#like that end part of shiksa goddess where like. she's there. but she's not there there yknow?

[hiperchile]

finally got around to watching l5y with nasia thomas & nicholas edwards and like. damn

this is everything the movie couldn’t lmao

[fullstcp]

"The Last Five Years" Sentence Starters

STILL HURTING

"He/she/they is/are over and he/she/they is/are gone."

"He's/she's/they've decided it's time to move on."

"He/she/they has/have new dreams he's/she's/they're building upon."

"I'm still hurting."

"He/she/they arrived at the end of the line."

"He's/she's/they're convinced that the problems are mine."

"He's/she's/they're probably feeling just fine."

"What about lies?"

"What about things that you swore to be true?"

"What about you?"

"He's/she's/they're sure something wonderful died."

"He/she/they decide(s) it's his/her/their right to decide."

"He's/she's/they've got secrets he/she/they do(es)n't confide."

"Go and hide and run away."

"Run away, run and find something better."

"Run away like it's simple. Like it's right."

"Give me a day."

"Bring back the lies. Hang them back on the wall."

"Maybe I'd see how you could be so certain that we had no chance at all."

"He's/she's/they're over and where can I turn?"

"Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn."

"But that wouldn't change the fact."

"That wouldn't speed the time."

SHIKSA GODDESS

"I'm breaking my mother's/father's heart."

"If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter."

"Now I'm getting somewhere."

"I'm finally breaking through."

"I've been waiting for someone like you."

"The minute I first met you I could barely catch my breath."

"I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand like an idiot, scared to death."

"Well, nobody's perfect."

"It's tragic, but it's true."

"You are the story I should write."

"Just tell me what to do."

"I think that I could be in love with someone like you."

SEE I'M SMILING

"I guess I can't believe you really came."

"See, I'm smiling. That means I'm happy that you're here."

"See, we're laughing."

"I think we're gonna be okay."

"We'll have to try a little harder."

"Who knows where else we can go?"

"I think you're really gonna like this show."

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't suck."

"I think we both can see what could be better."

"I'll own when I was wrong."

"With all we've had to go through, we'll end up twice as strong."

"We'll start again this weekend."

"I didn't know you had to go so soon."

"I thought we had a little time."

"Look, whatever, if you have to then you have to."

"We'll have tonight."

"You know what makes me crazy?"

"I'm sorry, can I say this?"

"And you are gonna choose somebody else to be with?"

"That's exactly what you're doing."

"You could be here with me or be there with them."

"As usual, guess which you pick."

"You do not have to go to another party with the same twenty jerks you already know."

"You could stay with your wife/husband/spouse on her/his/their fucking birthday!"

"I know in your soul it must drive you crazy that you won't get to play with your little girlfriend/boyfriend."

"You can't spend a single day that's not about you and you and nothing but you."

"I swear to God I'll never understand, how you can stand there straight and tall. And see I'm crying and not do anything at all."

MOVING TOO FAST

"Did I just hear an alarm start ringing?"

"Did I see sirens go flying past?"

"I don't know what tomorrow's bringing."

"I've got a singular impression that things are moving too fast."

"I just expected it ten years later."

"I'm never worried to walk the wire."

"I won't do anything just half-assed."

"I found a woman/man I love."

"Some people analyze every detail."

"Some people stall when they can't see the trail."

"Some people freeze out of fear that they'll fail."

"Some people can't find success with their art."

"Some people never feel love in their heart."

"Some people can't tell the two things apart."

"Maybe I can't follow through."

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"I'm doing things I never dreamed of before!"

"My heart's been stolen."

"My ego's swollen."

"It's hard not to be sure I'm spinning out of control."

"I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried."

"I'm feeling outmaneuvered and outclassed."

"But I'm so happy I can't get worried."

A PART OF THAT

"One day it's just a typical life."

"And then he'll/she'll/they'll smile."

"And I'm a part of that."

"Next day, it's just like it never happened."

"We're making dinner."

"We're making plans."

"And then he/she/they smile(s). His/her/their eyes light up, and I how can I complain?"

"Yes, he's/she's/they're insane. But look what he/she/they can do."

"I tend to follow in his/her/their stride, instead of side by side."

"I take his/her/their cure."

"True, but there's no question, there's no doubt."

"I said I'd stick it out and follow through."

"Then he/she/they smile(s) and where else can I go?"

"I didn't know the rules do not apply."

"And then he/she/they smile(s) and nothing else makes sense."

THE SCHMUEL SONG

"If I only had time."

"You'll get to be happy."

"I give you unlimited time."

"Maybe it's just that you're afraid to go out onto a limb."

"Maybe your heart's completely swayed, but your head can't follow through."

"Shouldn't I want the world to see the brilliant girl/boy who inspires me?"

"Don't you think that now's a good time to be the ambitious freak you are?"

"Have I mentioned today how lucky I am to be in love with you?"

A SUMMER IN OHIO

"I could have a mansion on a hill."

"All things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it."

"He/she/they want(s) me, but he/she/they ain't gonna get me."

"I found my guiding light."

"Look at me, look at him/her/them."

"Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right."

"I finally got something right!"

"The torture is just exquisite while I'm waiting for you to visit."

"So hurry up, schmuck, get unstuck and get on the scene."

THE NEXT TEN MINUTES

"Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?"

"We can handle that."

"Just holding you might compel me to ask you for more."

"There are so many lives I want to share with you."

"I will never be complete until 'I do'."

"I am not always on time."

"Please don't expect that from me."

"I will be late, but if you can just wait I will make it eventually."

"Not like it's in my control."

"Not like I'm proud of the fact."

"I don't know why people run."

"I don't know why things fall through."

"I don't know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you."

"I could say no and goodbye. But why?"

"I want to be your wife/husband."

"I want to bear your child."

"I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms."

"That I can do."

"Forever, with you."

"'Til the world explodes."

"'Til there's no one left who has ever known us apart."

"There are so many dreams I need to see with you."

"There are so many years I need to be with you."

"Isn't that the museum?"

"Can we go see the dinosaurs?"

A MIRACLE WOULD HAPPEN / WHEN YOU COME HOME TO ME

"I mean, I'm happy."

"And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."

"It's not a problem, just a challenge."

"I'm the center of attention. I'm the grand fromage."

"Which is dumb - I shouldn't care what she/he/they think(s) since I can't fuck her/him/them anyway!"

"You know I love her/him/them."

"When you come home to me I'll wear a sweeter smile and hope that for a while, you'll stay."

"Soon, our love will rise anew."

"It's even greater than the joy I felt just missing you."

"Once again, I'll be so proud to call you mine."

"I swear I'll be there soon."

"Don't give up on me yet."

"I am so proud of you, baby."

"You're doing what you never get to do before."

"Don't lose faith."

"Don't get down."

"Don't despair."

"I'll be there."

"We're gonna make it through."

"And nothing else will matter."

CLIMBING UPHILL

"I'm climbing uphill."

"I'm up every morning at six."

"I am a good person."

"I'm an attractive person."

"I am a talented person."

"Grant me Grace!"

"Why am I working so hard?"

"I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels to be trotting along at the genius' heels."

"I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by."

IF I DIDN'T BELIEVE IN YOU

"But what's it really about?"

"Can we please for a minute stop blaming and say what you feel?"

"Did you think this would all be much easier than it's turned out to be?"

"If I didn't believe in you, we'd never have gotten this far."

"If I didn't think you could do anything you ever wanted to. If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow. The fact of the matter is, I wouldn't be standing here now."

"If I didn't believe in you, we wouldn't be having this fight."

"Don't we get to be happy?"

"Don't we get to relax?"

"And, if I'm cheering on your side, why can't you support mine?"

"Why do I have to feel I've committed some felony doing what I always swore I would do?"

"I don't want you to hurt."

"I don't want you to sink."

"But you know what I think?"

"I think you'll be fine. Just hang on and you'll see."

"But don't make me wait 'til you do to be happy with you."

"No one can give you courage."

"No one can thicken your skin."

"I will not fail so you can be comfortable."

"I will not lose because you can't win."

"If I hadn't believed in you, I wouldn't have loved you at all."

I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT

"My best friend had a little situation at the end of their senior year."

"I thought about what I wanted, it wasn't like that at all."

"I gave up my life for the better part of a year."

"I'm starting to feel like this maybe might work."

"Just love me."

"You don't have to change a thing."

"Just stay with me."

"I want you and nothing but you."

"Finally I'll have something worthwhile to think of each morning."

"Nothing but you. No substitution will do."

"Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure top of the line. And totally mine."

"I don't need any lifetime commitments."

"I don't need to get hitched tonight."

"I don't want you to throw up all your walls and defenses."

"I don't mean to put on any pressure, but I know when a thing is right."

"It feels like my life led right to your side."

"Think about what you wanted."

"Think about what could be."

"Think about how I love you."

"Say you'll move in with me."

"Think of what's great about me and you."

"Think of the bullshit we've both been through."

"Think of what's past because we can do better than that."

NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW

"You look like an angel."

"I don't remember when we fell asleep."

"I made a promise and I took a vow."

"I wrote a story and we changed the ending."

"Hold on, facts are facts."

"Nobody needs to know."

"All right, it's over, it's done."

"No one will understand."

"Then I start making conscious, deliberate mistakes."

"All that I ask for is one little corner. One private room at the back of my heart."

"Come back to bed."

"I promise I won't lie to you."

"I won't let you go."

"And since I have to be in love with someone. Since I need to be in love with someone, maybe I could be in love with someone like you."

GOODBYE UNTIL TOMORROW / I COULD NEVER RESCUE YOU

"Don't kiss me goodbye again."

"Leave this night clean and quiet."

"You want the last word."

"You want me to laugh."

"But leave it for now."

"All you can say, all you can feel, was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss."

"Goodbye until tomorrow."

"Goodbye until the next time you call."

"I will be waiting."

"Goodbye 'til I recall how to breathe."

"And I have been waiting. I have been waiting for you."

"Goodbye until the rest of my life."

"It's not about another shrink."

"It's not about another compromise."

"I'm not the only one who's hurting here."

"I don't what the hell is left to do."

"I could never rescue you. No matter how I tried."

"All I could do was love you hard, and let you go."

"All I could do was love you. God, I loved you so."

"So we could fight. Or we could wait. Or I could go."

"I didn't see a way we both could win."

"Goodbye until I'm done thanking God."

"Just close the gate. I'll stand and wait."

"Goodbye."

[antialiasis]

The Last Five Years

Time for some rambling about a musical! God, it has been a while.

The Last Five Years... is a show that I had never heard of prior to learning it was referenced in Hamilton, and had more or less forgotten existed until it was brought up briefly in a video essay I watched several months ago, and then at some point there as I was looking for new music to listen to at work I looked up the soundtrack on Spotify. I've been listening to it on and off since.

This musical is told in a format that would only really work as a musical, which I enjoy. It chronicles a relationship between two young artists: Jamie Wellerstein, a Jewish writer seeing quick success with his first novel, and Cathy Hiatt, an aspiring actress seeing rather less success. The gimmick is that instead of telling this story conventionally, with the two characters interacting with each other on the stage, it is almost completely sung-through and almost all the songs are solos, alternating between the two characters - with his songs playing out in chronological order while hers are in reverse chronological order. The first song is Cathy reading the letter Jamie wrote her to break up with her; the second is Jamie lovestruck and bursting at the seams with excitement at the beginning of their relationship. There is one song in the middle where their timelines cross and they're both actually present in the same moment to sing a duet together, and the very last song is a counterpoint duet between Cathy saying goodbye to Jamie after their first date and Jamie saying goodbye to Cathy for good as he leaves; the rest is all alternating chunks of each character's raw POV while the other actor is offstage or sits silently out of the spotlight as the other monologues.

This entire setup could only work properly as two actors on a stage singing. There was a movie adaptation of this musical, but that was just a terrible idea from the start; it's a whole different effect when they're actually acting at each other and not just spewing alternating raw one-sided monologues directly at the audience. It really requires the heightened, non-literal nature of the musical theater format to deliver what it's doing, and that definitely tickles me.

The video essay said something along the lines of how the opposite chronology and alternating monologues symbolize the way the couple fail to understand and communicate with each other, which was part of what piqued my interest - romance isn't usually my thing but I do enjoy me some drama involving people with issues talking past each other.

