#liseproblems
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the weird schrödinger's emotion that is "that character death was narratively satisfying and emotionally impactful and ultimately the best way to handle their character arc" simultaneously with "noooo but I wanted them to live :( :( :("
#this is why fix it fic for me existing alongside canon tragedy is great honestly#because it lets me hold both in my head at the same time#like. i would probably not be nearly as fixated on yi city had it not ended horribly with everyone at least undead#but do i want everyone to get a chance at happiness? also yes#it's a complicated emotion#important text posts#liseproblems
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i do not need more teapots. but sometimes i see a teapot and it's so pretty and my brain just goes. "but what if you did need more teapots"
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sometimes i manage to be like "i need to rest in order to restore myself so that i can continue to create" and then i inevitably end up going "okay!!! rest faster! restore faster! chop chop!" about it which probably defeats the purpose
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i crave whump soooo bad. there has not been enough whump for my faves lately and i'm suffering about it. do i have to do everything myself
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there are many things i emphatically do not miss about living in nyc but. i do miss the nypl's massive collection of academic books. now i have to go begging in interlibrary loan forms. like a peon.
#important text posts#and i have had pretty good luck with ill so far#but so far it's only been for articles not whole books#this is my real life#liseproblems
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every time someone mentions a felix, anywhere, my brain goes "harrowgate?"
it's almost never felix harrowgate.
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just read "jta" as "jewish transit authority".......
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sometimes I read the words "I don't excuse [x]" about fictional characters and a little part of my brain just goes "well I do!"
#it's not even necessarily *true*#and yet. the contrarian impulse is still there#fuck the villain police#liseproblems
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i was correct about there not being fic for my new blorbo/problematic threesome, by the way. in fact, there appears to be no fic for the fandom at all. which is not surprising necessarily but still upsetting to me
#important text posts#am i going to end up writing fic for a fandom that doesn't have an ao3 fandom yet#possibly#liseproblems
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it would please me to buy an olive tree...but i'm not sure it's a wise financial decision...but they're on sale right now
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man if I had $4000 just lying around...
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maybe this will be the convention where i find xuexiao merch
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need to finish watching iwtv season 2 but also watch downfall but also watch my stand in but also watch mysterious lotus casebook but also keep up with meet you at the blossom but also
forced to work
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there is nothing quite like stepping into a new fandom to confront you facefirst with the forceful knowledge that most other people want something very different than you do
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read "everyone is happy and loving and supportive" in a summary and immediately went BORING and then felt kind of bad about it
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i crave more rand whump. "but lise," you might say, "isn't there, like, the entire series for that?"
and you would be correct. but also making my faves suffer worse is how i show my love
#important text posts#liseproblems#looking through ao3 like. please sir can i have some whump#tragic that someone this sexy doesn't get all the fic she wants
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