#like idk maybe im just way too sensitive since tiktok queers are just so damn hateful

[softhaus]

I just saw a tiktok about women who are only attracted to mascs and like...... Its really kinda frustrating me and I can't tell if I'm just reading way too far into it and seeing things that aren't there. I don't think the person has the intention to offend which is why I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that I'm the stupid sensitive one but I don't know.....

Like to paraphrase the tiktok is about this person who is saying that they think some wlw (they specifically said wlw) aren't actually into women they just want men. The reasoning for this outcome they came to was because of their personal experience of when they presented more masc in the dating scene. They stated girls would get the ick from them displaying any sort of girlyness after thinking they were masc. They also said "how can u say u like girls when u don't like the girly side of girls..."

And if I'm being forreal like I get the irritation especially if u don't identify as butch and ur just in general androgynous or masc in appearance and then being held to an expectation that ur butch (or even stone butch) and I get that it's upsetting when someone changes their mind about you once you get more comfortable with showing yourself past first impressions but like...... They have the right to not be attracted to what they aren't attracted to 😭 it doesn't suddenly mean they aren't wlw and idk the whole argument of like u like girls therefore u have to like the gender norm traits/appearances that are expected of girls to actually truly be wlw..... It feels somewhat gender essentialist in a strange queer way??? I can't explain it but like this is why "my gender is lesbian and I'm attracted to other lesbians who's gender is lesbian" makes sense to me cause it doesn't define us into boxes of "girl" and whether there is an expectation that "girl" is girly.... I really can't explain it but I hope this makes sense.

Another lowkey thing is I can't tell what they mean by girly cause that's so broad like do u mean u wore dresses and presented more feminine or did you have a trait that those girls associated with a gender? Like be more specific because those are two different scenarios imo (example like sewing or gardening or being soft spoken is not a girly trait/hobby it's a thing that shouldn't be gendered and if someone breaks up with u over a trait/hobby/interest they deem as girly and not masc then that's their own issue but if they're attracted to butches and then you show up in makeup and a dress they probably aren't gonna be into you and like that's okay?? It doesn't suddenly make them not wlw)

Idk just a strange tiktok all around and the comments are just full of what you would expect

This part is also just 100% speculation and assumpative but I feel like they wanted to say lesbian but changed it to wlw cause it's more broad and way less offensive to say "some women just want men with pretty faces" then to say that some lesbians want men. Idk.... It's just when u say wlw know that that's including femme4butch femmes and they're exactly the ppl u are criticizing here and exactly the ppl you are claiming to "actually want men"

Makes me feel like they'd claim I wasn't a lesbian if I told them I liked when dykes have facial stubble :/ something that I personally don't see as gendered but a lot of ppl do

I'm definitely open to hearing other opinions on this!! like maybe I'm being too sensitive about it