#like I did not love Austria or San Marinos vocals but they brought something different to the table

[skellizo]

I thought after Måneskin won we would get a bunch of Rock?? Like the fuck happend?

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC '21 (semi-final two)

Good afternoon folks, and welcome to the second part of Undo my ESC – my annual quest to make the year’s Eurovision better (at least, for me xD) by making a feasible change in each country – it could be something as small as altering a lyric or a staging detail, or as big as a different artist entirely winning the NF. Semi-final one was here so let's jump straight into SF2!

🇸🇲 San Marino: We're thrown into the deep end here with a fan fav that doesn't do at all for me. I'm one of maybe 5 people on the planet who prefers Freaky by far, I guess? I'm happy for Senhit to be getting so much love and for the diminutive serene republic to finally have a shot at a good result - but I'm not so keen on the way it's been done. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me because my favourite thing about Adrenalina is Flo Rida's rap, but I don't like the idea of bringing in famed American artists like "ringers" to elevate a song above one with "only" local talent. I would be so tempted to give the rap part to local artist IROL instead to spit some hot bars in Italian.

🇪🇪 Estonia: I had hope this year, I really did, for my era of absolutely adoring Estonia at ESC to be revived after 4 painful years. There were so many good songs at this year's Eesti Laul, like those of Ivo Linna, Egert, Gram of fun, Heleza - but ultimately, my huge favourite was, as expected, Jüri Pootsmann. Anyone who followed this blog back in 2016 knows how much I adore Jüri and was desperate to see him get a redemption arc at ESC itself. Magus melanhoolia was one of the best songs of the season for me and one of the best stagings. As much as I prefer '20 artists to get their shot in '21, problematic Uku with his toxic ex vibes song will have to step aside and let the Jüri renaissance happen here.

🇨🇿 Czechia: I really dig Benny Cristo - he has personality, presence and his own enjoyable style. At first I was kinda disappointed with Omaga because I was expecting something more in the vein of Kemama, with more pronounced Afrobeat influences. But it has grown on me a lot too. My change? Add more Czech than just one blink-and-you-miss-it line, mate! (Article continues below)

🇬🇷 Greece: I see this being talked up as potential televote top 3 and I just don't get it. Maybe it's the way the chorus rhymes dance with itself three times (and uses the term rockin' romance unironically); maybe it's the way that there are better 80s-inspired songs both in ESC and many fallen tributes in the NF season... it just leaves me cold. I actually preferred Supergirl and my change would be for Stefania to bring something with some actual Greek flair.

🇦🇹 Austria: I’ll echo what I said last year about Österreich – how did they go from Conchita to a guy who wished he wouldn’t have gay kids like this? I find both of this guy's songs insipid in different ways and I would invite Pænda back instead to avenge her getting robbed with the beautiful Limits. Or give a second shot at glory to the incredible Cesár!

🇵🇱 Poland: Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love The Ride, and I feel bad for Alicja, but I much prefer it to Empires. What started as an ironic fondness for Rafał's cringy uncle vibes ended up being genuine appreciation - it's one of the few 80s-inspired songs that sound like they actually could have come out of that decade rather than like modern pastiches. And Raf actually does have an awkward charisma. My change - insert some Polish! Poland does so well with natural sounding bilingual efforts in JESC, they should bring it to the main contest too!

🇲🇩 Moldova: I was lowkey prepared to be disappointed by Moldova - I actually enjoyed Prison a lot and the news that they were going in a completely different direction didn't sit so well with me. And yet, I also love Sugar. Natalia's power! My changes: get rid of that weird scene with literally egg on her face - too on the nose for me. And incorporate a bit of the stellar Russian translation, Tuz bubi, because I'm always going to be advocating for more linguistic diversity xD

🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr can literally do no wrong with me. Whilst it doesn't have the same intense extra-fandom hype that Think about things did, I think I like Ten years even more. Nothing to change here.

🇷🇸 Serbia: It's no secret that Hurricane were far from my favourites at Beovizija 20, and that I find this a downgrade for Sanja compared to her powerful '16 song. And yet... Hasta la vista grew on me a lot, and so has Loco loco. It's something that is definitely scratching an itch at this year's ESC and the burst of anarchic energy it'll provide will be amazing. I am seriously tempted to change to the acoustic version, though, which has all the attitude of the original but is more beautiful for me and lets the girls' voices shine more.

