#like bro i cant keep getting away with this. im starting to feel cringe

[0thsense]

11/29/2023

It's been a while since nippon and nothing good has happened. That's not really true but it is true I haven't made progress on my goals. I've even made negative progress on lifting and running. Or maybe sideways who cares im just not dedicated enough. why do i bother with good grammar on these posts just let it go bro.

I did well on the osu tournament at least, but ive gotta give up on that shit. just play for fun and casual improvement. I fucked up my wrist the other day too and it still hurts. It kinda hurts to type to be honest. tumblr can fuck off with the spellcheck btw. i talked to Peter about his journaling and im starting to think that my thoughts are just way more cringe than average. ur telling me everyone else doesnt have to hold back cringe all the time? i love being cringe is the problem

one thing I remember feeling on the way to see my pt is that i think i like feeling sad. the type of sad where id like to say its something other than self pity but its probably just self pity. god im so reluctant to say im falling into a common trap that is wallowing in self pity.

oh yea I started taking caffeine pills and not taking medication. I don't think its helping so far but I feel less shit all the time. is it time to truly give up? im scared that im losing my mental faculties. I remember I used to try to optimize everything i did. which i thought was dumb at the time because I would proceed to waste all the extra time I had. but now I dont have that drive to optimize anymore. i dont believe in myself to be different anymore. in fact its a struggle to even be normal.

i dont know if ive talked about this before but I tried to go for a route in my life where I wouldnt have to learn to be normal. if I got far enough doing special weird things then people would accept that I didnt have to be normal, and theyd even praise me for it. but now that ive fallen off the wagon I have to just be behind on being normal instead. I hate the feeling that other people will look at me and think I was wrong all along.

Im so doomer in these posts. I guess getting off the medication wasnt enough to stave away the depression. I didnt even do anything today either programming wise. Theres a month left, and its december. maybe i should just start leetcoding now. I say that cuz its the normal thing to say but there is no way I start before the new year. time to pretend to be happy for the holidays.

im worried that it will be difficult to find a job. i want to find a job in new york but i need to find a position that lets me afford rent. i have a limited number of people i can reach out to for referrals and if those dont pan out im probably in deep trouble and will need to take whatever i can get.

there's a channel called hoe_math on yt that has blackpilled views but surprisingly its really popular. the couple vids i watched were entertaining and agreeable and im scared of watching more and becoming a misogynist. the old me would not have been scared. watch and sift the new information and try to remain as objective as possible keeping in mind all of your own biases. now im a thinking plebian. what happened to me? i ask as i know the answer perfectly well.

also i think im bad at diagnosing my own mental state. after taking molly for the first time i could barely tell i felt anything. that probably has an effect on my diet for example, where my instinct on what i need to eat is dull. is this linked to not being in touch with my emotions? ur feelings are partly a reflection of your body's state after all.

i cant even finish this stupid pong game. any mental obstacle that i think will take like an hour is just too much. the true test of will is the will that can give consistent effort day after day. i wonder how neurotypicals feel. does it also feel literally impossible for them to do certain things? what does it mean to just not want to do something? determinism wise everything either happens or is impossible. i have a hard time relating that to the things adhd stops me from doing. maybe the reason im more inclined to believe determinism is that adhd makes the illusion of choice much weaker.

[crvstybowlofcereal]

rant lol

This rant is very jumbled and unimportant lol theres no specific order of anything, im just talking hehe literally dont even bother reading it XD I’m starting to get into scene and i feel like such a poser but like 

bro i was a CHILD child when scene was first popular (2004 baby)

and also i have like no opportunities to indulge in the fashion rn because im temporarily unemployed and its my first year out of school. 

and im seeing a lot of scene kids complaining about the new tiktok “scenecore” kids because its fake scene and really just glitchcore and im just like... am i being fake scene?? i dont know? im just trying to do what makes me happy but its making me feel guilty not knowing if im doing it “right”????

and also things like my hair is super short (because i shaved it in the summer) so i cant do the teased parted bangs i dont drink energy drinks anymore for my health a lot of the clothes are short, tight, etc, which i love but its COLD >.>

and im still into punk music and fashion, i just want to incorporate more scene elements and i see people talking about how scene music is usually pop punk but i dont like pop punk that much? i like some pop punk songs, but i prefer punk rock and riot girl punk, and i really like the 2000′s 2010′s energetic music (Little Kandi Raver, Pretty Rave Girl, Psycho Teddy, Pika Girl, etc etc) when scene was around, i was in elementary school, and i liked the popular scene things! but again, i was in elementary school, and also my family was dirt poor so even if i did know about and want scene-fashion type clothes and accessories we wouldnt have been able to afford it (i had some nice clothes because i got hand me downs from people who did have money, also like a quarter of my wardrobe came from my schools community closet because i was clumsy and always spilled on myself, but thats besides the point) considering the things i liked 4th-6th grade (2014-2016) i might have ended up being scene in middle school if i wasn’t so plagued with cringe culture

anyways, it’s the rawring 20s and i love to see scene culture coming back and i want to partake in it, but im feeling something akin to imposter syndrome?? I’m just gonna keep doing what makes me happy and wait for the feeling to go away, because i felt like this when i started getting into punk too, and i still love it, so.

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[souichieatr]

—wave, nishinoya y.

in which he meets them in the library.

they/them used , 1,558 words

a/n: kinda rushed the end bc ive been writing this for awhile so pls dont be too disappointed im honestly just trying to get comfortable writing but i hope you enjoy, lower case intended

“why are we even here ryu its summer we should be going to the pool” the smaller boy whined, entering the library with his best friend. “noya i just need to drop off this book for my sister calm down” tanaka sighed “im gonna head to the jump section meet me there” nishinoya said waving off his friend after the comment was acknowledged. looking for the section he caught a glimpse of and intriguing character, he couldnt see them because of all the book they were carrying. walking to them whispering “hey you look like you need help, mind if i?” startled the person jumps a little. “yes please, my coworker just stacked them on top of me” letting a small laugh out, laughing a little with them he took some books off of the pile so they could see. looking at them his breathing hitched, beautiful is all he could think. after a second of him starting the person asked if he was okay, nodding his head smiling “where we headed with these?” lifting his arm. “to the front, these are donations” they said took a step looking back for the male to follow them. he started to make conversation with questions like ‘whyd your coworker leave?’ ‘do you work here?’ ‘what's your name?’ the walk wasnt that long so he couldn't get to know them that much. “i cant believe you work here? its summer you should be out in the sun!” he said whisper-yelling, with a small laugh they replied “well its easy money and i get to stay with the air conditioning i think its a win win.” putting his hand on his chin and closing his eyes, nodding his head with a hum “who am i to criticize someone whos getting that bag, consider me jealous.” getting a buzz from his pocket he took his phone out seeing tanaka asking where he is. “my friend is looking for me, will you give me the pleasure in obtaining your number?” he said looking up at them, they do the same pose he was doing a minute ago. “well you dont seem like a stalker plus i can repay you for helping me, here” they say grabbing the phone from his hand typing their number and naming the contact ‘y/l/n.’ “well mr nishinoya i will expect a response from you soon” they back up leaning on the books. “oh wait i need a contact picture everyone has one in my phone” he says with a little pride, hearing a laugh from them his smile widens “im not taking a picture i look bad right now” they say turning to the books. “fine next time i see you im getting that picture” he says, giving them a wave “bye y/l/n” waving back to him they nod.

