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#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back
mydr3aminvi0let · 1 month
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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themagicaltunaa · 3 years
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Answer all the questions
well i have nothing to do so sure
1. What have you eaten today? 
some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner
2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?
never kissed anyone, don't really care about that
3. What color shoes did you last wear?
light grey sneakers
4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?
Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday
5. What is your favorite scent?
I love the smell freshly baked goods
6. What is your favorite season? Why?
I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day
7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?
lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.
8. What color are your nails?
the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails
9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?
aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something
10. What is something you find romantic?
i dont know romantic things 
11. Are you happy?
eh
12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?
no not really
13. Dogs or Cats?
cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats
15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?
museum
15. What is your style?
my style is “im trying”
16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?
stay up all night to catch up on videos
17. Are you in a relationship or single?
single babeyyyy
18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?
nothing, because im not attracted to anyone
19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?
i dont like celebrities
20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?
i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works
21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?
I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us
22. Have you recently made any big decisions?
nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing 
23. Were you ever in a school play?
I’ve always had stage fright so no
24. What movie would you use to describe your life?
uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one
25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 
oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety 
26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
I dont like sharing
27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?
uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing
28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?
too much to list
29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?
fuck if i know
30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?
can’t think of anything rn
31. How long was your longest relationship?
never been in one
32. Have you ever been in love?
pretty sure I have not
33. Are you currently in love?
nope
34. Why did your last relationship end?
see question 31
35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?
not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general
36. When was the last time you cried and why?
I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid
37. Name someone pretty.
the anon that sent me this ask
38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?
oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)
39. Do you get jealous easily?
no
40. Have you ever been cheated on?
no
41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?
sure
42. Ever had detention?
no because I was a good bean in school
43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?
city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous 
44. What do people call you?
by my name
45. What was the last book you read?
I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book
46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?
uhhh idk
47. What kind of music do you listen to?
anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre
48. How tall are you?
my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2
49. Do you like kids?
they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any 
50. Favorite fruits?
watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines
51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
jeans
52. What’s your earliest memory?
I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed
53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?
i hope not
54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind it
55. Do you have a collection of anything?
I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what
56. Do you save money or spend it?
i try to save it
57. What would your dream house be like?
something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2
58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?
its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn
59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?
see the previous question
60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care
61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work
62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
a heart?
63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go
64. Do you like the beach?
It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet
65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?
no? wtf does someone special mean?
66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!
Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything
67. Do you talk to yourself?
in my head all the time
68. Describe your hair.
brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying
69. What is the meaning of life.
I wish i knew
70. What is your ideal partner like?
no one
71. Do you want to get married?
no
72. Do you want to have kids?
 ew no
73. Like or dislike your family?
 they’re bearable
74. Are you Chunky or Slim?
I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat
75. Would you consider yourself smart?
lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass
76. What would you change about your life?
everything if i could
77. Religious or Not?
no not really
78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?
I don’t drink so this would never happen
79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?
it sure isnt because no one is there
80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh
81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
idk
82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
i’m not opening the door because no one is there
83. Do you like when people play with your hair?
ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy
84. Do you like bubble baths?
no
85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?
I need to drive in order for that to happen
86. Have you ever danced in the rain?
no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain
87. Do you trust anyone with your life?
not really? 
88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
why does god allow suffering
89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)
1.greece
2. peru
3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there
theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list
90. How was your day today?
it was fine
91. Play an instrument?
used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since
92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.
it’s scary
93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?
aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch
94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?
abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no 
95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?
in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it
96. When are you vulnerable?
always
97. How much free time do you have?
doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time
98. Do you like to go hiking?
never been
99. Odd or Even Numbers?
even
100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?
no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken
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