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suituuup · 3 years

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pieces - chapter eight

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

Chapter seven was published yesterday, in case you missed it! I was too lazy to make a tumblr post.

The term rollercoaster didn’t seem strong enough to describe the last six weeks of Chloe’s life.

Seeing Beca again. Leaving Marco. Getting clean. Finding out she was pregnant.

She felt like she needed to stop and take a minute to remind herself to breathe, but the weight pressing on her chest prevented her from sucking enough oxygen into her lungs.

“You’re…” Beca blinked twice in slow succession. “...pregnant. With a baby.” She grimaced in the next beat, releasing a breath. “Sorry, I-- I wasn’t expecting that.”

Chloe couldn't blame her for being shocked. She swallowed thickly and cleared the lump from her throat. “I made an appointment for an abortion. Tomorrow.”

Tears sprang up into her eyes before she could stop them, and she lifted a hand to her mouth to muffle the sob itching to come out.

“I’m sorry,” she croaked out, shaking her head.

“Chlo…” Beca murmured, setting a hand over Chloe’s back and the other one on Chloe’s. “You don’t need to apologize. What you’re going through is incredibly hard, and… if an abortion is what you feel is the best option, then that’s what you should do.”

Chloe had always wanted to have kids one day, but this was the worst possible timing. She didn’t have a place to raise that baby, or a job, not to mention that she was a recovering addict.

She nodded along to Beca’s words, as though attempting to convince herself further.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Beca asked. “To the appointment?”

Chloe hesitated. “I don’t want you to miss work because of me.”

“You’re more important than work,” Beca argued softly as her thumb stroked Chloe’s knuckles back and forth. “And I don’t think you should be doing this on your own, you know? But I don’t want to overstep either, so it’s completely up to you.”

Chloe sniffled, reaching up to wipe her tears away. “I… I think I’d like it if you could be there.”

“Done,” Beca instantly said, nodding firmly. She cleared her throat following a few beats of silence. “So um, is there anything you should do for your recovery? Now that you’re out of rehab, I mean.”

“The therapist there recommended one in the city, I need to call and book an appointment. I’m going to my first NA meeting in two days. Otherwise, I’ve been told having a routine could really help? Like go for a morning walk, do some yoga, cook, clean… that sort of stuff. But all I want to do right now is crash for a few hours.”

Beca nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Let me know if I can do anything to make things easier on you, okay?”

Chloe managed a small smile despite how heavy her heart felt. “I’m already so grateful for what you’re doing for me, Bec.”

“It’s what friends do. Help each other out.”

Chloe ended up sleeping for four hours straight. She had never felt so exhausted in her life, and she guessed it was a mix of the physical and emotional toll of pregnancy and rehab finally hitting her. She didn’t eat much for dinner and mostly pushed her food around in her plate, knowing most of it would come back up as it had for the last few days.

She and Beca got to the clinic ten minutes before Chloe’s appointment that next morning, and after filling out the paperwork, they were led into an exam room, where Chloe was asked to change into a paper gown. She sat down on the edge of the bed once she was changed, her eyes sweeping over the many baby pictures lining the wall.

Her attention shifted to the door when it opened, a middle-aged woman stepping inside.

“Hello, Chloe,” she greeted with a soft, reassuring smile. “I’m Dr. Harris.”

“Hi,” Chloe returned quietly. “This is my friend Beca.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Dr. Harris said as she approached. “I was told you’re here to terminate your pregnancy?”

“I-- yes.”

“Okay. As one of the nurses probably told you over the phone, I need to check how far along you are first so we can figure out if a procedure is required,” she explained, setting her chart down and snapping on a pair of gloves. “When was your last period?”

“I-- I’m not sure.”

She used to take the pill. But when you’re fortunate if you remember to eat one meal a day, it’s also easy to forget to renew your birth control prescription. That was just another detail among the many in her life that seemingly had ceased to have consequences or meaning the further she slipped down that rabbit hole.

“Okay, that’s alright. Can you lie down please, and put your feet in the stirrups? I need to do a vaginal ultrasound so we can see better.”

