#liveblogging the randomest stuff since the early aughts

[kivrin]

A friend who is a specialist in Victorian lit linked me to this and I have been reading it and drinking bourbon. Here is the liveblog stream of comments I sent her and @breadandroses42​.

"A small establishment: man-servant, cook, housemaid, and lady's maid." Oh, okay. If you only have one servant FUCK YOU, clearly. #fakeladies #totaltrashhavenoservants

I like how there are no ACTUAL INSTRUCTIONS as to how to make tea. Not even as much as for coffee. And does the water get boiled IN the dining room, or get brought up from the kitchen, in which case it's hardly going to be boiling, is it?

DUST THE DRAWING ROOM TWICE A DAY. I'm calling it: open fires are officially Not Worth It if there are any alternatives.

Servants get the same dinner every day... well, no surprise there. Though a pint of beer a day, as a woman servant, sounds pretty nice. This is 1863 so London water might not actually kill you... 

TWO KINDS OF MEAT ON EVERY DINNER MENU. How the fuck did the staff get that all hot at the same time over a wood stove?

I have some memory of reading a recipe for Eve's Pudding but I don't remember what was in it. @breadandroses42​: If you don't have a MANSERVANT you shouldn't even be READING this. @kivrin​: Well. If you don't have a manservant, are you even likely to be literate?

I am... in a weird way... heartened to see that a lady of 1863 needed "what's in season" explained to her by a friendly text. It's not just the insulated children of the late-20th-century coastal elites (i.e., me.)

My image of a dialogue between the Mr and Mrs Target Audience For This Book: "Amabel, darling, I should dearly love grouse for dinner to-morrow" "Oh, Charles, I should like nothing better than to oblige you but to-day is only the 9th August and grouse is not in season until the 12th." "FIE!' [rings bell violently] "MORE CLARET!"

HOW DOES COTTON-WOOL PREVENT DEATH BY BURNING?? This book raises as many questions as it answers!

"rub the wine-stain into hot and boiling milk and it will disappear." I QUESTION THE PHYSICS OF THIS.

What the HELL is rotten stone.

Cooks should be between 25 and 35... so I’m too old. Well, phew.

Making your own ink. THIS IS THE NINETEENTH CENTURY WHAT ARE WE SAVAGES? Also holy shit boiling 9 gallons of water that will take a fuckton of fuel right there.

I'm fascinated that the author keeps sneering at "Marthas" without giving any positive reinforcement to "Marys."