#lmfaaao these idiots

[kimbapisnotsushi]

so i only suggested it as a joke but like. here's the fucking list of token cishet haikyuu characters per team i guess let's go!!

(also i am SO sorry i know this is way past fifteen minutes)

karasuno: oh dear oh fuck. okay look i love daisuga and kurodai as much as the next person but solid reliable daichi?? daichi who is like the epitome of big man on campus?? who at first glance looks like he doesn't even know what there is beyond gay?? and yeah he doesn't really understand sometimes, but all he knows is that he loves his team and he wants them to be happy!! so he does his best!!

nekoma: y'all already know but. lev LMFAAO. like it truly can't be anyone else he's sixteen, he's got no shame, he's got a cool older sister who teaches him that, no, the pad does NOT stick to the body and yes you need a top coat to have good nails . . . lev is just so honest and straightforward and simple-minded in the BEST way possible i love him

seijoh: kindaichi for very very similar reasons to daichi but like. on the OPPOSITE end of the spectrum. like. he's a bit of an asshole! he gives off classic american high school bigoted jock vibes!! he looks like he'd shove your head down the toilet and trip you in the hallway! but he's actually quite kind and thoughtful and even tho he's never been in a fight in his LIFE he WOULD get into one for seijoh!!

fukurodani: komi haruki!! komi haruki!! komi fuckin haruki!!! like whatever people say about bokuto being the only himbo on fukurodani is SO fucking untrue komi haruki has the muscle to just straight up DECK anyone being an absolute asshole and will take you out for coffee after!!

shiratorizawa: not that i intend on making a pattern with the liberos but like. i do indeed think it would be yamagata LMFAAAO. because like, if we do process of elimination . . . it's NOT goshiki, it's NOT shirabu or kawanishi, it's NOT ushijima, tendou, semi, or reon . . . yamagata takes it!!

dateko: fukiage jingo. he's long-suffering bc he has to deal with kogasaku being absolute idiots about whatever it is they have going on but those are his friends and he loves them very much!!

johzenji: higashi. he's still more respectful than terushima and bobata ever were.

kakugawa: minamida. he always knows what to say and he learns REALLY easily.

nohebi: numai. he's good i can tell.

inarizaki: wouldn't you know it!! it's the libero again!! akagi michinari coming in hot with the "shut your mouth or i'll do it for you!!" and he's smiling like a total angel while he says it!!

itachiyama: iizuna. sakusa and komori rely on him for more than they intend to, but he doesn't mind.

mujinazaki: ezo. he's soooo fuckin tired man. he loves the team and he'll do anything for them, ESPECIALLY against an asshole, but dear god do they drive him nuts

kamomedai: suwa. i trust that man with my LIFE.

tsubakihara: echigo!! another one where the captain takes it. king's already got a gf too i just know he treats her right!!

[dizi-maniac]