Chloe nodded, scooting back and lifting her feet. She reached for Beca’s hand as nerves sprouted in her belly, immensely grateful for her presence.

“This might not be the most comfortable feeling, but I’ll try to be as gentle as possible,” Dr. Harris said as she placed a condom over the wand before slowly inserting it. She tapped a few keys on the ultrasound machine, gently moving the wand around until a clear image popped up on the screen. It was another minute before she spoke again. “Okay… given the size of the embryo, you’re about seven weeks along, Chloe.”

Chloe puffed out a breath as a kaleidoscope of emotions swept through her. This was her baby, up there on the screen, and the sight of it suddenly made her question everything and ask something that she would regret shortly after. “Can I-- can I listen to the heartbeat?”

The doctor glanced at her. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Chloe confirmed. “I’m sure.”

Nodding, Dr. Harris pushed another key, and the most beautiful sound filled the room a second later. A steady, strong woosh woosh. Tears sprang to Chloe’s eyes, and she felt a squeeze to her hand as she attempted not to let them fall. Her own heart constricted in her chest, so hard it was nearly painful.

“Turn if off, please,” she croaked out, shaking her head as her lids slammed shut, those tears sliding down her cheeks and curling around her chin.

The doctor shut off the machine and withdrew the wand a few seconds later. “You can put your legs down, Chloe.”

Chloe nodded and straightened, taking the tissue Beca offered her and blowing her nose with it.

Dr. Harris watched on, her eyes soft. “You still have some time before making a decision.”

“Did it look healthy?” She found herself asking, then figured she should explain. “I just got out of rehab. I did cocaine and drank a fair amount of alcohol on a daily basis up until four weeks ago. And I was given um...” Chloe scratched her forehead as she raked her brain for the medication name. “Gabapentin for the first two weeks of rehab to help with withdrawal.”

Dr. Harris’ features remained professional as she nodded slowly. “The heartbeat is strong, and I didn’t catch anything abnormal. The risk of miscarriage is more present than for other pregnancies as the drugs crossed through the placenta when you were still using, and that up to twelve weeks. Problems could occur during and after the pregnancy. But the baby could also be perfectly healthy, since you stopped in the early stages of pregnancy. It’s hard to tell.”

Chloe’s mind swam with all these possible scenarios, and she didn’t know whether to listen to her brain or her gut feeling. “How-- how much time do I have to decide?”

Dr. Harris slipped her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. “Abortion is legal up to 25 weeks in New York state. Up to ten weeks, you can take a pill, past that a surgical procedure is needed.”

Chloe sniffled, swiping the back of her hand under her runny nose. “Okay. Thank you.”

Dr. Harris cast them both a tight-lipped smile. “Of course. I’ll leave informational pamphlets at the desk for you to read, as well as my phone number should you have any questions.”

“Thanks,” Beca said as the doctor walked out, then focused back on Chloe, reaching out to brush her hair back behind her ear. “I’ll give you a few minutes to get dressed? I can go get those pamphlets in the meantime.”

Chloe nodded, her insides caving in as soon as the door clicked shut behind Beca. She gripped the edges of the exam cot hard, her nails digging into the leather and her breathing turning chopped as a mix of panic and sadness unleashed within her.

It all seemed unfair, but she knew her own recklessness was the root of the situation she found herself in.

She eventually managed to calm herself down enough to get dressed, meeting Beca by the desk ten minutes later. The walk home was silent, and Chloe was grateful Beca didn’t push her to talk. She didn’t even know how to process her own thoughts, let alone speaking them aloud.

A few days passed. Chloe slept a lot, and tried to keep herself busy the rest of the time. One hour each morning consisted of hugging the toilet while she puked her guts out, and the rest of her day was spent craving that warm embrace of the rush cocaine once brought her.

The temptation was there. She knew there was a store on the corner of Beca’s street that sold booze, and she knew there was enough change in the bowl by the front door to afford at least a couple beers.

Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to. Not after seeing that tiny blob on that screen and listening to its heartbeat, because the biggest part of her wanted this. She knew it deep down, but she couldn’t silence those same voices that had been making her life hell for the past four years, telling her that she was bound to fail at this like she did with everything else.

