officer, you’re an inmate

He’s a lifeguard and saves your kid

You’re on the titanic

Med students

You meet your bfs baby- uni

Icebreaker

He’s a military sergeant

Movie characters

Dwd- living in a simulation(but you find out)

Dunkirk- back from Dunkirk

Dunkirk- Valentine’s Day after the war

Dunkirk- back from Dunkirk

Louis Tomlinson

2013

‘She’s not afraid’

2014

In the band together +hooking up

2017

You meet him after his soccer game

2018

Meeting his family

‘Polaroid’ by Liam Payne

2020

Villa vacation

2022

He throws a chicken nugget at you at a show

He has a broken arm

2025

You meet him at Coachella

He takes you to Paris for your birthday

Uni

You ask for a cig at his frat party

Zayn Malik

2012

He asks you to prom

Dinner date

2013

Frat party

He cheats on you while drunk

2014

Secret relationship

You break up with him

You’re nervous to try weed

You have endometriosis

2015

Worried for him

He tells you he’s leaving

Telling the band he’s leaving + confessing to you

He teases you onstage

Harry’s little sister

2016

Moving in together

You’re the inspiration for ‘Pillowtalk’

Lazy morning

2018

4/20 together

He sees another man flirting with you

2024

‘What I am’ (past toxic relationship)

Uni

You tell him you’re pregnant

Frat party

He comes to your soccer game

Asking out the cheerleader

He needs study help

Niall Horan

2013

Irish traditions

He’s your best friend

2014

You’re Harry’s younger sister

2017

Blind date

2020

Your relationship gets exposed

He’s becoming distant with you

2023

He defends you in an interview

You’re sick

2025

You decorate his golf balls

[jerrylewis-thekid]

On Youtube I saw a video dedicated to the dark aspects of One Direction's career, unfortunately the video is in Italian but hearing their story I often thought that they were talking about Dean and Jerry and how success, immediate success, is deleterious (but not only that). I will try to summarize, piece by piece, the most important parts told, for now I will copy this. It concerns the death of one of them, Liam Payne, also killed (like many others) by excessive fame. And I can't help but think of Dean (and so many others).

"The latest tragedy, which occurred on October 16, concerns Liam Payne, known for his past in the boyband One Direction, who was found lifeless following a fall from the balcony of his hotel room. Fall probably due to illness caused by excessive use of narcotics. His torment and discomfort are perfectly encapsulated in one of the last sentences uttered by the singer as witnesses report: "I was in a boyband…that's why I'm so messed up". Phrase that reveals the darkness of an industry that exploits and abandons, leaving artists at the mercy of their own inner demons. Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Prince, Mac Miller are just some of the artists whose death can be associated with drug or alcohol abuse. What really lies behind stage performances? What do artists have to deal with?

Life in the spotlight is an illusion. We are led to believe that success, fame and money are synonymous with happiness, but what we see is only a facade, it is only appearance. Behind the smile there is often a sad truth: many artists, although surrounded by the affection of their fans and their team, feel isolated and subjected to constant anxieties, pressures and unattainable expectations. It is now known that what matters in this sector are only the numbers. Artists have no say in the matter (especially if they are beginners): who cares if they feel bad or if they want to express themselves as they prefer. Their personality is stifled in the name of profit. Artists find themselves having to deal with the demands of an increasingly oppressive industry. But when this hype ends, what's left? Often just a spiral of addictions that makes them fall into a vortex with no way out. Or rather, it leaves them with such a small way out that only very few people know how to take.

Furthermore, the lifestyle they lead and the rhythms to which they are subjected, when they are at the peak of their career, are exhausting, especially if they want to stand out among the thousands of people who populate this environment. The use of drugs appears to them as the only solution to avoid being crushed and sinking. Reality, as we know, is merciless: fame brings with it a lot of pain. And when the stage lights go out, the illusion of the perfect life shatters, leaving a void that many, perhaps too many, try to fill with alcohol and drugs. From here (italian language)

[legendrarry-main]

An Eulogy for someone once cherished.

