#like. yeah. yeah. i do think abotu it. what if you're the only one who swam

[rotzaprachim]

made up fic title: Not Everything Feels Like Something Else

ok! YEAH. so i do know this comes from a poem about drowning, and i'm very much going to go with something unpacking a little bit more either nina zenik's escape from the fjerdan prison ship or cassian andor's escape from narkina 5, both of whom have water as this kind of liberating element tHEY can swim through, but not almost any of the people they were imprisoned with. this is definitely kind of... pushing the limits of fic in terms of stuff i don’t want linearlly flattened into Hurt/Comfort ship material with all the practical implications and parallels, but these two plot points are so lodged in the centers of the ethical boundaries and just... shit that has canonically happened for gverse and star wars that i think there’s so much more to be done with unpacking the psychology of survivors? 

on a broader note, something with andor and the issues of interethnic and interleftist solidarity meaning recognising that different people, different historical experiences have traumas that aren’t interchangable, that aren’t put on some kind of scale of goodness or badness but need to be reckoned with and understood empathetically. which is a complex real world thing, i guess, but i DO think this show has room for nuance, and i think with the histories of how marginalised people have been turned and set against each other there’s so much to unpack beyond “they hurt you? they hurt me too!” sometimes your drowning does not feel like someone else’s drowning but you both need to swim to the surface! (also writing something for bix and melshi that has some of these themes) 

[lakesbian]

you know what. im going to follow my heart so we can move on with the wormread and just copy-paste what i said about danny in chapter 6.9 on discord with some minimal editing because it's not pretty but the general thesis is there and i don't feel like making it into proper paragraph form

okay so the thing thats fucking killing me abotu 6.9 is that danny is literally like. he tries to call taylor a nickname only her mom called her once he realizes he's fucked up bad and is trying to recover whichi s insane [because it's obviously going to be upsetting to her by reminding her of her mom being gone, and it also indicates that his fall-back for something going wrong w/ taylor is to try to appeal to her by poorly copying someone else's parenting style] and he also randomly tells her about how her mom wanted to move her a grade ahead but he wanted her to stay in school with emma to make her happy. and he's been Stewing On That despite knowing it's objectively not his fault (and i am reminded of how in his interlude he spends time Stewing about how he wishes annette were there to give advice) and he also cops up to the fact that that the whole thing about "being her parent and not her ally" (<- demented thing to say for obvious reasons) wherein he locks her in a room and demands emotional vulnerability from her even as she's becoming visibly upset & compares his actions to emma's was her grandmother's idea and then. here's the real kicker. once lisa shows up and prepares to take taylor away there are any number of actions a parent confident that they're doing the right thing for their child would normally do in response--not, like, Good actions, but things that a parent would be likely to pull. threatening to call the cops bc blah blah you're my daughter, wanting to speak to lisa's parents, any form of power move pulled over these two teenage girls but instead he speaks to lisa like she's an equal authority over taylor and seriously asks if she's "okay with this" (i should remind you of the concussion chapter where lisa is doing some insane power move shit over taylors dad covertly establishing herself as more competent at caring 4 her than him lmao) which is just like. it's so glaringly wildly obvious how this guy has Zero confidence in himself as a parent so he generally does nothing and then while he's doing nothing he oscillates btwn rationalizing it to himself as allowing her privacy/dignity, getting angry at himself/calling himself a coward, or getting mad at TAYLOR and blaming HER for not being the one to take initiation to be vulnerable with him and, like. he literally does make functional decisions prior to this for a bit! he's good and supportive at the meeting with the school board about the bullying!!! but it doesn't immediately solve literal years of distance between them that have led to taylor having to take decisionmaking for her wellbeing entirely into her own hands w/o being able to tell him about it [& having literally no route for human connection or support other than the undersiders] so he just completely crumbles on his own calls and seeks out/takes completely shit advice from taylor's grandma instead so i very much think what's insinuated here is like. especially given that he knows he has anger issues and never wants to Be Scary with them. he might have frequently leaned on annette for parenting decisions before she died and/or is really fucking haunted by the time(s) he didn't listen to her and it went wrong and now that she's gone he's just kinda floundering and trying to toss the baton for parental decisionmaking onto anyone else, including, at one point, the literal teenage girl who shows up to help taylor run away from his house. insane ! also. thinking about how taylor says her grandma (maternal) never liked her dad. that man would literally rather talk to the mother of his dead wife, who hates him, and take her advice than go 'yeah ithink im gonna keep using my own judgement for compassion towards my daughter' fucking worst anyones ever done it this guy has the spine of a twizzler it's great

...and then doing All That & severely triggering taylor's trauma from the bullying in the process completely shatters any trust he had built with her, catalyzing her realization that she wants to be able to have meaningful relationships with the undersiders & leading to her running away to leave with them! i don't think anyone can say for sure whether or not danny Not doing this would have led to taylor turning the undersiders in before realizing that she would regret it, but oh fucking boy does he make SURE she doesn't go thru with it. and it would be bad to call the cops on a bunch of systematically neglected traumatized teenagers regardless of how much crime they're doing so you know what maybe we should actually thank danny for his Shit Parenting stopping taylor from being a narc