Chloe woke up that Saturday morning to a churning stomach. Scrambling out of bed, she stumbled to the bathroom across the hall and made it just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into the ceramic bowl.

She slumped back against the wall afterwards, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she reached out to flush the toilet with the other. Chloe glanced up when Beca appeared around the corner, a sympathetic smile curving her lips as she stepped closer and handed Chloe a steaming mug.

“Ginger tea. I read it helps with morning sickness.”

Chloe accepted it with a quiet thank you. She cradled the mug between her palms, her head tilting back against the tile behind her as she exhaled. “You can sit, if you want.”

Beca nodded and lowered herself next to her in the tight space, their thighs and shoulders touching. “Do you… want to talk?”

Chloe sucked in a sharp breath. “I feel… lost,” she croaked out, her head rolling to the side to look at Beca. “Before the appointment, I was so sure terminating the pregnancy was the wise option, but then I saw it on that screen and heard its heartbeat and…”

“You realized the wise decision is maybe not what you want?” Beca supplied when Chloe trailed off.

“I’ve always wanted to be a mom,” Chloe whispered before she broke eye-contact, focusing on the mug she held in her hands as she blinked away the tears filling her eyes. “But it’s crazy to even consider it, right? I don’t have a job, I don’t have my own place, and I’m still battling with my own mind because I crave something. All day, every day since my last hit.”

“But you didn’t cave,” Beca pointed out softly. “I know it’s only been four days since you got out of rehab, but you didn’t cave, and that’s already an accomplishment of its own.”

“I just… I don’t want to harm this baby more than I’ve possibly already done,” Chloe admitted quietly.

Beca nodded, and reached out to take one of Chloe’s hands, tugging it into her lap gently. “If keeping this baby is what you want to do, those things you’re worried about have solutions. You may not have a place of your own, but I’m not kicking you out. Even with a baby. This is home for you as long as you want or need it. A job shouldn’t be too difficult to find. Maybe it won’t be the greatest one on earth to start with, but it will be something to get your head back in the game,” she paused, tilting her head to the side and seeking Chloe’s gaze. “And what you just said? About not caving because of the baby? I can’t think of a better proof of your ability to be a great mom. You’re already putting that baby before your own needs, and I can’t even fathom how great and out of control those can become, and I think that’s admirable. And for what it’s worth, I think you should trust what your gut tells you. I listened to my brain instead of my heart once, and ended up making one of the biggest mistakes of my life.”

Chloe let Beca’s words resonate within her, basking in the temporary peace they brought her. There was no doubt about where her gut feeling lay on this.

“I feel like I’m turning your life upside down,” she whispered after a while, sniffling. “You’ve done so much for me already, I don’t want to keep abusing from your generosity, or jeopardize your relationship with Sarah.”

“You’re not abusing anything, Chlo. I promise,” Beca murmured with a squeeze to her hand. A stretch of silence settled between them, until Beca spoke again. “You still have time to think about it. Just know that whatever you decide to do, I’ll support it.”

Over the next week, Chloe found herself picturing what it would be like, caring and nurturing for that baby and raising them. For the first time in five years, cocaine wasn’t the first thing she thought about when she woke up, or the last thing on her mind before going to sleep.

For the first time in five years, it felt like she had purpose, in trying her best to be the mom her child deserved. That meant staying clean, leaving those demons behind where they belonged, and getting her life back together one day at a time, for that innocent being that came to light in the darkest time of her life.

She woke up earlier than usual that morning, and headed to the bathroom to pee, pausing as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. A soft gasp escaped as she lifted her shirt and ran her palm over the barely perceptible swell in her lower belly. It wasn’t there yesterday, and Chloe felt tears pool in her eyes.

Happy ones.

“Hey there, little one,” she croaked out, her heart swelling against her ribcage as she rubbed slow circles over her skin. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

She puffed out a long breath, a watery smile breaking through.

One day at a time.