What I found when I listened to it was not quite that, I think. The impression that gave me was that it was a pretty ambiguous situation, where they're both bad for each other, and in the comments of the YouTube videos I eventually checked out of the original stage performance and the movie, there's a lot of discussion about who was at fault to what extent for their relationship problems, even some "Team Jamie" vs "Team Cathy". To me, though, the answer to that question felt extremely straightforward: it's Jamie, all the way through. I like his songs significantly more than Cathy's, as songs - "Shiksa Goddess", "Moving Too Fast", "The Schmuel Song" and "A Miracle Would Happen" are all just bangers, "Nobody Needs to Know" is really raw and twisted and heartwrenching in the way I like (way more so than I'd expected, knowing only from Hamilton that this was a line about cheating), and only "Climbing Uphill" really stands out for me on Cathy's end - but man, he's just a dick.

In Jamie's songs, sure, he seems pretty convinced this relationship is going south because of Cathy. That she lashes out because she's jealous that he's successful and she isn't, that she expects him to rescue her from her nonexistent self-esteem but he can't, that she doesn't support him, that she expects him to fail so she can be comfortable, that she thinks he doesn't believe in her, that she won't give him privacy. But when we hear Cathy's raw inner monologue, none of these things actually seem to be true. Never at any point does Cathy actually express jealousy or frustration with Jamie's success. She's frustrated with her own difficulties with it, yes - but she's consistently thrilled and excited about his. She multiple times expresses how she refuses to need a man to get by or be dependent on him - nowhere does it sound like she wants him to "rescue" her. She apparently keeps going with him to publishing parties she despises with the same twenty people until she finally finds it in her to refuse (at which Jamie throws a fit about how jealous she is and how he can't rescue her and then demands she come with him to the party anyway). She keeps obligingly leaving him alone when he says he needs space to write, and spends entire summers in Ohio doing community theater, during which one would think Jamie has plenty of privacy. The one charge Jamie levels at her that might be true is that she doesn't talk to him or communicate about her feelings - God knows Jamie seems wildly off-base about her feelings all the time - but after the degree of bizarre gaslighting in the rest of the accusations he levels at her, it's kind of hard not to be skeptical of the idea she hasn't tried - I wonder if Jamie would even have counted it if she’d told him about her actual feelings and not the feelings he’s decided she’s secretly harboring. But regardless of that, in "See I'm Smiling", Cathy admits to having done things wrong and wants to own up to them and make things better. She seems to have at least the intent of being self-aware.

Meanwhile, Cathy's issues with Jamie appear starkly factual within the text, given we can assume their individual monologues don't like, straight-up make up specific events that didn't actually happen - and Jamie never admits to doing anything wrong. He claims he supports her, but when she's regularly doing shows in Ohio during the summer, not only does he not find time to visit her there until the last possible moment, he chooses to pop in for like a day and then leave to go to another one of his tedious publisher parties rather than, you know, see his wife in her show that she’s been doing, on her goddamn birthday? Really? And she believes he's cheating on her, which he is, because eventually we learn that from his end in "Nobody Needs to Know". In general, he seems super not emotionally present for her or supportive of her at all after “The Schmuel Song”, constantly busy doing whatever promoting his book, or saying he needs space to write, or staying in New York while she goes to Ohio. And given all that, it's pretty hard to dispute the notion that he can't spend a single day that's not about himself, isn't it. Her perceptions of his faults all seem accurate and indisputable; his perceptions of hers just seem like baseless inaccurate mansplaining of her own feelings where I can only scratch my head as to where on earth he's getting any of that from.

And... even aside from what Cathy herself voices, other parts of Jamie's own POV are decidedly toxic and insidious. His very first song, "Shiksa Goddess", is all about how the reason he's head over heels for her is: she isn't Jewish. That's it. He's been with a dozen different Jewish women and he's sick of it and wants something different, any Gentile woman will do. He says he could be in love with someone like you, rather than that he loves anything particular about her. After the one duet, where they get married, here's the very next song:

Everyone tells you that the minute you get married, every other woman in the world suddenly finds you attractive - well, that's not true It only affects the kind of women you always wanted to sleep with, but they wouldn't give you the time of day before And now they're banging down your door and falling to their knees At least that's what it feels like, because you can not touch them [...] And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by and smiles at you, and you're like, "That's not fair!" [...] And I have to say that what exacerbates the problem is I'm at these parties I'm the center of attention, I'm the grand fromage And here she comes: "Let's get a cup of coffee! Will you look at my manuscript?" [...] And there's that really awkward moment where I try to show I wasn't encouraging this (Though of course I sort of was) And I don't want to look whipped in front of this woman, which is dumb, I shouldn't care what she thinks, since I can't fuck her anyway!

And, I mean, can't fault a guy for being horny, sexual attraction to other people does not magically disappear when you get married, I enjoy what delightfully raw unfiltered inner monologue this is, but his whole framing of this is just so revealingly misogynistic. Sure, this is all about how he'd love it if he just stopped being attracted to other women, he wants to be faithful to his wife, but apparently while he is attracted to them he just thinks of women in the most dehumanizing possible terms.

And then, of course, he does go on to cheat on her in the end, annnnd he tells the new one, "Maybe I could be in love with someone like you." Just like Cathy. He also tells her that I promise I won't lie to you but that seems laughable given he seems to be about to start the same cycle with this other woman.

I find it kind of hard to tell whether this is all entirely intentional. The creator, Jason Robert Brown, was sued by his ex-wife for basing this musical too closely on their relationship (and this definitely isn't a genderswapped version of it, since the lawsuit resulted in the removal of a song making Cathy explicitly Irish, like the ex-wife, in favor of "Shiksa Goddess"). Either Jason Robert Brown did a whole lot of self-reflection and deliberately wrote himself as a total dickweed and his ex-wife who sued him as entirely innocent, or he meant for all this to be a lot more two-sided and ambiguous than it seems to be to me. Parts of it feel super deliberate - the callback about being in love with someone like you in "Nobody Needs to Know" in particular - but others maybe not, and it sure seems like a lot of people on the internet perceive it more ambiguously.

Aside from this Team Cathy manifesto, though, I don't have too many feelings on this musical. I had hoped for it to be very issuey and very humans being humans tragically at cross-purposes, but from my perspective it's mostly just a girl who's generally insecure and really hates doing community theater in Ohio, likable enough but not super interesting, and a sort of interesting but terrible narcissistic ass who, yeah, does think he loves her, at the start, and probably genuinely intended to be supportive of her, but then just gets wrapped up in himself and his own success and ego and then utterly fails to comprehend why his wife is actually pissed at him.

There are some excellent bits of lyrics here and there, and some songs I enjoy listening to, but the characters ultimately don't really grab me enough for me to consider it a favorite. Still, I do appreciate the interesting use of the format a lot, and I do enjoy the soundtrack (but mostly Jamie's songs, I'm sorry Cathy, you did nothing wrong but apart from "Climbing Uphill" your songs are just not as catchy or fun). If it sounds interesting to you, check it out.

[singingaboutwishingx]

hello! ik u love musicals and the ww so i had a thought—donnajosh the last 5 years au?

oh. my god. pain. why would you put me in pain like this.

i imagine that instead of being a novelist, josh is a political pundit—he has his degrees from harvard and yale, and he’s trying to climb up the ladder. at the beginning, he’s running a political news/commentary blog while he’s in a low-level position for a mid-range news outlet. donna never met freeride, but the drama minor really stuck with her, and it turned out that she was like, really good at being a musical theatre actress. after she graduated, she decided to pursue it full-time.

another difference in this au is that i would kind of reverse the roles. i think that donna would be analogous to jamie, while josh would fill cathy’s place.

i just ended up mapping the whole thing out chronologically by song, so that starts under the cut.

goodbye until tomorrow- donna and josh meet and sleep together. there’s a sense in both directions that they’ve met their soulmate, and it’s glorious.

shiksa goddess- donna is obv not jewish, but she knows that josh is not the guy her parents would want her to date. while they are republicans, and josh’s staunchly democratic views would make them uncomfortable, it’s more of the fact that he’s super outspoken, both politically and in general.

i can do better than that- basically the same as in the musical. josh and donna drive back to josh’s hometown so she can meet his parents. josh tells her about his friend, sam, whose girlfriend got pregnant in high school, and they got married and never left town. he also tells her about his college girlfriend, amy, who blew him off after nearly a year. he doesn’t need much from donna. all he wants is her.

moving too fast- donna gets a callback for the anything goes revival, and they take a chance and cast a complete unknown as hope harcourt. she becomes an instant star, a media darling, and a huge fan favorite. (it helps that they cast big names as reno and billy, which attracts some attention to the production and allows the unknown actors for oakleigh and hope to be pulled into the spotlight.) donna’s in love, and she’s on top of the world.

climbing uphill- josh is writing furiously. he keeps submitting op-eds everywhere and applying for higher positions at other companies, but there’s always someone or some writing that’s just a little bit better. he’s kind of afraid because the underachieving husband isn’t really where he thrives—he’s always had big dreams. he’s happy that donna’s found success, but he’s kind of bitter that it’s taking her away from him so much.

the schmuel song- josh is feeling down about his career. he basically just wants to give up, stop running his blog, and not even try to go any higher at his job. donna assures him that he’s immensely talented, and that she believes in him more than anyone could ever believe in someone.

when you come home to me- josh spends most of his nights alone, trying to write something that might maybe possibly be published, while donna, he knows, is out living her dream. she’s out there doing amazing things without him, but she’ll always come home at the end of the night. he knows that she’ll always come back home to him.

the next ten minutes- yay marriage! happy fun wedding time!

a summer in ohio- josh is hired to assist at a major news outlet in ohio. it feels less fun as the summer wears on, but it looks good on his resume. he misses being separated from donna so much.

a miracle would happen- donna loves josh desperately, and she honestly would never cheat on him. however, since her run in anything goes, she’s been going to all of these events and seeing all these other people who are more successful than josh. and like, the fact that his career hasn’t really taken off isn’t a problem, but she has a feeling that something doesn’t sit right with him. she wishes he’d just be happy for her with no strings.

i’m a part of that- josh sits at opening night of broadway’s new smash hit, which is essentially a star vehicle for donna (i mean, she had to audition, but the part was always hers). he sees her fall for her love interest and it’s so convincing that josh has to tell himself that she’s thinking of him when she looks at her co-star like that (and really, donna’s just! that! good!). broadway is this whole world that he can appreciate but never fully be a part of, and josh wishes that he could be thriving like donna.

if i didn’t believe in you- as josh’s resentment for donna’s constant absence grows into resentment for her success, donna’s disappointment in josh grows, too. she is by no means disappointed in his lack of tangible accomplishment—she knows her own success is such a fluke, but she’s grateful for every minute—but the way he always seems to have reservations at her triumphs. she tells josh that she loves him deeply, profoundly, but needs more support than this.

nobody needs to know- cut? sorry. i simply don’t think that donna would do this. she might have some feelings that lie elsewhere, but no way would she actually cheat on josh.

see i’m smiling- donna takes a couple days off of the show to come see josh in ohio. he actually gets to fill in for a newscaster on saturday night, and he’s really excited for donna to come to the taping. it’s also his birthday, and he thought they were planning to spend it together, but at the last minute, donna is called back to new york to meet with a movie producer about an upcoming project. josh begs her to please come see his taping and just let them work around her schedule, but donna keeps denying him. this could be a huge opportunity for her. she can always watch the recording later and they can celebrate a week late. he makes a comment about her always being gone, and it spirals into a knock-down-drag-out fight. donna leaves for new york.

i could never rescue you- months later, after their marriage has continued to slip away despite their best efforts, donna sits him down. she says she wants a divorce. she can’t be with him anymore because they’ve tried and they’ve tried, but nothing can make him happy for her and nothing can make her not feel like her success is the cause of his lack thereof. donna’s already packed a bag. she walks out the door.

still hurting- and at last, we arrive at the beginning. donna still leaves him a letter even though they sat down in person, and josh reads it and hurts. it’s not fair. how can she just walk away from him and leave him with this heavy grief for their love?

the trouble i’m having with making this au work (not that it’s a bad idea or anything—i think it’s fantastic and heartbreaking) is that cathy and jamie (i mean, mostly jamie) are worse people than josh and donna, and i just like... i don’t really see any universe where either of them cheat on the other or where one is too self-absorbed to realize how seriously cruel they are. josh had a few moments in the show that make me go “well...” about that statement, but on the whole, they’re both really kind, considerate people.

while cathy and jamie were basically incompatible from the start, josh and donna’s marriage fails because they both don’t realize what the other’s problems are. in josh’s case, his abandonment issues take center stage, while donna feels almost wrong for succeeding.

other choices for a ww tl5y au that interest me very much include cj and toby, toby and andy, and zoey and charlie.

thank you sm for sending me this idea!!!

