#lmao i rly couldve just say ‘i got old’ but nooo i cant shut my mouth

[foervraengd]

Heyo o/ I looked at a recent post. You are older than me for like, five years! I have always been a fan of your work, but this really put things in perspective for me. Lately it feels like I have trouble making friends and it feels like my time to shine passed. How do you stay motivated? there's a feeling of desolation whenever I see people younger than me getting popular so fast and be so ahead of the game.

Im not sure if youre asking about social life or like being an artist so im gonna assume its both. This turned into a hella long post so i apologize in advance. First answer is based on that youre talking about social life:

Short answer: I got older and learned to not rely on motivation.

Long answer: When i turned 30 I got better at not caring. And when i mean “not caring” i mean not caring about things that, in the big picture, doesnt really matter. Stuff like going viral doesnt matter. Being sad i didnt publish more books didnt matter anymore. Im finally no longer in my 20s. I didnt “succeed” in my 20s (whatever that even means) and thats okay. I could worry about other things instead. Circumstances might not get better with age but the way you prioritize which things to worry about kinda improves. I never missed my time to shine because thats a stupid concept to begin with. I dont see my friends a lot but whenever we do meet its great times. So I treasure that more. Instead of worrying about making new friends, I now think about not being enough of a friend to the friends i already have. I dont know your life situation so I can only tell you mine. But if anything, i do not miss being young. Like when i was 20 I thought my whole life was a failure just because I didnt have a partner lmao. Thats fucking stupid ass reasoning. Fuck that shit. Like honestly I have seen enough young people getting burnt out because they got popular faster than they’re capable of handling. You actually do not want to experience that stuff, trust me. You will always be able to make new friends at any age at any stage in life. Just make sure to floss and brush ur teeth because having a nice breath does a lot.

Second answer, based on if you mean success in art, I think im just gonna give you this draft i found dating back to 2015. Where 25yo me is ranting about age and art skill: