Chi-Chi
I think I’m gonna wrap these up today so I can get back to work on my fanfic. For the record, I got Buu, Frieza, Jolyne Kujo, Father Pucci, and Jobin Higashikata left to go, and then I’m done.
But I hate to call it here, because this has been fun. Maybe I’ll bring this back some time.
Give me a character and I will answer:
Why I like them: I started watching DBZ back in the fall of 1998, and I didn’t get very serious about it until 2000. Chi-Chi didn’t have a very big role in the Saiyans or Frieza arcs, and I wasn’t making a point of watching every episode, so it took a while for her character to be fully revealed. Starting out, she was basically popping in every so often to remind us that she wanted Gohan to study. She stood up to Garlic’s henchmen in Movie 1, but didn’t really get a chance to do anything. In the Garlic Junior Saga, it’s stated that Chi-Chi is the strongest woman in the world, which sounds pretty impressive as long as you don’t think too hard about how many women are on the show.
I don’t think I really understood Chi-Chi well until I got to the part where Goten spars with Gohan, and he reveals that Chi-Chi had been training him while Gohan was studying. That was where it became clear to me that she only emphasized book-learnin’ over ass-whoopin’ because she knew Goku had that side of things covered. With Goten, Chi-Chi had to be both mother and father to him, and she didn’t shirk from that.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that Chi-Chi’s a great supporting character. She maintains a presence in the story whether she’s on-screen or not, and you learn about her gradually through these short appearances. And when she does show up, it’s just a treat to see. She’s always got something to say, and she’s cute and she can beat your ass. What’s not to like?
Why I don’t: Yeah right. Look, the biggest gripe people have with Chi-Chi is that she makes her son do homework, which is dumb. She explains this a number of times: There’s more to life than fighting, and she wants that for her son. And Gohan’s not exactly worse off for her style of parenting.
I think the disconnect here is that people watch this show and they want to see Goku and Gohan screw around and go on adventures, and they feel like Chi-Chi is here to kill their buzz. I guess it’d be like watching a football game, and every so often some guy wanders out onto the field and scolds everyone for playing football. But that guy would be right, because football is dangerous, yo. Everybody keeps telling Chi-Chi that the only hope for the world involves her little boy getting his ass kicked by aliens, and she’s like “no, that’s bullshit,” and she’s absolutely right. She’s a saint for tolerating it as much as she does, but I think a lot of fans refuse to look at it from her point of view. They just want the fighting.
I remember Lanipator observing that he used to hate Mr. Satan when he was younger, but the older he got, the more and more he appreciated the character. I can’t relate to that, because I was old enough to drink when I started watching this show, so for me, there is no “when I was a kid” perspective on Dragon Ball. I thought Mr. Satan was awesome from the start, and I never had much of a problem with Chi-Chi either.
They did tend to overexpose both characters in the anime, cutting to them when they needed a filler moment to pad out an episode or five. So maybe that’s got something to do with it. But that’s not the fault of the characters. But yeah, if I was watching the Cell Games at age 10 I’d probably get really sick of them constantly cutting to Mr. Satan or Chi-Chi for analysis.
Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s probably hard to top the one where she fought Goku. That was one of the last Chi-Chi moments I got to see, because I didn’t get caught up on OG Dragon Ball until 2004. It’s an excellent use of the character and her lengthy absence from the show. By the time she reappears, no one recognizes her, and she’s upset about being forgotten.
Favorite season/movie: I think I’d have to go with the Buu Saga, on the grounds that she got more time to shine, mainly due to so many other characters being unavailable. It was a real roller coaster ride for her too. Her husband’s dead and she’s raising two kids on her own, then he comes back, then he leaves again, and maybe Gohan’s dead too, and now Goten has to fight, and then she’s dead, and then they’re all back together in the end. Wild.
Favorite line: In the Cell Games Saga, there’s a TV show where Mr. Satan drags three buses onto the set, cuts a scathing promo on Cell, and then punches one of the buses to put an exclamation point on the whole thing. Wait, I take it back, I’m pretty sure 10yo me would have loved Mr. Satan.
Anyway the live audience is marking the fuck out for Mr. Satan, but at Kame House Yamcha and Krillin are unimpressed, because they punch holes in like fifty buses every morning as a warm-up. But in the dub of that episode, Roshi remarks that Mr. Satan’s theatrics are “sad”, and Chi-Chi goes “It sure is. Somebody could have used that bus.” Classic, total classic.