[eccentricextrovert]

In Defense of Jamie Wellerstein

Before I start with this post I have to preface it by saying two things. Cheating is never okay, and just because I believe that Jamie was overall the least at fault for him and Cathy’s relationship failing, it doesn’t mean that I’m not acknowledging that what he did was wrong. I’ll also be discussing this in chronological order (with the exception of goodbye until tomorrow) so if you don’t know the order I’d suggest that you look it up.

Shiksa Goddess

I’m going into this assuming you’ve at least seen the movie, so we’ll start with Shiksa Goddess. There’s two problems that a lot of people see in Shiksa Goddess. His childish demeanor, and the fact that he says “I think I could be in love with someone like you”. It’s easy to look at this line and assume that he never really loved her, which a lot of people do see it as. Something that makes just as much sense, and makes both things sound a lot better, is remembering that this is the beginning of the relationship. He’s probably not in love with her yet honestly, and yah he’s really childish and playful, but that’s because he’s deliberately trying to make her laugh. It’s exciting for him!

Moving Too Fast

I know I skipped I Can Do Better Than That but I’m discussing everything for that song under I Could Never Rescue You/ Goodbye Until Tomorrow. There isn’t any major controversies for this song that I can see so I just want to point out how much context this song gives Jamie’s character in all. He went from in the same place career wise as Cathy to suddenly successful in two seconds, and a lot of their issues stem from that problem. He calls Cathy mid song to say he’ll move in with her because that’s the logical next step. He’s in love with her, he’s now financially stable, why not move in together, right? Even though he wasn’t sure before, Jamie feels like it’s what he’s meant to do at this point, which is the case for a lot of his actions. He’s immature and a lot less experienced than Cathy when it comes to serious relationships, and he follows what’s expected of him.

Climbing Uphill

Climbing Uphill is the song that cements exactly why they don’t work, in various ways. Cathy’s extreme insecurity with herself is put on full display here, as well as her failures in her career. In no way is it her fault that she hadn’t made her big break yet, but the way she handles it is different.

Cathy sees her relationship with Jamie as a competition, at least in regards to their careers. She can’t handle that he’s already getting all of the praise for his work that she craves for hers, and she just keeps being put down at every turn.

It’s particularly telling that while he’s doing a reading of his book, all she can think about is her own insecurities. She’s at an event that’s about him and all she can focus on is how she has to be successful too, instead of taking a moment to support him. It’s something that happens a few times in the movie.

Another thing is the excerpt Jamie is reading. It’s about someone who’s so focused on what he’s doing, and trying to win, to the point where it’s suffocating, and he can’t even hear the person he’s competing with tell him “don’t let me win”. It’s an interesting parallel for Jamie and Cathy’s relationship.

The Schmuel Song

Okay so this song is really pure so there isn’t much to talk about, but it does show more about their relationship. When Cathy feels down Jamie is there to lift her up, doing whatever he can to make her smile, and telling her to quit her day job so she can focus on what she’s really passionate about. Jamie gives in the relationship, and throughout the movie Cathy just takes. It isn’t intentional, but the relationship isn’t equal.

A Summer in Ohio

Cathy defines herself by her relationship with Jamie, but resents other people doing the same. In this song she’s trying to pretend everything is okay even though she hates where she is, and she’s clinging to Jamie. Her relationship with Jamie gives her worth in her eyes, and she sees him as above her in a way, as evidenced in the lyrics: “Look at me, look at him, son of a bitch I guess I’m doing something right. I finally got something right.” She maybe miserable and stuck in Ohio, but hey, at least she’s married to Jamie. She clings onto this even further with the lyrics: “and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein. That's me!” It’s ironic that she puts emphasis on her marriage to Jamie when all she’s done prior to this is reject the idea of just being a wife, but it makes her feel slightly better to think that at least she has him. It’s a very stark difference from Climbing Uphill.

A Miracle Would Happen

This song has been talked about to death, honestly. The only things I’d point out are that everyone has temptations, and he didn’t act on them at this point. Jamie was never prepared for people to be throwing themselves at him in any way, and he does stay faithful at this point because of his love for Cathy. He’s tempted, but he loves her and he shows it. Still a gross song though, I’ll admit it.

A Part Of That

Cathy keeps pretending everything is fine in their relationship, emphasizing further and further that she’s just happy to be in his life, when she obviously not. It’s an act. She’s unhappy that Jamie is so successful and that she really isn’t a part of that success, despite what she says, and the resentment continues to grow.

If I Didn’t Believe in You

Aaaaand here’s where I start having a lot more to say.

This is the point where it’s clear the relationship is doomed, if it wasn’t already clear before. Cathy completely shuts down here, giving up on the relationship. This song isn’t Jamie upset that Cathy won’t go to a party, it’s him frustrated because time and time again she refuses to support him in the same way he’s supported her, and though it’s the point that breaks the relationship ultimately, it’s also the point where it could’ve been salvaged.

In the song Jamie begs Cathy to just talk to him about everything, because he’s been there for her and wants to continue to be there for her.

“Is it really about a party, Cathy?

Can we please for a minute stop blaming

And say what you feel?

Is it just that you're disappointed

To be touring again for the summer?

Did you think this would all be much easier

Then it's turned out to be?

Well, then talk to me, Cathy

Talk to me

If I didn't believe in you

We'd never have gotten this far”

Jamie directly asks, even begs Cathy to just speak to him, and throughout the entire song she responds by leaving the room, walking away from him and the argument, not even speaking to him.

Jamie is desperately begging for Cathy to stay with him and just work this out, and she keeps shutting him down and shutting him out. He genuinely believes in her and in the relationship. This fight is the product of the entire musical, of every fault in their relationship, and he’s trying to say what he’s been pushing since the beginning. He believes in her. He’s been fine with giving this whole time because he knows she can be something special, but her own insecurities and doubt and jealously have been slowly eating her alive.

Every time he moves one step forward, she moves one step back. That’s the theme of their relationship. It’s everywhere, from the story structure, to the literal lyrics, to the excerpts from his book. They can’t both be happy at the same time. She’s been letting herself fall as he rises.

She may not ever say it, but all of her actions point to the conclusion he draws. She wants him to lose so that she can finally win. It’s not a conscious thought, or something she’d ever admit to herself, but it’s their dynamic. He gives and she takes. She loses and he wins.

He’s yelling, trying to reach her, but she keeps ignoring him. Even bringing up their wedding, and the promise he made to her, that they made to each other, does nothing. He begs her to put on her dress not to go to a stupid party, but so they can move past the fight. He’s the one that’s putting in the effort to fix things. Jamie is the only person who ever brings up the issues that separate them. Cathy just wants to pretend that none of their issues exist.

Nobody Needs To Know

I’m just gonna say it. I understand why Jamie cheated. I don’t condone it or agree with it, and I think the relationship should’ve ended long before this point, but his motivations weren’t inherently bad.

Jamie wanted to feel something. Cathy and Jamie’s relationship was incredibly toxic on both ends, and he was tired of switching between being iced out or having to pretend everything was fine. Jamie’s cheating is so clearly not about sex, but most people ignore that because of his earlier thoughts.

In ‘A Miracle Would Happen’ Jamie is longing to be with other women, but it’s clearly about attraction. The language he uses and the framing of all of the shots makes it clear that it’s about sex there. It’s easier to resist cause it’s just a pretty face or a nice pair of boobs.

In ‘Nobody Needs To Know’ it’s tender and remorseful. There’s not a trace of the Jamie we meet in ‘Shiksa Goddess’ who was so full of life. Jamie is tired, and he’s angry, and he just wants to feel something.

The way this song is directed is beautiful, and further helps illustrate this point.

In ‘Shiksa Goddess’ Jamie was confident, and things were fun for him. He was clearly dominant and he was constantly making jokes to lighten the mood. Everything is filmed to make things very bright. It’s clearly exciting for him.

In ‘Nobody Needs To Know’ Jamie is painfully aware at every moment that what he’s doing is wrong, but he can’t bring himself to care anymore.

His body language is consistently submissive. He’s being reassured. He needs comfort and he’s finding it in the worst place. He’s desperately clinging to any human contact, anyone that can be present, because Cathy’s stopped doing that. It isn’t even the fact that she’s physically away, but the lack of the calls that they used to have when she went to Ohio. Everything about his relationship with Cathy that he loved is gone, and he’s seeking anything he can get from anywhere he can get it.

“Cathy is waiting...

Look at us, lying here

Dreaming, pretending

I made a promise and I took a vow

I wrote a story

And we changed the ending

Cathy, just look at me now!”

He feels awful about what he’s doing and he doesn’t for a second try to justify it, acknowledging that his mistakes are deliberate now. Even just compared to other musical theatre songs about cheating (*cough* Hamilton *cough*) it’s so clearly not about the actual act. It’s interesting that Jamie is so villified, to the point where there’s articles calling him the “worst musical character ever”, when he’s so clearly remorseful.

See I’m Smiling

This is Cathy’s song to reach out to Jamie, at least in a way. She’s still pretending nothing is wrong, but she finally realized just how far they’ve drifted from each other.

The problem with Cathy is that even when she’s trying to reach out she’s still distant. I feel awful for her, but I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if she would’ve accepted his offer of coming back on Monday. Cathy cannot physically handle Jamie’s career getting in the way of things again, and it’s pretty much over from here. Ironically, this is the only time Cathy is open and honest about how she feels in the whole musical.

Cathy believes that Jamie is self absorbed, and calls him out on it, as well as his flirting. The “little girlfriends” comment is entirely justified at this point, but honestly? I wouldn’t call Jamie a selfish person. In every instance where he’s made things about him, it’s been about his career. He values his career, but he’s also been pushing Cathy towards hers.

The only instance in The Last Five Years where Jamie isn’t there for Cathy when she needs him is this, and it’s after she made it very clear that she doesn’t support his work. The only time Cathy ever took pride in Jamie was in ‘A Summer in Ohio’, which is the only time that she’s had something close to a success, and even then she hates what’s happening. Meanwhile, the only time Jamie hasn’t been there for Cathy is this. The entire movie all Jamie does is uplift Cathy to get every part of him eaten away, and this one time he chooses his career above her, and even though he tries to find a compromise she won’t listen.

Cathy is a good person, but at this point in her life a relationship with Jamie just can’t work. It’s been dragged on for too long, and if it keeps going it’ll consume both of them.

I Could Never Rescue You/ Goodbye Until Tomorrow

Jamie couldn’t face Cathy to leave her. If Jamie had tried to talk about leaving it would’ve ended up another fight that went nowhere, and another fight that nothing got done in. He still loved Cathy. If he didn’t still love her these songs wouldn’t have been combined.

Jamie left Cathy alone in a house she couldn’t afford, with nothing but a letter and his ring. It was a dick move, but it was the only way it could’ve ended. The letter was a call back to ‘I Can Do Better Than That’, and not just in the way that most people take it as. Jamie was literally saying that Cathy could do better than him, whether it be alone, or with someone else. Cathy couldn’t have continued to grow in their relationship, and neither could Jamie. They were stuck at at impasse. Their entire relationship was incredibly unhealthy and the only thing they could do was split.

Divorce is a long process. There’s countless papers to sign and lawyers to meet with, and Jamie left Cathy, not the other way around. He cheated on her and then left her. Cathy is a hundred percent getting fat alimony checks.

Jamie loved Cathy though. Jamie gave everything he had to their relationship, constantly picking Cathy up when she was down. Leaving her was probably the hardest thing Jamie did in his life, but he had to do it for both of their sakes. With Jamie gone Cathy can grow into the person she was meant to be. Neither of them will suffocate each other this way.

I just really don’t understand the people that claim that Jamie didn’t love Cathy. Everything he did was for her. He put everything he had into their relationship and got nothing out of it but being with Cathy. Even his book, the thing that drove them apart, the only thing he held above her, was dedicated to Cathy.

[jack-katz]

closing nights and early flights

The last day of a run was always the longest, slowest, and grayest in Jack’s eyes. He knew that wonderful things were waiting for him just the next morning, on the other end of a long flight, but it didn’t make the day exciting. It was just further proof that this chapter, this show, was coming to an end. Everything he’d poured his heart and soul and blood and sweat into for months was going to end with a swift closing of the curtains. 

He’d no longer be Jamie Wellerstein. He’d no longer get up every night and make an audience giggle as he sang to his Shiksa goddess or mutter disapprovingly as he unwound himself from yet another woman that wasn’t his wife. He’d never again bow to an audience with stinging tears in his eyes after he begged for his wife to accept their marriage was over. Just twenty-eight, the savior of writing.

All day, every day, for a whole week, he’d be just Jack. Unmarried, uncommitted, and unremarkable. Just twenty-eight, the savior of nothing.

