#like gahhhhhhh I hate you brain!!!!! and then at the same time I’m sat here wondering like am I being lazy and making this up is this some
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I miss having money I do not miss working do you see the problem here
#the last like official real scheduled job I had was at a printer place in an office store that had these OLDDDDD SLOWWW computers at the#register but they would have the manager talk to me about not pushing the printer department reward program and getting sign ups like what a#hellscape to live in truly it’s awful. I like doordashing but I can’t find the fucking drive to get out of my house and interact with#strangers even in a quick like fast food setting like thinking about it makes me feel so bad and guilty like I should be doing way more and#it still feels so scary like what the hell !!!! I hate you making friends in a town then stop being friends with them and now you’re scared#to leave the house cause you might see them or someone who reminds you of them or a reminder of them or a trigger about them#like gahhhhhhh I hate you brain!!!!! and then at the same time I’m sat here wondering like am I being lazy and making this up is this some#excuse to not get my shit together am I just crumbling bc it’s familiar or am I crumbling bc this is a somewhat reasonable reaction to the#shit in my brain like blahhhh idk I don’t have words im just high before bed writing train of thought
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