#like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind!

[gifti3]

Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW

[bunnyblooms]

OKAY FUCKER ALL THE QUESTIONS FROM THAT ASK MEME THE LGBT ONE

1. Identity and pronouns.

I'm agenderfluid and they/them pronouns. My sexuality is aroflux and asexual.

2. How did you discover your sexuality?

Pretty much at 14 was like "idk i don't relate to everyone else i don't find celebrities hot or sex remotely something i want. If i could reproduce without sex i would. Oh. I'll just call myself asexual, like a sponge!" (Which asexual is incidentally what the creators of Spongebob were going for, fun facts. Spongebob is ace rights.)

3. Have you experienced being misgendered? How do you overcome it?

Mmmm I am constantly misgendered bc I'm nonbinary and live in a binary society and the way I compartmentalize it is basically just dressing how I want and not making an attempt to pass as anything tbh. The only time I feel misgendered is when someone knows my pronouns and doesn't use them anymore tbh. So basically. Letting go of how I want to be perceived helped. I will say tho, I refuse to come out to my dad bc he won't respect it and it'll be more painful hearing him misgender me knowing how I identify, but. That's certainly a privilege I have since I'm not transitioning. (ATM at least.)

4. Who was the first person you told? How did they react?

I technically didn't come out as ace. My ex-best friend knew bc I talked about it, but neither of us knew it was an identity. So the transition upon finding the label was virtually nonexistent and all of my friends were LGBTQ as well so it wasn't stressful or shocking. It helps that around the time I discovered the label I'd met two friends who were ace and felt the same way I did. My experience with my asexuality is definitely the model that should be the norm with the community and what we as a society should aim for.

As for my gender I'd made comments in the past that I wished I could just be genderless and it really kind of sat with me when my ex-best friend came out as trans bc I was like "Oh? You don't have to be the gender you are at birth?" Belial from Angel Sanctuary was a character that resonated with me at the time, and this was right around the time I made my ace friends. It wasn't until a year later that I discovered the nb community and one friend who was genderfluid that I decided to start trying different pronouns. And basically I came out as questioning and transitioned to nb without a formal declaration, which I also feel should be the goal for society.

I was at a con with my best friend at the time who was trans and he'd come out with my now ex-best friend while they were dating. And I was really anxious bc I felt like ppl would assume I was a transtrender and shit, and my friend said something about gender and I kind of awkwadly implied I might not identify as female and he was really great about it! He was like "If you wanna talk about it or try different pronouns you can." :D

5. Describe what it was like coming out.

I pretty much did this im question 4 hehehe.

6. If you're out, how did ppl react?

I'm not out to family, that I know of. They found my facebook which has my identity listed in my about, so I'm in limbo with them where none of us talk about it so idk if they register it as an LGBTQ thing or not.

My friends were all supportive! It helps that I have like no cishet friends lmao.

I also came out to my class on TDOV two years ago for a project where we step outside our comfort zone. I'm luckily in the social work program which has social justive built into the tenants of the profession so it was pretty positive! People still misgendered me after and were more concerned with "but i'm scared of ppl getting angry at me what should i do to talk about this with them" which. 9__9 Not surprising. But there was a mom whose kid and her kid's partner are both genderfluid and bigender so it was a good experience and I had an ally which made me comfortable in sharing it in the first place.

7. What is one question you hate ppl asking about your sexuality?

Inevitably when I say I'm ace, non-aces assume I have no interest in dating which. Way to conflate being aroace with ace and ignore that there are aros and aces who want relationships. That's my biggest pet peeve.

8. Describe the style of clothing you often wear.

I wear flannels and ripped jeans or shorts mainly. I basically dress like a butch lesbian. I'll wear dresses and stuff but I do not like dressing femme and prefer to offset softer things with hard things. Like. When I wear dresses I have to wear clunky combat boots with them or have short hair or something.

9. Who are your favorite LGBTQ+ ships?

Hmmm. Depends if you mean canon or not. Canon, it's probably FigAyda from D20 and Catradora from She-ra. Shion/Nezumi from No.6 is also one of my faves. There's also Chie and Ai from Virgin's Empire. Blupjeans from The Adventure Zone and JonMartin from The Magnus Archives.

As for Not Confirmed ships, I like Flick/CJ from Animal Crossing, Tsuna/Enma from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, uhhh. Reigisa from Free!, Kanji/Naoto from Persona and Chihiro/whatever the fuck his name is Mondo? Or the other guy I forget, from Danganronpa. Also RenLaw, RenStrade, and VinceLaw+VinceFarz from BTD.

(I am including straight relationships involving trans ppl obv.)

10. What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?

I hate how I look with make up it makes me dysphoric. But to me makeup is a good expressive outlet and bomb as hell, so when I do wanna wear makeup, I prefer wearing eyeliner and lipstick (esp in black or blue or green or purple) and glitter.

11. Do you experience dysphoria? How does it affect you?

I experience what I refer to as Silhouette Dysphoria a lot. I experience chest dysphoria but a lot of times it's less about me having them at all and me not liking how I look with them. The same goes for my hips and overall shape. Hence silhouette. I also experience genital dysphoria to a lesser degree, and when I do it's less hating my genitals bc they should be different but more just having any at all. Luckily I was born with internal genitalia so I don't have to think about it as much. Social dysphoria I also experience, but I've talked about that already.