looking back on this memory a smile appeared on their face. getting up from the vanity straightening their clothes. “you ready?” their mom asks with a small smile, looking at her baby memories coming back of their first steps, first words, first fall, first lost tooth. breaking from her thoughts to see her child nod. “okay it's almost time you look good honey” she said, walking up to them fixing any mistakes she finds. “wow i cant believe youre leaving me” looking at their mom with an eyebrow raised “hey now dont get upset with me, its yuu’s fault hes the one who proposed” they say with a smile. “well i cant really be mad, he did ask for permission hes such a gentleman” as she finishes a knock at the door alerts both of them. y/n’s friend at the door pops in. “time to shine and make the male cry y/n'' laughing at their own joke, y/n lets go of their moms hand taking a deep breath. “oh gosh dont joke about him crying i know he will'' they say laughing walking to the door. seeing all the decorations theyve picked out, seeing their family and family run around as they walk, everything feeling in slow motion. in their place their dad comes tears in his eyes. “oh dad cmon” they say nudging him. “oh hush your moms already been bugging me let me be” seeing the people in front of them move they start walking in the doors. seeing all the colors and familiar faces of friends of both parties, forward they see him. when they lock eyes his eyes go wide and he straightens up with a smile. getting to the end of the walkway, letting go of their dad and taking his hands. “wow” he says under his breath. the marriage officiant clears his throat, “i dont wish to keep these two waiting any longer lets start”

it didnt take too long keeping it short and getting to the vows. facing him with a smile, seeing him grab a piece of paper. “i actually came prepared im just that cool” showing everyone the paper getting a couple chuckles from the audience, turning back seeing your eyes watch him his smile gets even bigger. “when i first met y/n i didnt really see them, just a pile of books their coworker dumped on them, to this day i will thank that coworker and ryu for dragging me there. while im thanking people i want to thank y/n for being them, they might not see how perfect they are but in my eyes they are, no one could be or even get remotely close to how perfect i see them. i wanna thank their parents too” he says turning to them “i know its not easy to let go but thank you for trusting me to them, i promise to be the best” he says looking at both of them, determination burning in his eyes when he turns back to look at his partner. “i love you y/n now please dont make me cry with all your big words in your vows'' he says closing his eyes and bringing their joined hands to his face kissing their knuckles. chuckling at his words breaking their hands apart they grab a paper. “i make no promises yuu” seeing him deflate a little “ive had people ask me ‘what is love?’ and i never really knew how to answer besides saying ‘you just kinda know’ even looking up on google how to describe love i never really understood what they were trying to say, but now being with yuu i think i can finally grasp what ive been trying to say. being in love with someone is like surfing, your partner being the water and you being the one riding the wave. you approach the water calmy or you can rush into it, and when the wave comes depending on the size it can range from small and gentle or strong and destructive, even if you are a pro surfer you still get waves that you just cant conquer. now why i bring this up? for once in my life i can say im in love, im so helplessly in love with you yuu. youre the gentle warm wave everyone wants even if i do fall i know youll catch me and bring me to the shore, not to sound cringe and cliche but with you i do feel like i can do anything maybe even surf” laughing at your own little joke you take a breath looking up from your paper to see him. the man you didnt think youd, the man youd soon with for the rest of your life. in tears he lets out a chuckle “we can learn together” he says sniffing, taking his hands once again “im in love with you, yuu” seeing his bottom lip tremble “sir can we hurry this up i really need to kiss the love of my life right now” he says in a hushed voice, the pastor laughs and nods, “i dont think we have any objections? alright beautiful, may we have the rings?” turning to your god daughter as she walks with the rings to the front, giving both of your legs a hug she walks back. handing the rings to each of you, “nishinoya yuu do you take y/l/n y/n as your partner in life?” “yes a hundred times” he says in one breath, putting the ring on your left ring finger gently. “y/l/n y/n do you take nishinoya yuu as your life partner?” “yes, i do” coping his motions, interlocking your hands with the biggest smiles on your faces. “i have the honor of announcing you both married yuu you may kiss your partner.” not wasting time he pulls them towards him locking lips. in slow mention it felt like pulling away, the noise from friends and family, him with his eyes swelled up and red from crying, and to the ring on both of your fingers. “wow we're married” is all he says, “wow we're married” they repeat, he turns to the crowd throwing their joined hands “IM MARRIED!!!” receiving a smile and laugh from everyone, his best friend getting up “BRO YOURE MARRIED '' cheers erupt from everyone again, the sound of the waves crashing wasnt far from them and both of them are determined to catch at least one wave.

[littlebabycrybtch]

bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality. 

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person. 

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !! 

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

[eccentriccowboy]

Assassin// pt. 3

Synopsis: Luke confronts his target with the help of y/n and her secret weapon.

Can you tell I’m not good at synopsis’?? that was god awful just read the god damn fic ok

Pairing: Slow burn bestfriend!Luke x reader

Warnings: None besides my lack of proofreading.

Word Count: 1.9 k

Notes: Im so so sorry this took so long to write life has been all over the place for me at the moment.

part 1 and part 2 here!!

also i cant stop staring at calum leaning back on michaels arm and just wow what couple goals. and also ashton glaring back at them bc michaels touching his man.

*****

As the number of players dwindled down Luke was beginning to become more and more anxious.  I better not mess up now, like I usually do, Luke was thinking, lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. I need another win. At least I’ve won twice, unlike Y/N.

Y/N. Fuck. She(He/they, idk who you are) is so focused on winning this year, it’s adorable. Part of me, the part that can’t stop thinking about her smile, or her laugh, or the way she says my name, wants to help her win; even if that means I lose. But the logical side of me is telling me that’s stupid, she hasn’t even shown she likes me back.

But she did kiss me on the cheek earlier today. Thinking about it made Luke’s heart clench tightly, a small smile at the memory tracing his lips. But she’s done that before, it probably wasn’t anything special, just a way of saying thanks. Luke reasoned with himself. But this one was different, it felt different. And she left so quickly afterwards. Was she nervous? Does she feel the same? 

Luke shook his head, his feelings getting the best of him. He should be focusing on how to get Calum out. He’ll deal with you later. Luke turned on his side, trying to get more comfortable in the hopes of finally finding sleep. After a long while, he drifted off to dream, the feeling of your soft lips against his cheek never leaving his mind, no matter his state of consciousness.

*****

Luke woke early that morning to the sound of his phone ringing loudly. He quickly reached over to his nightstand, his heart clenching when he saw your name flash across the screen.

He ran a hand through his curls, even though you couldn’t see him, before pressing the ‘answer’ button.

“Yea?” he answered, his voice hoarse from his sudden awakening.

“Hey,” you replied, trying your best to not focus on how low and gruff his morning voice sounded. Damn it, he’s gonna be the death of you.

“Whya calling me so early?” he asked. “Not that I’m mad or anything, just like, wondering,” Luke cringed internally at his awkwardness, but thankfully enough you giggled.

“Well we’ve got Calum to get out, don’t we? Times a tickin’.“

Luke chuckled. “God damn, Y/N. You really wanna win this year, huh? You know this game could go on for weeks, really.”

You shrugged. “So what if I wanna be victorious a bit early?”

“Fair enough,” Luke agreed, “But what’s the plan? I can tell you’ve already made one up.”

You smirked mischievously. “Open up your door and find out,”

*****

Luke’s eyes widened. He didn’t know you were already here. He quickly rushed out of bed, throwing on a pair of sweatpants before looking himself in the mirror and splashing water on his face.

He jumped to his door, opening up to see you and a guest waiting, smiling at each other. Luke’s jaw dropped, disbelief riding over him that you would go this far.

There in front of him stood Mali-koa, Calum’s sister, who he hasn’t seen in well over six months.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Y/N,” Luke laughed, bring Mali in for a hug. She laughed along with him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Once they stepped back from the hug, Luke ushered you two into his apartment, still in disbelief you’d go as far as to fly in Mali for this game.

Luke flopped on the couch, jiggling his knee in excitement, “I see you have brought a secret weapon,”

Mali laughed at that. “Is that all I am to you?”

The two of them dove into conversation, catching up like old buddied. They had grown up together, so seeing each other was always a pleasant occasion.

Meanwhile, you were a bit too busy trying to distract yourself with your phone to get your mind off of Luke, who was sitting two feet away. Shirtless.

It’s not like you haven’t ever seen him shirtless before, it just caught you off guard. Here you are trying to organize a plan to help him yet you could not stop staring at the line of silver necklaces that laid against his broad chest.