On the door of my bathroom wall in my old house, I drew and stuck five figures of all of the boys. I remember when moving, I tried to peel them off to take them with me to my new place. Why this memory is so vivid in my mind right now is that when I tried to peel each of them out, Liams Head got stuck on the wall, and the paper ripped like dried leaf in my hand, leaving a headless body of the young man I adored. I remember cracking jokes with my friends at that time, saying "I killed Liam Payne" in mock sadness.

It's a memory from five to six years ago, and now, as I sit on my balcony, trying to comprehend what has happened, I feel the resedue of that paper like blood on my hands.

What is surprising to me how utterly calm yet defeated i feel right now. I'm mourning. I know that I am. But more than mourning the loss of the boy that was once a part of my whole world, I'm mourning the loss of my younger self. That fifteen year old Sam would lose her shit right now if she was here. And it took me this long to finally realise that she is dead. She has been dead for a while now it seems. I can't think of any other reasons I feel so void of it all.

Underneath this layer of numbness, all I can feel is red hot anger. At the world, at the people that boy choose to surround himself with and at the boy himself for making mistakes over and over again. But that's what he was in the end wasn’t he? Just a boy. Just a little boy who didn’t get the chance to grow out of being seventeen, didn’t get the chance to have a childhood, didn’t get the chance to breathe or learn from everything.

The world had done him dirty by giving him everything he could ever ask for and taking away what he needed. And I was right there, watching, cheering him on without realizing what he was losing. Some miseries can only be repaid with death, and he repaid his just last night, around the same time I was wide awake listening to songs that weren’t his, he was out there taking his last breath and falling over the railing. The parallels are astonishing. I was sitting on my balcony too, while he was falling off of his. And maybe it happened at the same time I lit a fire to light up a cigarette when he extinguish his own.

My darling baby. My sweet little angel with eyes that reminds me of autumn leaves. You were fucked up. Broken and battered. Flawed to the nines and destructive and devious. But you were never beyond redemption. Never beyond remedy and never beyond saving. Yet, we failed to save you all the same. I wonder how you felt when you laid on that cold concrete as the blood rushed to your head. The thoughts that rippled through your mind like water, I wonder what you saw in those very last moments. I can't imagine how lonely you must have felt, how utterly defeated and devastated. Maybe you gasped for one last breath, realizing how big of a mistake it was like we all do when the first slash of a knife that hits too deep on our wrists. I wish I was there to hold your hand when you let go. I wish that I could save you.

I never got to own a band merch you know? Never could afford a cd, or a poster with all of your faces on it. Never could attend a concert of buy a song from itunes. And with this, the chance of me ever getting to see you shining bright on stages also shattered to pieces. I cannot attend a concert where you will not be there with the boys, Liam. It will never be the same.

If only this world weren’t this brutal and ugly with you. If only you’d have gotten more time and better people around you, if only you’d have had someone near you that cursed night....so many if onlys.

Did you know, you’ve not aged a single day beyond seventeen in my head?

Rest in peace, my sunshine.

You'll always be forever young. Now and forever. I will never forget you.

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

-

Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[dreamings-free]

Zayn acknowledged his former bandmate from the stage during his show at the Shrine Expo Hall on Wednesday (Jan. 29)

By Gil Kaufman 30/1/25

Former One Direction band mates Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik had an unexpected reunion, sort of, during Zayn’s Stairway to the Sky show at Los Angeles’ Shrine Expo Hall on Wednesday night (Jan. 29). In video of the sweet moment caught posted by Pop Crave, Malik told the crowd, “tonight is kind of special. An old friend of mine is here supporting me tonight.”

As the screams reached a roar, Malik looked up to the balcony and said, “He’s sitting somewhere here. I don’t want to give his location away, but Louis is here tonight.” In a second video, the camera swings up to Tomlinson in his box seat, catching the “Bigger Than Me” singer tapping his heart after the shout-out. According to fans, Malik later dedicated the songs “What I Am” and “Alienated” to Tomlinson.