[deutoplasmic]

smug takeru will be the end of me like hes sOOOO happy even if you swear to never speak of the shack again it wont stop you two from. stealing a few kisses when no ones looking 😶 YOU HATE HIM THOUGH YOU SWEAR!!! even when he gives you,,, soft forehead kisses after you bicker,,, or he kisses your hand before saying goodbye IM SO GRRHRJDJDJDJD

PLSSS OMG MIMIKYU,,, yea fengfan’s fighting for his LIFE in his mind hes so down bad for you,,, you walk up to him with a phantump you just found like “phantump say hello to 凡凡 this is your new dad” and fengfan swears hes so red he’ll explode

HOLDING HANDS WITH RUKI PLSSS he tries to act calm but youll just see him avoiding eye contact and only looking your way to look at your hands touch and freak out again 😭 HES SUCH A CAT alolan meowth is so perfect for him omg

MASAYA’S HONEY SHOP,,, will literally give free honey to any lil kid or pokemon,,, and the full bottles are shaped like his partner teddiursa I NEED TO DRAW THIS I NEED TO DRAW ALL OF THEM

OMG AYUTA AS AN APPRENTICE 😭 and compared to junki his singing partners would be like,,, softer like chingling,,,, and junki is so happy with his growing family he gets everyone matching bowties,,, and ofc free poffins even for ayuta (who is. mildly confused but hes accepted that junki is a bit strange)

PLSSS KYO GETTING YOU ALL THE SOUVENIRS,, he kept the malasadas chilled with his new bergmite friend,,, you guys can have a meal in front of your house and catch up,,, man kyosuke looks so good in natural lighting with his hat off I MEAN WHAT-

SHO AND KOSHIN ARE SO CUTE LIKE,,, and koshin is definitely trying to set him up with someone like “you dont want someone who can look after the daycare with you for the rest of your life till death do you part? 🥺” and sho is like “ahahahaha i mean,,,” (hes worse at rizz than he looks)

omg taichi with a hitmontop,, or a sandslash,,, AND OMG RAN WITH A SCIZOR YOURE SO RIGHT!!!! SHE WOULD BE ALL TOUGH WITH ONE LIKE ALL THE STRONG COOL FEMALE GYM LEADERS,, i need to write this all down i have to draw all of lapone with pokemon now,,,

LMAO NOT KUMI BECOMING WANTED BY PROXY 😭 hes so confused the whole time,,, but it does feel nice when you pat his head after he pilots the ship well,,, and maybe thats all that matters

LMAODKDJDJ THANK YOU i think ill upload it after i send this ask in!! have no idea what the caption will be yet but. ill make smth up

and @ the tags,, i get you omg my friend was sociogramming and writing down f (friend) and a (acquaintance) next to people and i was like. does that mean fluff and angst LMAODJDKDHDKDJD THE BRAINROT

every time you guys k*ss you make sure to remind him after that he's still a stupid annoying ratbag or whatever but he KNWOS whats inside your heart!!!!!!!!!!! you cant hide from him forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you're never going to fully admit it but what's that he keeps coming over a lot? yeah nahhhh he just wants to bother you like the menace he is (mame is frantically updating jin he can't believe his eyes is it REAL)

god fengfan is 5 seconds away from combustion!!!!!!!!!! the 凡凡 will have him kicking his feet desperately when he thinks abotu it later that night... he even finds a lil pumpkaboo for you for the matchign duo and GOD he almost loses it when you smile at him and say youve got twins now!!!!!!!!!!! he thinks he deserves an award for not exploding whenever you talk to him but also he's so grateful for the privilege. so

YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS he prolly has super clammy hands.... cold sweat on his palms........... youre like ruki do you need to wipe your hand and hes like NOOOOOPE whilst subtly scrubbing them on his pant leg LOL... he gets so nervous that his meowth uses pay day bc coins calm it down and maybe it'll work for ruki too! but actually it just looks like his wallet exploded and dumped coins on the ground so he's dying from embarrassment whilst you just pick up all the money for him :rofl:

HONEY BOTTLES SHAPED LIKE TEDDIURSA YOUR BRAIN IS SO MASSIVE FOR THIS. SO MASSIVE. omg his table is made out of maple wood stained a cute yellow that like. his friend ayane made or smth. and its draped with a honeycomb patterned tablecloth keigo made............ all of his little samples are in small jars the size of like tealights which are wrapped with small squares of the tablecloth fabric and twine around it for security.....