Mali and Luke’s conversation had drifted to this year’s game of Assassin. He had started to ask her about the plan, but apparently she didn’t know, either. 

This led to you, the Puppet Master, if you will. You began to explain the plan, a rather simple one compared to the amount of work(going through trash) it took to get Michael and Ashton out. For this one, you really just get to sit back and watch the plan unfold.

*****

It started with a text. A short, quick one from Mali to Calum. Hey there, lil bro. Want a surprise gift?? You smirked as Mali sent it, waiting for Calum’s reply.

It did not take long for the response. Calum texted back a quick what? and just like that the plan was in action.

Mali revealed what was happening, or what Calum would think was happening. Wellll, I may or may not be in LA right now to visit you...

You giggled, knowing already that Calum won’t be able to turn this down. You kind of felt bad, taking advantage of Calum’s family connection just to win a game, or in this case for Luke to win, but to be fair, the Hoods were an easy-going family; And technically, you didn’t specifically tell Mali too come here to help trick her brother into losing, you more so just knew she was planning on visiting her brother soon and suggested she fly on the closest available day possible. 

Mali boarded the next possible flight right after you two talked, knowing it’d be hilarious to not only trick Calum, but get to brag about it afterwards. And hey, she gets to see her brother, who she hadn’t seen in ages.

Calum started screaming at Mali over text, clearly showing his excitement over her being here. After countless texts, blowing up Mali’s phone, she suggested the two meet up. Calum immediately agreed.

They agreed to meet at a bar that was close to Mali’s hotel, the plan setting in place perfectly. 

Luke started to get giddy with excitement, tricking his best friend bringing his great joy. He couldn’t believe he fell for this so easily.

Right when the three of you were getting ready to walk out the door, Mali’s phone rang. 

“Shit, it’s Calum.” Mali answered the call, her bright face slowly falling. “Gimme a minute, ok?” she told the caller. 

She put her hand over her phone, blocking out her next words. “He fucking remembered the game. He’s asking if I can just meet up with him at his place.”

Your face fell, the thought of the plan failing hitting you hard. But you did not get Mali to fly all the way over here just for a family reunion. Nuh-uh, Luke was going to get Calum out. 

Luke was as determined as you are. “Tell him his place is really far from your hotel, you’re tired.”

Mali quickly reiterated the lines, going on about how much she did just to get here. Calum hesitated, but reluctantly agreed.

“Fine, just don’t post anything about where we’re gonna be. And for the love of god Mali, don’t you dare fucking talk to Luke,” he said before hanging up the phone.

Mali laughed, the adrenaline of this plan settling in. “Let’s go get that bastard out.”

*****

Kicking it in the passenger seat of Luke’s rental car was by far the easiest part of the night. The three of you had driven over to the bar, but you had stayed in the car, locked in and safe away from Calum, your attacker.

Meanwhile, Mali had walked into the bar, where she waits for her brother. Luke, on the other hand, was waiting in the men’s room, waiting for the queue from you to run and get Calum.

It wasn’t long until you saw Calum’s car pull up to the bar, right next to the rental. You slumped down in your seat, keeping your eyes trained on Calum’s body as he walked quickly into the bar, his head checking behind his shoulder, paranoid that Luke was here. And, oh boy, should he be.

You called Luke on facetime, wanting him to film when he got Calum out. He answered from the boys bathroom, and automatically knew what you were calling for. Excitement took over his features, and your heart warmed at his smile. You smiled back, and told him Calum had just entered the bar.

He kept you on facetime as he quietly opened the bathroom door and tiptoed his way around the wall, peaking around to see Mali and Calum hugging. Mali was smiling over his shoulder, her arms wrapped tightly around her brother, and as she opened her eyes she made eye contact with Luke, sending him a quick thumbs up.

Right as they were pulling away from the hug, Luke ran up from behind, placing both hands on Calum’s shoulders. Calum looked behind him, bewildered, before realization struck. 

“Fuck, No! You’ve gotta be kiddin me!” Calum wailed. Luke broke out in a fit of laughter, you along with him. Mali giggled as well, wrapping her arm around her brother’s shoulders. 

“Sorry, lil bro, Y/N’s got a devious brain, that one” Mali remarked, making you laugh harder over the phone. 

“Fuck you, Y/N” Calum laughed. “I was planning to get you out tomorrow,”

“Well not anymore!” Luke hollered, ecstatic over his win. 

“Well now you’ve gotta go up against her,” Calum reminded him, crossing his arms. 

Mali laughed. “Good luck with that, she seems pretty determined this year.”

“Now get out of here, let me enjoy some time with my sister without you asshole” Calum said. 

Luke said his goodbyes, before looking to you on facetime. “Alright, we only have the one car. So I say, I’ll drive us to my home, we can kick it there. No attacking the other. The game will start again tomorrow. Deal?” Luke questioned.

“Deal,” you agreed. “Let’s order some food.” you said, before hanging up and waiting for him to come back to the car.

Before he entered the rental, he reminded you of your deal, as if you didn’t just make it 30 seconds ago. 

“Yes, I understand. Now just take me home. I’m tired.” you replied, the adrenaline from your plan succeeding wearing off.

He got in the car, a small smile still on his face, making you smile a bit, too. You leaned against the car window, admiring the man seated next to you. You two drove in comfortable silence, until he finally said: “Thank you for today. The plan and stuff, it was- it was really cool.” He smiled, turning his eyes away from the road to face you. 

You smiled back, keeping eye contact until he had to face the road again. You kept looking at him, until you slowly drifted off to sleep in the passenger seat, only coming to consciousness once more later.  When Luke had tucked you into his bed, pressing a small kiss to your forehead, the feeling of his soft lips on your forehead becoming engrained into your memory.

*****

thanks for reading!!

taglist for Assassin: @cashtonspicelatte @curlious

@wrappedaroundcal @teenswithbrokensmiles @lu-fakebetch @northangerpark

@summertime-acoustic @yasminesflowers @oh-annaa @that1girlmary

[skyyzi]

SO I HAD A DAY DREAM AND I SHARED IT WITH @jeonslilmonster and now Im posting it here because its a mess and Im a mess heads up long post a head(there is more under the cut)! I apologize for all the spelling mistakes this was written when I was either A VVVV tired or B really rushing x’d enjoy

so uuh basically it's a stupid thing but I like debuted with a girl group  and the concept had been like pretty sweet and cute so far but not like sugary sweet just sweet enough and it was like a open secret that I maybe a little bit had some sort of feelings directed towards Kino

and it was put on record more then once by other members in like behind the scenes and stuff  teasing me about listening to their music and watching them from backstage of MCD and stuff

so then like every body knew sort of well our entire company knew and they reached out to Cube and was like 

''HEY so you know our girl group that is kind of on the rise and getting really populor yeah you know our main dancer? we were thinking maybe she could collab with one of the members from pentagon for like a co-ed subunit thing and like we're just throwing this out there but maybe they could have like a reality show as well showing their relationship build and their teamwork getting better and they're like living together kind of like a behind the scenes and were just throwing this out there but maybe it could be like Kino because he's a dancer two and that would make them a really great dancing couple we mean unit''

so cube was like looking at our company and back at Kino then back at our company and then back at Kino and Kinos like wut? and Cube is like 

''WE LOVE THIS IDEA ON the condition that we can have Hui and E-dawn make the track for them.'' 

and our companys like ''WE WERE JSUT GOING TO THROW IT OUT THERE THAT HUI AND EDAWN COULD MAKE THEIR TRACK FOR THEM!''  

and basically the ceo of Cube and our ceo were happily jumping around like best momfreinds thinking their were onto the next big thing

meanwhile we're all like practising for a showcase coming up and just ot like stay in shape and were having fun and stuff when the Ceo walks in and were like 

OH SNAP HE FOUND OUT ABOUT OUR SNACK HIDE OUT AND THERE IS CAMERAS  SO WERE THINKING WE ABOUT TO GET SCOLDED ON OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL

 so we're terrified but turns out he didn't and he just wanted to brief us on the unit thing and I didn't even realize it was me until the leader in my group pointed it out like 

