#like our friends who. was our static leader's friend first yh n he's one of the best ninja's w uhh ffl*gs >.>
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eulmore ost makes me so happy 🥹
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#both day n night themes r both so comforting for me. i have. a lot of memories in eulmore#with msq.. shadowbringers is very very special to me :c n then raiding i. i remember w the static we'd sit n just chill there n#talk or emote on each other or wtvr. i still remember those nights so clearly#i remember an old friend. how i'd always be shy to talk to him haha i never initiated any convos but i remember we met there n#yeah. n. he affected my life quite a bit months after in that week we talked quite a lot bcs i was really in a bad time then n..#he was there ig. a friend back then.#with the static yh. i remember listening in to vc. sometimes we'd have guests too#like our friends who. was our static leader's friend first yh n he's one of the best ninja's w uhh ffl*gs >.>#n then our static lead's old friend from his old static joined us from time to time to i think he's from na????#nyways the latter dude i can barely remember his voice but he was my co-tank several times during prog n i wld be so intimidated omg#i miss those days a lot. last year i was really disconnected from reality but i had a lot of friends n memories in ffxiv#this year was.. this year confuses me so much. n it's precisely bcs it's been so long since i've been connected w reality like this#i really don't want to mess it up n i think lately i haven't been doing well bcs i can't help but feel like i have#do you ever think of the past and wonder whether if you did better would things be different (& also better) now?#i'd rather not dwell on the past n instead look towards what i can do in the future but i've been feeling lost for so long now#ff calms me down so much oh my god i'm listening to some ffxv rn too n it brings back a lot of memories#all these memories really mean so much to me but it's so bittersweet bcs. i can't return to them. just remember n remember n remember#one day i'm afraid i'll forget. or all this would be too far out of my reach#n that day feels far too near. but this dread this anxiety this fear is normal. human. but so very tiring n i don't know what to do#i miss those days.. even yesterday i miss so much. even earlier today. thinking n lately i've been too tired to reach out in any way n oh#IM RAMBLING WAIT 😭😭#i really don't know how to put it into words at this point but it just feels so bittersweet n cold n confusing n hdlkfjsdflkds :c#christmas is so near.. 2023 is so near n i'm not sure what i've done at all. lately life just feels so empty.#but eventually i'll find myself again. so please tell me you'll still wait. please tell me you haven't forgotten.#n so i'll forge ahead unto the morrow. with a heavy heart.. mind full of thoughts n hands too tired to write. but i'm still here.#even if it weighs heavy even if it hurts. tomorrow so long as there's tomorrow there'll always be another chance for smth better.#n i'll hold unto that hope forever
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