#liomsa: focail

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

the more i think about it the funnier it is that gmmtv looked at national badminton athlete mark pakin and said hm. brother of national badminton athlete energy..

[araujoesouza]

FÉIN-PORTRAIT

José Araujo de Souza Ná cuir an milleán orm as na focail nach ndeirim.Úsáidim tost mar theanga i gcónaí,sa chinnteacht go labhraíonn caint níos doimhne ná focail.Níl ionam, dar liomsa, aon dátaí speisialta,mar gheall ar na cinn a théann i dteagmháil le cuimhní cinn agus atá tuillte acu,coimeádtar iad sa chroí agus bíonn siad fíor, gach lá.Tá mé blunt, brusque agus tá mé gach rud is mian leo.Go…

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

it was so powerful that heart's snapping point was when his mother called him mute. there was something so real about that moment, i felt myself go cold and hard like concrete and the vindication of having heart give out to her - in HIS language, for HIS emotional service, taking no burden of translation [sidenote i find the choice to not subtitle the sign language soooo delicious].

she called him mute, and implied that he cannot speak for himself. and that is what abled people do to disabled people all the time. they create barriers to your agency, no effort to understand how your expressions of agency may be different or require different facilitation to theirs, and then claim that agency is something you don't have.

they call you mute because they will not hear you.

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

there's something so funny to me about "mew seems like a nice guy" sand and "i think he's lovely" mew indirectly wrecking eachother's whole shit by proxy. six degrees of nemeses

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

wow, i don't think i actually realised how worn out i was feeling on the amount of clangers, flops, and disappointments i've watched lately. love for love's sake is such a proficient and moving piece of storytelling, which leaves gaps to interpret and play in that aren't holes - they're there by design. it's a complete work, start to finish, devoted to its theme and inventive, loyal to character-moves-plot once the central premise is set up. the game elements (sound effects, pop up boxes) weren't gimmicky, they were used so atmospherically, like music score, tapping into that piece of us that is always so attuned to the sound of a notification or electronic buzz, our brain's invisible limb. performances: incredible. some of the best character work i've seen in ages, delivering "real" in a speculative genre format.

tell you what, watching this has sharpened my critical eye again - 2024 i'm expecting more from the genre. it can be done, love for love's sake just came in and proved it can be done. to me, one of the greatest advantages of watching these asia-sourced shows has been that their production and distribution models mean you don't get invested in something that is left unfinished, with a higher corporate power swinging the cancellation axe after a season or two. they complete their stories, whether it's an 8, 12, 50 episode drama, it is typically: one whole drama. a lot of the things i've been watching lately have had a quality slippage that forgoes that advantage, but no more! no more putting up with it, i will not be accepting any more quick turnover first drafts! we are making and devouring whole this year, and it must be a full, nourishing, serving!!

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

another really strong ep holy shit. and also one that has me really wondering about p'aof's writing history - does anyone know has he written or directed for stage? obviously bad buddy is littered with stagecraft; the romeo and juliet, the play within a play structure, so many one to one conversations and actions that speak in quiet rooms. stories that are built largely off of the strength of two characters speaking to each other, literally or figuratively.

but the way i can see it carried through last twilight too is so fascinating to me. i'm thinking especially of night and his ripped from stagecraft line a lá "the hero enters, and so the villain must exit" and literally taking his leave to the camera's wings beyond the lens. and The Kiss. another rooftop kiss, like bad buddy, like a tale of 1000 stars kiss on the top of the mountain. all i can see is how incredibly stageable these moments are. a dropcloth painted background, the right lighting, a little prop ledge to give it perspective...setting these emotionally intimate, quietly explosive moments against boundless backdrops. giving so much AIR to them, giving characters their room to breathe.

he writes/directs/envisions like a stagecraftsman first - and then completes the vision with some of the best elements cinema can offer that stage can't - close ups, scenes that move through irl locations, camera as performer and informer. it's just magical. because it's all in service of story. it feels so whole. what an auteur he is.

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

emotionally overwhelmed by ray's rehab entrance scene (who? me? i know right how weird and out of character for me to be doolally over a fictional happenstance with a broken character) and finding it so refreshing that, other than once by sand, there hasn't been an insistence that ray get help "for himself". that at his intake interview, he's given the option to be undertaking this scary vulnerable thing for somebody else's sake. because there is someone who loves him who wants him to do this, and that's reason enough. because he's hard to love! he knows he's nobody's fair weather forever, he's a broken, dysfunctional person, and he's hard to love, it requires patience to be with him, and he doesn't have that patience. ray's on the list of people for whom ray is hard to love, how is he meant to do something as hard as giving up drinking for himself? ray can't give up drinking for ray, ray's not worth that struggle.

but sand...

do it for yourself doesn't get it done for everybody. sometimes do it for yourself just makes it that much harder because "yourself" isn't a person you think is worth fighting for. but for a person you love? who against all odds and reason loves you? yeah maybe it can be done. and at the end of it all it doesn't matter why you do it - quitting drinking, not killing yourself, whatever it is - it matters that you DO it. and i found it really powerful to see that portrayed, when so many depictions will stress that the only way to truly recover is to do it for you. with support, yes, but not with someone else being your "reason" because that's "dependent" or "not healthy". when really, in practice, i don't care why you're still here. i care that you're still here, however you manage it.