''oohoooooo look at our little dancer going to do a co-ed unit with some boy just don't fall in love to easily'' i was like wuuut meee?? wait wait wait who is this sub unit with?? and the CEO JUST STRAIGHT UP SMIRKS AND GOES 

''oh you know just Pentagons Kino'' 

AND THEN JSUT MAKES UP A SHITTY EXCUSE WHY AND OUT GROUP GOES MAD LAUGHING AND COOING AND I'M JSUT BLUSHING DYING ON THE INSIDE TRYING TO KEEP MY COOL AND my leader goes

 ''GUESS THE FALLING PART IS ALREADY TO LATE FOR HUH!?''

cut to the actual start of the reality shoot which is move in day and before this like me an dKino hadn't really met up because they wanted this to be a SUPER genuine interaction so I arrive early and I walk around in the small but cosy apartment trying to calm myself down and distracting myself by looking at the different things inspecting the kitchen and unpacking but I still finished everything before he arrived so I probably sat on the couch and freaked out a little relaxing by playing a game on my phone with ear buds in. 

so I didn't hear him when he came in and he just like looked around and saw my feet hanging over the couch edge and walked over saying hello again and I just bounce up blushing apologizing and bowing and saying hello to him and he's like nonon it's okay it's nice to see that you've settled in and then we talk for a bit and he goes to unpack and I just literally deflate on the couch

Then he comes out of his room and asking if there is any food in the fridge and I'm like no and I'm reaaaally hungry so he's like then we should go grocery shopping so we out our jackets on and we leave and it's kind of awkward walking there but once inside I'm going into full food shopping mode and im pulling out a cart and just sliding along 

and we start talking about what we should eat and he's like lets do take out and I'm like noooooo I'll cook I'm not really feeling take out tonight so we buy stuff for that and he picks out regular noodles 

and before I like point it out that I need gluten free ones he's like ''oh wait you're gluten intolerant right? will rice noodles work?'' 

and he reaches behind me 

bAXKING ME UP AGAISN THE WALL 

SO IM TRRAPPED BETWEEN HIM AND A WALL

and I'm like y-yeah rice noodles totally work 

and then I'm like h-how did you know I was gluten intolerant????? 

because honestly HEARTATTCKMOMENT RIGHT THERE and he just shrugs and goes ''I've watch your group on varitey shows and seen you suffer when they order pizza you cant eat.'' and I just went 

''woaaah so chic'' without even thinking and he just chuckles and pulls the cart along while I'm hanging over it (now you can totally imagine how this would be edited right?!??)

then we head back to our little apartment and he helps me unpack and I tie my hair up and start prepping the food and he's like do you need help can I help in any way and I'm like uuuhmm no I'm fine you should relax for a while this won't be taking so long and he's like but I really want to help you don't have to do all of this by yourself and 

I'm like go relax AND LET ME COOK A MEAL FOR MY SUNBAENIM and he's like okay okay and he goes off into his bedroom for a while before he comes out and says ''I'm taking a shower''

 and as soon as he closes the door I deflate again muttering to myself before getting up like nothing happened and continued to cook quietly for myself humming a little just plating up as he got out (fully dressed) 

and I'm like ''ah I just finished!'' and he comes over and I move a bowl closer to him and hand him some utensils and we star to eat and he looks geniune when he smiles and says that he really likes it and I go ''good because this won't happen often''

 and he just laughs and then he asks if I cook often for you guys and I'm like yeah when I moved here they'll probably miss my food more then me and he chuckles in disbelife for a moment and once we're finished he's like 

'' I'll do the dishes since you cooked thank you really'' and I'm like o-okay just save the left overs! before I head off and also take a shower taking off my make up and dressing in my pyjamas walking out just as I finished putting a face mask on and I just go 

''watch out there's a monster!'' 

and he's like where? and he turns around and I jump out with a grey bubbly mask and he jumps a little and I laugh so hard I almsot fall over

and then I wash it off and walk back out again really smug that I got him and we end up sitting on the ouch for a while talking about our schedules for tomorrow where the cameras are rigged how I totally got to him and so on

and then the show goes like that and it shows us growing closer and closer with each task we do together and we both have a selfcamera that we bring to our seperete activities and Kino brought his to his practice with pentagon and while they are resting they start grilling him like 

''is she cute? have you seen her without make up? did she really cook for you? when can we meet her?''

 and he just tries to answer casually but they are boys so of course they are going to ask wierd quesitions and then Hui grabs the camera when hes talking to Kino and he lowers it pretending that he turned it off 

and he just goes ''okay so off the record you think she's cute right?'' and kino just like ''y-yeah I mean she's cute but-''

''so you've liked her for a long time right?'' ''ah hyung how did you-''

''I keep track of things now answer me you like her... right? like more as a friend like her?'' and Kino hestites for a moment cringing that he's opening up about this and just goes. 

''yes. I really like her... she's just so...special.....yeah there is nobody like her’’ and Hui just 

nods and puts a hand on his shoulder.

''well I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel.'' ''but what if she doesn't like me the same way?'' and Hui just looks and him deadpanned and goes 

''if you've seen one episode of her groups reality show you'll know that's a stupid question'' and then he hands the camera to him and walks away and when Kino looks down he's like

 THIS IS STILL RECORDING YAH HYUNG GET BACK HERE

and when the editors get this clip they are like....... bro.....this is gold bro.....but bro....we should talk to the ceos bro....I know bro....and probably them too bro...I know bro 

SOOOO they did talk to the Ceo and they just swirvel around in their chairs going ''excelent'' and they call up each other like our masterplan is working...and then cube ceo would call Kino into his office and show him the video

 and after it ended he would go ''confess to her'' and Kino would be so confused like but I our company?? the reputation??? and cube just hushes him and goes ''we've been looking at the comments and me and her ceo already hoped for this and we think it'll only help both groups immensly!'' ''but the dating ban?'' ''what dating ban??'' 

and then our ceo would call me in like ''hey so I know that you like Kino'' and I'm like all dramatically going 

''OOOhho nnOOO hOw DId yOU finD OUT IT's noT LIke my memBERS HAS BEEN OUting ME  sinC e day 1'' 

and he'd just laugh and go ''I think you should confess'' and I'm like ''okay I think you are delusional forrellz '' and he's like 

''nonono this'll be good'' 

''being rejected won't look good bruv'' 

and he'd be like ''you won't be rejected''

 ''and I'm liek yeah HAVE YOU SEEN HIM CUBE FOR 1 HAS A DATING BAN AND 2 HE HASN'T SHOWN ANY INSTEREST IN ME''

 ''what about the fact that he remembered about your allergy? or when he bought you that keychain because yours broke? OR THE SMILE ON HIS FACE WHEN YOU VISITED HIM PRACTISING?!!?'' 

and I'd be a blushing mess pouting like ''th-those aren't proof'' and he's just groan and face palm. ''trust me please! when have I ever lied to you?''

''when you said I'd debut with a sexy concept.''

''OMLL THAT'S IN THE PAST STOP BEING SO ANNOYING''

so that night when I got home to that tiny little apartment Kino hadn't arrived yet so I had the place for myself for a  while and I made some dinner ar set aside some for him and I changed into some really comfy clothes and just laid down on the floor and watched netflix thinking over everyhting the CEO told me sighing deeply rolling around on my back and sighing into the floor until I heard a chuckle. 

''Long day?'' ''yeah, there's food in the kitchen for you.'' ''a-ah thank you but I already ate.''

 ''great more for me then! I really nailed it this time!'' I'd say smiling as I got off the floor and started to walk over to the kitchen until he stopped me.

 ''BUT I'm still pretty hungry andI'm not going to miss out on a homecooked meal.'' 

and I just looked at him and the arm he was holding out infront of me trying to calm myself form a moment. ''I don't understand how you eat so much?! Do all boys eat this much food?'' and he'd just laugh and grab the food and heat it while I went back to the couch and nuzzled up in a corner. 