When he got to the theater, Eloise was buzzing and the director was grumbling. Eloise had a job lined up starting the next week, the director definitely didn’t. Worse, Eloise’s next gig was as a director. Jack steered clear and drank tea in his changing room, chair facing away from the mirror as he flipped mindlessly through magazines and newspaper and scrolled through social media. It took several warning knocks and calls at his door for him to finally leave in time for the show.

Eloise’s scene was first, and for a split second before Jack was to go on, he was suddenly terrified he’d forgotten all the words to every song. Every line was out of his head, there was nothing but blank space between his ears. What was worse - to forget lines on opening night or closing night? Was closing night only significant to the actors and crew? Did it even matter that much to everyone else, like it mattered to him? Were they not all amputating a limb they felt they’d just finished painfully growing out?

The music started, he was on stage nearly a moment too late - 

“I’m breaking my mother’s heart!”

It all came back as quickly as it’d gone from his mind, and the rollicking number that had more movement than any other scene in the play was off. Pillows and blankets flew through the air, furniture was nothing more than a point to jump and leap off of, and Eloise took every bit of inspiration from a rag doll as she was surprised with every turn, twirl, and dip she was directed through.

The scenes changed so rapidly there was barely time for Jack to dash off to quick change and get back before Eloise was out singing again. It was a breathtaking, heart-pounding ten seconds as he did all he could to prepare to be kicked back out into the public. 

Normally, with the way the lights adjusted and where he had to run stage left, he might catch sight of the few people sitting in the front row right before the often covered set of stairs that led up to the stage. Normally, they were no more than a blur of colors and flashes off jewelry. Normally.

But there’d never quite been all that much that was normal about Natasha, not to Jack. 

He saw her ankle tattoo as he dipped backstage, and he knew immediately that it was her, but he couldn’t waste a single second thinking about her. The show must go on, and he had a betrayed wife who was seven seconds away from a slew of compliments turned accusations. All he could do, as Eloise sang and as Natasha sat there, was listen. Never once was he supposed to look near stage left, and never once did he. The tattoo was enough to send him on the verge of spiraling on his final night in Jamie’s shoes. If he saw her face he’d be a torn up version of himself at the bottom of the spiral, a heap on the stage.

Stage right this time, to change into a sport coat that’s not so bougie looking. Deep breath, and -

“Did I just hear an alarm start ringing, did I hear sirens go flying past...”

All smiles and bright eyes, and nothing shy of it until he was back in the fancy suit jacket and milling about with other woman at a party he was in attendance with his wife. He was far enough back on the stage that there was no chance of seeing Natasha, not until it was time to come back out with the air of the world’s greatest festive story-teller.

“Schmuel would work ‘til half past ten at his tailor shop in Klimovich...”

The scene was always the hottest, physically. He was wearing a heavy winter sweater along with a hat and a scarf to use as props throughout the piece. Thankfully, the choreography called for it all to be removed multiple times throughout, but it never stopped the sweat from forming at Jack’s hairline and cupid’s bow. There was always someone waiting with a few tissues so he could quickly blot away the sweat before tearing off the excess clothes. 

The upbeat tune that played from around the curtain didn’t quite beat within his chest the way his own songs had. Jamie’s time for dancing and joking around was done, which meant so was Jack’s. There were serious times ahead for Jamie. A hand in marriage to ask for, a heart in marriage to break.

“No that one’s Jerry Seinfeld, that one’s John Lennon there...”

A quick tie change and then the music was a faster tempo yet again, but there was no more time for bright eyes. Just wandering eyes. Restrained wandering eyes. It did cross Jack’s mind to let his own eyes wander back to the tattoo, but not tonight. Not on closing night.

“Everyone tells you that the minute you get married, every other woman in the world suddenly finds you attractive...”

Exit stage left, right when Natasha was adjusting how she sat. The lighting was dim, but not so dim he couldn’t see the tattoo again and then her hands as they smoothed out her dress. Jack hadn’t rushed off-stage but he was out of breath. He couldn’t really catch his breath again until several lines into the next song.

“There are people, and they are publishing my book, and there’s a party that they are throwing...”

Jack tore the tie off the second he was out of sight, tore the button-up shirt off to reveal the t-shirt that’d been hiding underneath all along. He wanted to tear that off, too, tear everything off. Get it together. It was Cathy’s turn to be happy and bubbly and uptempo. He just had to go along for the ride, until he was driven right off stage again and pulled on a pajama top. What a rich prick character Jamie was, having special flannel tops just to sleep in.

“Hey kid, good morning, you look like an angel...”

It was too vital of a song for Jack to allow himself one glance near Natasha. He could feel himself starting to unravel, bit by bit, just behind his ribs. As his heart ribboned into his stomach, his brain suddenly felt like a busy telephone connection board. Everything was blinking, everything was on fire, everything was shredding, and he hadn’t even seen her face yet.

“Perfectly balanced, and then I start making, the conscious, deliberate mistakes...”

Last time he saw her face she’d been dressed up like a ladybug, they’d been broken up for two years, she was with someone else, and he got blackout drunk. What had she been up to since then?

“All that I ask for is one little corner, one private room at the back of my heart, tell her I found one, she sends out battalions to claim it and blow it apart; I grip, and she grips, and faster we’re sliding, sliding and spilling and what can I do?”

It wasn’t a song to sing almost on autopilot, but he’d done it and barely realized until nearly the end. Exit stage left. He didn’t try to not glance up, and he didn’t even try to make it subtle. It was closing night, who cared?

He saw her face, saw her smile, and was suddenly so numb all over he barely noticed the poking and prodding of people changing out his shirt. There was the cue to get back onstage, a cue maybe he should’ve missed, but something more instinctual took over. It was closing night, and he cared.

Jamie Wellerstein still had more to say before the curtain could go down.

“All I could do was love you, and let you go...

No matter how I tried, all I could do was love you, God, I loved you so...

So we could fight, or we cold wait, or I could go...”

The world was suddenly small, made up of no more than a little, darkened cylinder as Jack exchanged his last lines with Eloise for the foreseeable future.

“Good-bye, Cathy...

Gooooooooood-byyyyyyyeeeeee!”

There seemed to be no air in the increasingly small cylinder as Jamie Wellerstein and Jack Katz parted ways.

“Good-bye...”

The dreariness and sluggishness of the day before was instantly gone. It was suddenly all moving too fast, too loud, too bright. Everyone was hugging and kissing, making plans for a final afterparty Jack wasn’t even sure he could make. An early flight had never deterred him before, but he was using it as an excuse instead of explaining why the final night felt infinitely more draining than it should’ve. It wasn’t until he was cleaning out his changing room that he had a few moments of peace, and it was of course Eloise who interrupted it by throwing some flowers at him and demanding to know why she’d heard he wouldn’t be at the party.

“Early flight,” he explained as briefly as possible and tossed his phone into his backpack. He didn’t even want to listen to music on the way home.

“Bullshit,” Eloise snapped instantly, but she was grinning ear to ear. “You just want to go hang out with your giiiirlfriend. I went out to grab a snack before the show and saw her walking in. First of all, I’m pissed you didn’t tell me you were back together. Second-”

“I’m not seeing anyone and I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Jack let out a tired sigh before swinging his backpack over his shoulders. “Can I please leave?”

Eloise narrowed her eyes and looked entirely unconvinced of anything, but she still stepped aside. As Jack walked by, he caught a whiff of vodka and assumed people started drinking instantly after the performance ended. He was tired and for once glad he hadn’t taken part in any drinking or else he might’ve fallen asleep on the train home. Some more people tried to encourage him to go to the party before he found his way out of the building, but he just kept giving his same excuse and returning any words or praise or gratitude from the cast and crew.

It might’ve been easier and quicker to take an Uber, but Jack wanted a little bit of time in fresh air, or as fresh as a city’s air ever was. He was nearly at the station when he saw the ankle tattoo again, sticking out as she crossed one leg over the other and leaned against a building while another woman she was with smoked outside a pub. Jack vaguely remembered the woman from a couple parties with Natasha’s old university friends. The friend was dressed head to toe in designer clothes, clearly the kind of person who wouldn’t think twice about buying front row tickets. 

There were a few options before him and Jack wasn’t sure what to follow: cross the street, walk by and say nothing, or walk by and say a quick hello? The fourth option occurred, wherein Natasha’s friend spotted Jack walking and immediately drew Natasha’s attention to him. When she turned to look at him, Jack immediately felt numb again and forced himself to take a few deep breaths as he got closer so he might appear to be breathing normally once he was closer. The first two things he noticed were a new scar on the back of her wrist and that she was still wearing the same perfume. 

“Hey...” he muttered, sounding more awkward now than he ever had when he was twelve and trying to talk to girls. He didn’t look directly at Natasha, instead nodding toward the other woman. “You two were at the show, right? Enjoy it?”

“Yes, just the two of us, it was lovely,” the woman said matter-of-factly before putting out her cigarette. “I’m heading inside to get some drinks. Leave you two to catch up.”

Jack went to speak but he had absolutely nothing to say, and he was forced after a few seconds to finally look at Natasha. She was still leaning against the building but had shifted her stance so she was squarely facing Jack.

“So...the show was just lovely?” It was the only thing he could manage to say that wouldn’t send him into a panic attack after the words came out. Do you still think of me?, was a bit heavy-handed.

Natasha cracked a small smile and nodded. “It was great. She just prefers, uh...flashier musicals. It really was great.” She pushed off the building and started speaking a little faster. “I’m not just saying that. I actually had no idea you were in it. She was supposed to go with her sister, but things fell through and she asked me and I didn’t even look it up or anything. It was just a coincidence.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure not to think that I’d be talented enough for someone to want to see a show after finding out I’m in it.”

“That’s not what I-”

“I know, I know.” He couldn’t help himself from smiling a little as he watched the unease and anxiety that had just blossomed up quickly dissipate from Natasha’s face. “How’ve you been?”

“Um...busy. But not as busy. We were able to hire a couple more people to help out with administrative and operations and stuff, so that’s really helped the workload. Still, you know, busy. How about you?” 

She was twisting her hands together as she spoke and Jack felt his fingers twitch slightly, wanting to reach out to and pull her hands apart to hold them in his. “Uh, well, it was closing night so I’m all done with that. Starting in like a week and a half on filming for an HBO thing. Uncovered, that’s what it’s called. And I’m flying out to Peru tomorrow for a trip.”

Natasha squinted slightly as she nodded and smiled a little. “Uh-huh, uh-huh, so super casual and not busy at all, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Jack hooked his thumbs around his backpack, smile growing just a little bit bigger as he watched her hands relax and fall to her sides. He gestured in the direction he’d been coming from. “Pretty early flight, so I have to get going...”

“Oh, of course!��� She started making sweeping motions with her hands as if to hurry him off. “I’m sorry we kept you. Enjoy your trip! Bring a water bottle and sunscreen!”

Jack nodded and started off, cheeks flushed and warm though the rest of his body felt like it was covered in goose bumps. The savage internal unraveling before had turned into something gentler, a light, tickling trickle from his heart to his belly. When he got to the corner he paused, suddenly entirely uncertain if he’d packed any sunscreen at all or had a clean water bottle for the trip. It wasn’t like he had time when he got home to go through everything he’d packed in a rush that morning or do a bunch of dishes. 

He lifted his toes and twisted to and fro on his heels a few times before slapping his toes back down and turning suddenly. He took long strides to get back to the pub quickly without breaking into a run, and got there just in time to find Natasha and her friend just inside the doorway. He swung it open to find two startled pairs of eyes staring at him.

“Do you want to come?” Jack asked, a bit more out of breath than he should’ve been from a brisk walk. Could it possibly be nerves? Without a doubt.

“To the train?” Natasha inquired, clearly puzzled and still frozen in a position with her drink half to her mouth.

“No. To Peru.”

[sapienveneficus]

Elsie Fest 2017: My Ramblings

I want to begin by stating that I had a great time at Elsie Fest this year. I wanted to say that upfront because there are a few aspects of last night's show I plan to criticize, and I don't want anyone to come away from reading my reflection thinking I didn't enjoy myself. Just because something wasn't perfect, doesn't mean it wasn't fun.

I went to the very first Elsie Fest back in 2015. The performances that day, one after the other, were epic in the truest sense of the word. I don't think I'll ever recover from watching Lea Salonga sing I'll Give My Life for You, or Leslie Odom Jr. and Aaron Tveit duet on What You Own, or Laure Osnes debut Love Will Come and Find Me Again from Bandstand, or Team Starkid coming together with Darren to sing Going Back to Hogwarts. What a night! However, in spite of all of that awesome, the venue was terrible. It was basically a slab of concrete floating in the Hudson River. And general admission ticket holders were just penned in behind a metal fence facing the barely raised stage. I was lucky enough to get a spot along that fence which meant I had a great view of the stage. But that also meant that I had to spend the next 9 and a half hours pressed against that fence in order to keep my great view. That experience was, in a word, unpleasant. Now, I'm not saying it wasn't worth it, but I am saying I wasn't in a hurry to go through it again.