Favorite outfit: It’s hard to pick, honestly. I like the Buu Saga yellow, but I prefer the way her hair looked in the Saiyans Saga. And that outfit she wore near the end of DBZ was pretty great too.
OTP: Goku. come on.
Brotp: I think Bulma sort of stepped into that role after Trunks was born, but Chi-Chi seems like a loner to me. She basically rolled in, got Goku to marry her, and then retreated deep into the mountains to interact with as few people as possible. I need me a freak like that.
Head Canon: I think she’s genuinely proud of Goku and the boys being so great at super-karate-laser wars. She doesn’t talk about it much, because there’s plenty of other people to congratulate them on that sort of thing, and I think they sort of look to her for as someone who grounds their family.
To put it another way, I don’t think Goku wants Chi-Chi to talk a lot about the androids or the Saiyans or whatever. I think he wants someone to bother him with household matters and chores and ordinary stuff. And Gohan and Goten just want a regular mom to balance out their alien monomyth dad. And she plays that role well, because that’s who she is. But she’s still proud of them for saving the world and so forth.
Unpopular opinion: Chi-Chi was right.
Look, how was Gohan going to make a life for himself as a fighter, in a world where Goku and Vegeta have that market cornered?
Where’s he live? In a big-ass mansion. Why? Because he married a rich man’s daughter. Where’d he meet her? In the school Chi-Chi made him go to. How’d he get in to said school? He aced their entrance exams. How’d he do that? Chi-Chi made him study.
What does Goku do all day when he isn’t training? He drives a tractor? Why? Because his wife has a thing for farmer aesthetics. Why does he just do whatever his wife tells him? Because he didn’t study.
A wish: I wish all the Chi-Chi haters would stay out of my soup, because it’s salty enough as it is. (Heyoooo!)
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I’ve been seeing Manalorian spoilers lately, and I don’t want to give anything away, but it seems like every time something happens on Mando, all the chuds come out of the woodwork to complain about Episode VIII and/or IX. They’re like “thank you, Disney, for giving us the [Star Wars thing] that Disney refused to give us.”
My fear is that Star Wars has become balkanized into this thing where people praise half of it as fixing or undoing the damage caused by the other half. Used to be, people would either like the Ewoks or hate them, but they couldn’t ignore the fact that they were there. Now it’s like any movie that doesn’t feature Ewoks is done to cater to the anti-Ewok crowd, and any movie that does is solely for the purpose of keeping the pro-Ewok side engaged.
My point is that I worry that this will happen to all media franchises, and Dragon Ball Q will feature a Chi-Chi that gets turned into a hateful she-hag to satisfy the haters, and then Ultra Dragon Ball Deluxe will feature a more nuanced version of Chi-Chi as a make-good, thereby pissing off the haters. And they’ll go back and forth trying to please everyone while the character ends up becoming an incomprehensible mess from it.
5 words to best describe them: Adorable tiger mom/bus advocate.
My nickname for them: Cheech.
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SAIYAN RAP CYPHER - Lyrics | FabvL
SAIYAN RAP CYPHER - Lyrics | FabvL
SAIYAN RAP CYPHER | FabvL ft. RUSTAGE, Daddyphatsnaps, Dan Bull, NerdOut & More [Dragon Ball]
Joey Nato:-
Ayo, you know what's crazy?
I learned that me and that dude Gohan got a lot in common
Nato, all the haters that tried me will be first to tell
You that you won't get buy me with a perfect sell
'Cause I'm married to my goals like my goals Videl
My father taught me how to win, but I learned to fail
And pick a low in my life, any low I've had
Was in the pickle low key, but the key was fight back
Even when I was a teen, I would know I'm bad
The way I killed a 16 would make Gohan snap
Look, legend in the making, can't stop my story
And if a Sensu bein' a little hostile towards mе
I'm a power up quick and deliver that fast pain
Thеy Saiyaman only as good as his last game
I heard you pack a punch, but I guess none landed
Dummy, you should know I'll beat you one handed
And if you mess with family, take a guess what we'll do
We won't wanna fight you, nah, we'll wanna kill you, Nato
Dreaded Yasuke:-
See me walking in the public
Sporting the green and black armor on
Bandana with the blood drip
I was considered low budget
Look at me now, fighting the crowd, take you all by the dozen
Judging my exterior, I'm raising my thermals
Thinking I'm inferior, making ya soul furlough
Beat you down thorough
Hoping you can manage my final spirit cannon and make ya blood curdle
This the time to panic
When you see the golden hair, even battle damaged
I give you a thousanf-yard stare
Not gonna be fair when I start feeling my rhythm
You should be scared, ya blood staining your denim
Standing there thinking how did I get my momentum?