''what are you watching?'' ''I don't know I stopped paying attention 3 episodes ago...'' and it was quiet for a while. 

''you seem to have a lot on your mind... d-do you want to talk about it?'' and I contemplated it for a while before asking if it was okay and he just went ''we're the same age go ahead!''

and I braced myself and turned towards him slightly and nervously pulled on my shirt before talking . 

''so uhhh... my CEO called me into a meeting today and he talked to me about things that I foolishly thought I had managed to keep away from him...'' I said biting my cheek face palming. ''o-oh? did you get in trouble?'' I shook my head ''n-no quite the opposite h-he uhm want me to take a chance and uhm pursue this thing because he says it'll work out in my favor.......so yeah... I'm still a bit torn since there is another party involved and I don't know how they would react.'' I said blushing and fidgeting like a mad man almost hiding in my shirt out of embarresment

and he'd just nod putting down his empty bowl and turning towards me.

''and honestly I just feel like en idiot because I get so nervous about it.'' I mumbled and looked at him then looking away blushing and he'd just hum and scratch the back off his head like. 

''I-I had a similar meeting today as well...'' ''ah really?'' ''y-yeah but I uh was outed by my groupmates and I-I think that's why I was called in a-a-and m-m-maybe you t-t-too...'' he'd say stumbling over almost every word and we just look at each other 

blushing trying to figure out if the other is thinking the same thing until I spoke. 

''s-so I-I can assume that the other party w-would be onboard....?'' I'd ask shyly and he'd just nod and I'd relax before just deciding to go for it. 

''B-because I-I sort of...ummm for a long time i've ummm liked you.... but I uh wasn't s-sure h-how uhm y-you would f-feel s-so i-i haven’t been brave enough to say anything...'' 

I'd say while my heart beated so fast I could barely breathe being to scared to look at him. 

and I'd feel the couch shift and I'd look up 

and he'd sit 

ALOT MORE CLOSE  

and he just put a hand on my knee blushing.

 ''I-I've l-liked you for a l-long time too and n-nobodys known u-until my hyungs confronted me about it....

I-I turn into a fool around things like this b-but nobodys like you a-and y-yeah'' 

and I'd be such a  blushing mess squealing slightly and just faceplanting forward into his shoulder whining.

 ''why does this feel so awkward why am I so awkward oh god.'' and he'd just chuckle and move closer and sit me backup still blushing and 

we just end up looking at eachother for a while until he goes.

''Close your eyes...'' 

and I'd just blush and do so and 

I could feel him coming closer until 

he stopped right infront of me whispering

 ''Is this okay?'' 

and I'd just nodd slightly 

before he pressed his lips to mine 

and almost imidiatly my hands  went up to his chest resting my hands there relaxing into it ( now imagine the edit where it cuts right after he asked if it was okay)

and then it would cut to both of us in the kitchen ordering take out being a little bit more touchy and standing a bit closer together like there is a hand on my back or a hand on his arm lingering  and after we order 

I'd sit myself on the counter and we'd look at each other for a while just smiling at each other. 

''how long?'' He'd ask and I'd just chuckle shaking my head. ''welll uh...let's jsut say since before I debuted but uh my emotions really escalated after my debut the one time we met backstage of inkigayo we were just saying hi but my heart raced so fast....'' I said clutching my chest smiling to myself 

''what about you?'' I'd ask looking at him and he'd just smile and walk over to stand across from me. 

''since before that I uh I saw your group busking really close to your debut and they way to treated all of your fans and how sweet you were it just...I would've stayed for the enitre busking if not my hyungs dragged me away...'' 

he said and I just raised my eyebrows in confusing like ''you knew who I was?'' ''of course! Why wouldn't I?'' ''wuah... I thought I was a nobody in your world until recently... when my ceo told me about this collab I thought the universe was playing a prank on me.'' 

I said and then the food arrived so he went to go and get it and then we sat down on the floor in the livingroom and ate and continued talking almost like nothing had happened but with maybe a little more deeper subjects.

cut to after the song is released (this is after Shine everything else was before) and Kino and I get invited to ASC with our subunit and we start the recording and Jae is like 

''you two also have a realityshow coming out right now where the two of you live together how was it living together?''

 and me and Kino just give each other one look and start laughing. 

''it was really nice actually, when it's just two people you can get a lot more privacy then in our regular dorms.'' ''and since we're the same age it wasn't really that awkward.'' 

and jae's like this sin't the juicy stuff I wanted and goes 

''okay but there had to be somethings that really bothered you about each other?'' and we just looked at each other again.

''I mean no-'' ''well there is this one thing Kino does.'' ''WHAT!?'' '' it's not like a huge deal but he kept using my soap and like I'm fine with sharing but he doesn't tell me and thinks he will get away with it?'' 

and Kino just breaks apart and Jae is laughing like a mad man, 

''BUT IT SMELLS SO MUCH NICER but if we are going there she is REALLY quiet like REALLY QUIET I don't know how she does it but when she walks she walks so lightly I can't hear anything and then all of the sudden shes next to me I still havent gotten used to that.''

 ''what can I say I'm a ninja'' 

and the show goes on and we talk about the song and then jae asks us what our favourite song of each other is and Kino goes first and says like a b-side that he likes and I'm like 

''I REALLY like shine'' and jaes like oh why? and I'm like looking at Kino smiling going ''well it reminds me of something yet to be revealed in our show.'' 

and Kino's just chuckling and Jae is hella confused and then I go. 

''Also the chorepgraphy is really funny.''

and then we talked to our fans and  it was really funny doing the missions and answer the fans questions and since I knew the internet lingo that signs where really funny to me an then

when the show ended after it was Done Jae was like isn't Shine like about being foolishly in love? 

and I just pat his shoulder and go 

''watch the next episode'' 

which was going to be released that night 

so me and Kino went on with out day and we were trying to decide if we should watch it together or with our groups 

and we decided that we should watch it together to get a little less off the backlash from you guys since we still havent told them 

so that night we got to our little apartment and we started the episode and commented on the editing and then the clip where

Hui totally tricked Kino came up I just laughed and pushed him. 

''you're so easily fooled!'' and '

'I TOLD YOU I'M A FOOL WHEN IT COMES TO YOU!'' 

and we kept watching and he wrapped his arma round my shoulder so I could rest my head on his and when the scene were we confessed came up both of us inched closer and closer at the editing 

''wuah it's like a drama'' 

and then came the part where he leans forward

 and asks if it was okay 

and then it cuts to black 

and the episode is over 

and we just go into an outburst yelling. 

''YAH THEY CAN'T DO THAT!?'' 

''THIS IS THE WORST CLIFFHANGER IN HISTORY'' 

''I HATE THIS DRAMA IT'S THE WORST'' 

''it's our reality show.'' 

''OH RIGHT... I forgot that'' 

and then our phone would start going off with notfications from our members and other people Jae included who was yelling in caps 

and then the tweets started falling in and we had to turn off our phones so they would crash 

because of the notifications 

and we just looked at eachother for a while laughing  

before I wrapped my arms around his middle 

hugging him 

and he kissed my forehead smiling.

and that's it basically

[dilfhakyeon-moved]

yO i was abt to write to you abt the new modc ep (what's going on with the weird cuts at the beginning jcbjfbjb im crying) but i saw your post so!!!! tell me abt your dream bro i wanna hear abt it!!!!!! -✨

OH I HAVENT SEEN IT YET RIGHT I FORGOT IT CAME OUT TODAY!!! Let me watch it then we can talk abt it !!

And well my dream is pp long so bear w me 😔 i don't have the 'read more' function on mobile so i apologise in advance for everyone who comes across this !! I'll edit the 'read more' into it when I can 😊 ( i hav edited it hehehehe )

SO . actually there are several parts to this dream and I woke up between the first two parts but ... YEA.

