#like yeah i know i've Leveled Up in these nc years but it's definitely fun that organically my Dream Encounters have shifted likewise.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unproduciblesmackdown · 3 months

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other day i was like "yeah virtually all my dreams are defined by anxiety / every goal/hope being Thwarted, but at least i never really have nightmares" but it's like well what's the baseline what's the reaction, b/c i also then have to be like "but does it count if yeah i had a fairly typical dream sequence that was like, 'uh oh, i'm on The Horrors Street and the monster is probably after me, which i'm staving off by hand but it's kind of difficult b/c it can dissolve its own corporeal form in a somewhat gory manner as it tries to gnash at My corporeal form' but i was like 'i mean this is some bullshit but typical tuesday' level reaction so it wasn't a big deal?" like i don't even know when In Real Life it's also typical to have stress reactions like, just now going "smh obviously this sucks. i know i'm stressed. i know this is unpleasant bullshit & somewhat alarming. but typical tuesday (on a thursday)" and only due to noting some physical tremors is it like oh right i guess i'm also having an adrenal response. i tend to bring the like "smoke grenade! disassociation!!" response to a dream in that i can kind of Respond to it by withdrawing / distancing myself, sometimes even like [pushing things into being: as though it's a video game. pausing, exiting, etc] & like it's My psyche & it's brief sequences melding into each other anyways so okay, we'll pivot. other times it's just like yeah this is bullshit but shrug guess we're doing this, until it pivots anyways. Outliers are usually like, "just had an unpleasant Worldwide Peril scenario premise :/" or that like yeah once in a blue moon like sometime the past year my dream was so stressful i woke myself up b/c often when Urgently Confronted w/ Alarming Dream enemy i launch into fight mode & that one was just so [!!!] >:((( that it pushed the urgency into "oh shit, wake up maybe??" response levels. get their ass!! but mostly it's like "ugh i'm at this Job & im not sure what i'm doing, didn't get enough training for this. thinking about getting food but can i afford it" like yeah thee horrors but not as urgent. but then sometimes it's urgent or at least threatening & it's still like literally zzz / well this isn't ideal clearly but it doesn't even occur to me like Do i have nightmares i just shrug off? idek man. call that nightmarinating

#like child me was really fdring it often Worried About Nightmares but i don't particularly remember Getting them #beyond the zany Very Young nightmares a couple of times still being memorable. you are skinamarenough fr #going like oh i've definitely had that bit! in a work that exists via crowdsourced ''unsettling memorable childhood nightmares''#was it a nightmare then? i guess!#presumably also already like ''again my Standard is that traumatic levels of stress is mundane / fairly literally Everyday so like...?''#on occasional alarming car crash near misses i don't think i had a ''big'' reaction b/c. typical tuesday #tending to be more Moved by like shit that's more conceptually disturbing to me that tends to not exactly be [stressful alarming] style....#like the Worldwide Peril dreams being more unsettling but never like [aa!!] at any exact moment #it's like well yeah it All ''interferes'' but also it's still Usual it's still Typical. starting to see limits to any metric of Disruption #even if that Disruption is made individual like is it in Your way / throwing You off by Your standards #not really; not really....#one fun stress dream thing is like; ppl asking ppl who've already gone nc w/parents like Any Regrets (chorus of No's from the house)#(bonus: Ugh Every Time re: whom regrets trying to get back in touch lol)#anyways when i first went nc i sometimes had stress dreams like aaugh parent; i would physically fight them off w/like a shovel #nowadays usually my dream self readily is like Well [Tells You Off] Then & perhaps then also physically fights off just more handily #like yeah i know i've Leveled Up in these nc years but it's definitely fun that organically my Dream Encounters have shifted likewise....#basically just Getting Through It & dreams eff off into another thread readily enough #only exceptions are like ''i get so Suddenly & Proximately Alarmed i get pissed off & leap into action. just like real life also''#harangued by like ''im Slowly Driving but the brakes work Incrementally Gradually & i can't get the damn thing to a full stop'' like woes #abt ''if i get ticketed for an inexorably rolling nonstop. or hit anyone'' but i never actually do. keep having the dreams here&there But #it is not a mystery like wow can't believe i virtually never have an okay time or am not overtly sabotaged from pursuing that #i got it yeah lmao....that the school dreams continue for me as for anyone like i'm sure that's fine & necessary for us all #yeah yeah The Horrors we've all been incessantly beset #thee best is the way i sometimes dream abt Performing & have so much fun even the invariable thwarting doesn't get in the way #i'm missing rehearsal missing cues don't know my lines can't find my costume etc etc etc etc Still like ''oh whee haha hoorayyy''#all these experiences you gotta compare notes like tbt ''hang on do some people take a dump like Daily? fr?''#except that one's more like. an inherent part of having a digestive system. vs thee the horrors levels & regularity varying

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