As far as fans were aware, it was the first (kind of) joint public appearance by the two since they both attended the funeral of their late 1D mate Liam Payne in November; Payne died on Oct. 16 after falling from the third-floor balcony of the CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina. In a touching tribute to their bond, all of the permanently on-hiatus boy band’s members attended the funeral in Buckinghamshire, England in November, including Niall Horan and Harry Styles.

Malik rescheduled the tour — his first solo outing to date — after postponing the U.S. portion of the outing following Payne’s death. He launched the tour on Jan. 21 with a show at the Anthem in Washington, D.C. His next scheduled gig is on Friday night (Jan. 31) is a third and final show at the Shrine in L.A.

[youcanchangemyticket]

I’m just in shock. I’m speechless. My first real concert was 1D and I was so excited I cried and practically had a panic attack. I idolized them. And Liam. God. He was always so sweet and lovely and I know that there was more going on behind the scenes but they were kids.. we were kids. As someone who’s struggled with mental health since I was eleven, finding one direction gave me a life line. It brought me into fandoms and revived my love for writing. I used to stay up late watching videos of lyric changes, falling down on stage, funny videos in interviews. I can still quote most of them. I’m grieving in a way I’ve never had to do. The people around me don’t really get it, my kids for sure don’t but I just keep thinking, what the fuck. He had so much ahead of him. So much more to do. This wasn’t supposed to end like this. My heart goes out to his mom, his sisters, his dad, friends who really knew him. And my heart goes out to Harry, Zayn, Niall and Louis. I’ve had friendships that were complicated and filled with strife and conflict but I love them just the same. And I know that those four boys loved him in ways we may never understand. Death is hard when it’s someone old but it’s even harder when it takes someone so young.

To any fans if you see this know that your grief is valid. Feel how you need to. Blast your favorite albums, sing your heart out. Cherish the love and music he left us. Sit with it. Hold it. Because all the pain just means it was real. He was real.

Rest in peace Liam James Payne. You will be missed.

[newspagesonline]

Liam Payne to be honoured with special tribute at Brit Awards - and star's former 1D bandmates could reunite on stage (The Sun)

The Sun:Liam Payne to be honoured with special tribute at Brit Awards – and star’s former 1D bandmates could reunite on stage  —  Liam died aged 31 in October after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina’s capital Buenos Aires  — Hannah Hope- Emily Webber  — Hannah Hope- Emily Webber  Read More

[sammyunhinged]

Yesterday I opened my 1D twt stan account for the first time in 18 months. That’s generally about how long I go between bouts of obsession, at least for the last 4 years that’s been the case. Last year it was Louis’ doc. I hate what it is this year.

I found 1D kind of late. It was 2014. The Steal my Girl mv had just been released. I was 13 years old and up to that moment I’d rejected 1D because they were “too popular”. I don’t remember the exact order of events but it took mere hours to fall in love with every single one of them.

I’ve been a Louis girl from the start but back in 2015 Liam was my close second. I’ve seen people say recent that Liam was no one’s favorite but that’s not true. Gods, I loved him so much. If my twt stan account was anything it was dedicated to Lilo. I waited up every night to see if they had a water fight during their concert that night. I screamed over any small interaction on stage between them since the band went on hiatus. They were my everything. My love for Liam didn’t diminish through everything. I went to his pandemic concerts. I still to this day have his insta and twt notifs on. His TikToks continued to bring me joy.

I’m not big on cancel culture. Anyone who knows me knows that I am too empathetic and have too positive a view on people’s ability to grow and change to participate. But I’m also a victim of abuse. When the news about Liam’s behavior came out I was quick to criticize, rescind my support, and raly behind Maya. Everything she’s said lately has and her book have touched me. I know what it is like to want to help someone and love them, and for them to hurt you in return. His actions are inexcusable. Addiction and mental health do not excuse how you hurt the people around you. That will always remain true and fuck you to anyone blaming Maya or the other women speaking out.