At first I was home but a cat had gotten inside my house, I already had two cats ( my current cat and the one that will have died one year ago exactly tomorrow... yes five days after my birthday december is a cursed month for me. but if u wanna know abt him just search 'tchoupi' on my blog ) and I don't think my girl was okay w that new cat ? also new cat looked wonky sjhsjsh ? I wasn't sure abt its behaviour bc it seemed like it cld get irritated fast. In the end my mother told me to throw it out so I did against my will but when I saw it walk away... it had a missing leg.... I was like oh shit dude no come back... so I went and opened the front door and it came back running !!! I couldn't leave it like that w/o food if it already was incapacitated in a way. so that was my new cat. everything ends well ( I'm pp sure I forgot a part of that part but it's not the one I'm interested in )

SECOND PART... THE CÅSTLË. i was in a castle that was more medieval than renaissance styled or whatever the fuck i didnt study architecture but yes this. it had a courtyard with a fountain and that courtyard had a beautiful view on The Unknown ( aka fields and forests and stuff yknow just. The view ) but there were also bridges ( not the rock kind the "we use it in movies to make a character dramatically fall after the villain cut the rope" kind ) and little paths to go to The Unknown. there was a built-in church ( not a christian but i guess that was a smart choice given most attendees were fire emblem characters and they were definitely christians ) and also stables i guess ? but the front stables were empty and i didn't get to see the actual stables. the front stables had a pathway going around them ( there was a front stable on the left and on the right, with the courtyard being a little pushed back ? like if you left the end of the stable pathway you were already past the courtyard )

so now picture all ot this but suddenly the sky is super dark and everything is grim and gloomy. like a typical halloween movie. everything that was neat feels now worn out and the pathways are definitely scary, nobody wants to go there !

i was looking for my friends ( aka mercedes from fire emblem three houses ) but somehow couldn't find them, a fight broke out between ingrid and annette ( also fire emblem three houses ) and i don't like rich horse girls nor do i like racists so i was about to beat ingrid's ass. this big dude comes in and threatens me so i scold him and he and ingrid both go away. i win. i talk to more people but they're all acting weird except annette i guess. whatever weirdos i'm out

next i keep looking, but now i'm not alone - i'm not sure of whether it's a real presence or just a spirit until the end of this sequence where this boy tells me where to go and what to do to fix things a little, so i go into both stable pathways and end up being possessed twice ( demonic possession isn't as bad as they tell you i turned out fine ) so when the boy tells me where to go next i'm like "are we getting possessed a third time ?" he chuckles. ( i am gay so that was cute )

but we don't get any time to do that third thing ! we get out of the pathways and everyone is planning to go fight whatever is beyond The Unknown ! i look at the boy and awake me now pictures him as kraam from the stranded. cool i have a nice partner in crime i'm okay with that. the others leave, there's a lot of them but a second group is getting ready ! so kraam-but-not-quite grabs my arm firmly but like he doesn't hurt me or anything and we start going into The Unknown as well. im like hey wtf do we do now. and he tells me oh these two groups are going mad that couldn't be us let's go find the stray kids ( awake me now realises this is ~cringe~ but dream me was like whoa a solitary group of ppl who fight bigger evils ! BC YES THAT WAS WHAT SKZ WERE DOING IN THIS DREAM but i never met them ) so we can join forces w them and defeat these ppl. i look back. i see the second group from afar bc they have torches. im like wow this is like beauty and the beast.

something happens, idk what, but kraam starts running ! i'm a slow runner so i thought oh fuck not again but i ran after him anyway, the next bit is us running through a sort of jungle ( the sky is clear again ) and like its CRAZY i fucking loved that bit bc WOO ADVENTURE !! ( im a sagittarius )

then we slip between two trees' leaves and end up in a facility. we keep running bc if we stay there We Will Die. suddenly i am slowed down ( which leads me to believe before that he was holding my wrist but released my wrist when he slipped between the trees ) but he checks on me which i appreciate because that means he would rather die with me than survive without me, romance luv

his father ! the bastard. tries to kiss me in front of his mother. im like lmao dude thats disgusting die n go to catholic hell. i push him away and tell him off, he gets pissed but i cant go look for kraam bc his brothers r telling me abt how we're gonna go on a road trip. im like ? the world is abt to end tho ? but apparently my dream rly wanted a drama plot so fine.

his brothers have, allegedly, caught on to an alleged potential relationship between us. no im not gonna complain abt it im lonely and sad and gay so my dream fills in for me. theyre talking abt how theres not enough room for all of us in the van unless i sit on kraam for the trip but they ( specifically the one brother who oddly reminds me of dbk rain ) somehow make it into a sexual joke ? being me tho i didnt get it KSBSKDH... they were like talking abt legs ?? i remember it was abt how it wouldnt work with smth with four legs 'unless i could go with three' and like i dont even know what the hell that was supposed to mean we're talking abt a van not a horse ygwim ?

idk if i woke up after that but my brain did picture both me complaining to kraam abt his dad doing that and him getting quietly angry and just telling me to not come close to him again just in case hed try it again AND the beginning of the 'road trip' where i was indeed using kraam as a seat. and i was sleeping bc idk maybe i was tired from the running ! i hope my next dream is the continuation bc boy that was a whole drama episode

also i gave up and started calling him just kraam but it wasnt kraam ofc he just had kraams face from what i remember ! but he wasnt kraam at all

[icharchivist]

New session with A. and T. o/ this time from episode 92 to episode 105, we advanced a lot in the CA arc!

this time I took notes as they spoke so I have... Tons of stuff.

-A: “I’m scared to move on…. we’re at episode 91 and the arc already went to shit so bad i’m worried at how bad it’ll get”

-they forgot who kite was. they had to remember by saying “guitarist legolass”

-T: “The queen shouldn’t be proud of the King i mean it’s a fuckboi, look at that turtle on his head, it’s the shape for a a fuckboi”

-A: “Leol looks like a drummer in Kite’s band”

-A: “I wonder if it would have gone better with responsible adults” Me: “i think that’s why Leorio and Kurapika aren’t there. wait… maybe not Pika.” A: “i love Pika but he’s not what I’d call collected and responsible. Leorio tho...”   -T: “I’m sure Hisoka would have flirted with an ant if he could. or ate one. its like chicken”

-they say they have no pity for the queen ahah. They are WTF over the other baby.

-they got so sad at Gon and Killua crying

-T: “Why is there pipe on a strip tease” A: “there’s a cat a butterfly and a turtle trying to dominate the world and you question the choice of music?”

-A: “It gets so bad already and there’s still 30 episodes of that arc how bad can it gets…”

-A: “the only responsible adult of that arc is Killua and he’s neither an adult nor responsible” 

 -When Gon said he’d do anything for Palm after she said she wanted him to date her, T. spit out his drink and A. facepalmed in a pillow, both laughing “i cant deal with that kid anymore” 

 -A: “does Palm has any other ability aside of being creepy?” 

 -A: “the thing with Gon is that you never know if his ideas are genuis or terrible” T: “you especially dont know when he says “it’s a secret” if he knows what hes gonna do or if he doesnt” 

 -When Killua asks Gon about his dating past:  T. “that… became really gay suddenly” Me: “do you get why people say Killua is gay?” A: “Now yes.” 

 -A: “The presentator on tv has weird eyes…” T: “now she can see in 3D” 

 -A. at Palm and Gon’s date: “i relate to Killua… what a cringe…” 

 -T. at the date: “and let’s play my favorite game: what if we added hisoka to the situation?” A.: “im sure him and Palm would get along” 

 -they yelled at Killua remembering Illumi because of dissociation. they’re worried for him 

 -A., who loves classical ballets, told us that the Zoldyck’s theme is based on a romeo and juliet music 

 -A.: “When the zoldyck music plays, it always end up bad for the adversary…” T.: “It always end bad for everyone in that anime. except for Hisoka and Gon’s father. i dont even remember the name of that asshat.” 