🇬🇪 Georgia: Georgia keeps serving acquired tastes, and as a patron saint of marginal genres and I love them for that. This year, they've gone for something that even many fans of Tornike find hard to swallow - gone is the roaring rock of last year, replaced with a much more contemplative, soft effort that reminds me a little of Lou Reed. I enjoy both songs, but I can't deny preferring 2020. At the same time, I admire the chutzpah required to send something so different. I just wish there could be a moment to properly showcase T's powerhouse vocals.

🇦🇱 Albania: It was an odd Festival i këngës this year, outdoors in the freezing cold and without the orchestra that makes the songs soar so much more for me. Karma is a perfectly respectable winner, albeit one that lacks the immediacy and rawness of Shaj, Ktheju tokës and Mall. In my ideal alternate reälity, Arilena Ara would have been invited back. She'd bring a song as beautiful as Shaj - and not do a revamp into English that removes its edge this time.

🇵🇹 Portugal: 2015-2020 was a full on Portugal stan era for me. I want to believe that this year is an aberration and that in 2022, our lusitanian neighbours will produce the goods once again. Because ending a colossal streak of not sending songs that don't include Portuguese for this? I am baffled. I wanted the anthemic Joana do mar, produced beautifully by Luísa Sobral, or the timeless Contramão, which sounds like it escaped a Nouvelle Vague soundtrack. Saudade, Por um triz or a number of others would have been grand too.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: I wasn't expecting much from Bulgaria - I really didn't and don't like TGS and the majority of songs in Victoria's NF-but-not-really aren't my cup of tea. I was happy she got her second chance, but resigned to not liking the song much that would get picked. And then, my fav, which was last in many community ratings, ended up being her pick. I adore GUIGO and believe it has the possibility to do very, very well at Rotterdam and be one of the 'moments' of the evening.

🇫🇮 Finland: CRIMINAL how YLE treated Aksel - it felt like he wasn't the defending champion, and that Erika Vikman had won the previous year. They also - I believe, deliberately - split his vote by making his just one of a number of ballads, so of course what stood out most were the two decidedly non-ballady songs. Finland only two years ago had a single-artist UMK. They could and should have brought it back for Aksel. I'd hope Hurt would win it, because that song is stunning.

🇱🇻 Latvia: I was, and am, delighted that Latvia stuck with Samanta Tina. The lady lives and breathes ESC, even wrote a university thesis about it, and if she tried so many times, finally won and then DIDN'T get to go to ESC, I would have gone to LTV headquarters personally to remonstrate. I really like both her songs. The moon is rising is poised, powerful and like nothing else this year. The only thing I'd change is adding some Latvian because it's a gorgeous language and we've been waiting for ages to hear it again.

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Gjon's song is once again not really my cup of tea, or tears - but I enjoy it better than last year's and I'm glad he's back. Highkey wish it did include Albanian or Romansch like confused commenters last year thought it did.

🇩🇰 Denmark: There is literally no excuse for Denmark's treatment of Ben & Tan. I'm not even a big fan of their music at all, out to not even allow them to compete in DMGP to defend their win with Iron heart? Even though there are songs that competed in DMGP that I prefer a lot, most notably Står lige her, I would probably have let them have a proper second chance.

And the automatic qualifiers voting in this semi -

🇫🇷 France: For me, France had an absolutely enthralling, sincere, perfectly Gallic entry that hit me so hard in the feels. And whilst I respect Voilà, no, that wasn't it. It was Pourvu qu'on m'aime, easily one of the best songs I heard all year inside NFs or out. I find Voilà a little too mannered and affected, whilst PQM is a shot straight from Juliette's heart into mine. In my dream, it'd have won CVQD and be receiving the same love that Voilà is right now.

🇪🇸 Spain: Whilst it is getting next to no love in the fandom and seems quite forgotten, I find Voy a quedarme one of the best songs sent from this country in several years - and I say that having preferred Memoria. I am proud of Blas and love that he had a hand in writing this song. My change? He said recently that the staging in Rotterdam won't be inspired by the poignant music video despite wanting it to be - I would incorporate elements from it in the live.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Frankly, I think almost all the Big 5+1 brought it this year, with the notable exception of Germany. Embers is the banger that I never thought was coming from James Newman, and it's been one of the biggest earworms of the season. I wouldn't change anything about it - I'd just ensure that the staging replicated the energy of the video as much as possible!