When I learned Liam died yesterday, my immediate reaction was sobs and tears and devastation. The teenager in me is still heartbroken. Yet, the adult in me immediately tried to put up walls. I texted my family calling him a bad person and used recent events to try and protect myself.

Thirty hours later I think I have clearer eyes, though they are red and still wet with tears.

Liam was complicated. He was a father who loved his son. A man who manipulated and used women. An artist and a singer and an addict. He was extraordinarily generous to his fans when they met him on the street, no matter how tired or broken he looked he was always kind. He was an abuser and he was abused. He never failed to give to charity and to support those in need. He had an ego and struggled not being in the limelight. He made people laugh and brought them so much comfort. He said things about 1D that made a lot of people very angry. He unconditionally supported every member of the band. These are all truths about Liam Payne. One part doesn’t negate the existence of another. He was complicated.

I will miss him for all the joy he brought me. I’ll miss his silly TikToks and his music and the fact that Louis would have to yell as him on twt and in comments to get him to answer the phone. I’m grieving the person I loved so dearly though he never knew me. I’m grieving for the father and the artist and the brother and son that he was. I am mourning that we never got his second album, which he was so proud of. I am mourning the fact he never got healing here on earth and wasn’t ever able to make amends and apologize for his wrongs as I so hoped would happen.

Liam, I love you. I miss you. I hope that you have found peace. I hope your family and friends will be able to think of you and be happy again one day. I hope Maya and every single person you ever hurt can find healing even without closure.

[cliperry]

Daily Mail: (x)

One more disaster

Daily Star Sunday 30 Oct 2010

X FACTOR heart-throbs One Direction suffered another disaster yesterday when a young fan was run over by their taxi.

The teenager was taken to hospital with her foot in a brace after being hurt as a horde of screaming girls wrestled to get a glimpse of the teen boy band. The accident comes days after band member Liam Payne, 17, hurt his ankle after falling on stage at a gig with Tinie Tempah at trendy Koko in Camden, north London.

Kids in barrier horror Daily Star Sunday 30 Oct 2010

X FACTOR bosses have beefed up security at the show studio after safety barriers collapsed when teens climbed over them.

A spokesman said: “As it’s half-term there are more people outside the studio than usual.

“The incident was dealt with swiftly by paramedics.

“Security and welfare of the contestants and the public’s safety are of paramount importance.”

ONE DIRECT CRUSH

Daily Mirror 30 Oct 2010

War has broken out between Matt Cardle and Katie Waissel – he yesterday dubbed her a “ fame hungry t***”. Matt allegedly also wants to punch Wagner Carrilho.

Mary Byrne has threatened to quit and yelled at the One Direction boys for parading round half-naked.

Meanwhile neighbours – including Spurs striker Robbie Keane – are up in arms because their quiet road in North London has been invaded by fans and the peace has been broken by late night parties.

An X Factor source said: “ The house is like a war zone. There is in-fighting among the contestants and they are making enemies of the neighbours, too. ”

Matt, 27, said he hasn’t spoken to Katie, 24, for weeks. Asked about their rumoured romance, he blasted: “ It was absolute bulls***. Katie’s a fame hungry t***... nothing happened. I would never go near her again.

“ I’m not speaking to her, I don’t have anything to do with her. She’s been a d***. I’ve made my feelings absolutely clear and if she doesn’t get it by now then she’s more stupid than I thought.” Asked what she could do to make amends, he said: “ Leave the competition.”

Another source on the show claimed Matt threatened to hit Wagner, 54, last week.

Apparently some of the men in the house got fed up with the Brazilian’s touchy-feely behaviour. And the girls in Belle Amie are said to be actively avoiding the oddball for fear he will try to chat them up.

Wagner, who is due to perform Meat Loaf’s

Direction were left in shock yesterday after the car they were travelling in ran over a teenage fan.