 -After the date, as Killua and Gon shares Chcorobots, A: “Thats it i cant take it anymore i ship them. they are too cute i cant resist them” 

 -A, as Cheetu vs Morel and Knuckle starts: “this arc is such a mess i love it it goes so wrong” 

 -when gon was faced to Kite’s puppet , they started yelling about how no one was stopping him. when Gon started blaming himself, A. threw a hairtie to the screen in frustration. they are worrying for Gon now, feels like he’s losing it. they worry that the adults are using him. like they say “i dont care their reasoning, we’re talking about 12yo. they never saw what gon can do while angry he risked his life on a dodgeball game. it’s dangerous.” 

 -A: “dont tell me they will put rhe two unexperienced kids as a team…” 

 -They are overjoyed to see the Troupe again. A. wanted a showdown between the ants and the troupe. “at least i wont mind if there’s death on both side” 

 -They are disgusted by Pike and they dont get why Zazan is all dominatrix. 

 -“the goth team and the clear hair team” 

 -A: “i understand why you say Shalnark is probably linked to Kurapika, they have the same (lack of) survival instinct” 

 -T: “nice to have some anthropology exploration with that mummy guy" about Beleonov

 -A: “wait is Phinks’s condition really to only turn his wrist? he didnt think too hard about it, and Pika whos putting his life on the line like a moron….”

-A: “im sure kite’s nen was Ging’s idea. it’s a thing with Ging’s idea, it seems terrible and you dont even know if he would himself believe it’d work but it does” 

-Feitan against Zazan: “thats violent…” 

 -A: i dont know what to think of that arc anymore. i dont even know what to comment. 

 -about Kalluto: “it’s killua’s LITTLE BROTHER??? HOW OLD IS HE. 10??? WHY IS HE WITH THE TROUPE” 

 -“are Feitan and the Mummy in a contest of who is gonna blow up the biggest planet” 

 -*seeing the kimera* “is that nina” 

 -A when Phinks blushes when Shal and Feitan makes fun of him for looking for Chrollo: “do everyone has a crush on Chrollo holy fuck” 

 -T: “When it’s to the spiders to be in charge of lifting the weight of the arc….” A: well we wanted responsible adults, we got them” 

 -A. finds impressive how that deep ib the arc, the story is still coherent. the ants are all exploited and you dont feel lost in the substories. she finds it impressive  

-Me: “fun to have a geopolitic story in a furry arc” A: “i wonder what the next arcs will be. will there be a cooking arc” Me: “i mean, isnt it the cooking arc? “ A: *splilling her drink*”… you know what i dont say anything anymore” 

 -A:“… was the Queen on drugs when she created Shaiapouf?”

 -A: “i think i hate (pitou) more than hisoka…. i mean hisoka, you get used to him. she…. is too unsettling and sh’es too cute it makes me uncomfortable” T: “well i mean… hisoka is a p/edophile…”  A: “i mean true but at least you can predict hidoka, she replies to orders. you can discuss with Hisoka, not with her. Like how Pika talked with him” Me: “well then with Pika it was all on Hisoka’s intend...” T: “well you can discuss with him if you’re a teen” A: “Okay true but you can have an ally with hisoka at times. with Pitou, nah” 

 -T “now i thought hisoka was coming”  Me:“if he was in this arc he would have had the boner of the century” T: “thanks Chloé” 

 -when Gon trusted Meleoron right away “what the fuck with that kid. me too Meleoron” 

 -when Ikalgo appeared in that first corpse and started singing, T started laughing and loving him and almost spilled his drink, and A. burried her face in a pillow saying “i dont even know what to say anymore…” 

 -as Killua catches ikalgo: A-: i love this kid T: me i love this octopus omg 

 -as Ikalgo says he wanted to be a squid: A: “how can it be that fun, that wtf and that tragic at once?” 

 -T: i really love that octopus A: i really love that kid 

 -T is determinates and really really love the octopus :’) 

 -the darts game started and A . started to pull very worried faces 

 -When Gon says he will kill Meleoron if he betrays him, A:“this kid really scares me…. he always scared me.”

-they’re cheering as Killua won against the orsos bros and faked his death 

 -turns out T. plays darts too so as Killua was explaining how he survived, he kept figuring how it made sense 

 -they were tense as Killua almost died and they both left out a gasp as Killua apologized about not being of use for gon 

 -they adore Ikalgo, both of them and now they worry he’ll die 

 -A. keeps reading Meleoron as Melanchon, a french politician she doesnt like. we compared that politician to Leol 

 -A. saw Komugi and gasped because “oh no i saw her on your blog”. I’ve been yelling at her to stop looking at my blog and her reaction was “but I’d have to stop using tumblr!”. rood. 

 -T.’s mother walked in after a scene with Meleoron and with the King and she started laughing, not understanding what was going on, just surprised by the designs. she finds the plot about the games to be fun ahah 

 -Morel just told Cheetu he lost because hes an idiot and they both applauded 

-at the King trying to destabilize Komugi and failing T: “well it’s turning against him hes getting destabilized” A: “she controls him so much”

 -When the King ripped his own arm, they both gasped and A. froze and yelled “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED” 

 -A: “the king is acting reckless and hurts himself… sounds so much like Gon.”  

-A loves how Komugi is in total control of the King ahah 

 -Me at the king's arm being ripped: "hxh and the constant abuse of arms". A. "ye i saw your posts about it. im still baffled by how much of them belongs to Gon"

For the most part, they seemed to like it! A. Kept repeating it was such a mess and she loved how much of a mess it was. It was getting worse and worse and they are seriously getting worried about the situation at hand. 

They are really, really involved in the arc and I’m so glad. For a lot of people I dragged in hxh (and.. me included to some extend) the ca arc was the hardest to get into, and I’m really glad they’re enjoying it that much.

They are looking forward for more and are impressed to have gone this far in the serie.

Despite the fact we skip opening/ending/previews (not my own will, they really don’t wanna see them dkjfhd shame for the previews but oh well) they keep singing the opening theme too. That’s fun :’D