So when 2016 rolled around, I was excited about Elsie Fest but crossing fingers and toes that the organizers would choose a better venue. When it was announced that they'd chosen Coney Island, my reaction was mixed. On the one hand, I was glad to hear that there'd be some shade and potentially places to sit down. But on the other hand, I knew it'd be next to impossible to get all the way out to Coney Island right smack in the middle of Labor Day weekend. And then when I saw the lackluster list of performers they'd gotten (when compared with that first year's bill) I decided to give Elsie Fest 2016 a pass.

That brings me to this year. When I heard that Elsie Fest would be in Central Park over Columbus Day weekend, I was thrilled. Both the location and the timing sounded perfect to me. When the list of performers was first announced, I was less than thrilled. To go from living Broadway legends like Aaron Tveit, Lea Salonga, Laura Osnes, and Leslie Odom Jr. to Lea Michele (whose voice I do like, don't get me wrong) and Alan Cumming (again, not an untalented fellow, but he doesn't exactly have a powerhouse voice), to me seemed like a major step down. I also wasn't too thrilled with a few of the other changes that had been made. The price of general admission tickets had risen substantially (from $40 to $60) and the length of the show had been more than cut in half (from 8.5 hours to 3.5 hours). Despite my reservations, I decided to give Elsie Fest 2017 a chance.

I ended up arriving in Central Park just after 4PM Sunday afternoon. I joined the already growing line of concertgoers (the venue was set to open at 5PM) and spent the next hour chatting with other excited fans. My line experience was definitely a positive one. I saw t-shirts and buttons from just about every fandom under the sun being worn proudly by fans of all ages. Though I was baffled by the sight of one man's shirt. It contained 3 large ears of corn with cats splayed out on top of each one, all set against an outer-space backdrop. As that man walked by my spot in line, I remember thinking, “Is Corn Cats in Space a thing? I've heard of Supernatural, Riverdale, Doctor Who, and Rick and Morty, but not whatever that guy was sporting. Am I that out of touch?” Anyhow, while the line was fun, things only got better once we were let inside the venue. I'd just found the perfect spot to set up my blanket (center back of the first section) when I got swept up into a Broadway singalong led by two Marie's Crisis employees. That first hour passed quickly as a growing audience of theater fanatics sang along to hits from Hairspray, Grease, Rent, Wicked, Hamilton, and Les Mis. The singalong was so fun, in fact, that I almost didn't want the show to start. The guys chose to end it with One Day More from Les Mis (a wise choice). They got things started and were then joined on stage by Keala Settle and Norm Lewis who helped lead a few parts. What a way to wrap up a showtunes singalong!

So, still riding high from amazing moment, the crowd was more than ready for Jeremy Jordan's set to kick things off. And he did not disappoint. He began with Broadway, Here I Come from Smash. Now, I never got into Smash (don't come for me, Smash fans) but this first song was catchy, and he sang it incredibly well so I was on board. That led into a performance of Shiksa Goddess from The Last Five Years that had the crowd going nuts. Talk about charisma; Jeremy Jordan is one charismatic guy! He followed that up with his go-to shower song, At Last by Etta James, and his high school band's go-to cover song, Semi Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. To close out his set, he did a Disney medley to end all Disney medleys. I recognized songs from Aladdin, Little Mermaid, Hunchback, Hercules, and Newsies, and I'm sure there were more in there. In short, Jeremy performed the perfect set for a show like Elsie Fest. I'd bet anything he'd watched Aaron Tveit's set from 2015 and had taken notes. He made sure to pick songs that the audience both knew and loved, catering heavily to millennials as they were the clear majority in that crowd, and he introduced each number with a delightful story. He had that audience eating out of the palm of his hand, and he left us all wanting more. I wish the other performers that night had followed his example.

Lea Michele's set was good, but it lacked the energy Jeremy's. She performed a few of her Glee hits (Don't Rain on My Parade, Maybe This Time, My Man, and Make You Feel My Love), did one of her original songs, Run to You, and did Falling Slowly with Darren. I can't fault any of the numbers themselves because she sang them all well enough. I think, though, her set really needed two things to take it from good to great. First, her stage presence needed work. She really struggled to connect with the audience. I think a funny story or two between numbers would have helped. Second, I think she needed to do an upbeat or modern Broadway song that hadn’t been on Glee. I'd have loved to see her do a Hamilton number or something from Spring Awakening. Heck, I'd have settled for Sonya Alone from Great Comet (since Ingrid didn't do it). I think telling a story about a show she's seen recently and loved and then singing a song from that show would have been a great addition to her set. A throwback story to her days in Spring Awakening and one of those songs would also have been great. I saw a video on YouTube of her doing Blue Wind a few years back, and she killed it. So, yeah, I enjoyed Lea's set, but it could have been better. Oh, and one more thing. This was completely out of Lea's control so I don't blame her in the slightest, but I was really hoping that Jonathan Groff would show up to do a surprise duet with her. He'd done it before, at one of her concerts, and I was really hoping he'd do it again. This event couldn't have been more perfect for a stunt like that, but I guess he must have been away doing press for his new Netflix show. Sigh, maybe next year.

Alan Cumming's set is where things went from good to bad real fast. Let me say first, that I like Alan Cumming. I think he's a talented performer. That said, his set was a poor fit for Elsie Fest. It started off okay. He sang Keane's Somewhere Only We Know, a nice throwback for all the Glee fans in attendance, and then did Mein Herr from Cabaret. He even started to tell a funny story about going back to Cabaret 16 years later which quickly transitioned into an ad for his newly opened club in the East Village (very subtle). Then he decided to introduce What More Can I Say from Falsettos with just what the night needed, a lecture on politics. To say that the crowd's energy was brought down by that lecture/number would be an understatement. Then he went into a mashup of Adele's Someone Like You and Gaga's Edge of Glory, and I remember thinking, “Okay, course correction, maybe he can still salvage this.” After that number he then went on to tell a rather mean-spirited anecdote about how all those songs sound the same. And while, yes, pop songs are similar, the way he said it was derisive and again brought the audience out of the good mood they'd just started to get back into. Someone really needed to take him aside for a moment and remind him that he was at a concert to celebrate Broadway and its fans. But, of course, no one did so he then went into a very short Sondheim mashup designed to prove that all his songs are the same too. This one didn't bother me as much as I am not one to worship at the altar of Sondheim, but this was where he lost the rest of the crowd. Some of the older people near me walked away. Then, after another political lecture, he chose to end his set with Ladies Who Lunch (not exactly a crowd pleaser). I'm not sure who he was meant to be performing for at this point, he'd already lost the millenials and pissed off the older, die-hard Sondheim fans. Most of the audience had either gone to the restrooms or had taken out their phones. But despite all that, he pressed on with his odd choice, then told the audience yet again to #resist, and left.

Suffice it to say, Darren had his work cut out for him going into this last set. I'd say he succeeded in getting the crowd back and ending things well, but there were a few things I'd have done differently. Ingrid Michaelson and Auli'i Cravalho were both great additions. Auli'i sounded great on her signature song from Moana, and wow is that young lady poised! She seemed so comfortable on that stage. She even called Darren out for calling her character a princess, their lighthearted back and forth was both delightful and needed! Ingrid Michaelson gave a soulful performance of Somewhere That's Green in honor of her late father. That was honestly one of the highlights of the night for me. Her other two numbers were also lovely, but that one stood out. Keala Settle did a new song from the upcoming movie The Greatest Showman which was okay. I mean, she was great, but the song was just okay. Norm Lewis, on the other hand, only performed one song, and it was a disappointment. Now, I understand his reluctance to do a song from his current show, Sweeney Todd, and that's certainly fair enough. I could also see how he might be a bit tired of Les Mis. Also fair, but he didn't do a Broadway number at all. He sang What's Going On by Marvin Gaye and peppered his performance with more political interjections. Putting aside the politics, why any performer come to Elsie Fest, perform a single song, and not have it be a Broadway song? If he was having trouble choosing a song to perform, I'm sure the audience would have been all too happy to offer suggestions. Personally, I was hoping he'd do Dust and Ashes from Great Comet. He's got the perfect voice for it. But literally any Broadway song would have been better than none at all.

As for Darren's songs, he performed them well. He's also got an infectious charisma. Every time I see him, it’s just such a joy to watch him perform. That said, I wish he'd worked a few new numbers into his set. I'm not saying cut out Teenage Dream. I'd happily listen to him perform his version of that song well into his 80s. But One Fine Day and I Dreamed a Dream should have been replaced with two new Broadway numbers. Darren's a guy who sees everything on Broadway. Much like with Lea, I'd have loved to hear a story or two about some new show he's seen and then watch him perform a song from it. That aside, one welcome addition to his set was Granger Danger. I was thrilled that he'd convinced Jenna Ushkowitz to join him for that song. Those two singing together was another highlight of the night for me. And while his set may not have been perfect, I think he found the perfect ending. He closed out the night with Tom Petty's Free Fallin'. Given that the performer had just passed away, it was a fitting tribute, and Darren sang it beautifully.

This last bit isn’t related to any one particular performer, but I had to include it for posterity’s sake. Before Lea Michele came out to do her set, she was introduced by Satan himself, Ryan Murphy. The crowd applauded for him, as any polite crowd still coming off a Jeremy Jordan high would, but as that applause began to die down, I booed, loudly. So loudly that people turned to stare at me. My response to their questioning looks, “I’m a Glee fan.” So to all those glee fans who weren’t able to be there in person. I wanted you all to know that someone booed the man in the yellow hat on your behalf. 

And that's all there is. Thank you for reading my Elsie Fest ramblings. Who knows? Maybe one of the organizers will find this and take my suggestions to heart. Regardless, if Elsie Fest stays in Central Park, I will definitely be back for 2018!

[theparkertingle]

College

Run Freedom Run, Urinetown (audio)

Chateau D'If, The Count of Monte Cristo (audio, video)

Act 1 Finale, The Count of Monte Cristo (video)

Goodbyes, The Count of Monte Cristo (video)

Lily’s Eyes, The Secret Garden (video)

Rock of Ages

2009 Tony Performance (video)

High Enough (video)

Every Rose Has Its Thorns (video)

Don’t Stop Believing, Rock of Ages Closing (video)

O’Holy Night, Rock of Ages Cast (audio)

West Side Story

Something’s Coming (broadway/hollywood bowl)

Maria (broadway/hollywood bowl)

Tonight (hollywood bowl)

One Hand, One Heart (hollywood bowl)

Heathers

Heather’s reading (video)

Freeze Your Brain (audio)

Our Love is God (audio)

Seventeen (audio)

I Can’t Do This Alone (audio)

Newsies

Newsies (broadway, papermill (message me), live hd event)

Preview footage (video)

I Never Planned On You (original lyrics audio)

The World Will Know (recording studio)

Santa Fe (broadway, bonus track version, la, orlando, michigan, Diaster!) 