The boys were going to the Wembley studios to rehearse for tonight’s show when girls mobbed them.

But excitement turned to horror as 15-year-old Leah Robinson’s foot ended up under the taxi’s tyre in the chaos. Her friend tweeted: “ The car One Direction were in ran over her foot and she’s in hospital.”

Leah was discharged with a minor injury, and the band checked on her welfare after rehearsals.

[middleageamerican]

1D

tho no body legit is saying it . . seems Liam Payne’s drunken drug-influenced ¿Fall? fr the hotel balcony in Buenos Aires Argentina was a suicide . . young ppl who rocket 2 fame and fortune is a formula 4 disaster . .  1D was a special case . . . those 5 boys wr competitors 1st then stage friends . . may b friends-off stage . . . in recent yrs eye had a bitter sad breakup w my childhood friend fr…

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics with a diva Harry character as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Harry/Louis—

🩷 Walk That Mile by purpledaisy/@daisyharry*

(E, 149k, road trip au) A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

🩷 Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense *

(E, 83k, royal au) Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles.

🩷 And I'll judge the cover by the book by harrystylesandstuff

(E, 73k, uni au) a Private University AU where Harry is a queer posh prince, Louis is a closeted troublemaker, and neither expect to understand each other the way they will.

🩷 These High Walls by LarryAlways28 / @larryaboworld

(E, 68k, a/b/o) Harry Styles should have the world at his feet. Born to one of Seattle's wealthiest families,  Harry was raised exactly as a Styles heir should be: sharp as a tack, witty, charming, and powerful.

🩷 home is where the heart is (but god, i love the english) by maroonmoonlouis

(E, 47k, a/b/o) the enemies-to-lovers football au where Harry is the star footie player used to getting his way and Louis is his new manager determined to whip him into shape.

🩷 Just Hear This and Then I'll Go by @allwaswell16 *

(E, 44k, Pride and Prejudice au) Former boy band member Louis Tomlinson can’t stand pompous indie artist Harry Styles, but with a new record label to launch he is going to have to endure his pretensions to snag up and coming new artist Liam Payne, who happens to be Harry’s oldest friend. 

🩷 Full Moon Dreaming by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 43k, soulmates) Every month, Full Moon Dreaming reveals a person’s soulmate. Sometimes it’s an object or a place, or for the lucky ones, the love of their life.

🩷 tempests of dust by @scrunchyharry

(E, 30k, royal au) That was until the Dauphin, Prince Harry, came to stay for a summer and decided that he would experience the life of a peasant, for his own personal growth, without any regards to how it would affect others.

🩷 Love Me Please by @angelichl *

(E, 23k, soulmates) Louis hates Harry, which is fine because he would really rather prefer to avoid him at all costs. The only problem? They're soulmates.

🩷 Wine Not? by abrighteryellow / @a-brighter-yellow,  @allwaswell16,  @dinosaursmate, @crinkle-eyed-boo, @disgruntledkittenface, @fallinglikethis, @jaerie, @justalittlelouislove, @kingsofeverything, kiwikero / @icanhazzalou, LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup, @laynefaire, @lululawrence,  momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry, @phdmama, QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird, Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings, red_special / @catp, @sadaveniren, @taggiecb *

(E, 20k, hate to love) Louis’ Wine Dive is a bar run by the people for the people. Wine Styles is a boutique tasting room that caters to a more highbrow clientele. 

🩷 Lock On by thinlines / @thinlinez

(E, 8k, a/b/o) In which a missed water balloon throw might have led Alpha Louis to the world's most difficult omega.

—Rare Pairs—

🩷 Ain't Laurent Without Yves by soyane

(M, 13k, Zayn/Harry) In the midst of making his dreams come true, he meets Harry - a very successful model with diva tendencies and a string of heartbroken ex-lovers. Or so he thinks.

🩷 and all that jazz by dragmeddown

(NR, 11k, Niall/Harry) Theatre kids AU where Niall is the stage manager and Harry is one of the leads.