#bechloe #bechloe fanfic #chloe beale #beca mitchell

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hockeylvr59 · 5 years

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Proving Your Worth part 7 || Jonathan Toews

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: the ever important ‘what are we doing?’ talk.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2287

Y/N’s game outfit:

Jon’s suit:

Jon’s loungewear:

Jon’s apartment (see the subsequent post in 008 tag)

As the next two weeks of November flew by, you were fairly certain that you’d never been happier in your life. When the Hawks were on the road, Jon texted you throughout the day and while your conversations never got too deep, it was nice just to have someone to talk to again that wasn’t family. It had been years since you’d had anyone that you felt you could share bits and pieces of your life with. Just like you’d promised, for your third date you’d cooked and you and Jon had just stayed in, eating and watching a movie on Netflix. The Chicken Parmesan you’d made seemed to go over well with Jon and snuggling on the couch made you feel safe, something you’d never felt with a man before. When you woke up the next morning you were tucked into your bed and Jon’s scratchy handwriting was on a note next to the bed commenting on how you’d passed out mid-movie and that he’d text you when they got to Philadelphia the following day.

During the second road trip you’d started Christmas shopping and while deciding what to buy your family was hard enough, you knew that shopping for Jon would be nearly impossible if you didn’t have the talk that was lingering above you. He had started to use plural tones on occasion such as asking how the two of you were instead of how you were when he called, but you still hadn’t actually talked about the baby you were carrying or how he felt about it all. Not knowing left you feeling insecure and anxious about letting him too close and you were sure he’d noticed your distance when your texts were brief the entire weekend.

____

Jon was well aware of the fact that he needed to talk to you about what both of you wanted moving forward. It wasn’t a conversation that could happen over the phone though and with three road games over the course of a week, it was the last thing he honestly wanted to get into with the little bit of time you did have together.

The afternoon before the Rangers game though, it became evident that you couldn’t wait much longer. When he arrived at the arena it was clear that you were staying for the game by the fact that your office was locked but your things were still visible through the window on the door. Though he’d been hoping to see you it was probably best for his focus that he didn’t.

Still, as he sat down in his locker he couldn’t help but peek at the ultrasound picture, trying to figure out what he was going to say to you when he got the chance.

“Earth to Jon…” Hearing his name he looked up to see Sharpy standing above him, inquiring look on his face as he motioned to Jon’s phone. “I’d ask what that is but that would be a stupid question so instead I’ll ask why.”

Cursing under his breath Jon sighed, he was certainly an idiot for being stupid enough to get caught with the picture. Although his brain raced to come up with a lie, he knew that Sharpy would see right through it. You were certainly going to kill him because you hadn’t told anyone other than your boss...not even your parents.

Grabbing his skates to sharpen them he motioned for Patrick to follow him after tucking his phone back in his pocket. The noise of the grinder would make it harder for anyone to hear them and once they were alone Jon found himself spilling all of the thoughts he’d been holding back the past month.

“This stays between us...not a word to anyone.” With the face that had gotten him his nickname in place he continued, voice as quiet as possible. “She hasn’t told anyone else, not even her parents so this can’t get out to anyone.”

Once Sharpy had motioned that his lips were sealed as long as he explained, Jon gave him what he wanted. “I’ve been seeing Y/N...from business operations.”

“And you knocked her up?” Sharpy was quick to jump in with the accusation and Jon ran his fingers through his hair as he quickly shook his head.

“She was pregnant before we started dating. It’s complicated.” There was no way he was even going to try to explain the whole sperm bank thing.

“So you’re dating a pregnant chick...how’s that going to work?”

“Honestly I don’t know. She and I need to sit down and really talk about it.” Jon whispered as he turned the grinder off, his skates as sharp as they could possibly be. “I think I kind of already adore that baby and I might just be falling for its mother.” With nothing else left to say as he tried to process his own admission, Jon headed back to the locker room to resume his pregame routine.

Admittedly, he wasn’t on his game the way he should have been, luckily Anisimov had one hell of a night and scored his first career hat trick. At the end of the game, Jon chipped in an empty-netter but was still frustrated with himself. Heading into the locker room he managed to avoid the media and instead quickly showered and changed before walking over to your office in hopes that you were still here.