Then I Saw You (papermill, second link)

Something To Believe In (broadway)

2012 Tony’s Performance (video)

Barnes & Nobles Concert (audio)

Santa Fe/Seize the Day (good morning america, the view)

Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde (broadway)

Preview footage (video)

How ‘Bout a Dance/This World Will Remember Us (florida news station)

This World Will Remember Me (broadway)

When I Drive (Joe’s pub)

This World Will Remember Us (frank & friends concert

What was Good Enough For You (frank & friends concert)

Bonnie (london, la, broadwayspotted master class)

Finding Neverland

Finding Neverland (cambridge)

Act 1: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Act 2: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Circus of Your Mind (cambridge)

Death Note

Where is the Justice? (audio)

Hurricane (audio)

Stalemate (audio)

Playing His Game (audio)

Smash

They Just Keep Moving the Line (54 below)

Cut, Print, Moving On (video)

High and Dry (54 below)

Under Pressure (54 below)

Hitlist

Hitlist (audio)

Hitlist Miscast Medley (54 below)

Broadway Here I Come (la, tv, 54 below, london)

Rewrite This Story (54 below, tv)

If I Had You (54 below)

I Heard Your Voice in a Dream (54 below, tv, la)

Don’t Let Me Know (54 below, tv)

Caught in a Storm (54 below)

Calling Out my Name (54 below)

Heart Shaped Wreckage (54 below, la, tv)

The Love I Meant To Say (tv)

The Goodbye Song (54 below, tv)

The Last Five Years

Shiksa Goddess (audio)

Moving Too Fast (audio, hollywood, abs news)

The Schmuel Song (audio)

The Next Ten Minutes (audio)

A Miracle Would Happen / When You Come Home To Me (audio)

If I Didn’t Believe in You (audio)

Nobody Needs to Know (audio)

Goodbye Until Tomorrow (audio)

Breaking Character Concert / Other (solo) Concerts

Anthem, Chess (hollywood)

Moving Too Fast, The Last Five Years (hollywood)

Broadway Here I Come (hollywood)

Heart Shaped Wreckage (hollywood)

I Heard Your Voice in a Dream (hollywood)

Heaven (hollywood)

Maybe I’m Amazed, Joyful Noise (hollywood)

I’m Not Good Enough, Jeremy Jordan original (hollywood) 

Revelation, Jeremy Jordan original (hollywood)

Losing My Mind, Follies (hollywood, 54 below)

Santa Fe, Newsies (hollywood)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow (hollywood, 54 below, london)

Bonnie, Bonnie and Clyde (hollywood)

Let It Go, Frozen (hollywood)

Chipotle, Avenue Q-esque (hollywood)

Under Water, Jeremy Jordan original (p1, p2)

I’m Not, Jeremy Jordan original (london)

Memories of Losing You, Jeremy Jordan original (london)

Take Me or Leave Me, Rent (london, london video)

Jeremy and Ben’s Medley (video, audio)

Smiles/I’ll Be Seeing You (london)

New Shoes (london)

Parade In Concert

Parade (message me for full bootleg)

Act 1: p1, p2, p3, p4, p5

This Is Not Over Yet (rehearsal)

All the Wasted Time (audio)

Miscast

Let Me Be Your Star, Smash (2013)

Who Will Love Me As I Am?, Side Show (2013)

Let It Go, Frozen (2014)

Cell Block Tango, Chicago (2015)

Don’t Rain on My Parade, Funny Girl (2015)

Sondheim 

A Bed and a Chair (video)

Another Hundred People, Company (video)

Giants in the Sky, Into The Woods (audio)

Opening Doors, Merrily We Roll Along (video)

Miscellaneous Musical

Ten Minutes Ago/The Next Ten Minutes, Cinderella/The Last Five Years (video, video)

Come What May, Moulin Rouge (54 below)

I’ll Never Pass This Way Again, Civil War (frank & friends)

Sarah, Civil War (frank & friends)

The Ultimate Disney Princess Power Ballad Medley (disney magic)

Disney Medley (trevor project)

Why, God, Why?, Miss Saigon (audio)

Anything You Can Do, Annie Get Your Gun (audio)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow/Home, The Wizard of Oz/Home (seth speaks, 54 below)

One Day More, Les Mis (carnegie hall)

The Story Goes On, Baby (beverley hilton)

The Wheel, Tuck Everlasting (video)

Everything is Coming Up Roses, Gypsy (feinstein’s at the nikko)

Rocky City, See Rock City and Over Destinations (audio)

Out of the Bay, Unlock’d (audio)

Dolgaya River, Brother Russia (audio)

Lost in the Wilderness, Children of Eden (audio)

Out There, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (audio)

Miscellaneous Composers

The Answer, Joe Iconis (54 below)

Runaway With Me, Kerrigan-Lowdermilk (kerrigan-lowdermilk live

Dare To Dream, Michael Mott (with Laura Osnes, with Adrienne Warren)

Try, Michael Mott (54 below, where the sky ends concert)

Rise or Fall, Michael Mott (54 below)

Lucky, Michael Mott (where the sky ends concert)

Fleet Weak, Carner & Gregor (an evening of carner & gregor)

Wall Lovin’, Carner & Gregor (an evening of carner & gregor)

Snapshot In My Memory, Carner & Gregor (video)

Stay Awhile, Carner & Gregor (2009, 2010, 2010, 2014)

Tie Me Up, Carner & Gregor (54 below)

Traffic Island Song, Carner & Gregor (video)

So Many Windows, Carner & Gregor (audio)

No Turning Back Now, Drew Gaspirini (live, recorded)

I Am Yours, Jonathan Reid Gealt (video)

Here For You, Jonathan Reid Gealt (studio version)

If the World Looked Like You, Will Reynolds (laurie beechman theater)

This Year, Will Reynolds (bright lights concert series)

Greenwood Tree Suite, Will Reynolds (the songs of will reynolds)

Just Ahead, Will Reynods (the songs of will reynolds)

The Violet Hour, Eric Price and Will Reynolds (54 below)

Rooftops, Caleb Hoyer (laurie beechman theater)

Drift, Kooman & Dimon (video)

Get Up and Go, Joey Contreras (audio)

Prepared, Georgia Stitt (54 below)

She, Georgia Stitt (54 below)

Carry Me Up, Andrew Satomayor (laurie beechman theater)

Please Don’t Let Me Go, Scott Alan (audio)

Other

I’ve Told You Now, Sam Smith (54 below)

It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, Celine Dion (54 below)

Beauty and the Beast, Celine Dion (54 below)

Total Eclipse of the Heart, U2 (54 below)

Some Boys, Death Cab for Cutie (54 below)

This Will Be Our Year/The Way I Feel Inside, The Zombies (54 below)

I’ll Be Home for Christmas (54 below)

Creeptastic, the Skivvies (54 below)

More Than Anyone, Gavin DeGraw (audio)

Was I A Trooper Mom?  (today)

Love is a Many Splendid Thing/Mona Lisa/Atcheson, Topeka & Santa Fe/ All the Way/Moon River (pasadena symphony)

Breathe Again (feinstein’s at the nikko)

Gonna Be Alright, Laura Molina (music video)

The National Anthem (2011, 2014)

Put a Little Love in Your Heart, Jackie DeShannon (the flash)

Hark, Hark, the Lark, The Greenwood Tree (audio)

Who is Slyvia? The Greenwood Tree (audio)

Tangled

 I Will Make You Have Faith in Me (d23) 

[deafwestnewsies]

Love’s More Romantic Unplanned

...and that’s the miracle of judaism.

cross posted to my ao3! check it out! 

Jack grabbed Davey’s wrist as he turned to walk away. “Wait!” He yelped, causing Davey to scoff and turn around.

“What, Jack?” Davey was tired. Tired of acting like it was some secret, like he had to reveal it to the whole world. It wasn’t that crazy! Tons of people were just like him. Kath had took it really well when Sarah told her, and now they were dating!

Jack looked at a loss for words. “I- I… I should have known when I met you by the orthodox synagogue.” Davey raised an eyebrow. “I should have known when I saw you buying extra lox at the bagel shop.”

“What does lox have to do with anything-” Davey asked annoyed, but Jack cut him off.

“I should have known, you’re not to blame! I should have known we’re not the same.” Davey rolled his eyes and tried to yank his wrist out of Jack’s grip, but he held fast. “It doesn’t take an Einstein, you and Sarah have the nose and the name! And that name is Stienstien.”

“My last name is Jacobs, you know tha-”

Jack looked right in Davey’s eyes, sliding his hand down his wrist and laced their fingers together. Davey rolled his eyes again, but smiled slightly. “I’m not sure what you want me to do, but I think this is worth working through. I’ll admit that it’s a little out of the blue, but I could be Jewish for you.”

Davey’s grin widened a little more, but he still looked faintly annoyed. “Jack, you can’t just choose to be Jewish. You have to like, do things.” Jack let go of his hand and started waving his arms around like a crazy dictator.

“Like on holidays! I’ll stop baking gingerbread, start baking challah. When Hanukkah comes, heck, I’ll light the mandala!” Jack spun circles around Davey while he laughed.

Davey grabbed Jack’s shoulders and stopped his twirling. “It’s Menorah, dummy. And you don’t make the gingerbread, Specs does-”

“Menorah, then!” Jack broke free of Davey’s grip, picked up one of hands and began to dance with him ballroom style.

“If you could just choose me, I’ll sing eidledeidle not fala. As far as the culture I might need a clue, but I’ll give it a shot, ‘cause I’ve got to be Jewish for you.” They continued to dance as Jack made ridiculous claims and tried to get Davey to laugh.

“What is ‘eidledeidle’ and ‘fala’???” Davey exclaimed.

“I’ll go with you to temple, I’ll try to learn Yiddish,” Jack said.

Davey cut him off. “I don’t go to temple, and I learned Hebrew. We are a strict ‘No Yiddish’ household.”

Jack smiled wide. “I’ll start eating Kosher, I’ll even play quidditch!”

Davey shot him a pointed look, and Jack laughed. “Nope, not a Jew thing, Jack.”

“Well teach me some new things, I won’t be the slightest bit skittish! I’ll do it by note till it feels like it’s true, yeah till I’m verklempt I’ll attempt to be Jewish for you.” Now Jack was doing ridiculous leaps through the air, and Davey wondered what he was trying to prove.

“Verklempt. That’s a big word for you, Kelly.” Davey noted. Jack stopped for a moment, breathing hard after all of his strenuous dancing. While Jack stayed bent over, wiping at sweat, Davey admired the way his shirt clung slightly to his chest, highlighting all the right areas. He also appreciated the way his lips stayed parted, ruby red and slick with spit and absolutely kissable-

Jack sprang up again. “I could be Irish, or Russian or French, though Chinese is-”

“A bit of a stretch.” Davey interrupted.

“Just wait, even your Rabbi will call me a mensch. Did I mention I’ve been practicing my kvetch?!” Jack was back at the leaping and spinning until he made himself dizzy.

Davey sighed. “I’ll say it one more time. I don’t know Yiddish.”

“Fine! I will adapt where the av’rage guy freezes, and if I have to have “Just Friends” talk, I’ll have it with Jesus.” Jack scowled at the sky, as if the big man himself was speaking directly to him. “Sorry Jesus, you’re just not my type.”

Davey laughed, a full, broad sound that got Jack to smile again. “Whatever they are I could learn to like latkes!”

“My mom made you some during Hanukkah!”

“And if we have sons they’ll all have Bar Matzahs!”

While Davey glared at him, Jack doubled over in laughter. “Bar Mitzvahs, I’m joking!”

“Jack Kelly. Did you just say you want to have kids with me?”

Jack stopped for a moment, and there was a second before Jack smiled awkwardly. “I promise I know things, enough not to ruin Shabbat, ‘cause if that’s what it takes then that’s what I’ll do, just don’t run away and one day I’ll be Jewish for you.”

Davey shook his head again and started walking away. “I’ve been Jewish my whole life, you can’t just walk in here-”

Jack ran out in front of him and blocked his window opening. “Tell me you’ve never questioned one holy command.”

He tried pushing past his arm. “I’m gay, I think that questions like, eight-”

“Tell me, don’t you think love’s more romantic unplanned?”

Jack’s arm held fast, but Davey kept trying. “Oh and I’m sure Sarah, Katherine, and even that cute counter boy at Tibby’s were all unplanned.”

He looked taken aback for a moment, but looked Davey straight in the eyes. “Tell me you’re nervous, or start with the service, just tell me where you stand. Tell me “I need you!” Tell me in Hebrew!”

“Finally! Hebrew!” This pleased outburst caused Jack to smile again and whirl Davey back into dancing.

“Teach me lechayim and horcrux and oy. Just let me try. Instead of hi, I’ll say shalom till my hovel feels like home, but I won’t say goodbye, so here’s what I propose:” He said these words to a lilting tune, one that was perfect for dancing. At the end he spun Davey clumsily and set him down on the windowsill. Jack knelt down in front of him and took his hands.

“I’ll read through the Torah from cover to cover, till even Moses could see we were meant for each other.”

“I haven’t even read the whole Torah.”

“You know I adore you, so let me fight for you, together we’ll take on your mother.”

“My mom could and will kick your ass, Kelly.”

“It might be a prayer, but a prayer can come true.”

“Prayers aren’t wishes, Jack.”

“I dare you to dare me, I swear I’ll come through.”

“I don’t even know where you are half of the time!”

“When I’m with you there isn’t a thing I can’t do.”

“Oh.”

“So if you’re inclined, I won’t mind being Jewish for you.”

Davey took Jack’s face in his hands and stared into his eyes for a moment. They were filled with a quiet hope, not unusual for the dreamer, Jack Kelly. There was something new this time, something Davey hadn’t seen before. And it looked an awful lot like love.