How I deal with it is binding and stuff.

12. What is the stupidest thing you've heard said about the LGBTQ+ community?

Hmm. The ppl who genuinely argue that accepting the community means you'll be forced to accept pedophilia or beastiality. Like. Lmao no?

13. Favorite thing about the community?

I just love how great it feels to be in it tbh. It can be so positive and loving and just genuinely make you feel good about yourself.

14. Least favorite thing about the community?

Exclusionists.

15. Have you ever been to your city's pride event?

No, but I went to Pride in Des Moines!!! IT WAS GREAT!

16. Favorite LGBTQ+ celebrity?

I don't really follow celebrities, but probably Ian McEllen and Tim Gunn.

17. Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?

I was in a relationship for a while with a friend of mine and it was wonderful tbh. We met in a server and started talkng more, and started out as qpps then became partners and like we broke up, but I still enjoyed the experience and wouldn't go back in time and stop it from happening. My other qpp tho. That's something I would do lmao.

I also have a bf but that's a secret~

18. Favorite LGBTQ+ book.

I haven't read a lot of books, so I guess I have to say The Raven Cycle bc that's the only one I remember reading.

19. Have you ever faced discrimination?

Mmmm the only time I have experienced direct discrimination I was giving a friend valentines chocolate in high school and some kid called me a d*ke when i walked past him.

The other stuff is like. My therapist telling me to check for a hormone imbalance when I said I was asexual.

20. Favorite LGBTQ+ movie/show?

She-ra, "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything", The Runaways (the movie not the show), No. 6.

21. Favorite LGBTQ+ bloggers?

I don't have any lmao.

22. Which slur do you want to reclaim?

Queer, bc it's already been reclaimed and it fits me.

23. Have you ever gone to a gay bar or drag show? How was it?

Nope. Never, but it'd be fun!!

24. How do you idrntify your gender?

Already answered this lol.

25. Interested in having kids?

Nope. I'd be too scared of screwing them up.

26. What identity service would you give your younger self?

I wish I'd known there was an ace community before I was older tbh. So that, probably.

27. What do you think of gender roles in relationships?

I personally like playing a feminine role, but I also think gender roles are unecessary, so like. As long as I'm an equal I don't care what role I play lmao. If you wanna treat me like the handmaiden, as long as you're not doing it bc you see me as a woman I don't care.

28. Anything else you wanna share about your gender?

Nah. Just. I don't bother trying to pin it down anymore bc the more I analyze it the less I understand it.

29. Something you wish ppl knew about being LGBTQ+?

Hmmmm not really. It's fun outside of the systemic oppression?

30. Why are you proud to be LGBTQ+?

For me it's less about pride in being LGBTQ+ and more being proud to express myself authentically. 🤷

[rebeccacclarke-blog]

Y1 / S1 / Week 3: Interview Practice

Interview Questions: 

Have you been to many festival / events?

Please Tell me more about your least favourite experiences…? Or something you saw happening?

What were you thinking in those moments…?

How did that make you feel…?

What did you do about that…?

Have you ever had items stolen or damaged at an event?

How did this make you feel?

Did you make any changes or take action because of this?

Do you feel that people at events respect your belongs and self…?

Do you feel safe in mosh pits?

Have you had any bad experiences in mosh pits? 

How often do you drink?

Do you feel pressured…?

How does this make you feel…? 

Who pressures you usually…? 

Do you ever have any regrets from drinking…?

Have these regrets made you change your behaviours…?

Has drinking impacted your everyday life, if so how?

Has drinking ever led you to a situation where you were not in control…?

Please explain, how did you feel?

How do you define sexual assaulted?

Have you ever been sexually assaulted?  

How did this make you feel?

Did you do anything about it, if so what?

Have you ever felt vulnerable in a social situation?

Please explain…?

What do you think could make an event better…?

First interview:

Gender / age?

24, female

Have you been to many festival / events?

Only been to one last new years, I went to Northern Bass

We would like to hear about your experiences…?

Really good experience, one of my favourite new years, really good time

Please Tell me more about your least favourite experiences…? Or something you saw happening?

Security is daunting a little bit, it completely depends on what security guard you get, they either don’t care or they are a bit too intimidating, your not the police.

What were you thinking in those moments…?

Don't care or too intimidation, calm down bro, swat team

How did that make you feel…?

On edge

What did you do about that…?

Nothing

Have you ever had items stolen or damaged at an event?

Not me personally

Friends- goods stolen

How did this make you feel?

He was pissed off

Did you make any changes or take action because of this?

No actions

Do you feel that people at events respect your belongs and self…?

No- everyone is selfish and notice this at festivals, no one gives a shit while under influence, not very hard to break down this barrier, donate tentpegs, crowd is just ppl not real, but when you talk to them its more human

Do you feel safe in mosh pits?

Yes reasonably

Do you like being in mosh pits?

Yes

Have you had any bad experiences in mosh pits?