Your door was open and your light still on so he popped his head inside, all of the grouchy feelings fading when he saw you gathering up your things dressed in grey yoga pants, a Hawks sweatshirt, a hat on your head and tennis shoes on your feet. You were adorable and rapping his knuckles against your door frame he quickly moved to wrap an arm around you, kissing you gently.

____

Sitting up in the executive suite, you could tell as soon as the puck dropped that Jonathan wasn’t fully there. An inkling feeling told you that it was your fault and that made a normally pleasant game just slightly uncomfortable. Thankfully, he’d at least scored the empty netter and you could only hope that a strong team win in combination with that would help his mood.

As you walked back to your office you shot him a text to see if he wanted to spend a few hours with you before you both crashed from exhaustion. Waiting in your office for twenty minutes with no response you figured that he wasn’t in a very good mood and gathered your things to take the L back home. As you grabbed your keys, you heard a rapping on your door and as you looked up, a strong arm wrapped around you and immediately you recognized its owner as he pressed his lips onto your own.

“Hey…” You murmured taking in the sight of him in his suit, your color palettes very similar except for his burgundy as opposed to Blackhawks red. It was hard to read his mood so brushing back a strand of hair you fought back a yawn, waiting to see if he’d speak. When he didn’t you knew that you had to say something.

“It’s my fault you were off your game tonight isn’t it?” Though it would hurt if he agreed, it was easier to get right to the point instead of delaying with small talk. After a moment in which his hand rubbed against your side, he responded.

“Yes.” Hearing him agree, your stomach sunk and you felt like you were going to throw up at the same time. “I think we need to sit down and talk, figure out what we both want from this moving forward, clear the air.” What he was requesting was completely reasonable since you both knew it needed to happen but you were still absolutely terrified that like all of the men before him, he was going to pull away and tell you that he didn’t want to put up with all of your baggage anymore.

Not another word was spoken until we’d not only pulled into his parking garage, but entered his massive Chicago penthouse. Dropping his bag on the floor and urging you to set your things down as well, Jon moved to grab a water for you and a Gatorade for himself from his fridge. You’d never actually been to his apartment before and you couldn’t help but look around at each item, figuring out what they described about him. Honestly, you were just trying to avoid getting lost in your own thoughts, knowing that it would end with you spiraling.

Overall, the space was exactly what you’d pictured him living in and after a moment you moved to the windows taking in the absolutely incredible views. Your view was of the city itself but it honestly wasn’t very good, his however, it wouldn’t surprise you if he bought this based on view alone.

When he handed you your water you shot a strained smile his way before moving to sit on one of his couches, feet curled up under you. You needed to hear what he had to say before you let yourself say anything because if he was going to reject you it wouldn’t matter what you wanted. For a moment he disappeared before returning in sweats and a t-shirt himself and taking the spot on the other end of the couch, tugging your feet into his lap. Feeling your stomach twist because of the confusion of his mixed signals you sighed before speaking.

“Can you please start talking before I end up puking…” You pleaded tucking your hands against your stomach.

“Relax Y/N…” Jon murmured, his fingers teasing over your legs. “Yes you were the reason that I was off my game tonight but only because I was trying to figure out what to say when we sat down to have this conversation.” You couldn’t tell if that was a good or a bad thing and did your best to mask your emotions until he continued.

“We both know that things are more...complex...because of the baby so let’s just ignore that for three minutes.” It was pretty much impossible for you to ignore your baby so you shot a glare at him before giving into his request.

“Okay. For the next three minutes, I’m not pregnant. Continue.” You declared still confused and anxious.

“If there was no baby involved what would you want us to be?” He asked and while you didn’t really want to put your end of things out there, he’d done nothing the past month except be as supportive as possible and beyond good to you.

“I’d want to see where things go, let the feelings continue to develop.” That seemed like a safe enough response and when he nodded you let out a deep breath.

“And with the baby, do you feel the same?”