“You’re going to have to brush up on your Hebrew,” Davey whispered before kissing Jack softly.

watch barrett wilbert weed sing this song!! she's super funny in it :))

up next: sarah sings Shiksa Goddess to katherine

i don't know shit about being jewish please correct me if i got anything wrong

also i was really tired when i wrote this please forgive me

[getyourgossip0-blog]

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

New Post has been published on http://getyourgossip.xyz/crazy-in-love-can-marriages-between-rock-superstars-ever-really-work/

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

When Beyoncé and Jay-Z flew into Salford this week, ahead of their On the Run II show in Manchester, the gossip columns noted several details: that Beyoncé wore a black hooded jacket, their children were not with them and, most provocatively, that the pair landed in separate helicopters.

The insinuation was clear: all might not be rosy. For while both musicians have enjoyed stunningly successful solo careers, it is their 15-year union that has long captured the public’s imagination: a relationship that began with a duet – 2003’s Bonnie and Clyde – and has continued through courtship, marriage, children, infidelity, two painfully confessional albums about marital difficulty and a second instalment of a joint world tour. The success of their relationship, despite the pressures and media attention, is quite remarkable.

In their shows this week, the pair have willingly referenced their relationship – videos screened home movies and apparent images of their children alongside the message “Love never changes”, but there was also footage of houses burning down and vows being renewed. And while the pair held hands and Beyoncé announced: “It makes me so happy to be on stage with the man I love”, both played songs from Lemonade and 4:44, their respective portraits of a marriage in turmoil.

Any marriage is a delicate creation, but from Ike and Tina Turner to Sonny and Cher, Notorious BIG and Faith Evans to Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, the union between two musicians has long seemed more vulnerable than most.

For some, this has fuelled their work – Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album Rumours documents the marriage breakdown of John and Christine McVie as well as the collapse of the on/off relationship between their bandmates Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. Abba began as two couples – Agnetha Fältskog and Björn Ulvaeus, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad and Benny Andersson, but as their relationships faltered their music grew in introspection and maturity. By the time of their 1981 masterpiece The Visitors, both had separated. Michelle and John Phillips’ marriage lasted only as long as the Mamas and the Papas. Jack and Meg White of the White Stripes managed to navigate the musical fame that arrived after their divorce. What makes a superstar marriage falter, what helps it endure, and why are they so complicated?

Musicians are prey to the same pressures as other famous or successful couples – demanding jobs, long stretches apart, a want of privacy. And music itself can play a role in the marriage. In 2016, after Jay-Z was accused of infidelity, Beyoncé’s riposte came in the form of Lemonade and, most particularly, the track Sorry, a sublime hurl of rage, accusation and defiance. “Today I regret the night I put that ring on,” she sneered. “He always got them fucking excuses.” Although it was the line: “He better call Becky with the good hair” – apparently in reference to her husband’s mistress – that proved most potent: for weeks, speculation abounded about Becky’s true identity.

“I think the thing about musicians is that when they’re writing songs about the relationship, they’re private thoughts but they’re singing them publicly,” says behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings. “You’re singing to your partner via music – so music becomes almost a third party. That’s a good thing if you can mediate through it, if you find it easier than talking about problems. It’s probably quite restorative and recuperative in a way – it’s part of the therapeutic process.”

But at times, she suggests, it can prove an unsettling and indirect way of communicating. “It raises questions,” she says. “Was that song about me? Was it real, or just your imagination? And if so, why were you thinking that way? So you have got to be able to back it up and be accountable. Otherwise, you could leave the other party at a loss, or perhaps even writing a song in response and hanging out your dirty washing in public.”

Abba started out as two couples, but its music grew as their relationships faltered. Photograph: Alamy

Being part of a successful musical couple does, of course, bring specific difficulties. When Cherilyn “Cher” Sarkisian met Sonny Bono at a cafe in Los Angeles in 1962, she was 16 and he was 27. They were married for six years before splitting in 1974 – Sonny citing “irreconcilable differences”, Cher countering with charges of “involuntary servitude” and the accusation that he withheld earnings from her. Twelve years after Bono’s death, Cher told Vanity Fair that he had treated her “more like a golden goose than like his wife”. Although time, perhaps, and his passing had mellowed her feelings. “I forgive him, I think,” she added. “He hurt me in so many ways, but there was something. He was so much more than a husband — a terrible husband, but a great mentor, a great teacher.”

Often what breaks apart a musical marriage are the obvious things – perhaps no different from those in any other marital breakdown, but amplified by the gleam of showbusiness – infidelity, boredom, distance, the slow sad inevitability of two lives drifting apart.

The difference is that in the eyes of the public they have come to represent something more than just two people in a marriage. When Kim Gordon wrote in her autobiography, Girl in a Band, of the end of her 27-year marriage to her fellow Sonic Youth member Thurston Moore, its details were strikingly ordinary, but carried the extra weight, shame and sadness of the publicness of their split: “The couple everyone believed was golden and normal and eternally intact, who gave younger musicians hope they could outlast a crazy rock’n’roll world, was now just another cliche of relationship failure,” she wrote. “A male midlife crisis, another woman, a double life.”

Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth split after 27 years. Photograph: John Zich/The Life Images Collection/Getty Images

Infidelity is common in any walk of life, but in a musical marriage, temptation is arguably greater. Partners are often apart on tour, having quite different unshared experiences and, in such circumstances, a sense of closeness can be hard to maintain. More problematic can be the gulf between the stage and domesticity – thousands of fans screaming their name, the surge of adoration, the assistants on call, the manager to shield them, the hours of interviews spent talking only about themselves, and then back home to something more prosaic: a partner whose love is less fawning, who sees them as a flawed human being.

But sometimes, magically, it can work. Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan have been together since 1980, and while Waits is the frontman in their pairing, they have a strong songwriting partnership and he frequently speaks of her talents. Brennan, Waits once said, is “a remarkable collaborator, and she’s a shiksa goddess and a trapeze artist, all of that. She can fix the truck. Expert on the African violet and all that. She’s outta this world. I don’t know what to say. I’m a lucky man. She has a remarkable imagination. And that’s the nation where I live. She’s bold, inventive and fearless. That’s who you wanna go in the woods with, right? Somebody who finishes your sentences for you.”

Johnny Cash’s first marriage to Vivian Liberto was in many ways a portrait of how the celebrity marriage can go awry — a young, hurried union when they barely knew one another, and both struggled with their new way of life when Cash found fame. Liberto filed for divorce, weary of her husband’s constant touring, his problems with drugs and alcohol and womanising.

When he married June Carter it was quite a different relationship. The pair had known each other for many years before becoming a couple, and Carter was already part of a well-known musical family with an understanding of the industry. They married in 1968 and died within four months of one another in 2003. Key to their marriage was their understanding of intimacy in the midst of a public relationship –although Cash’s proposal was rather ostentatious: “He asked me to marry him in front of 7,000 people,” she once recalled, “but I would’ve liked it if he had gotten down on his knees and proposed to me, you know. But that was the way it was. It was a great big production …”

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash had an enduring relationship. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Still, Cash would speak often and pleasingly of the simplicity of their bond. Once, asked for a definition of paradise, he replied: “This morning, with her, having coffee.”

What kept them together was the acknowledgement that what truly mattered was far away from the swagger of the stage. “There’s unconditional love there,” he once said. “You hear that phrase a lot, but it’s real with me and her. She loves me in spite of everything, in spite of myself. She has saved my life more than once. She’s always been there with her love, and it has certainly made me forget the pain for a long time, many times. When it gets dark and everybody’s gone home and the lights are turned off, it’s just me and her.”

When Lou Reed died in 2013 his wife Laurie Anderson paid tribute to their long relationship in an essay for Rolling Stone, citing their shared understanding of peculiar careers as part of what held them together. Reed had asked her out after they first met taking part at a concert in Munich and her response, tempered by her commitment to her own work, apparently delighted him: “I think he liked it when I said Yes! Absolutely! I’m on tour – but when I get back, let’s see, about four months from now, let’s definitely get together.” She added: “Musicians being married is sort of like lawyers being married. When you say: ‘Gee, I have to work in the studio til three tonight’ – or cancel all your plans to finish the case – you pretty much know what that means and you don’t necessarily hit the ceiling.”

To read Anderson’s essay is to be reminded of all the normal, complex, beautiful things that make up a relationship – how they loved butterfly-hunting, kayaking, their dog, how sometimes they felt angry or abandoned, and how together they “constructed ways to be”. And how, throughout their 21 years together as partners and professional musicians, they were bound by this remarkable combination of the humdrum and the spectacular, the silence and the song. “How strange and exciting and miraculous,” she wrote, “that we can change each other so much through our words and music and our real lives.”

[getyourgossip0-blog]

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

New Post has been published on http://getyourgossip.xyz/crazy-in-love-can-marriages-between-rock-superstars-ever-really-work/

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

When Beyoncé and Jay-Z flew into Salford this week, ahead of their On the Run II show in Manchester, the gossip columns noted several details: that Beyoncé wore a black hooded jacket, their children were not with them and, most provocatively, that the pair landed in separate helicopters.

The insinuation was clear: all might not be rosy. For while both musicians have enjoyed stunningly successful solo careers, it is their 15-year union that has long captured the public’s imagination: a relationship that began with a duet – 2003’s Bonnie and Clyde – and has continued through courtship, marriage, children, infidelity, two painfully confessional albums about marital difficulty and a second instalment of a joint world tour. The success of their relationship, despite the pressures and media attention, is quite remarkable.

In their shows this week, the pair have willingly referenced their relationship – videos screened home movies and apparent images of their children alongside the message “Love never changes”, but there was also footage of houses burning down and vows being renewed. And while the pair held hands and Beyoncé announced: “It makes me so happy to be on stage with the man I love”, both played songs from Lemonade and 4:44, their respective portraits of a marriage in turmoil.

Any marriage is a delicate creation, but from Ike and Tina Turner to Sonny and Cher, Notorious BIG and Faith Evans to Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, the union between two musicians has long seemed more vulnerable than most.

For some, this has fuelled their work – Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album Rumours documents the marriage breakdown of John and Christine McVie as well as the collapse of the on/off relationship between their bandmates Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. Abba began as two couples – Agnetha Fältskog and Björn Ulvaeus, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad and Benny Andersson, but as their relationships faltered their music grew in introspection and maturity. By the time of their 1981 masterpiece The Visitors, both had separated. Michelle and John Phillips’ marriage lasted only as long as the Mamas and the Papas. Jack and Meg White of the White Stripes managed to navigate the musical fame that arrived after their divorce. What makes a superstar marriage falter, what helps it endure, and why are they so complicated?

Musicians are prey to the same pressures as other famous or successful couples – demanding jobs, long stretches apart, a want of privacy. And music itself can play a role in the marriage. In 2016, after Jay-Z was accused of infidelity, Beyoncé’s riposte came in the form of Lemonade and, most particularly, the track Sorry, a sublime hurl of rage, accusation and defiance. “Today I regret the night I put that ring on,” she sneered. “He always got them fucking excuses.” Although it was the line: “He better call Becky with the good hair” – apparently in reference to her husband’s mistress – that proved most potent: for weeks, speculation abounded about Becky’s true identity.

“I think the thing about musicians is that when they’re writing songs about the relationship, they’re private thoughts but they’re singing them publicly,” says behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings. “You’re singing to your partner via music – so music becomes almost a third party. That’s a good thing if you can mediate through it, if you find it easier than talking about problems. It’s probably quite restorative and recuperative in a way – it’s part of the therapeutic process.”

But at times, she suggests, it can prove an unsettling and indirect way of communicating. “It raises questions,” she says. “Was that song about me? Was it real, or just your imagination? And if so, why were you thinking that way? So you have got to be able to back it up and be accountable. Otherwise, you could leave the other party at a loss, or perhaps even writing a song in response and hanging out your dirty washing in public.”

Abba started out as two couples, but its music grew as their relationships faltered. Photograph: Alamy

Being part of a successful musical couple does, of course, bring specific difficulties. When Cherilyn “Cher” Sarkisian met Sonny Bono at a cafe in Los Angeles in 1962, she was 16 and he was 27. They were married for six years before splitting in 1974 – Sonny citing “irreconcilable differences”, Cher countering with charges of “involuntary servitude” and the accusation that he withheld earnings from her. Twelve years after Bono’s death, Cher told Vanity Fair that he had treated her “more like a golden goose than like his wife”. Although time, perhaps, and his passing had mellowed her feelings. “I forgive him, I think,” she added. “He hurt me in so many ways, but there was something. He was so much more than a husband — a terrible husband, but a great mentor, a great teacher.”

Often what breaks apart a musical marriage are the obvious things – perhaps no different from those in any other marital breakdown, but amplified by the gleam of showbusiness – infidelity, boredom, distance, the slow sad inevitability of two lives drifting apart.