YOURE SO RIGHT one day they go out to the meadow to sing bc junki declares it perfect cutiefly spotting weather. yes ayuta tells him that theyll probably get poked by them but junki doesnt comprehend that. and for some reason meloetta shows up??????????????????? both of them refuse to try catching it bc that would be such an injustice. but. wow. theyre dumbstruck. AND THE MATCHING BOWTIES ARE SOOOOOO CUTE its insane........ and yeah. ayuta has accepted his fate in silly goose club LOL

OH MY DAYS youre so right he pulls out some tropius fruit from his satchel to share with you........ and his eyes are so shiny and hair so pretty in the sun i mean wait what huhhhhhhh ALSO HIM HAVING A BERGMITE IS SO REAL oh my days .... he probably delivers smth to like fengfan at some point who also has a frigibax and it starts bickering with the bergmite LOL

koshin can be devious when he wants to be LOL but omg im such a supporter of the confident sho totally lost for words and confidence around his crush theory like . hes charismatically explaining smth to some of the trainers looking at his daycare with all his smooth charm and you waltz in and hes like uh um uh uh well uh sorry uh yeah um uh huh

taichi sandslash would be so CUTE omg wait he also has like. a minun who is such a cutie and keeps cheering for them.... which is severely boosting ken's ego LOL and yeah omg..... love ran............ she probably specialises in steel type pokemon and there are a bunch of klinks and bronzor hanging aroudn the entry. she's taking care of a shiny aron at the moment and it's due to evolve any time soon....!!!!!

YEAH omg he takes you to meet his mechanic buddy hiroto one time after you need to get some part replacements and hirotos like wow takumi they must be really worth it to change sides of the law and takumi. well. hes dazed life is so good

LMFAO FLUFF AND ANGST........... its consuming us all...............

[smorgasbordofobsessions]

liveblog: yugioh! gx s126-137

ep126

i've been playing the episodes in the background so i don't have much to say about anything that's really happened but, i can understand that the pressure that chaz faces from his family to be the best and uphold the family makes him a douchebag with a huge superiority complex

chaz, in the last episode, was holding himself back from crying as he gave himself a pep-talk in the bathroom

it was honestly a bit sad becuse he's under enormous pressure to defeat jaden so that his family (his brothers) can continue their plan for world domination - and i can understand how that will fuck a kid up - chaz is like 14? 15? - so that's too much of a burden on his shoulders

"dueling is all about having fun!" "gag me"

imagine having your biggest insecurity just aired in front of everybody

HAHAHHAHA chaz has to start back in slifer since he's technically a new student since he dropped out what a joke but good for him

ep127

"that's the last time i mix chili sauce with ice cream"

cyrus what the fuck

hm so yeah the dorm head of slifer is sketchy what a surprise

"i'll tell you what the secret to getting up early is: staying up all night!"

jaden's right

ep128

"you enjoyed the shadow game?" "yeah!"

jade won half a medallion and the only other person who's won this trial has th other half

ep129

so the other dude to beat that grave trial is some masked guy who's working for a master who wants to cover the world in shadows

"three sacred beast cards"

oh ho here we goooo

though dim those cards do ook like the god cards

this chancellor is being MIGHTY forthcoming with security ad secruity information abotu the beast cards

honestly i 'm realy enjoying jaden's carefree attitude because yeah what is there to worry about when all you ahve to do is save the world? that's light work

"call of the haunted" wow

the red eyes black dragon!!

ep132

i wasn't paying attention to the episode where cahaz got this hideous monster spirit but it needs to fucking go

"i bet you talk to all the girls like that" "no. just ones i don't like"

ep134

chaz why are you sitting like that

KAIBA??? -man

wait!!!!! they made a "kaibaman" duel monsters card???

caz said that tis card was ctreated by kaiba himself! oh the on-brand narcissism - i love it!!

ep135

"if you wanna be helpful, get lost!"

so what's the ship name for chaz and jaden because i KNOW people ship them

i should look that up

there was an episode where chaz went to a different school and the WHOLE episode all he was doing was thinking about what jaden would say if e was there and i was laughing because a) chaz thinks jaden's nothing but the bottom of the barrel and b) bro why were you thinking about him???

someone is trying to buy out the school

oh shit kaiba founded duel academy????

wow chaz can only duel with monsters with less than 500 ATK

"this isn't fair." "no, but that's the point"

you're trying to tell me that there's an oublier of weak cards

but also wow free cards

i cant imagine designing these ugly ass monsters

also wow hearing duel monster spirits must suck

i will say that i do like the idea of a duel academy because there are some people who get really into the technicalities of dueling; and i think i remember the show said there's a game design track as well, so that's cool

but there's more to dueling than just memorizing cards - it's all about the heart of the cards!!!!

chaz is actually a good duelist, which was apparent, but is actually proven with the severe handicap he was dueling with

kaiba: "they have a lot to learn about world domination"

kaiba's actually right because, um, he already dominates the world

probably has kaibacorp napkins that are sold in supermarkets

ep136

i actually really like bastion-his approach to dueling is cool

cyrus has "thunder nyan nyan"?

chumley has a girlfriend that he can't remember the name of haha

oh lord this episode is about to be about card crushes hahaha

"crowler, what are you doing?" "a man's work" "a man's work? my, this must've been running very short on men"

this amazon is actually really sexy

the amazon wants to marry bastion, haha

ep137

the amazon rocked bastion's world then tossed him out like trash

the amazon is honestly so attractive though like damn

okay but like.. elemental hero avion is.. not hard to look at either