So ye, a good session, a ton of fun, they liked it :D

See you all in another session o/

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: are you done w him yet cos i have a question like Rio: Sorry Rio: Fire away Indie: serious how do i make it that good Indie: without meshing mckenna Rio: Honestly? You just find out with experience, what you do and don't like, then you have to ask for that Rio: then you ask them what they like and if they know you can do it Rio: most lads your age haven't got a clue but are easily pleased so Indie: 😒💔😒💔 Indie: not what I was hoping youd hit me w Indie: I dont have experience & he does Rio: Soz, if this was Cosmo I'd give you some weird ass tips involving household items but I ain't gonna do you like that Rio: You can get experience with yourself Indie: thats such a ma answer 😂 Rio: It's true tho babe 😂 Rio: Why, didn't you like it? Indie: i was shook i still am Rio: 'Course you were Rio: It's a big deal Indie: not too any other heads in these endz just this bitch here being cringe bout it Rio: Nah, people always lie about that shit Rio: whether it's under or over hyping Indie: we got both cos im amp and hes not bothered is that just how its destined or Rio: How you know that for sure? Indie: 👀 & 👂 Rio: There's so many answers that ain't that still though Rio: 'less I'm missing something Rio: he could be playing it cool 'cos he's as hyped, for example Rio: or just fucking hungover 'cos you know, ain't we all a bit Indie: nah cos last night isnt the only Rio: What you mean? Indie: since i gave him everything now he dont want it Indie: thats how it goes Indie: talking at new ones and bout his olds and how they be like im not there Rio: What a prick Rio: That's not on Indie: cos he dont wanna roll w no tourist which is how i am to this Rio: Nah, don't get it twisted, he don't wanna roll, period Rio: playing a numbers game like a typical teenage boy who's spent too much time alone in his room 🎮👌🍆 Rio: this isn't anything you did or didn't do, fuck that noise Indie: yeah cos i made the chase sick but then couldnt come through how he needed beyond that Indie: just school me and then Rio: Babe Rio: If he don't fuck with loyalty then he don't, that's on him not you Rio: doesn't mean you weren't good and even if you weren't, fuck getting better for a wasteman who ain't trying for you how you need it Indie: its what drew reckons too it aint just me chatting Indie: help me step my game up thats how you do Indie: he was with his previous for time i can make me stay for me too like Rio: What does he know, like Rio: I mean I can show you some things, yeah, but you gotta feel it and feel yourself, you know Indie: hes a lad & he knows the game, how they think & do idk he was on it with what he was saying i felt it Rio: You wanna get on a lad like your Dad Rio: they ain't all the same Indie: cos you landed mckenna & you outta that madness Indie: theyre the same for me Rio: I ain't saying a lot of 'em aren't shit, but like Rio: what about lads like your mates, they're all alright Rio: it ain't one extreme or the other Indie: to roll with if i was trying to link em theyd doing it exactly Indie: rudeboys my age want they want & get it how they do Rio: alright but idc 'bout them Rio: what do YOU want, Inds? Indie: I want him to feel for me how i do for him Indie: like he can do anything to me and wants to Rio: You reckon boys your age get it how they do Rio: so do like them Rio: how'd a fuckboy get your attention? Indie: it aint gonna go that way Indie: he scares me Indie: theres no power in it for me Rio: What scares you about it? Indie: im fallin all the time Indie: its deep and its heavy and its a total madness Rio: Oh baby Rio: If I had the answer to that shit, I'd be selling it for the 💸 and good of us all Indie: he makes me feel owned not like 💍 but 🤡 Indie: i cant do for him anything Indie: boys dont play me i play them 'cept now Rio: That is scary, no avoiding it Rio: Best you can do is front the bad bitch still, even when you ain't feeling it Indie: id let him put a baby in me when were olders and living that and he cant turn from edie for me Indie: what is that gonna be Indie: im just like my ma arent I Rio: Don't say it like a bad thing, your Ma was awesome Indie: nah Rio: She was though Indie: your ma can front it cos she got love for her Indie: if she was she'd be here Rio: nah, she don't get to be reduced to just how she died when her life was more than that Indie: she let him run her & i was never trying to be that but this is me younger and letting a boy play me Rio: You aren't that Rio: and I won't let that play out like that Indie: im over having my own back innit i wanted him to carry Rio: ain't a crime Rio: you got so many of us though, even if a boy does you dirty Rio: you ain't alone Indie: i feel it today Rio: I'm sorry Rio: Do you want to go somewhere with me Rio: I can get rid of Buster but I can't hang with Drew all day getting high, that's all Indie: idc bout mckenna but I want Drew to go Indie: theres a vibe Rio: We'll get rid of him Rio: or duck out home, he can sit here himself if he likes Indie: do you feel it or am i that faded on this 🚬 Rio: Nah, I do Rio: sure we didn't help, sorry again Indie: it's chill Indie: i would if i could Rio: gimme a sec to get decent and we'll bounce Indie: has he hated mckenna proper since the start or is it just since you two started riding each other? Rio: idk what else his reasoning would be tbh Rio: say what you like, he ain't that bad Indie: but he aint your hot half bro Indie: makes no sense Indie: you two can link up if you want Rio: you'd have to ask him, babe, but i wouldn't bother Rio: taking the moral highground on this one, i guess, idc Indie: is caleb home? he needs to cook for me cos mckenna is lax at providing Indie: that breakfast was dred Rio: i'll bell ahead and see if not we'll swing by the restaurant init Rio: did he try and make you eat something healthy? 😂 Indie: safe Indie: shouldve known not to trust a posh boy innit Indie: sneaky greens up in everything like Rio: gotta get those vitamins babe Rio: how cute Indie: youre so whipped for him i cant be listening to none of your words 😂 Rio: Shh 😜 Indie: tell yourself Indie: but nah cos its well too late Indie: 👀 & 👂 man Rio: Erm you keep them 👀 down, I know that door was closed Indie: you two are so amp for each other you aint always keepin it behind em Rio: I know, but it's hard 😩😂 Rio: Honestly, the fact only you and Drew know has me worried for this fam and their senses, like Indie: 😉😉 hes hard is how you mean Indie: standard Indie: might be a tourist still but i aint bait Rio: Don't be nasty 😏 Indie: tell him Indie: that boy so horny for you its a pure madness Rio: you been knew i'm peng gurl come on Indie: making me shook about myself Indie: its rude Rio: 💔 Rio: you ain't gotta be like me Indie: gurl please im not gonna seckle for less than Indie: youre goals Indie: 🔥🔥🔥 Rio: you're a babe Rio: need you about, only one Indie, like Rio: Mum enough for you? Indie: 😂 Indie: does that make mckenna my new daddy 😉 Rio: Watch it 😉 Indie: ✌ thats a yeah if i heard one ever Indie: ill get his take on my 🍒💔 Indie: but not over food like Rio: It's a gonna be a bit weird for us all if we both call him that but not trying to give you incentive biatch 😜 Rio: probably not in front of my actual da either, unless you want his input too Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: I aint trying to call nobody that Rio: Fair Rio: Can whack it out when you wanna throw subtle shade Indie: innit Indie: marko can dash me fore that word comes outta my mouth Rio: Deffo, you don't need to be on that hype Indie: he called me baby the other day boy please im grown Indie: stop playing Rio: 😂 Rio: See, boy got no clue Indie: him on that shelta and me on my 🍀 aint no wonder we got crossed wires bitch Rio: Sometimes it's better when you ain't know what they 🗣 Rio: Done that, or pretended I ain't fluent like 👋 Indie: innit tho Indie: me on your fams hype like im from there too sometimes Rio: Multilingual and ready to mingle 💃 Indie: bit late to switch that with him but Rio: You know, babe Rio: how you think I got stuck with him 🙄 nightmare, like Indie: fix my face? i gotta be fresh for all the 📷 imma lure this boy back w Indie: a bitch knows how to take a nude least Rio: 'Course Rio: but you best not be putting your face in no nudes Rio: you need denialabilty for so many reasons, main one being its technically CP Indie: no shit my face is for all the snaps to show what a sick time im having Indie: not missing him at all Indie: the nudes are for when he remembers hes missing me Rio: That's allowed then Rio: 👍 Rio: Proceed Indie: i gotta say if tho cos hes still giving me the most air ever Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: You're gonna fake it so hard you'll actually get there, trust Indie: last nite was so bangin til she fucked it up for me Rio: I know, babe Indie: do you reckon he wouldve Indie: with her Rio: Nah Rio: I mean, idk the lad and he sounds like a bit of a twat but Rio: sure he ain't gonna do you like that Indie: shes got ways tho Rio: She just ain't afraid of anything Rio: it works in her favour sometimes, other times it don't Indie: im not scared of no thing either Rio: 'Course Rio: but you know Rio: Edie not in a good way Indie: yeah Indie: on the subject drew wont go Indie: aint about leaving him here around all our shit but not trying to stay Indie: reckons he needs to chat at you Rio: Right Rio: I'm coming 🙄 ffs man Indie: is mckenna coming home w us? Rio: Up to you, babe Indie: it aint vexing or hyping me either way Indie: if he wants to be schooled for what proper food is Rio: 😂 he's swearing down it was Nance's fault but idk Rio: either way, we got a date so I gotta kick Drew to the curb Indie: standard she does eat how a 🐰 do Indie: he aint done me dirty fore so daddy can have another shot at winning me Rio: I'll let him know, in roughly those words 😏 Indie: tell the boy he gotta get in my snaps 👌 Indie: make me 👑💖 Rio: Gurl, it's literally still a sore subject but we will brawl s2g 😂 Indie: jam mama Indie: not trying to co-ord these bruises Rio: 😘 Rio: Stay 'way from him fr then you get me 👀 Indie: he's just a peng piece of staging Indie: not trying to ride it Rio: s'all 💕 up in here Rio: will be when we've 👋 anyway Indie: i wanna get done again now im 🍒 popped but he can chill on it Indie: not my speed Indie: and I'm too 😍😍😍 Rio: You a fool Rio: but I love ya Indie: you've been chatting at the old man for long Indie: come through w you Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 🙄 no need to tell me, he's in a chatting mood Rio: aight Rio: coming