#like not spooked unsettled but like...unmoored yeah
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#i know part the reason im feeling unmoored is that my ADHD brain hates having to deal with my crummy management painting the apartment#and not responding to texts about how mu h longer it will take#and my room and schedules are all askew because of it#and also im on my period#but man i just feel really unsettled latley#like not spooked unsettled but like...unmoored yeah#im 30 and i really dont know what to do with my life#and its harder now to have hope for the future#im not despondent just...empty feeling#my religion i loved so much turned out to be untrue#the person i loved so much turned out to not care about me#as a romantic interest or even a friend#and both have really made me feel like i just cant trust anything or anybody in any real way#like in a deep You Are My Safe Place kind of way#im rambling sorry#will probably delete later#it really is probably just my period and my apartment being a mess thats screwing with me#and i really just want a real hug#and i dont have anyone nearby i can get one from and have it mean something#so im rambling at tumblr to make myself feel better
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