And will be passing down, cause of nepotism
Super Saiyan ain't nothing to playing with
Enemies don't gotta chance, even when I show them the tip
Dan Bull:-
Ay, what you bringing? What you saying?
I'm the king of the Saiyans
Someone from the southern U.S.A., would say I'm advanced
Solving the toughest puzzles
There must be tuffles living in my brain
Still ruling my people, I don't really care what Frieza claims
King Vegeta's staying, like a Fajita stain
Firing execution beams and heaps of Ki in waves
I've seen regimes and seasons change, how could it be the same?
You keep on feeding the flames, you're going to free this ape
Vegeta's ancestors stand the test of time
I guess it's down to diet, genes and some exercise
Best alive 'till my son took the crown
Now I rest in the sky up above trunks looking down
There's a bright future ahead of him, like every parent's hoping for
I might have met my descendents if I never had that broken jaw
There's so much lore that I could go through more
Than even Goku could hope to when he grows new balls
Shwabadi:-
Yo, I see you thought it was over
But then the fusion tango boosted power roasting opponents
The coldest foes that I'm owning, the Ki is flowing an ocean
You had the nuts to step to one of us, but now you're facing Bofa
These thugs
People that keep the beam tucked
Lethal when thinking you'd of dreamed to beat us
Fetal position, you can clear the tear ducts
Crying to yourself 'cus you're weak and we're peerless
I got twice the will in me, a Gemini man
Don't need a smith, come with quickness when I jeopardise plans
Double vision, they can't seem him, 'cus I'm fast with the hands
Punisher drive, push 'em aside, now I'm sending 'em back
This dual personality, you woulda thought'd be a mismatch
Two beefy dudes sandwiched together, that's a Big Mac
One man think tank, never skipped gym class
Think fast, Kamehameha with a Big Bang
Gameboy Jones:-
Coming to you live, it's the man from the planet of the apes
You don't want the smoke and I ain't talking 'bout a vape
Tide pod ship, yeah my whip so clean
I've been taking planets way before I even hit my teens
Raditz stacking cabbage, I'm banking on being savage
Heart is full of malice, unleash it by causing havoc
You don't want the beef that's unfortunate, there's no salad
If I see my brother, I'm snapping that little carrot
No app, but I'm bringing in the discord
I'm pedal to the metal, that's how opposition gets floored
Microsoft, I'm about to give you one note
Facing me is suicide, us Saiyans are to cutthroat
Pride of a lion, check the mane
But I go ape shit, me and you are not the same
Compared to me, you ain't even looking half as nice
If you wanna beat me, you'll sacrifice your life!
None Like Joshua:-
This is for Gohan, so long you robots
Krillin's own thot, isn't even the most hot or that nice
Like I am when it comes to tough fights
Goku taking 20 episodes, I'm taking one slice
More humble than any Saiyan here on the track
'Cause I know when to attack and when to hold it back
Coming from the future, man, it's all out of whack
'Cause Goku's got to live, so don't shoot, he's not Goku Black
Or Zamasu, what I've seen will haunt you
Travel to the past seems too paradoxical
But I've got to killin' villains, saving my fam
Now my sword is shaving off years from your lifespan
Simpin for Mai chick, she's searching for my Dragon Balls
I don't need to make a wish, I can hurt the baddest gods
Immortals underestimate me 'cause my dad's a loser
Thia Mai is too young, so it's back to the future
Zach Boucher:-
They don't hold a single hope if they're alone
Find a sacrifice against this elitist, you will need it
That's my last advice
I'll be undefeated and I mean it though, I pack a fight
Handing eveybody, one way tickets to the after life
Now they're coming at me assuming they're quick
Nah, practically practice, they're done with, I'm over this shit
Getting so impatient, God I hate how it's over so quick
So I'll let you die for nothing, like the Namek, Tien, and his buddy did
Say he's Super Saiyan, but I'm saying that he sucked at it
You just need to find the little strength that you've been mustering
While I keep it deep inside my veins until it clutters
You're like Gohan, how you stuttered
Killed your friends and all your brothers
I was sick of living deep inside the dark
But that's when I met Vegeta, he would teach me where to start
They don't realize I'm still alive to tear you all apart
You call it destruction, I call that a pockmark
Connor Quest:-
Goten since I was below ten, I've been hard as stone henge
Enemies they curve me like a road bend
Broke them limits, making grown men fidget
When you see me up in GT, I'm the golden ticket