The difference is that in the eyes of the public they have come to represent something more than just two people in a marriage. When Kim Gordon wrote in her autobiography, Girl in a Band, of the end of her 27-year marriage to her fellow Sonic Youth member Thurston Moore, its details were strikingly ordinary, but carried the extra weight, shame and sadness of the publicness of their split: “The couple everyone believed was golden and normal and eternally intact, who gave younger musicians hope they could outlast a crazy rock’n’roll world, was now just another cliche of relationship failure,” she wrote. “A male midlife crisis, another woman, a double life.”

Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth split after 27 years. Photograph: John Zich/The Life Images Collection/Getty Images

Infidelity is common in any walk of life, but in a musical marriage, temptation is arguably greater. Partners are often apart on tour, having quite different unshared experiences and, in such circumstances, a sense of closeness can be hard to maintain. More problematic can be the gulf between the stage and domesticity – thousands of fans screaming their name, the surge of adoration, the assistants on call, the manager to shield them, the hours of interviews spent talking only about themselves, and then back home to something more prosaic: a partner whose love is less fawning, who sees them as a flawed human being.

But sometimes, magically, it can work. Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan have been together since 1980, and while Waits is the frontman in their pairing, they have a strong songwriting partnership and he frequently speaks of her talents. Brennan, Waits once said, is “a remarkable collaborator, and she’s a shiksa goddess and a trapeze artist, all of that. She can fix the truck. Expert on the African violet and all that. She’s outta this world. I don’t know what to say. I’m a lucky man. She has a remarkable imagination. And that’s the nation where I live. She’s bold, inventive and fearless. That’s who you wanna go in the woods with, right? Somebody who finishes your sentences for you.”

Johnny Cash’s first marriage to Vivian Liberto was in many ways a portrait of how the celebrity marriage can go awry — a young, hurried union when they barely knew one another, and both struggled with their new way of life when Cash found fame. Liberto filed for divorce, weary of her husband’s constant touring, his problems with drugs and alcohol and womanising.

When he married June Carter it was quite a different relationship. The pair had known each other for many years before becoming a couple, and Carter was already part of a well-known musical family with an understanding of the industry. They married in 1968 and died within four months of one another in 2003. Key to their marriage was their understanding of intimacy in the midst of a public relationship –although Cash’s proposal was rather ostentatious: “He asked me to marry him in front of 7,000 people,” she once recalled, “but I would’ve liked it if he had gotten down on his knees and proposed to me, you know. But that was the way it was. It was a great big production …”

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash had an enduring relationship. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Still, Cash would speak often and pleasingly of the simplicity of their bond. Once, asked for a definition of paradise, he replied: “This morning, with her, having coffee.”

What kept them together was the acknowledgement that what truly mattered was far away from the swagger of the stage. “There’s unconditional love there,” he once said. “You hear that phrase a lot, but it’s real with me and her. She loves me in spite of everything, in spite of myself. She has saved my life more than once. She’s always been there with her love, and it has certainly made me forget the pain for a long time, many times. When it gets dark and everybody’s gone home and the lights are turned off, it’s just me and her.”

When Lou Reed died in 2013 his wife Laurie Anderson paid tribute to their long relationship in an essay for Rolling Stone, citing their shared understanding of peculiar careers as part of what held them together. Reed had asked her out after they first met taking part at a concert in Munich and her response, tempered by her commitment to her own work, apparently delighted him: “I think he liked it when I said Yes! Absolutely! I’m on tour – but when I get back, let’s see, about four months from now, let’s definitely get together.” She added: “Musicians being married is sort of like lawyers being married. When you say: ‘Gee, I have to work in the studio til three tonight’ – or cancel all your plans to finish the case – you pretty much know what that means and you don’t necessarily hit the ceiling.”

To read Anderson’s essay is to be reminded of all the normal, complex, beautiful things that make up a relationship – how they loved butterfly-hunting, kayaking, their dog, how sometimes they felt angry or abandoned, and how together they “constructed ways to be”. And how, throughout their 21 years together as partners and professional musicians, they were bound by this remarkable combination of the humdrum and the spectacular, the silence and the song. “How strange and exciting and miraculous,” she wrote, “that we can change each other so much through our words and music and our real lives.”

[getyourgossip0-blog]

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

New Post has been published on http://getyourgossip.xyz/crazy-in-love-can-marriages-between-rock-superstars-ever-really-work/

Crazy in love: can marriages between rock superstars ever really work?

When Beyoncé and Jay-Z flew into Salford this week, ahead of their On the Run II show in Manchester, the gossip columns noted several details: that Beyoncé wore a black hooded jacket, their children were not with them and, most provocatively, that the pair landed in separate helicopters.

The insinuation was clear: all might not be rosy. For while both musicians have enjoyed stunningly successful solo careers, it is their 15-year union that has long captured the public’s imagination: a relationship that began with a duet – 2003’s Bonnie and Clyde – and has continued through courtship, marriage, children, infidelity, two painfully confessional albums about marital difficulty and a second instalment of a joint world tour. The success of their relationship, despite the pressures and media attention, is quite remarkable.

In their shows this week, the pair have willingly referenced their relationship – videos screened home movies and apparent images of their children alongside the message “Love never changes”, but there was also footage of houses burning down and vows being renewed. And while the pair held hands and Beyoncé announced: “It makes me so happy to be on stage with the man I love”, both played songs from Lemonade and 4:44, their respective portraits of a marriage in turmoil.

Any marriage is a delicate creation, but from Ike and Tina Turner to Sonny and Cher, Notorious BIG and Faith Evans to Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, the union between two musicians has long seemed more vulnerable than most.

For some, this has fuelled their work – Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album Rumours documents the marriage breakdown of John and Christine McVie as well as the collapse of the on/off relationship between their bandmates Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. Abba began as two couples – Agnetha Fältskog and Björn Ulvaeus, and Anni-Frid Lyngstad and Benny Andersson, but as their relationships faltered their music grew in introspection and maturity. By the time of their 1981 masterpiece The Visitors, both had separated. Michelle and John Phillips’ marriage lasted only as long as the Mamas and the Papas. Jack and Meg White of the White Stripes managed to navigate the musical fame that arrived after their divorce. What makes a superstar marriage falter, what helps it endure, and why are they so complicated?

Musicians are prey to the same pressures as other famous or successful couples – demanding jobs, long stretches apart, a want of privacy. And music itself can play a role in the marriage. In 2016, after Jay-Z was accused of infidelity, Beyoncé’s riposte came in the form of Lemonade and, most particularly, the track Sorry, a sublime hurl of rage, accusation and defiance. “Today I regret the night I put that ring on,” she sneered. “He always got them fucking excuses.” Although it was the line: “He better call Becky with the good hair” – apparently in reference to her husband’s mistress – that proved most potent: for weeks, speculation abounded about Becky’s true identity.

“I think the thing about musicians is that when they’re writing songs about the relationship, they’re private thoughts but they’re singing them publicly,” says behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings. “You’re singing to your partner via music – so music becomes almost a third party. That’s a good thing if you can mediate through it, if you find it easier than talking about problems. It’s probably quite restorative and recuperative in a way – it’s part of the therapeutic process.”

But at times, she suggests, it can prove an unsettling and indirect way of communicating. “It raises questions,” she says. “Was that song about me? Was it real, or just your imagination? And if so, why were you thinking that way? So you have got to be able to back it up and be accountable. Otherwise, you could leave the other party at a loss, or perhaps even writing a song in response and hanging out your dirty washing in public.”

Abba started out as two couples, but its music grew as their relationships faltered. Photograph: Alamy

Being part of a successful musical couple does, of course, bring specific difficulties. When Cherilyn “Cher” Sarkisian met Sonny Bono at a cafe in Los Angeles in 1962, she was 16 and he was 27. They were married for six years before splitting in 1974 – Sonny citing “irreconcilable differences”, Cher countering with charges of “involuntary servitude” and the accusation that he withheld earnings from her. Twelve years after Bono’s death, Cher told Vanity Fair that he had treated her “more like a golden goose than like his wife”. Although time, perhaps, and his passing had mellowed her feelings. “I forgive him, I think,” she added. “He hurt me in so many ways, but there was something. He was so much more than a husband — a terrible husband, but a great mentor, a great teacher.”

Often what breaks apart a musical marriage are the obvious things – perhaps no different from those in any other marital breakdown, but amplified by the gleam of showbusiness – infidelity, boredom, distance, the slow sad inevitability of two lives drifting apart.

The difference is that in the eyes of the public they have come to represent something more than just two people in a marriage. When Kim Gordon wrote in her autobiography, Girl in a Band, of the end of her 27-year marriage to her fellow Sonic Youth member Thurston Moore, its details were strikingly ordinary, but carried the extra weight, shame and sadness of the publicness of their split: “The couple everyone believed was golden and normal and eternally intact, who gave younger musicians hope they could outlast a crazy rock’n’roll world, was now just another cliche of relationship failure,” she wrote. “A male midlife crisis, another woman, a double life.”

Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth split after 27 years. Photograph: John Zich/The Life Images Collection/Getty Images

Infidelity is common in any walk of life, but in a musical marriage, temptation is arguably greater. Partners are often apart on tour, having quite different unshared experiences and, in such circumstances, a sense of closeness can be hard to maintain. More problematic can be the gulf between the stage and domesticity – thousands of fans screaming their name, the surge of adoration, the assistants on call, the manager to shield them, the hours of interviews spent talking only about themselves, and then back home to something more prosaic: a partner whose love is less fawning, who sees them as a flawed human being.

But sometimes, magically, it can work. Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan have been together since 1980, and while Waits is the frontman in their pairing, they have a strong songwriting partnership and he frequently speaks of her talents. Brennan, Waits once said, is “a remarkable collaborator, and she’s a shiksa goddess and a trapeze artist, all of that. She can fix the truck. Expert on the African violet and all that. She’s outta this world. I don’t know what to say. I’m a lucky man. She has a remarkable imagination. And that’s the nation where I live. She’s bold, inventive and fearless. That’s who you wanna go in the woods with, right? Somebody who finishes your sentences for you.”

Johnny Cash’s first marriage to Vivian Liberto was in many ways a portrait of how the celebrity marriage can go awry — a young, hurried union when they barely knew one another, and both struggled with their new way of life when Cash found fame. Liberto filed for divorce, weary of her husband’s constant touring, his problems with drugs and alcohol and womanising.

When he married June Carter it was quite a different relationship. The pair had known each other for many years before becoming a couple, and Carter was already part of a well-known musical family with an understanding of the industry. They married in 1968 and died within four months of one another in 2003. Key to their marriage was their understanding of intimacy in the midst of a public relationship –although Cash’s proposal was rather ostentatious: “He asked me to marry him in front of 7,000 people,” she once recalled, “but I would’ve liked it if he had gotten down on his knees and proposed to me, you know. But that was the way it was. It was a great big production …”

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash had an enduring relationship. Photograph: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Still, Cash would speak often and pleasingly of the simplicity of their bond. Once, asked for a definition of paradise, he replied: “This morning, with her, having coffee.”

What kept them together was the acknowledgement that what truly mattered was far away from the swagger of the stage. “There’s unconditional love there,” he once said. “You hear that phrase a lot, but it’s real with me and her. She loves me in spite of everything, in spite of myself. She has saved my life more than once. She’s always been there with her love, and it has certainly made me forget the pain for a long time, many times. When it gets dark and everybody’s gone home and the lights are turned off, it’s just me and her.”

When Lou Reed died in 2013 his wife Laurie Anderson paid tribute to their long relationship in an essay for Rolling Stone, citing their shared understanding of peculiar careers as part of what held them together. Reed had asked her out after they first met taking part at a concert in Munich and her response, tempered by her commitment to her own work, apparently delighted him: “I think he liked it when I said Yes! Absolutely! I’m on tour – but when I get back, let’s see, about four months from now, let’s definitely get together.” She added: “Musicians being married is sort of like lawyers being married. When you say: ‘Gee, I have to work in the studio til three tonight’ – or cancel all your plans to finish the case – you pretty much know what that means and you don’t necessarily hit the ceiling.”

To read Anderson’s essay is to be reminded of all the normal, complex, beautiful things that make up a relationship – how they loved butterfly-hunting, kayaking, their dog, how sometimes they felt angry or abandoned, and how together they “constructed ways to be”. And how, throughout their 21 years together as partners and professional musicians, they were bound by this remarkable combination of the humdrum and the spectacular, the silence and the song. “How strange and exciting and miraculous,” she wrote, “that we can change each other so much through our words and music and our real lives.”