[tvwriteups]

Notes as they happened.  I might do more general commentary later. (Might also not.)

France, Italy, and Spain in the last group. Hmm.

I watched the SFs on my laptop. I’m watching the grand final on a large screen TV with surround sound.

Malta

Well, getting the party started. I don’t think she’s a particularly strong singer.

Albania

A much, much, much better performance here than in the SF.

My only criticism is her walk to the front of the stage - needed more direction for that. It kind of felt like she did that too casually.

Czech Republic

This song just bores me.

I give them credit for vibrant colors.

But I take that away because I hate camera tricks. I’m more annoyed the second time around.

Germany

I’m expecting this to suck.

Not sure “I’m tired” are the best words to start with.

I don’t like the start but...it kind of gets better. The bridge of the song is awkward.

Ugh, the “sister” part is awful. The music builds to try to make this song more dramatic but...

I mean, not Lithuania-bad but almost. I haven’t heard four of the songs but I’m already predicting this for last.

Russia

I really don’t like this song at all. It tries too hard.

It doesn’t help that all I’m thinking of is when Sergey competed last time.

I wonder how many people watching this right now are thinking the same thing.

Denmark

Is it makeup or is she not getting enough sleep? Not as fun as the first time.

San Marino

Says a lot about this year that this is a middle-of-the-pack song.

I actually love that these guys love being here. They’re having fun.

North Macedonia

I’m just not a fan of this song. It gets repetitive very quickly. (I can’t believe that’s a criticism I’m lobbing at it after watching the “na na na” song.)

She does better with the belting than the lower register stuff.

Sweden

He started really well. I was loving his voice. But...

I don’t know. I like parts of the song but not altogether? It just kind of gets too busy for me at the end.

Slovenia

I really like the chorus of the song. It’s weird that it holds my attention for how little is happening on the stage.

Cyprus

Either they’re better in the final or this just plays different on a big screen.

You know, I think it’s that I don’t like it being played sexy. I think it would’ve worked better for me if it was played for “fun.”

The Netherlands

I hate the staging so much. Would’ve worked better with him standing at a microphone. Does he not have stage presence? Is that why he has to hide behind a piano that they don’t even show him mime-playing?

Light ball of randomness. Not really a fan of sad songs winning...if this wins.

Greece

This song feels like someone Frankensteined pieces of three different songs together. This song is weird, the presentation weirder but it’s holding my attention.

I’m laughing.

Those ribbons. Those strong, indifferent ribbons.

Israel

Don’t care for the video screen presentation.

Don’t care for the song.

Is the crowd singing along?

Bored.

That ending is just weird to me.

Norway

Ha ha!

Seriously, no way this guy is straight.

This is the most Eurovision song of the year. The beat carries the song and the singers just go for it. It’s admirable. I love them!

UK

Even your postcard is lame.

Not sure that light is even synced right.

I don’t like his voice on the verses.

Swedish guy took the better song for himself. So repetitive.

One of the backing singers has more charisma.

This is as bad as the Belgian entry.

Gosh, North Macedonia chick’s eyes look weary.

Serhat is a dentist?!

Iceland

I don’t understand how something can be this weird and not hold my attention.

Estonia

I hate the chorus.

Oops, camerawork.

So many leather jackets this year.

I hate the visual effects.

Belarus

They really brought the dancers.

I spent this second watch more or less watching the dancers. More enjoyable that way.

Azerbaijan

Crowd likes this for some reason.

Hate the lyrics.

This vocalizing part is ... ugh, effects.

France

This was a lot better than I was expecting. Good performance. (Granted, I had low expectations.)

Italy

You sure got the crappiest location for your dance.  Yeah, shipping container port.

I can’t really follow the song. It’s not bad. It’s just very different.

Sincere.

Kind of reminds me of that time Hungary sent that domestic violence song.

Not sure it’s a one-listen song.

Serbia

I forgot this song had made it through.

She can’t go near an MRI machine.

Switzerland

Crowd just roared for this one.

Oh, this is also a very Eurovision song.

There’s nothing about their dancing that’s remotely dirty.

I don’t really think he’s all that compelling dancing in isolation. He needs those backing dancers to make him look good

Australia

Time for this weirdness.

Can’t wait to see the discrepancy between jury votes and televoting.

I still hate this. The only part of this song I like is the bridge.

Maybe I’d be more impressed if I didn’t know someone who sings opera.