“I think I should be the one asking you that.” After all, you knew what you were getting into when you tried to get pregnant, he didn’t exactly sign up for all of this, at least not beyond a few dates.

“Will you answer me first?” He asked, his tone showing just an iota of annoyance at your avoidance of the question.

“Fine. Being pregnant makes me want to be a lot more cautious because it’s not just me that could get hurt, it’s my child and this baby means more to me than anything else probably ever could.” At the same time though, you knew you hadn’t been as cautious as you should have been so far, he made it really hard not to just give in to him.

“But you still want to see where things go?” He confirmed and when you nodded he seemed to relax a bit. “I’ll be blunt Y/N...I never expected to get involved with someone that was pregnant, especially when it’s not biologically my baby.” What he was saying wasn’t really anything new but you needed to know where he was going with this, your hands shaking slightly.

“I never expected to get involved with someone that was expecting but…” Shifting from his spot at your feet, Jon moved and pulled you to stand face to face with him while he continued, his left hand cupping your face while his right moved to your stomach. “But you are unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. I want to share every post-game victory with you and just curl up on the couch after every loss. I want to be here as this baby continues to grow and I want to play whatever role you want me to in his or her life. I want to take you home to my mom and hang your ultrasound pictures in my locker for everyone to see. I’ve done a lot of thinking about how you being pregnant would impact a blossoming relationship and while we’ll certainly have to make sure that we balance our focus between us and the baby as equally as possible I want to pursue a future with you, with both of you.”

By the time he finished speaking, tears were pouring down your cheeks and you honestly didn’t know how to respond. How is it possible that such an amazing man actually wants to explore a future with you regardless of the fact that he didn’t help make the baby you’re carrying. There weren’t words to describe how you were feeling so instead you stretched onto the tips of your toes and pulled him down into a heady kiss, pouring out everything you couldn’t say with your actions.

“I think you should take me to bed.”

#jonathan toews #jonathan toews imagine #chicago blackhawks #chicago blackhawks imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #cblackhawks #008

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

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The 10 Most Bizarre And WTF Stories Of 2017

This year in science has been absolutely incredible. There’s been black hole mergers, the death dive of Cassini, and massive scientific advancements in all fields.

However, 2017 was also the year that the FDA warned people not to eat their own body parts, the Flat Earth Society held a conference for their members from around the globe, and a woman became pregnant whilst already pregnant.

Without any further ado, here are the weirdest, funniest stories from a spectacularly bizarre year in science.

10) An Image Of A Man Killed In Pompeii Went Viral, Because It Looked Like He Was Involved In An Act Of Self-Love When He Died

The remains of around 1,150 people have been found from the aftermath of the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 CE. Amongst the dead, there are families huddling together and two men embracing as they died.

Then there was this guy, who went viral for obvious reasons. People speculated that he was preserved in one final act of self-love, because, well, it really does look like that might be the case.

–

We will probably never know what the man was really doing, but it’s possible the man was killed whilst masturbating. However, it’s also possible his body fell like this naturally.

Theories on how Pompeii victims died suggest many were killed instantly in a blast of hot gas. A study in 2001 looked at 80 skeletons and found signs that the victims close to the eruption were killed before they felt any pain.

“[There were no signs of a] voluntary self-protective reaction or agony contortions, indicating that their vital organs must have stopped within a shorter time than the conscious reaction time,” said Dr Alberto Incoronato of the University of Naples Federico II, as reported by The Telegraph. “The cloud was a mixture of hot gas and ash. It caused little damage in the town itself but killed these people instantly.”

Other victims were killed by falling debris in collapsed buildings or possibly by suffocating in the ash. However, the lack of debris found around the “masturbating man” and the fact that he isn’t covering his face seems to suggest that he was one of those who died instantly, without ever seeing it coming.

On the other hand, it could just be an embarrassing position that his body wound up in.

“Most of the human victims found in Pompeii often show ‘strange’ position of arms and legs, due to the contraction of limbs as a consequence of the heat effect on their bodies after death occurred,” Volcanologist Pier Paolo Petrone told The Daily Dot.

Poor guy.