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

sand is really sexy when he's being a manipulative bitch actually. probably first kanaphan's fault. probably my fault too but mostly his fault

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

that proposal scene was so special and so very, very khun aof thesis statement. the flashback journey through their story at this culminating moment, both earth and mix giving performances with such depth, it was a scene to suck the noise out of the rest of the world. it’s just all love, all encompassing, and not to sound like a cheesy old white lady but - a moment of soul to soul. full recognition and love of the other. and you can FEEL it. the undercurrent that this is a proposal. this belongs to them. that aof wants eyes on this tv to see the beauty of it and have a moment of clarity which says: they should be able to get married in their own country. everything that is special to them and their story - pha pun dao, their community, their memories of lost family and loved ones who will be present by their absence on that day - it’s at home. in thailand. they should be able to get married in thailand. aof played the long game where this scene is the last directive. “i will make something so beautiful that no one will be able to look at it and not See.” he does not direct in a vaccuum and he knows it. he loves the intertext, the metatext, text as tool. 

and then to cap it all off they fuck and it’s silly because it’s NOT ALL THAT SERIOUS!! it doesn’t have to be some monumental thing, queer love can be prosaic love, mundane love, sustaining love. but SIKE that’s what makes it monumental!! these are characters on screen and love happens everyday and legalise legalise legalise. affirm your citizens. look at this beautifully crafted gem, and see the people standing behind the camera with hearts just as fierce but infinitely real. released so close to thai pride too. khun aof i see you, you’re in MY walls

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

sort of a follow on to this post but

i can see sunbae forcing myung ha into this painful choice in ep7, forcing him into a pain that is active and searing rather than passive and numbing - to wake him up to his pain, to his feelings, to the fact that he has things that are important to him (reasons to stay). forcing myung ha to confront a living desire, and knowing him well enough to know he will choose to shorten his own, unvalued life instead of either of his loved ones'. sunbae uses the game mechanics to shove myung ha's own feelings in his face, pressurise the timeline and then this:

silhouetted in front of an video of oxygen floating upwards in water. he asks him to choose. break up painfully later to have the borrowed time with someone he cares about, or break up now to keep it amicable. put another way; experience highs and lows and be awake to it all, or sink into an ambivalent middle state of passivity.

tae myung ha. swim against the current? or open your mouth?

and he swims against the current!! he chooses a living pain!! he's waking up, and some crucibles are made with care!!

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

i have reawakened my latent the handmaiden stan side and am once again thinking of one of my favourite moments when sookhee jumps back over the wall to make a set of steps for hideko out of their suitcases. i am thinking of acts of gallantry and chivalry decoupled from gender roles. i am thinking of the obsession people have with relationships and their portrayal as "healthy" and what is lost under its monopoly. i am thinking of being so afraid of the idea of being dependent on love/another person that you could not see the beauty in having someone thoughtlessly build your path to safety for you, to lead you and ease every step of the way, just for the love of you. because dependency is any dynamic of unequal burden? is saving yourself the only legitimate way to live? is it so bad to lean on someone else, to love and be loved and call them saviour?

she built her steps to salvation when the wall between was high...

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

not to make everything about khatadome but explain to me why they are playing out in parallel to episodic stories which almost all revolve around the sublime horror that is created in the lengths people will go to to keep their lovers with them, in any form, at any price

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

how did boon get dome down the massive marble staircase in a wheelchair? was there a lift? i would love to see the cutscene with boon standing completely expressionless behind an unconcious dome. a [ding] when they get to the right floor. light muzak.

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

death's catchphrase being bing bong means everything to me. death being hot also means everything to me. i contain multitudes (all stupid)

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

entering my weekly plea and encouragement for people to watch umg or give it another chance with altered expectations if you dropped it. it’s truly my special little show that could and it was just always about childhood friendship and the childhood friendship that still lives in you as an adult. the desire to be in a small gang of people who understand and back up your freak. riding bikes. finding aliens in the woods. telling government and authority figures to go fuck themselves and that they are super not invited to the group hang out because they have no imagination or love in their hearts. it’s about friendship and FRIENDSHIP and the kind of friendship you had when you were twelve like god did you ever have friends like that again

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

vegas, to pete: you're the most important person in my life

macau, very much awake: checks out 😊