Spain

I love that Spain is trying.

This is a good performance.

This song is too fast though.

Former Eurovision Contestants

Conchita Wurst performing “Heroes”

I adore Mans but I think I prefer Conchita singing his song.

Mans performing Fuego; not a fan of this rendition

Eleni gets “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” (or whatever the hell it is)

There’s more dirty dancing here than the Swiss song.

Verka gets “Toy”

The gold and silver lame!

Those backing dancers in those outfits really make this act for me.

I think this was a good way of getting these songs back in while not feeling too familiar and repetitive.

Hallelujah!

This year:

No really good song.

No outstanding voice.

No ridiculously charismatic performer.

Madonna Interview:

Awkward interview with Madonna.

Madonna totally comes off like a mom.

I mean that mom when you’re a pre-teen and you’re trying to distance yourself.

The Idan Raichel Project

Just not my kind of music

Eh.

Cuervo interview

Guy don’t know what ESC is

They need to cut this interview before he backs himself into a corner

The mentalist again

This has to be rehearsed. Seriously.

Netta

Not into this.

Now I understand bringing in Madonna

Norway made me smile the most. I’d vote for Norway.

I think the crowd really loved Switzerland.

Madonna’s Performance:

I’m so used to Madonna lip-syncing so this is weird for me.

I’m underwhelmed by Madonna.  First time I’ve ever written that in my life.

This is why she lip-syncs. But, like, why the eye-patch? That can’t be good for the depth perception.

And now they’re closing voting.

I don’t think pre-recorded Gal Gadot should qualify as having Gal Gadot on your show.

Does Gal Godot need lighting this soft?

Jan Ola Sand

I wonder if Russia hacked the televoting.

Juries

Portugal gives 12 points to the Netherlands

Azerbaijan -> Russia

Malta goes for Italy

North Macedonia -> Italy (this one surprised me)

San Marino -> Italy

Nederlands -> Sweden

Montenegro -> Serbia (duh)

Estonia ->r Sweden

Poland -> Australia 

Norway (Alex Rybak) -> Czech Republic? Really?

Spain -> Sweden

Austria -> North Macedonia

UK -> North Macedonia

Italy -> Denmark

Albania -> North Macedonia

Hungary -> Czech Republic

Moldova -> North Macedonia

Ireland -> Sweden

Belarus -> Israel

Armenia (Aram! He has way more Personality here than when he performed.) -> Sweden

Romania -> Australia

Cyprus -> Greece and cue the groaning

Green room

Back to juries:

Australia (Not the old Asian lady) -> Sweden (Another reason why I want Australia kicked out)

Russia -> Azerbaijan (duh)

Germany -> Italy. Oh good.

Can’t wait to see how many public votes Iceland gets.

Belgium -> Italy

Sweden (Eric Saade) -> Netherlands

Croatia -> Italy

Lithuania -> the Netherlands

Serbia -> North Macedonia

Iceland -> Sweden

Georgia -> Czech Republic

Greece -> Cyprus. Boos. LOL

Latvia -> the Netherlands

Czech Republic -> Sweden

Denmark (Rasmussen) -> Sweden

France -> The Netherlands

Finland -> Sweden

Switzerland -> North Macedonia

Slovenia -> Czech Republic

Israel -> the Netherlands

How do juries work? Is there lobbying that goes on behind the scenes? Are people just happy that FYROM got a real name now? Is the singer just a really nice and lovely person who built up a lot of goodwill the first time she competed? Was the jury presentation THAT MUCH BETTER than either performance I saw?

Now time for public vote where we see Norway cleanup LOL

I actually want Sweden to win because Petra.

This show feels so long.

Sweden green room.  More Jan Ola Sand

Reverse order points:

Oh, this is different reveal order. Usually they did least to most.

Ouch UK.  Ouch!

Predicted that with Germany! I’d rather be UK in last with getting at least 3 public votes than finishing where Germany did with ZERO from the public.

Norway gets 291 points!!!  In the lead!!!

Iceland with 186 points!

France gets 38 points.

Russia got 244 points and the lead.

Switzerland got 212 points

Czech Republic got 7 points ...... totally opposite the jury. muahahaha

Australia 131 points

Azerbaijan gets 100

Italy gets 253 and the lead

Netherlands 261 points and the lead.

North Macedonia 58 points. Not surprising.

Sweden 93