9) Moron Decides To Tease Enormous Alligator While Dressed As A T-Rex

In “why the hell would they do that” news, a man decided to put on a T-rex costume and taunt an alligator… as you do. The 35-year-old in the costume said that he couldn’t see out of the suit, which would probably put most people off from taunting an alligator. Not this guy.

8) There Was A Concerning Spike In People Searching For “Why Do My Eyes Hurt” Just After The Eclipse

The eclipse was one of the more fun science stories of the year. Whether you’re an astrophysicist or a small child, we can all agree that the Moon moving in front of the Sun is pretty awesome.

Unfortunately, despite many warnings not to, it seems there were a lot of people who looked directly at the Sun during the eclipse. It wasn’t just the POTUS.

Just after the eclipse, there was an uptick in searches for terms such as “eclipse headache” and “eyes hurt”.

Google Trends chart showing how much more searches on these terms were searched, relative to how much this term is usually searched for.

In fact, a lot of related terms seem to have had more traffic on the day of the eclipse, including the phrase “looking at the Sun” and the vastly more specific phrase “I looked at the Sun”. You all don’t deserve an eclipse.

Check out this article for more info and this article from Quartz, which takes a closer look at how Google Trends assemble this data.

7) White Supremacists Took Ancestry Tests, Only To Discover They Aren’t As Genetically “White” As They Thought

2017 has been a horrifying year filled with white supremacists being terrible human beings. They’ve done some awful things this year, but let’s not forget another moment of stupidity.

Some white supremacists took a genetic test to prove how white they are to their white supremacist friends, only to find out they’re not as white as they thought they were (spoiler: nobody is).

The white nationalist forum responded in a variety of ways, including racists getting angry at other racists for not quite being white enough genetically.

After one person revealed they were “61 percent European”, another person replied: “I’ve prepared you a drink. It’s 61 percent pure water. The rest is potassium cyanide… Cyanide isn’t water, and YOU are not White.”

The forum saw some people being kicked out because they aren’t “white enough”. Whilst obviously it doesn’t matter where the hell you came from, genetically or otherwise, it’s fun to see some white supremacists losing their minds after finding out their true origins.

They also spent time in the forum trying to debunk the validity of the tests themselves. Read more about their dismay here.

6) The World’s First “Adult Service Droid” Was Created

Whilst most people’s attention has been on the technically impressive Sofia robot, you may have forgotten this is the year that brought us the world’s very first “adult service” droid, and it’s horrifying.

The droid moves back and forth like it’s moshing. It gets even more horrifying when you realize she is wearing a parka coat because she doesn’t have any skin. Yep, the world’s most technically advanced robot prostitute is essentially a mannequin’s head on a stick. Nightmare fuel.

5) The CDC Had To Issue A Warning Telling People Not To Eat A Part Of Their Own Body

Asturnut/Wikimedia Commons

In 2017, the fad for eating parts of one’s own body appears to have taken off. Kim and Kourtney Kardashian did it. X-Men: First Class actress January Jones did it. All the celebrities appear to have eaten their own placenta after giving birth.

Despite the fact that there is no evidence that eating your placenta has any health benefits, the idea has gone bizarrely mainstream, with plenty of people on YouTube posting videos on how to prepare placenta, cook placenta, or even turn it into a milkshake.

Well, it took off so much this year that the CDC put out a warning to everyone not to eat your own body.

In the report, the CDC says that health officials believe placenta capsules may have caused an infection in a baby in Portland, Oregon. The mother had her placenta turned into capsules by a company she thought to be safe, but the baby fell ill after she took them. The capsules were tested and found to contain infectious bacteria, though the researchers note they can’t rule out other possibilities.

“Placenta ingestion has recently been promoted to postpartum women for its physical and psychological benefits, although scientific evidence to support this is lacking,” the center warns in its report. They point out that “no standards exist for processing placenta for consumption.”

The CDC note that it’s possible the placenta pills were not heated properly to kill the bacteria.

“The placenta encapsulation process does not per se eradicate infectious pathogens; thus, placenta capsule ingestion should be avoided.”