Not bad bad, its overwhelming cause im 5.3, claustrophobic

How often do you drink?

On average, 1 time a week

Do you feel pressured…?

Not pressured, its encouraged, works at bar

How does this make you feel…?

Most of time strong enough, but im susceptible with peer pressure

Who pressures you usually…?

Friends

Do you ever have any regrets from drinking…?

Yes. definitely, why did I post on snapchat

Have these regrets made you change your behaviours…?

Grown slowly as i've grown up, not a result of reflecting on regrets

Has drinking impacted your everyday life, if so how?

Yeah, but positively, makes things easier, making mates, social is a plus espech when anxious

Has drinking ever led you to a situation where you were not in control…? Please explain, how did you feel?

Definitely, stupid, take it too far

How do you define sexual assaulted?

Any sexual advance without consent

Have you ever been sexually assaulted?  

yes

How did this make you feel?

Pissed and mad every time

Did you do anything about it, if so what?

No- hit people, not legally tho, yelled and reacted

Have you ever felt vulnerable in a social situation?

Yes

Please explain…?

In any situ where you don’t have anyone to rely on, who’s close, unfamiliar is most vulnerable

What do you think could make an event better…?

Drug testing- offering safe way to make sure drugs safe, but then it just promotes it, even preventing mad bad trips, correct dosage

Second Interview:

Gender / age?

Female, 20 years

Have you been to many festival/events?

Concert and events can’t even count, but festivals RnV twice, Bay Dreams once and Laneway.

We would like to hear about your experiences…?

Pretty good, the three day events it gets a but hectic at the end, even Bay Dreams which is a one day events, Hectic as in dirty and everyone is dead not literally but hungover and come downs and stuff.

Please Tell me more about your least favourite experiences…?

My personal experience of what I disliked the most was when you lose your friends or have to find your friends, it's such a struggle.

When I lose them I try text them and that usually doesn't send, and you and on other person just sit there, like I’m not usually by myself, just like me and my boyfriend and we are just chilling, never been alone usually always been with at least one person, but sometimes have gone to the toilet by myself or run off to meet up with someone else.

What were you thinking in those moments…?

In those moments when I was by yourself I was just thinking where are my friends, just trying to find someone because I hate being by myself.

How did that make you feel…?

I feel anxious when I am by myself.

What did you do about that…?

I found my friends.

Have you ever had items stolen or damaged at an event?

Not really, just damaged because I stood on it, so it was my own fault.

How did this make you feel?

...did not apply

Did you make any changes or take action because of this?

...did not apply

Do you feel that people at events respect your belongs and self…?

...did not apply

Do you feel safe in mosh pits?

Yes I do, but I know one of my friends, she hates them. With friends I feel safe and myself in mosh pits I would feel a bit eugh, but also if there is someone kinda grotty in the mosh pits I like like get out of her.

Why Do you like being in mosh pits?

Generally its a good vibe and everybody is there for the same reason, and everyone wants to have fun, so I like them and just having a dance.

Have you had any bad experiences in mosh pits?

I usually try stay out of it but there are people that are aggressive and will push and then kinda, if you say anything and if they get angry they will almost start a fight but I would never let it get that far, I’m not that type of person.

Have you ever seen anything bad things, like fights in mosh pits?

Yes, I’ve seen chicks fighting and pulling each others hair and it got quite intense.

How often do you drink?

Weekends only, but not every weekend, like when uni gets more intense lees socialising and less drinking every second or third weekend.

How much do you usually drink in one night?

I binge, I am a lightweight, to get drunk it would be like 5.

Do you feel pressured…?

No, I don’t think so, If I don’t really feel like it I won’t, or I will just have one or two and be like nah that's alright.

How does this make you feel…?

...did not apply

Who pressures you usually…?

...did not apply

Do you ever have any regrets from drinking…?

I honestly don’t, when your drunk your excuse is that your drunk, my regret would be when I am sober and I have done something stupid and it's like you can only blame your stupid self.

Have these regrets made you change your behaviours…?

...did not apply

Has drinking impacted your everyday life, if so how?

Yea, being hungover and if I have work the next day, gotta think about the consequences.

Has drinking ever led you to a situation where you were not in control…? Please explain, how did you feel?

I don’t think so, I haven’t really ever gotten blackout drunk, like I have never forgotten anything, never gotten that far, it would take alot and I just don't get like that, always felt in control even if technically I wasn’t I have always thought I was.

How do you define sexual assaulted?

Anything unwanted, any advance that there was no consent for.

Have you ever been sexually assaulted?  

Yes

How did this make you feel?

Just scared, thought it was my fault, you think about what you have done to bring it on yourself/ cause it to happen?

Did you do anything about it, if so what?

No

Have you ever felt vulnerable in a social situation?

Yes

Please explain…?

Vulnerable in social situations is like everyday, coming into uni, walking into the classroom, coming in late.

What do you think could make any event better…?

They often have stuff already set up and I either don’t pay attention to it, can’t think of anything because I feel like they try do as much as they can generally and then its whether people want to use it or not, with helplines and things, Laneway had their own helpline number you could call if you needed.