Need a scope lens just to even see the height I'm hitting
Deny the physics, these guys are tripping
If they think that I could give in
Collide the digits, call it popping the Trunks
Because I'm riding with him, feel the burn
As you get offed by the son
Flip round turn the tension high
No, these clowns ain't friends of mine
Kamehameha drop a body to the floor
Get a strike to a vital just to end your life
Step with a rush on your neck, bust collarbones
This is how you make a hero's son, fuck Boruto
Ki on lock, you can fight with us
You'll be sweeping up the pieces of your teeth after you bite the dust
DizzyEight:-
Looking for a hero? Then it's us
Had to double up to maneuver when it's clutch
Give him big rounds, know for the dough I go nuts
Fella, sit down, it's known I bring thunder when I punch
Ya'll talk too much, enemies do the most
What I speak leave 'em toast, when I spit they go ghost
You're not the real thing, I'm in a game full of clones
They copy what I'm on, then hope that they explode
You can't copy me
If you do, you do it sloppily
They're just throwing shots at me
But I promise you never stopping me
So much potential
You can check my credentials
You don't know that you in for
Greatness what I'm meant for
FabvL:-
Hold up, I see 'em wanting the prince
Throw your best punch, guarantee I won't even flinch
I got the drip that'll turn your number 1 to a bitch
Shoot this Galick gun unload it, yeah I'm draining the clip
So call me sensei
I've been healing the game, better than Dende
Type a hero that the villains and their friends say
Is truly worthy of the crown, never dead weight
Hyperbolic rent payed the best way
I got the baddest chick in the whole galaxy
Used to say that Super Saiyans were a fallacy
Now I've learned that evil deeds are just cowardly
Richest man on Earth, so fuck your whole salary
Really think you could hang with all the best?
No way, royal blood, got it running through my chest
Don't play, stupid villains, I could kill without regret
All day, listen up, you will do whatever that I say!
NerdOut:-
Y'all done screwed up
I acquired the jewels and now I'm fused up
You about to get bruised up
Best of both worlds, I use superior stragedy
You're not even half the man that used to be half of me
You choosing defeat
If I wave my arm, the wind will put holes in you
Now that's shooting the breeze
Go ask Majin Buu, oops it's too late
I'm out for 60 minutes, but for you? I only use 8
Laughing while I'm waiting for this union to dissolve
'Cause I don't think the ladies are approving a ménage
But if Chichi and Bulma wanna cuddle tonight
They better watch out 'cause now I got double the pipe
And Gogeta's no match, he stay losing
He had to do choreographed Tik Tok dances to make a fusion
So which Super Saiyan are you choosing?
These dim-witted half-pints or pinnacle of evolution
Rustage:-
Hit that, Wukong with the staff breaking bodies like a Kit Kat
Rip your team in half like I'm moses when I split that
Whiplash punches like it's gift wrapped, spit facts
Treat you all like Frieza with a bitch-slap
Saiyan from the planet of the apes, I'm not playing
Best be praying to this God I'm raising stakes
I ain't waiting, I be saving every person, every race
Passion blazing 'cus I'm facing any aliens in my way
Say my name, call me Goku
Hanuman, stand my ground, yeah I won't move
Chris Chan, when I'm loud with a blown fuse
Understand, hear the sound of your bones bruise
Go through faster than my flows do
A monkey but better than Luffy, I'm king of the planets
Ain't needing no piracy
I'm stunning, just look at my moves, I'm top of the charts
And I'm needing no rivalry
And finally, they're fighting me bust in beats like it's Chichi
Easy your characters tough, but can they beat me?
Daddyphatsnaps:-
So you made this far, huh?
Now you and me
Hahahahaha
Somebody hold me back, I'm going berserk
And at the rate I'm going, bro I'm 'bout to blow up the Earth
It's lunch time, eat your every punch, I'm knowing it hurts your pride
Legendary Saiyan, I was chosen at birth, I'm the truth
'Cus I always been the hardest, I'm a bad bitch
You had to work to get to where I started so savage
Had the Super Saiyan gods saying "oh damnit"
He's so made bitch, he breaking up the whole planet
Well, if it's gonna go, then I got something I should get off my chest
And I ain't talkin' 'bout the X, see you sipping the flex
I got these little green bitches out here gripping my pecs
I'm ill turn you green bitches then your hitting the deck
I'm a god damn God, are you out of your mind?
It's strange, millions of scenarios, you die every time
Murder you without a trace and 'geta brought me the lime
You'll get bodied out your body if you rowdy with mine
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